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Should I Marry Her? - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Re: Should I Marry Her? by Kobojunkie: 10:32am On Feb 17, 2022
Gosh234:
Thanks so much, you are absolutely right, we are taking more time now to fix a source of income for myself, maybe starting same Business in same city independently
See, there are not formulaes set in stone as far as relationships are concerned so it is wrong to assume we are all has to follow a set footprint in these things. undecided

Your woman there seems to even be the ticket to you gaining income right after graduation there, something most men can never fathom ever happening to them or doing, so it is up to you to decide whether she is a keeper or not. I wish you the very best in your life and I hope it works out for the both of you either way you chose to go. undecided

1 Like

Re: Should I Marry Her? by LilMissFavvy(f): 11:11am On Feb 17, 2022
Your woman is the one who needs advice, not you. You do not love her, if you did, you would be talking about not having a source of income/how to pay bride price, and NOT HER AGE. Of course by now a lot of people have seen men who married older wives, and have successful marriages. Just last week, there was a thread on front page, where world billionaire footballers were listed, and their older wives. Some have been married to their older wives for 10yrs plus, some of these men married when they were your age. yet their wives all look young, none looked older than their husbands. Check the thread, Shakira was among . Your woman needs advice, prayers, etc. She's a big-fooool in love. I personally have seen many ladies who married above 30yrs, and I believe she definitely has suitors, yet she's foolishly in love with you. Pls save her and bring her back to reality, by ending the relationship asap, when you leave her, she will get serious with another man. A good mature husband covers his wife's flaws, but you are already prepared to go and announce your woman's age to your family. Pls end the relationship.

This is how ladies bring problems to themselves, wasting one year plus, dating a man, when she knew he wasn't interested in marriage? A relationship that is totally USELESS to her.
Gosh234:


I am 25 years while she is 30years
Currently doing my NYSC, while she deals on laptops and other accessories,which is going fine

We are very compatible and of like minds
We love each other so much
Very decent
Responsible
And very humble all these while we have known


Whatever i desired in a woman she has them all

doesn't mind footing all the bills and everything as regards to that

I never expected this because our agreement is to marry when any serious suitor comes

She isn't desperate because if she , I know of at least 3 of stable men with good source of income waiting just for her YES

She suggested I join her in business as well, as her business is my business as well while searching for a job

At same time I so much love her

Same as age gap because she looks damn younger than her age

4 Likes

Re: Should I Marry Her? by Gosh234: 12:33pm On Feb 17, 2022
faithfull18:
Oga, get a job or business. Nairaland is the worst place to ask for relationship advice.
Thanks , working on that already
Re: Should I Marry Her? by Gosh234: 12:34pm On Feb 17, 2022
elantraceey:
I don't have any issues with the age gap but I won't advice any man to get married to anyone, even Otedola daughters without a very good stable source of income on their own. Work on that first.
On it already
Thanks so much
Re: Should I Marry Her? by Gosh234: 12:36pm On Feb 17, 2022
freddie009:
There are three things to be considered when getting married to a woman.

- Age
-Level of education
-Money

You should have at least 2/3 higher than your spouse to get maximum respect.
Thanks so much sir
Re: Should I Marry Her? by Gosh234: 12:40pm On Feb 17, 2022
LilMissFavvy:
Your woman is the one who needs advice, not you. You do not love her, if you did, you would be talking about not having a source of income/how to pay bride price, and NOT HER AGE. Of course by now a lot of people have seen men who married older wives, and have successful marriages. Just last week, there was a thread on front page, where world billionaire footballers were listed, and their older wives. Some have been married to their older wives for 10yrs plus, some of these men married when they were your age. yet their wives all look young, none looked older than their husbands. Check the thread, Shakira was among . Your woman needs advice, prayers, etc. She's a big-fooool in love. I personally have seen many ladies who married above 30yrs, and I believe she definitely has suitors, yet she's foolishly in love with you. Pls save her and bring her back to reality, by ending the relationship asap, when you leave her, she will get serious with another man. A good mature husband covers his wife's flaws, but you are already prepared to go and announce your woman's age to your family. Pls end the relationship.

This is how ladies bring problems to themselves, wasting one year plus, dating a man, when she knew he wasn't interested in marriage? A relationship that is totally USELESS to her.
Her AGE is never the problem here, mentioning it here is for better understanding of the readers, the problem here is source of income and how to go about the marriage rites
Re: Should I Marry Her? by Gosh234: 12:41pm On Feb 17, 2022
Kobojunkie:
See, there are not formulaes set in stone as far as relationships are concerned so it is wrong to assume we are all has to follow a set footprint in these things. undecided

Your woman there seems to even be the ticket to you gaining income right after graduation there, something most men can never fathom ever happening to them or doing, so it is up to you to decide whether she is a keeper or not. I wish you the very best in your life and I hope it works out for the both of you either way you chose to go. undecided
Thanks

1 Like

Re: Should I Marry Her? by Elporo(m): 1:02pm On Feb 17, 2022
Gosh234:
I think this is the right section to post this to get the audience needed after posted earlier on Romance Section

I am 25 years while she is 30 years

Same as age gap because she looks damn younger than her age

You are the type of man the e-newspapers on nairaland desire.

Young, oblivious, stupid, and virile

Look here, you have 10 years even more to select a wife. Ignore the 30 year old. You have nothing to gain from her.

Absolutely nothing.

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: Should I Marry Her? by Tickles001(m): 2:18pm On Feb 17, 2022
Gosh234:
I think this is the right section to post this to get the audience needed after posted earlier on Romance Section

I am 25 years while she is 30years
Currently doing my NYSC, while she deals on laptops and other accessories,which is going fine

We have stayed for a year and few months now
We are very compatible and of like minds
We love each other so much
Very decent
Responsible
And very humble all these while we have known

Whatever desired in a woman she has them all

On November,this started
She came to my house and after eating
She asked me out for a marriage and she doesn't mind footing all the bills and everything as regards to that

I never expected this because our agreement is to marry when any serious suitor comes

She isn't desperate because if she , I know of at least 3 of stable men with good source of income waiting just for her YES

I don't have a house of mine neither any source of income

She suggested I join her in business as well, as her business is my business as well while searching for a job

At same time I so much love her


Actually at this point
I don't know where to start

NB- Never knew she owns the business till months we have dated

Same as age gap because she looks damn younger than her age

Don't try it. She's definitely not as good as you think, but your mind seems too clouded for you to notice that.

At 24, I think you should focus more on building yourself so you can attract more worthy women, and then make your pick when you're ready for marriage.

Except you see yourself so lowly that you believe she's the best woman you can ever attract in the next 7yrs, then you go ahead.

3 Likes

Re: Should I Marry Her? by 22o62021: 2:26pm On Feb 17, 2022
You Dey tell us when marriage card don come out

No be for new Benin she dey

1 Like

Re: Should I Marry Her? by LilMissFavvy(f): 3:40pm On Feb 17, 2022
Her age is never a problem? But in your other thread you mentioned her age as a problem, wondering what your parents would say.

The fact is that some ladies do contribute to foot their marriage ceremony, however, bride price is symbolic and should only be paid by the man (you). If indeed you were serious about marrying her you would have asked her to give you like a year or two years to hussle for bride price and probably look for a job. She's the one in love and would wait for you. I believe if she decides to give you time to hussle for a job, you will feel she's putting you under pressure, so better you call off the relationship.

I believe you may still be lucky to meet a younger lady who ticks the qualities you like in future. All will be well, good luck.
Gosh234:
Her AGE is never the problem here, mentioning it here is for better understanding of the readers, the problem here is source of income and how to go about the marriage rites

3 Likes

Re: Should I Marry Her? by oldienavie: 4:29pm On Feb 17, 2022
LilMissFavvy:
Her age is never a problem? But in your other thread you mentioned her age as a problem, wondering what your parents would say.

The fact is that some ladies do contribute to foot their marriage ceremony, however, bride price is symbolic and should only be paid by the man (you). If indeed you were serious about marrying her you would have asked her to give you like a year or two years to hussle for bride price and probably look for a job. She's the one in love and would wait for you. I believe if she decides to give you time to hussle for a job, you will feel she's putting you under pressure, so better you call off the relationship.

I believe you may still be lucky to meet a younger lady who ticks the qualities you like in future. All will be well, good luck.

The bolded, are you serious ?
How many men do you know personally that married ladies 5 years older than them ? I am not talking of hollywood, how many of your uncles, brothers, cousins etc do you know that there wives are 5 years older than them ?

There are lots of younger ladies and he meeting them is not a thing of luck.... This is a 25 year old man who is just starting life, if this was your own brother, will you be insinuating that he is lucky for having a 30 year old lady who is 5 years older than him, ready to pay her own bride price so she can marry him ?

4 Likes

Re: Should I Marry Her? by Truvelisback(m): 4:41pm On Feb 17, 2022
Gosh234:
I think this is the right section to post this to get the audience needed after posted earlier on Romance Section

I am 25 years while she is 30years
Currently doing my NYSC, while she deals on laptops and other accessories,which is going fine

We have stayed for a year and few months now
We are very compatible and of like minds
We love each other so much
Very decent
Responsible
And very humble all these while we have known

Whatever desired in a woman she has them all

On November,this started
She came to my house and after eating
She asked me out for a marriage and she doesn't mind footing all the bills and everything as regards to that

I never expected this because our agreement is to marry when any serious suitor comes

She isn't desperate because if she , I know of at least 3 of stable men with good source of income waiting just for her YES

I don't have a house of mine neither any source of income

She suggested I join her in business as well, as her business is my business as well while searching for a job

At same time I so much love her


Actually at this point
I don't know where to start

NB- Never knew she owns the business till months we have dated

Same as age gap because she looks damn younger than her age
Marry her.

3 Likes

Re: Should I Marry Her? by smaze01: 5:05pm On Feb 17, 2022
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1 Like

Re: Should I Marry Her? by Gosh234: 5:24pm On Feb 17, 2022
LilMissFavvy:
Her age is never a problem? But in your other thread you mentioned her age as a problem, wondering what your parents would say.

The fact is that some ladies do contribute to foot their marriage ceremony, however, bride price is symbolic and should only be paid by the man (you). If indeed you were serious about marrying her you would have asked her to give you like a year or two years to hussle for bride price and probably look for a job. She's the one in love and would wait for you. I believe if she decides to give you time to hussle for a job, you will feel she's putting you under pressure, so better you call off the relationship.

I believe you may still be lucky to meet a younger lady who ticks the qualities you like in future. All will be well, good luck.
Thanks ma
Re: Should I Marry Her? by Raalsalghul: 6:33pm On Feb 17, 2022
SeaTrade:
The bolded is a lie sha... grin grin
Financially stable guys(or rich by your description) waiting for the yes of a 30years old woman that peddles probably used laptops for small profits doesn't seem weird to you?... grin grin grin
That girl has her fingers way up the higher echelon of your developing brain.

wink

The Op needs better orientation; too naive.

2 Likes

Re: Should I Marry Her? by LilMissFavvy(f): 6:42pm On Feb 17, 2022
My uncle, his wife is older than him. They are still married till today, I have mentioned this my uncle with his older wife severally on this forum. Personally in the past I dated a younger man, without knowing. He hid his age from me. Of course I told him my age early enough, so because he knew I was 2yrs older he refused to tell me his age. Later he said he was the same age with me. Later he began to dribble that age is just a number. I finally found out he was younger. I kept calm because I knew genuine love was what made him hide his age. My carelessness and unforgiveness over a very minor offense he committed is what made me break that engagement I don't have regrets anyway, cuz I moved on. If my brother were to be in the OP's situation, I would find out if she's truly a good lady, don't ask me how I would find out, I know how to. If she is good, then I'd be in support.
oldienavie:


The bolded, are you serious ?
How many men do you know personally that married ladies 5 years older than them ? I am not talking of hollywood, how many of your uncles, brothers, cousins etc do you know that there wives are 5 years older than them ?

There are lots of younger ladies and he meeting them is not a thing of luck.... This is a 25 year old man who is just starting life, if this was your own brother, will you be insinuating that he is lucky for having a 30 year old lady who is 5 years older than him, ready to pay her own bride price so she can marry him ?

4 Likes

Re: Should I Marry Her? by oldienavie: 6:59pm On Feb 17, 2022
LilMissFavvy:
My uncle, his wife is older than him. They are still married till today, I have mentioned this my uncle with his older wife severally on this forum. Personally in the past I dated a younger man, without knowing. He hid his age from me. Of course I told him my age early enough, so because he knew I was 2yrs older he refused to tell me his age. Later he said he was the same age with me. Later he began to dribble that age is just a number. I finally found out he was younger. I kept calm because I knew genuine love was what made him hide his age. My carelessness and unforgiveness over a very minor offense he committed is what made me break that engagement I don't have regrets anyway, cuz I moved on. If my brother were to be in the OP's situation, I would find out if she's truly a good lady, don't ask me how I would find out, I know how to. If she is good, then I'd be in support.
So this your uncle that is younger than his wife, what is the gap ?
So out of all the people in your life, it is just 1 person that you know that the wife is older than him and the gap is probably not up to 5 years, in short you don't know anyone in real life who is 5 years older than thier husband, is this true ?

So if out of all the people you know in your life, you can't point to 1 person who is 5 years older than their husband what does that tell you ?

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Should I Marry Her? by Saintmary(f): 7:07pm On Feb 17, 2022
Gosh234:
I think this is the right section to post this to get the audience needed after posted earlier on Romance Section

I am 25 years while she is 30years
Currently doing my NYSC, while she deals on laptops and other accessories,which is going fine

We have stayed for a year and few months now
We are very compatible and of like minds
We love each other so much
Very decent
Responsible
And very humble all these while we have known

Whatever desired in a woman she has them all

On November,this started
She came to my house and after eating
She asked me out for a marriage and she doesn't mind footing all the bills and everything as regards to that

I never expected this because our agreement is to marry when any serious suitor comes

She isn't desperate because if she , I know of at least 3 of stable men with good source of income waiting just for her YES

I don't have a house of mine neither any source of income

She suggested I join her in business as well, as her business is my business as well while searching for a job

At same time I so much love her


Actually at this point
I don't know where to start

NB- Never knew she owns the business till months we have dated

Same as age gap because she looks damn younger than her age


If you're asking, that means you're not sure.



Let her marry one of those men who are sure.

2 Likes

Re: Should I Marry Her? by emmaodet: 7:33pm On Feb 17, 2022
SeaTrade:
The bolded is a lie sha... grin grin
Financially stable guys(or rich by your description) waiting for the yes of a 30years old woman that peddles probably used laptops for small profits doesn't seem weird to you?... grin grin grin
That girl has her fingers way up the higher echelon of your developing brain.

grin grin grin grin grin

you too get bad mouth bro

1 Like

Re: Should I Marry Her? by LilMissFavvy(f): 7:46pm On Feb 17, 2022
Are you trying to throw jabs or what? sad . I mentioned my uncle, cuz he's a relative, a perfect example, so needless I mention other couples that I heard the wife is older. My dad said my uncle is 6yrs younger, my mum said the wife mentioned 5yrs. So the age gap is between 5/or 6. My uncle and wife look good together. I talked about this my uncle before, on this forum, and if I should have the patience to search my comments years back, I would provide a screenshot. You can't expect everyone to share your opinion. If the OPs age gap was up to 10yrs, that's when I would see it as not okay. A man that will cheat , will cheat, wether his wife is far younger or not, but I still advice the OP to call off the relationship cuz I feel he does not love her enough to go ahead.

oldienavie:

So this your uncle that is younger than his wife, what is the gap ?
So out of all the people in your life, it is just 1 person that you know that the wife is older than him and the gap is probably not up to 5 years, in short you don't know anyone in real life who is 5 years older than thier husband, is this true ?

So if out of all the people you know in your life, you can't point to 1 person who is 5 years younger than their husband what does that tell you ?

4 Likes

Re: Should I Marry Her? by emmaodet: 8:00pm On Feb 17, 2022
Acidosis:


She is actually desperate and you don't know jack about those 3 "stable men". Saying "Yes" to any of those men will only get her laid. She knows this and that's why she's hell bent on funding her marriage with you. It takes nothing to tell a lady about marriage. It takes bravery to approach her family for a traditional marriage list. When it comes to the "former", she's seen it all at her age, she's experienced all the lies and disappointment and can see through the desperation of those 3 men. That's why she's never going to give them her attention.

I don't know what to say about getting married to someone 5 years older but do not get married while you're jobless. Her promises and intentions to fund the wedding are from a place of desperate kindness but here is the problem, the moment a man becomes too comfortable with this system, the man will hardly want to do anything. Sooner or later, you'll begin to irritate her. I am sure her thriving business and kindness are reasons you're considering marriage at this point. You don't want to lose a "kind" woman but it's a trap in disguise.

Do not push your responsibility to your woman unless the situation at hand is critical (e.g. loss of employment, sickness). Yours is not a critical case. There's nothing critical about an unmarried 25 year old boy.

Gbam!!!!!!!!!!
You have given him a brotherly advice.
It is up to him to take it.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Should I Marry Her? by emmaodet: 8:15pm On Feb 17, 2022
MufasaLion:


Your story doesn't add up.

grin grin grin
Re: Should I Marry Her? by SeaTrade(m): 8:16pm On Feb 17, 2022
emmaodet:


grin grin grin grin grin

you too get bad mouth bro
The thing funny na. grin

1 Like

Re: Should I Marry Her? by emmaodet: 8:35pm On Feb 17, 2022
oldienavie:


The bolded, are you serious ?
How many men do you know personally that married ladies 5 years older than them ? I am not talking of hollywood, how many of your uncles, brothers, cousins etc do you know that there wives are 5 years older than them ?

There are lots of younger ladies and he meeting them is not a thing of luck.... This is a 25 year old man who is just starting life, if this was your own brother, will you be insinuating that he is lucky for having a 30 year old lady who is 5 years older than him, ready to pay her own bride price so she can marry him ?

grin grin grin grin grin

1 Like

Re: Should I Marry Her? by Nobody: 9:24pm On Feb 17, 2022
LilMissFavvy:
My uncle, his wife is older than him. They are still married till today, I have mentioned this my uncle with his older wife severally on this forum. Personally in the past I dated a younger man, without knowing. He hid his age from me. Of course I told him my age early enough, so because he knew I was 2yrs older he refused to tell me his age. Later he said he was the same age with me. Later he began to dribble that age is just a number. I finally found out he was younger. I kept calm because I knew genuine love was what made him hide his age. My carelessness and unforgiveness over a very minor offense he committed is what made me break that engagement I don't have regrets anyway, cuz I moved on. If my brother were to be in the OP's situation, I would find out if she's truly a good lady, don't ask me how I would find out, I know how to. If she is good, then I'd be in support.

How do I find out who's a good lady?

2 Likes

Re: Should I Marry Her? by henrimoto(m): 9:46pm On Feb 17, 2022
... hmnn. Oga acidosis, good evening sir! So much reality in your coment. [quote author=Acidosis post=110295261]

She is actually desperate and you don't know jack about those 3 "stable men". Saying "Yes" to any of those men will only get her laid. She knows this and that's why she's hell bent on funding her marriage with you. It takes nothing to tell a lady about marriage. It takes bravery to approach her family for a traditional marriage list. When it comes to the "former", she's seen it all at her age, she's experienced all the lies and disappointment and can see through the desperation of those 3 men. That's why she's never going to give them her attention.

I don't know what to say about getting married to someone 5 years older but do not get married while you're jobless. Her promises and intentions to fund the wedding are from a place of desperate kindness but here is the problem, the moment a man becomes too comfortable with this system, the man will ha

2 Likes

Re: Should I Marry Her? by Lostchild(m): 10:42pm On Feb 17, 2022
Gosh234

You dey fear good woman?

You are afraid of a woman that is mature enough to handle you tenderly.

Wake up from your sleep and marry her

3 Likes

Re: Should I Marry Her? by Gosh234: 12:33am On Feb 18, 2022
LilMissFavvy:
My uncle, his wife is older than him. They are still married till today, I have mentioned this my uncle with his older wife severally on this forum. Personally in the past I dated a younger man, without knowing. He hid his age from me. Of course I told him my age early enough, so because he knew I was 2yrs older he refused to tell me his age. Later he said he was the same age with me. Later he began to dribble that age is just a number. I finally found out he was younger. I kept calm because I knew genuine love was what made him hide his age. My carelessness and unforgiveness over a very minor offense he committed is what made me break that engagement I don't have regrets anyway, cuz I moved on. If my brother were to be in the OP's situation, I would find out if she's truly a good lady, don't ask me how I would find out, I know how to. If she is good, then I'd be in support.
Thank you so much dear
Re: Should I Marry Her? by Gosh234: 12:36am On Feb 18, 2022
emmaodet:


Gbam!!!!!!!!!!
You have given him a brotherly advice.
It is up to him to take it.
Nice advice up there, fixing and working things together with my woman

1 Like

Re: Should I Marry Her? by Gosh234: 12:37am On Feb 18, 2022
Lostchild:
Gosh234

You dey fear good woman?

You are afraid of a woman that is mature enough to handle you tenderly.

Wake up from your sleep and marry her
LostChild, just need to fix one or two things, mind made up already
Re: Should I Marry Her? by mastermaestro(m): 1:16am On Feb 18, 2022
Elporo:


You are the type of man the e-newspapers on nairaland desire.

Young, oblivious, stupid, and virile

Look here, you have 10 years even more to select a wife. Ignore the 30 year old. You have nothing to gain from her.

Absolutely nothing.

Bitter truth served hot. grin

1 Like

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