Am a young father am in my late 30s, I have a daughter of 19yr old. I have been able to follow up with her to remain a virgin till 18/19yr old.
But lately I discovered she has been disvirgined by a young guy, I was so devastated because that wasn't plan I had for her to be disvirgined at that age, at least I was expecting 22yr or more but at the end she disappointed me even with all the advice and life lessons I have given to her.
Am an urhobo man and according to the urhobo tradition? what should be paid by the boy who disvirgined an urhobo girl?. Not that we the parents are hungry, no. Just to bring respect to my daughter and my family and also to make me forgive my daughter too.
Please if you know very well about the urhobo tradition please don't hesitate to share your own opinion what should be paid for disvirging a girl in urhobo land , she is my first child and you know what that means.

Hmmm that’s deep.

As ur family member
The boy will pay money

OP, the best answers you'll get on this issue will be from the elders in your family.

Your disappointment is understandable. But please take it easy. Sometimes, things don't go as we want.

What she needs now is good counsel on how to chart a great life course.


Shalom.

Donjuan77:
Am a young father am in my late 30s, I have a daughter of 19yr old. I have been able to follow up with her to remain a virgin till 18/19yr old.
But lately I discovered she has been disvirgined by a young guy, I was so devastated because that wasn't plan for her to be disvirgined at that age, at least I was expecting 22yr or more but at the end she disappointed me even with all the advice and life lessons I used to tell her.
Am an urhobo man and according to the urhobo tradition what should be paid by the boy who disvirgined an urhobo girl for disvirging my daughter. Not that we the parents are hungry, no. Just to bring respect to my daughter and my family and also to make me forgive my daughter too.
Please if you know very well about the urhobo tradition please don't hesitate to share your own opinion what should be paid for disvirging a girl in urhobo land , she is my first child and you know what that means.

Urhobo does not take payment for disvirgined girls, my dad was second highest ranking chief in our kingdom with 5 daughters, never in my life did I ever hear him take this fee or anyone else for that matter. Just leave your daughter to live her in peace abeg, na phuck she phuck, she no kill person.

The female child.....hmmmm....I feel your pain sir. But jettison any useless tradition. We are in a civilised world where an 18 year old can lose her virginity whenever, wherever, however and to whomever she wants. We have too many problems in Nigeria, don't add someone's sexual decision to it.

Thanks to you all for the advice here, if something or nothing should be payed that's not a problem for now, but I have told my daughter before now that whosoever that will disvirgin her must equally marry her too.

Donjuan77:

Am an urhobo man and according to the urhobo tradition what should be paid by the boy who disvirgined an urhobo girl for disvirging my daughter. Not that we the parents are hungry, no. Just to bring respect to my daughter and my family and also to make me forgive my daughter too.
Please if you know very well about the urhobo tradition please don't hesitate to share your own opinion what should be paid for disvirging a girl in urhobo land , she is my first child and you know what that means.

Your daughter consented to intercourse - she was not raped - and you, her father feel you need to be compensated for her act, by whom?

What do you mean by "bring respect to my daughter"? Why not start by respecting the girl's choice to no longer remain a virgin, and your tool ?

Is your child's virginity your property or something?

Donjuan77:
Thanks to you all for the advice, if something or nothing would payed that's not a problem for now, but I have told my daughter before now that whosoever that will disvirgin her must equally marry her too.

Don’t put that pressure on her. Many of these boys these days are not mentally ok. Teach her about safe sex, use of condoms always and understanding her cycle. Let her take her time to find the right man to marry.

Tell her before unprotected sex which should only happen in marriage, she and the boy must go for full health check. Pregnancy should not be a priority till she’s married so, she must protect herself at all costs and not assume the guy will protect her and himself.

Kobojunkie:
Your daughter consented to intercourse - she was not raped - and you, her father feel you need to be compensated for her act, by whom?

What do you mean by "bring respect to my daughter"? Why not start by respecting the girl's choice to no longer remain a virgin, and your tool ?

Is your child's virginity your property or something?

You and the person that liked your post are not okay...what sort of moral decadent entity are u self...
Weren't you taught values at all....

It's this your stupid wokeness that is throwing this country and the world into mayhem..

A father raised his daughter under his roof, under his care, fed and clothed her for years and you are asking him why he feels disappointed that that girl ended up having intercouse without properly being married...wetin dis wan dey talk

Mr woke we are Africans and some of us are Christian..
Which one is consented intercourse or choose to lose virginity...she is still under her parents and must do the right an proper thing..

I just wonder what u will teach ur kids ... spitssss in disgust

Emperordynasty:
1. You and the person that liked your post are not okay...what sort of moral decadent entity are u self...
Weren't you taught values at all....

2. It's this your stupid wokeness that is throwing this country and the world into mayhem..

3. A father raised his daughter under his roof, under his care, fed and clothed her for years and you are asking him why he feels disappointed that that girl ended up having intercouse without properly being married...wetin dis wan dey talk

4. Mr woke we are Africans and some of us are Christian.. Which one is consented intercourse or choose to lose virginity...she is still under her parents and must do the right an proper thing..

5. I just wonder what u will teach ur kids ... spitssss in disgust

1. Moral decadence? Values? Of what worth are Values that do not respect an individual's right to choose?.

2. Wrong! It is the foolishness of our fathers and forefathers before us that led us where we are today in Nigeria... we are today what they did yesterday. That is the story of every society out there, Nigeria included.

3. Yes, I get it. He raised himself a slave(controlled by him in all wise) he could rule over, and then marry off for profit(bride pride and goods).. I get it.

4. Please stop! There is absolutely nothing Christian about what you claim there so don't even attempt to drag the Christian God down into this much that is you.

And the proper thing is for her not to make any choices of her own assumed freedom, right?

I am curious. Does this father also demand reparations in the case his male child is disvirgined, according to this tradition to restore respect?

5. My children are better humans because they do not live as caged animals in their formative years..

The mother of this my daughter that am talking about was also a virgin when I met her initially,I was the one who disflowered her and I also did as their tradition demands and we are now husband and wife today. So that is the same way I have planned for my daughter too, is that a bad plan?.

Who owns the virginity ?

Is keeping of virginity a reward for upkeep by a parent?/

Donjuan77:
The mother of this my daughter that am talking about was also a virgin when I met her initially,I was the one who disflowered her and I also did as their tradition demands and we are now husband and wife today. So that is the same way I have planned for my daughter too, is that a bad plan?.

Was your wife the one who also deflowered you or are you here to instead pump your chest on how women are nothing but slave elements to you?