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Should I get married or start my building project? - Family - Nairaland

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Should I get married or start my building project? by UOBEN(m): 6:55pm On Mar 25
Good evening my fellow nairalanders,

Please I would like you all to advise me on the decision I'm about to make, and I will be very brief.

Ever since I graduated from School in 2018, I have been trying my best, and God has been helping me in all that I do. Ever since I was a kid I have never believed that I need to travel overseas to make it in life. I have been able to save up 17 million naira cause I do a lot of hustling to make money, I have been able to purchase two plots of land. I wanted to start my building project by October this year, but my fiancée told me we should get married first and build together. We have been dating for 6 months now, initially, we broke up when I got admission cause she said she could not stand the distance. Late last year she called me that she could not find a man that could make her happy, that she wants us to continue and ever since we started dating she has been supportive, she works in a microfinance bank, she has a baking shop also, every month she gives me 25,000 to support the expenses in the house, she doesn't even know I have such savings I just told her I want to start my building gradually. I'm 26, while she is 20. Should we get married or should I start the project I have in mind. Please I need advice from you all, Thank you.

Abeg make una no mind my use words ooo,,am not perfect and nah my first post be this..
Re: Should I get married or start my building project? by Candidlady(f): 7:03pm On Mar 25
sad

You better build your house! Marriage can wait! Why are you guys so in a hurry


Zonefree come and chuck mouth for this matter

6 Likes

Re: Should I get married or start my building project? by rickpat(m): 7:11pm On Mar 25
UOBEN:
Good evening my fellow nairalanders,

Please I would like you all to advise me on the decision I'm about to make, and I will be very brief.

Ever since I graduated from School in 2018, I have been trying my best, and God has been helping me in all that I do. Ever since I was a kid I have never believed that I need to travel overseas to make it in life. I have been able to save up 17 million naira cause I do a lot of hustling to make money, I have been able to purchase two plots of land. I wanted to start my building project by October this year, but my fiancée told me we should get married first and build together. We have been dating for 6 months now, initially, we broke up when I got admission cause she said she could not stand the distance. Late last year she called me that she could not find a man that could make her happy, that she wants us to continue and ever since we started dating she has been supportive, she works in a microfinance bank, she has a baking shop also, every month she gives me 25,000 to support the expenses in the house, she doesn't even know I have such savings I just told her I want to start my building gradually. I'm 26, while she is 20. Should we get married or should start the project I have in mind. Please I need advice from you all, Thank you.

Abeg make una no mind my use words ooo,,am not perfect and nah my first post be this..
bro don't marry cus you are not ready mentally...cus if you are ready you won't ask this question... marriage doesn't stop one from building a house...more than 95% of people that married early like 25 to 27years didn't have a house...they built after marriage...you ain't ready...calm yourself and the girl down...I hope you understand

6 Likes

Re: Should I get married or start my building project? by kelechiodo(m): 7:13pm On Mar 25
From experience, building is a long term investment that takes years to complete, consumes time and resources. If you are actually ready, I'll advise you to marry and then raise the structure slowly and steadily. My fear is the girl's age and short term dating.

1 Like

Re: Should I get married or start my building project? by UOBEN(m): 7:13pm On Mar 25
rickpat:
bro don't marry cus you are not ready mentally...cus if you are ready you won't ask this question... marriage doesn't stop one from building a house...more than 95% of people that married early like 25 to 27years didn't have a house...they built after marriage...you ain't ready...calm yourself and the girl down...I hope you understand
Thank you so much.
Re: Should I get married or start my building project? by Candidlady(f): 7:24pm On Mar 25
rickpat:
bro don't marry cus you are not ready mentally...cus if you are ready you won't ask this question... marriage doesn't stop one from building a house...more than 95% of people that married early like 25 to 27years didn't have a house...they built after marriage...you ain't ready...calm yourself and the girl down...I hope you understand


So should he build the house?
Re: Should I get married or start my building project? by yuping(m): 7:26pm On Mar 25
undecided hmmmm ok
Re: Should I get married or start my building project? by rickpat(m): 7:27pm On Mar 25
Candidlady:



So should he build his house?
yes ofcourse..my point is if he is mentally ready to get married...the wife/marriage can't stop him from building the house...he wan use 17million marry?..NO...once the girl is a good girl..it will be a big plus for him...but him asking this means he is not ready at all

1 Like

Re: Should I get married or start my building project? by centilad(m): 7:36pm On Mar 25
Build

- Your mental health
- Your emotions - the heart "esp of a young.." is very desperate
- Your immediate family to the strength God gives you - siblings, mother.. so you have your own solid foundation to start your own family
- Your house Bros. Build Your House. Wedding na 6mnths things (+honeymoon), before pregnancy, child(ren).. matter entr

As long as it's with good plan, survey, design, quality materials, well ventilated.. Whether abestos roof, aluminum or zinc its a house. It doesn't need all the solar, inverter, mikano, security cameras, smart lock.. before you move in abeg

Marry when you're matured up in the head. No be by pocket resources.
UOBEN:
Good evening my fellow nairalanders,

Please I would like you all to advise me on the decision I'm about to make, and I will be very brief.

Ever since I graduated from School in 2018, I have been trying my best, and God has been helping me in all that I do. Ever since I was a kid I have never believed that I need to travel overseas to make it in life. I have been able to save up 17 million naira cause I do a lot of hustling to make money, I have been able to purchase two plots of land. I wanted to start my building project by October this year, but my fiancée told me we should get married first and build together. We have been dating for 6 months now, initially, we broke up when I got admission cause she said she could not stand the distance. Late last year she called me that she could not find a man that could make her happy, that she wants us to continue and ever since we started dating she has been supportive, she works in a microfinance bank, she has a baking shop also, every month she gives me 25,000 to support the expenses in the house, she doesn't even know I have such savings I just told her I want to start my building gradually. I'm 26, while she is 20. Should we get married or should I start the project I have in mind. Please I need advice from you all, Thank you.

Abeg make una no mind my use words ooo,,am not perfect and nah my first post be this..

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Should I get married or start my building project? by Candidlady(f): 7:52pm On Mar 25
rickpat:
yes ofcourse..my point is if he is mentally ready to get married...the wife/marriage can't stop him from building the house...he wan use 17million marry?..NO...once the girl is a good girl..it will be a big plus for him...but him asking this means he is not ready at all

Well said! Marriage ain't even something one should rush into!

1 Like

Re: Should I get married or start my building project? by Samfloxin(m): 7:52pm On Mar 25
Build that house to decking or roofing level ( depending on how much you have) and then marry. As far as you have put something on the ground,you will never rest until you finish it. If you are financially bouyant ,don't allow your woman to contribute to building your house,do it alone INCASE OF ....

1 Like

Re: Should I get married or start my building project? by rickpat(m): 7:55pm On Mar 25
Candidlady:


Well said! Marriage ain't even something one should rush into!
exactly....

how are doing today BTW?..

let super eagles make us happy tonight o
Re: Should I get married or start my building project? by Candidlady(f): 7:58pm On Mar 25
rickpat:
exactly....

how are doing today BTW?..

let super eagles make us happy tonight o

Iam doing fine thank you! Hope you are enjoying your TGIF! Ihave a feeling that the game will end draw .. 9ja can so disappoint
Re: Should I get married or start my building project? by Legendforte(m): 7:58pm On Mar 25
Build your house and continue other investment. Marriage shouldn't be topmost priority.

1 Like

Re: Should I get married or start my building project? by rickpat(m): 8:02pm On Mar 25
Candidlady:


Iam doing fine thank you! Hope you are enjoying your TGIF! Ihave a feeling that the game will end draw .. 9ja can so disappoint
glad you are doing fine...

yeah... enjoying the Friday


it's a win or draw... NIGERIA won't lose

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Should I get married or start my building project? by Yamiriflathead: 8:07pm On Mar 25
Marriage is the last investment one should key into in this time and age of austerity.
And please when considering marriage ensure you're not investing into a tokunbo AKA second hand car/olosho that has spent her prime years hoeing around and ready to settle down with any unsuspecting maga.
Make sure you marry tear rubber with good character.
Have standards and vet her very well for having spent the most part of your life investing in yourself and building you SMV.
You deserve the best bruv
Re: Should I get married or start my building project? by Beremx(f): 8:08pm On Mar 25
How much is it going to cost you to get married? Definitely not another 17millon naira. Except you are planning for an elaborate wedding. If you and your have a steady inflow of income, then you can get married and continue your building project

1 Like

Re: Should I get married or start my building project? by Cardealer2021(m): 8:18pm On Mar 25
OP different strokes for different folks
Marry if you choose to
Marriage cannot stop you for building a house instead it will motivate you to build one
17m undecided you can choose to be baby daddy and get your freedom to the fullest (quite expensive)
Or you get married and be committed to one woman (life sentence)

NOTE: listen to my advice at your own peril

Re: Should I get married or start my building project? by Cardealer2021(m): 8:20pm On Mar 25
rickpat:
bro don't marry cus you are not ready mentally...cus if you are ready you won't ask this question... marriage doesn't stop one from building a house...more than 95% of people that married early like 25 to 27years didn't have a house...they built after marriage...you ain't ready...calm yourself and the girl down...I hope you understand
Bro age is not a factor in marriage I had a friend who married at the age of 21 (shocking) way back in school and he doing fine with two kids now
His own scenario is like just the one of the op the guy made big money at 200l he had to drop out to start a family with his pregnant girlfriend
Re: Should I get married or start my building project? by NoToPile: 8:37pm On Mar 25
Nothing wrong in getting married as long as you are emotionally, physiologically mature for marriage, you guys seem to have some flow of income (both you and fiancee).

Nothing stops you from building your house and getting married concurently, as long as the funds to build the house is available simple traditional stuff and registry just simple that's all and you guys begin your life.

So are you mature for marriage, it's not about age, if you are no wahala ride on.

You guys will get married early and grow together, it's lack of funds that makes a lot of people marry late.

2 Likes

Re: Should I get married or start my building project? by rickpat(m): 8:41pm On Mar 25
Cardealer2021:

Bro age is not a factor in marriage I had a friend who married at the age of 21 (shocking) way back in school and he doing fine with two kids now
His own scenario is like just the one of the op the guy made big money at 200l he had to drop out to start a family with his pregnant girlfriend
I didn't mention age..I said mentally ready...try to read and understand well... mentally ready has nothing to do with his age

2 Likes

Re: Should I get married or start my building project? by talk2hb1(m): 9:36pm On Mar 25
UOBEN:
Good evening my fellow nairalanders,

Please I would like you all to advise me on the decision I'm about to make, and I will be very brief.

Ever since I graduated from School in 2018, I have been trying my best, and God has been helping me in all that I do. Ever since I was a kid I have never believed that I need to travel overseas to make it in life. I have been able to save up 17 million naira cause I do a lot of hustling to make money, I have been able to purchase two plots of land. I wanted to start my building project by October this year, but my fiancée told me we should get married first and build together. We have been dating for 6 months now, initially, we broke up when I got admission cause she said she could not stand the distance. Late last year she called me that she could not find a man that could make her happy, that she wants us to continue and ever since we started dating she has been supportive, she works in a microfinance bank, she has a baking shop also, every month she gives me 25,000 to support the expenses in the house, she doesn't even know I have such savings I just told her I want to start my building gradually. I'm 26, while she is 20. Should we get married or should I start the project I have in mind. Please I need advice from you all, Thank you.

Abeg make una no mind my use words ooo,,am not perfect and nah my first post be this..
Build Your House Bro, Marriage can come later.
Pikin Wey No Get Helper Supposed Get Brain.

1 Like

Re: Should I get married or start my building project? by ThaThinka: 9:59pm On Mar 25
17 milla! shocked Where una dey see this money?

1 Like

Re: Should I get married or start my building project? by ibechris(m): 11:22pm On Mar 25
1. Do not build a house yet if its not for rent.

2. Do not marry yet because u guys are way too young .
3. Rather invest the funds and use the proceeds to start the house gradually until it gets to completion.

4. Any house u live in,that does not bring in rent is not an asset by implication but a liability because it takes away money from u. (Maintenance wise).

5. Finally, i must commend u for your doggedness and ability to make this sum at very young age. Keep it up and may God bless u more.

2 Likes

Re: Should I get married or start my building project? by Rubbiish(m): 3:04am On Mar 26
ibechris:
1. Do not build a house yet if its not for rent.

2. Do not marry yet because u guys are way too young .
3. Rather invest the funds and use the proceeds to start the house gradually until it gets to completion.

4. Any house u live in,that does not bring in rent is not an asset by implication but a liability because it takes away money from u. (Maintenance wise).

5. Finally, i must commend u for your doggedness and ability to make this sum at very young age. Keep it up and may God bless u more.
The bold is very wrong!
If u are living here in the city & paying btw 800k to 3m for house rent, u will know the importance of having a house. Most especially when u have a family. The peace of mind that comes with living in one's own house is incomparable.
Re: Should I get married or start my building project? by baby124: 3:36am On Mar 26
Please leave that 20yr old. Let her finish school, serve and get a job. She’s looking for husband without graduation or job. She’s probably running from something at home or lazy and wants to enter where soft. She will immediately get pregnant and not be able to contribute anywhere h but debts on your head. Give yourself 3-5yrs. In that time, hustle, build a 2/bed, 4 flats. 2 of those if you can. Live in one flat and rent the rest out. You can build in phases, till complete.

Grow your business and enjoy being single responsibly with protection. No sex without protection till you have found someone mature enough to work with you truly and, you are both married. Let that 20yr old go and build herself. Release her.

1 Like

Re: Should I get married or start my building project? by cococandy(f): 3:49am On Mar 26
Your girl sounds like a good girl but young

1) stop taking her money please. Thank you!

2) you can get engaged for now. Build the relationship while you build your portfolio

3) encourage her to invest in herself too. So that she doesn’t spend her youth investing in you and then 5-10 years later, you leave her in the mud for someone else.

I always feel like whenever guys make a thread about their relationship issues, it’s usually the girls that need advice but they are not the ones online seeking help. Someone needs to be advising that baby girl at that her young age. Imagine giving a man monthly pocket money. She needs to be reinvesting it in whatever is giving her the profit and planning for life after college. You guys can keep dating

3 Likes

Re: Should I get married or start my building project? by UOBEN(m): 3:51am On Mar 26
baby124:
Please leave that 20yr old. Let her finish school, serve and get a job. She’s looking for husband without graduation or job. She’s probably running from something at home or lazy and wants to enter where soft. She will immediately get pregnant and not be able to contribute anywhere h but debts on your head. Give yourself 3-5yrs. In that time, hustle, build a 2/bed, 4 flats. 2 of those if you can. Live in one flat and rent the rest out. You can build in phases, till complete.

Grow your business and enjoy being single responsibly with protection. No sex without protection till you have found someone mature enough to work with you truly and, you are both married. Let that 20yr old go and build herself. Release her.
She has graduated already, but has not served yet. She works in microfinance bank, she also has a baking shop, with 5 girls working for her.
Re: Should I get married or start my building project? by cococandy(f): 3:56am On Mar 26
UOBEN:
She has graduated already, but has not served yet. She works in microfinance bank, she also has a baking shop, with 5 girls working for her.
that’s a focused young lady

1 Like

Re: Should I get married or start my building project? by UOBEN(m): 3:57am On Mar 26
cococandy:
Your girl sounds like a good girl but young

1) stop taking her money please. Thank you!

2) you can get engaged for now. Build the relationship while you build your portfolio

3) encourage her to invest in herself too. So that she doesn’t spend her youth investing in you and then 5-10 years later, you leave her in the mud for someone else.

I always feel like whenever guys make a thread about their relationship issues, it’s usually the girls that need advice but they are not the ones online seeking help. Someone needs to be advising that baby girl at that her young age. Imagine giving a man monthly pocket money. She needs to be reinvesting it in whatever is giving her the profit and planning for life after college. You guys can keep dating
I have told her to stop giving me any money, once it's month end, she will buy the things lacking in the house without even telling me. What ever I want to do, she will like to contribute her own share.

1 Like

Re: Should I get married or start my building project? by UOBEN(m): 4:01am On Mar 26
cococandy:
that’s a focused young lady
The second land I bought late last year, she pushed me to buy it, I wanted getting a small Lexus that period, she insisted I buy a land, she said me getting a car was not necessary for me cause it will increase our expenditure.

1 Like

Re: Should I get married or start my building project? by cococandy(f): 4:34am On Mar 26
UOBEN:
I have told her to stop giving me any money, once it's month end, she will buy the things lacking in the house without even telling me. What ever I want to do, she will like to contribute her own share.
UOBEN:
The second land I bought late last year, she pushed me to buy it, I wanted getting a small Lexus that period, she insisted I buy a land, she said me getting a car was not necessary for me cause it will increase our expenditure.

Well you already know what you have. I don’t know why you’re here seeking advice. Seems like you should be jumping through hoops to secure her. She’s not the type of person to ask you to spend all your saving on an elaborate wedding.
Time does fly so she won’t be 20 forever and the age gap between you guys isn’t too much. In a couple of years and if she’s still in love with you, I don’t know what you’d be waiting for.

Congratulations

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