If a woman goes to college or graduate school over 5 hours away from home and leaves her children with her husband with the plan of seeing them about once a month, is that okay? I have an in-law who is in this situation. She wanted to go with the best program possible and thinks the 4 years sacrifice will be worth it. Her children are 4 and 7 years old. Her best friend is also doing the same thing, which has me wondering if that's influencing her. She plans on having her aunt or mother move in with her husband and kids to help out.

Is it okay for a woman to leave her family to go to graduate school or college? Is she still a good mother and wife? Is the sacifice worth it? What would you say if you had a relative or friend considering this option? Also, what about the marriage? I keep thinking if her marriage falls apart, her husband could get the kids. I just don't feel good about this at all. Her husband is totally against moving and he at first was against her going away.

As long as the kids are not babies why not?

Why not? Well, for 4 years, she will barely be there for her children. And there's no telling what will happen to her marriage.

Is her husband still against it? If he is what are his reasons? What is she going to study that cannot be studied in a local university? Honestly if she is 5 hours a way then she should be able to see her kids almost every week.

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A degree is always useful. But four years ?! Imagine, when she gets back her oldest will almost be a teenager! And it is also not a grat idea for her relationship with her husband. Is she going to have a lot of courses to follow? Maybe she can spend 3 days a week over there and the last 4 days at home, that could be manageable. But how about her, doesn't she feel bad about not seeing her kids growing on a daily basis? Why her husband doesn't want to move with her? I kind of have the feeling that their marriage is not going fine and that she's using this college as a way to put distance between her husband and her,

Miss_Ife:

A degree is always useful. But four years ?! Imagine, when she gets back her oldest will almost be a teenager! And it is also not a grat idea for her relationship with her husband. Is she going to have a lot of courses to follow? Maybe she can spend 3 days a week over there and the last 4 days at home, that could be manageable. But how about her, doesn't she feel bad about not seeing her kids growing on a daily basis? Why her husband doesn't want to move with her? I kind of have the feeling that their marriage is not going fine and that she's using this college as a way to put distance between her husband and her,

Her husband has no desire to move at all. You are right. That would make sense. I agree. It looks like she's trying to get away from her husband. I wouldn't be surprised if after she gets the degree, she suddenly gets a good job and doesn't move back.

Outstrip:

Is her husband still against it? If he is what are his reasons? What is she going to study that cannot be studied in a local university? Honestly if she is 5 hours a way then she should be able to see her kids almost every week.

The strangest part in all this is the part about just seeing her husband and kids once a month. I've know other people who took turns seeing each other every two weeks. But to start at once a month? She's now saying she'll be home on breaks, but still she's going to be missing a lot. If a man said the same thing, most people would wonder if he was up to something. She said the local university programs were just average and she wanted something better. Her husband was against it because he wanted her to go to a local university but she stood her ground and now says he's come aound. I think he backed down because he wants her to be happy but it does seem odd that he wouldn't even see if moving could be an option. It's as if they've skipped some steps or something.

See your kids just once a month??

I cant agree to this sorry. There are several things needed by children that ONLY the mother can provide. . .

This isn't encouraging at all, her 2 children are less than ten.
She can go study wheneva she wants, her family comes first, until her children are at least up to ten, she needs to give 'em undivided attention.

If getting a degree was her topmost priority why get married and make babies immediately as well

I don't subscribe to the idea at all,her kids need her most now,surely she can move to a college closer home or wait a few more years.