Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,156,225 members, 7,829,377 topics. Date: Thursday, 16 May 2024 at 05:41 AM

Should He Tell His Dad? - Family - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Should He Tell His Dad? (1032 Views)

Photo: Please Help Rob Mamuda Find His Dad. / Should We Tell His Father About His HIV Status? / "Pls Help this man – "How should he tell his Wife That he his HIV Positive?" (2) (3) (4)

(1) (Reply) (Go Down)

Should He Tell His Dad? by amdman: 7:50am On Jul 19, 2011
My friend's elder brother came from the US recently having been gone for like 3yrs. The brother went to Kaduna for 2 weeks, spent another week at Lokoja (where the parents reside) but did not go home. He has made his siblings promise not to tell his parents that he came to the country ostensibly because he doesn't have enough money to spend.

Over the weekend he breezed into Lagos with his wife to spend a week in my friend's house. Now, my friend is in a fix whether to tell his dad because the dad will eventually find out and that would not augur well for thier present close relationship.

What do you think?
Re: Should He Tell His Dad? by ULSHERLAN(m): 8:40am On Jul 19, 2011
if his own siblings didnt tell,who is ur frnd to tell

1 Like

Re: Should He Tell His Dad? by Nobody: 10:10am On Jul 19, 2011
ULSHERLAN:

if his own siblings didnt tell,who is your frnd to tell

That's my thinking too.
Re: Should He Tell His Dad? by doctokwus: 10:33am On Jul 19, 2011
And how is he sure dat a dxtant relation or family friend hasn't seen him and wud innocently go and tell the parents,is d wife in on dis 2.Imagine hiding ur presence from ur parents because of mony,y come down @all if u know u can't evn gv ur parents sth.He shd b adviced 2 visit dem and gv d little he has,some parents are jst nterested in seeing dere kids,its not all about mony,eventhough dey may need it.Mr Yankee,welcome
Re: Should He Tell His Dad? by amdman: 2:34pm On Jul 19, 2011
Siena:

That's my thinking too.

It is the sibling that is confused whether to tell the dad. Would it be the right thing to do?
doctokwus:

And how is he sure dat a dxtant relation or family friend hasn't seen him and wud innocently go and tell the parents,is d wife in on dis 2.Imagine hiding your presence from your parents because of mony,y come down @all if u know u can't evn gv your parents sth.He shd b adviced 2 visit dem and gv d little he has,some parents are jst nterested in seeing dere kids,its not all about mony,eventhough dey may need it.Mr Yankee,welcome

His friends and some relatives in US and Naija are aware he is around, making it obvious that somehow sometime, his parents will eventually find out. And when that happens, all those that knew and kept the information from the parents are not going to look good.
Re: Should He Tell His Dad? by N101: 2:44pm On Jul 19, 2011
This is sad, to think that someone isn't seeing their parents because of money.  Are his parents so self-absorbed and interested in his money that he has to behave like this, or is this just how he thinks?  Is that what relationships and family have come to in Nigeria?

Well I with them good luck but the fall out won't be nice. Me, money or no money I have to see my parents - to do otherwise is simply selfish.
Re: Should He Tell His Dad? by amdman: 4:09pm On Jul 19, 2011
I think its just the guy cos I know the parents and they are not that into money. All their kids are grown up now and they just do charity stuff and the like.

And to think that this guy used to insult those that live abroad and dont send money home, boasting that when he gets there, things are going to be different. Its been 3yrs since he got there and his folks are yet to smell the roses.
Re: Should He Tell His Dad? by damipaul(m): 6:49pm On Jul 19, 2011
i think your friend needs to advise him to go and see his parents. I know the subject is worried about his self esteem. You guys need to talk him out of it
Re: Should He Tell His Dad? by Smilenw(f): 8:36pm On Jul 19, 2011
Mybe the man can call up hos parents n say he is in town for some urgent work/training and will have to be around , bu t will try to visit the folks once he is free, else will make up for this the next time he visits.
Re: Should He Tell His Dad? by Ivynwa(f): 2:10am On Jul 20, 2011
Unbelievable, he visited the city his parents even reside and left without seeing them just because he has no money to spend.
Re: Should He Tell His Dad? by Ivynwa(f): 2:27am On Jul 20, 2011
3 Years gone and he isn't missing his parents enough to want to see them, hug them, peck them and spend time with them? Are such special times we spend with our parents not worth more than money?

I am sorry for that person because should anything happen to his parents before he gets the time again to travel down and spend time with them he may regret that action of his all the days of his life. I ain't wishing him to get bereaved though, somebody should advise him to go be with his parents before returning to the US. He can always send them the money whenever he saves some on returning to his place of residence.

Anyway there seems to be more to this than met the eye. What Money? Nigerian youths that live abroad when coming home worry about "not having enough money" to buy expensive cars and show off to friends and peers that they live abroad. I am yet to see a person whose worry about not having enough money on returning home is his parents of all people.
Re: Should He Tell His Dad? by Nobody: 3:53am On Jul 20, 2011
It's not his place to tell.
Re: Should He Tell His Dad? by OAM4J: 5:07am On Jul 20, 2011
N101:

This is sad, to think that someone isn't seeing their parents because of money.  Are his parents so self-absorbed and interested in his money that he has to behave like this, or is this just how he thinks?  Is that what relationships and family have come to in Nigeria?

Well I wish them good luck but the fall out won't be nice. Me, money or no money I have to see my parents - to do otherwise is simply selfish. 

+1


Well OP, I still think it is not in your place to tell. It is easier to clear yourself if/when the parent eventually find out. The guilty one is the son and not his friends.
Re: Should He Tell His Dad? by obowunmi(m): 9:59am On Jul 20, 2011
Let the card fall where they may. The issue is not about him visiting his parents --- its about his parents broadcasting his arrival to the whole world. Cousins, nephews, uncles, aunts - and such who want a piece of the pie when there's nothing there. Some parents can't keep their mouth shut --- and some children don't have the time. My mom is an announcer too --- wouldn't tell her I was coming either.
Re: Should He Tell His Dad? by iice(f): 4:03pm On Jul 20, 2011
^^lol i know! Some family members can trying. . .not necessarily parents but the extended ones. And it's hard if you can't tell your parents that this not right or you don't want this. There was a time my mother used to the announcing thing. . .for one special occasion like that, she wasnt alerted till the last minute, so no time for her to do anything grin But we had a talk with them and it's been good since.

I think the guy should do surprise visit. . .
Should he tell? Depends on his relationship with his sibling and on the relationship between parents and children.

(1) (Reply)

My Husband Is Having Ex Issues! / Joint Account For Couples …are Two Really One? / My Husband Married Me To Make Money

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 27
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.