Spanking is good only when it is necessary. I understand, for some kidz, thats the only way they'll change for the better. Some father or mother are just too cruel, that they don't know when and how to apply it. There is spanking, and there is abuse. There was a story couple of months ago about a Nigerian-born professor at the Alcorn State University, Mississippi Festus Oguhebe. This man allegedly was accused of abusing his 11-year-old son by placing him in a bathtub, putting hot pepper in his eyes, on his penis and buttocks. He was also said to have tied the boy’s hands behind his back and covered his body with ants. He punished his children for offences such as incomplete school work and attempting to steal food in their home during forced fasts. [b]WHY, WHY, WHY.[/b]This kind of abuse will definately have an adverse effect on this child later on in life. Some of this kidz, after going through all these abuse tend to not have their own voice, anti social, fear of public speaking,

at what age does a child knows the difference btw good and bad?

THERE'S NOTHING WRONG IN SPANKING OR SLAPPING YOUR KIDS. IT ALL DEPENDS ON A WHOLE LOT OF RANGE OF FACTORS.

HOWEVER, DON'T DO IT OFTEN, OTHERWISE IT LOSES ITS EFFECTS.

A child know the difference between good and bad when he know the difference between egg and fire. Between pepper and palp. From then onward, parents must keep close tab on him. Though not necesarily beat him. They must begin to point out to him the acceptable and the unacceptable. That is important.

Children brains are just like empty tapes. They recorded most of the thing the sees, hear etc at that age but may not act it.

They start acting those thing, first as a trial. Later they make it part of them. If nobody correct then earlier on, they assume it is fair and go ahead to make it their own habit. That is why I don't always blame spoilt brats. I blame whoever brought them up for giving them wrong programming early in their life.

dont intend to spank my kids or yell at them. i have an eight month old. i handle her with kid gloves. children are not wild animals that dont heed you or take directions. live by example and half your work is done already.

thanks alot

to discipline a child is not all about beating or spanking but the Bible say spare the rod and spoil the child that is to tell u there are some things a child needs to be spanked for.then children need to be understood as their trainer then u will be able to use the right corrective measure to correct each child. some children just need u to talk to them and that corrects them but it doesnt work with some other children they need to be beaten before they get corrected. its all about knowing the kind of child u have and u urself have to be good example of which they will emulate but then they will err but really children need to be properly handled. some kids get beaten and it toughens them the more to be bad so, caution has to be taken and the best way to bring uo a child is in the way of the Lord and the Bible say he or she will not depart from it. also as parents pray for ur kids and ask God constantly for the wisdom to bring them up in the way of the Lord. thank God for our parents that brought us up they did a good job and they are proud of us today.

My god people am getting so angry that most of u believe that the only way u can bring your child up is by beating and spanking.What u people don't believe in talking and explaining things to your child when he or she is doing something wrong,

Well if u have to beat your child in order for them to listen to u that means u did something wrong.Cause a child learns things from their parents.What i also see is that allot of parents don't take the time to explain why the child is not suppose to do certain things.

I have 1 daughter and i never beat or slap her and she never embarrass me in public.Just take the time to talk to your children and do it at home not on the streets as i see ofthen.

Every person who hits another is just weak with words.

Children sometimes are quite naughty and need discipline but not to the extent of slapping an under aged.

I do beat mine sometime with a slap at the buttom and talk to her notto repeat such. I believe the habit of slapping and chronic beating should be discouraged.

a lot of people write their personal experiences here so we can learn from it. i notice people who were spanked as kids feel they are all the better for it today. and also ill mannered and indiscipline children are like that cos they were never spanked.

is there anyone out there who was spanked as a kid and feels he turned out bad becos of it, please speak up; if not lets all agree that spanking is good qed

spoilt:

don't intend to spank my kids or yell at them. i have an eight month old. i handle her with kid gloves. children are not wild animals that don't heed you or take directions. live by example and half your work is done already.

You're quite right.

@ topic; that's child abuse. How can someone spank babies. That's just so uncalled for.

I notice a lot of people abroad tend to run themselves ragged working multiple jobs, barely spending any time at home with their kids ( or too tired to do so)  and then blame the system when the kids turn out anyhow.

it's not child abuse, and I won't feel guilty.
when the occasion calls for it, i will beat the living daylights out of those children like my mama did me.
20 minutes later I will have a be-a-good-boy talk with him about controlling his behavior and give him a snack.

Sometimes when severe beating is too much; it gets to the extent of creating problem later on in the future. Part of its adverse effect reflects on people's shyness, fear of public speaking. This problem has been instilled in you right from the beginning, that it becomes part of you or you. I believe some of the reason why this happen is because this kidz were not given the opportunity to voice out their opinion when they want to. In Nigeria, we are accustom to the environment where people (the whole family) raise your kid for you. Sometimes the beating might not transfer from our parents, it might come from neighbor, family friends, cousin , you know uncle Wale whom you are so scared of,  makes your life so miserable in the abscence of mom and dad and you are not allow to tell them or anybody. You get to find this out when you are in a class project (Design) of group of four or five, most of the students are Americans and you are the only African among them. You pretty much lead the project, delegate everybody's task. Most of these people don't even know what they are doing, you have to come to their rescue in getting the project ready for presentation. On the day of presentation and it is time to introduce your peers and talk about your work; and your heart jumped into your mouth, you start shivering, people can feel your nervousness from 20 miles away. On the hand, your peers whom you helped (Americans) find it so easy to relate and move on with their presentation. Thats when you realize what is going on, and understand you have a lot of work to do to improve.

If beatings worked, Nigeria ought not to be in the state she's in today, because most Nigerians believe so much in the saying "spare the rod and spoil the child".

IMO.

however, different strokes for different folks. there are plenty of other, acceptable ways to discipline a child. beating isnt the only one.

Na wah oh!!! 6 months is too young, but from 3year - the beating no go easy!!!

I know an Igbo woman who has two children. One is 1 year old and the other is 3 years old. She started whipping her youngest child when she was 6 months old. She says she didn't mean too, but cites religious beliefs and culture to support what she's doing. When her baby was 12 months, she slapped her. That was when I told her I didn't agree with what she was doing. I am against spanking children, but I do understand there are people who do that. What I can never accept is someone spanking a child under 2 and it's usually over the slightest infractions. I'm also against people who literally beat a chlid. So my question is do most Nigerians believe in whipping their children? What's your take on this?

you would not have dropped dead if you just told us the woman was Nigerian or you have another subtle  point to raise?
The woman is sick.Babies need care and nurture not koboko.

NaJa,

I agree. This woman's using her culture and Christianity as an excuse for doing something that's wrong. In almost every culture, babies are cherished. They have little control over what they do and like you said a baby doesn't know right from wrong. She's unable to get the "lesson" from being whipped. I'm not understanding where all this rage is coming from her. She's got issues!

If you actually ever thought there was a culture that'll condone hitting a 6 month old then you need to follow that Igbo woman to see psychia.
I wonder the cultures that don't cherish babies.

_{this people sef}

babyosisi:



you would not have dropped dead if you just told us the woman was Nigerian or you have another subtle point to raise?

i tire oh. i had the same thought but i was going to let it go.

there is a difference between flogging a kid unnecessary and discipline. I have a three year old boy and I instil strict discipline into him, who born am?

Have all of you thought about this deeply? If hitting or beating a child is a good form of discipline, how come Nigeria is still one of the most corrupt countries in the world? In my secondary school, the nigerians were the ones that were the most unruly and undisciplined and I knew that their parents beat them. I went to a British School and there were only 20 blacks (17 of which were Nigerians) amongst 2000 students and yet we were the worst in the school. I believe there are better ways of discipling a child without beating them.

whipping , slapping, what else, anything , everything, anything that wil dirve the madness away, use it , dont mind the american crap , "sweetie , darling , beat da hell out of them "

the little love 2 refuse 2 show ur children, the big world will show them.
Beating a child is not good.even at that, when u whip the child, called the child later 2 talk 2 him or her giving the child reasons why u did that. that was how my dad brought us up

i have a niece no matter the beating, she do thesame thing say that afterall' my parents will only beat me" it is not more than beating and she goes on doing the wrong thing. she is just 5years.

the little love 2 refuse 2 show your children, the big world will show them.

I'm not sure I get this

THERE IS A BIG DIFFERENCE BTW SPANKING/BEATING AND PHYSICAL ABUSE.

THE MAIN PROBLEM THESE DAYS IS THAT MANY PEOPLE, HAVING GONE THRU CERTAIN EXPERIENCES THAT WERE NOT PARTICULARLY ROSY, AND ARE BETTER OFF TODAY, DO NOT REALISE THAT PASSING THRU THOSE KIND OF HARD EXPERIENCES/TIMES ACTUALLY CRYSTALISED THEM INTO THE KIND OF RESPONSIBLE PEOPLE THEY ARE TODAY. INSTEAD, THEY WANT (SOME EVEN VOW) TO ENSURE THAT THEIR CHILDREN NEVER GET THOSE KINDS OF EXPERIENCES, AND END UP PRODUCING WORSE GENERATION OF HUMANS (MORALLY, SOCIALLY, PSYCHOLOGICALLY AND IN OTHER WAYS) IT IS COMMON KNOWLEDGE TO ALL THAT HUMAN BEHAVIOURAL STANDARDS GETS WORSE WITH EACH SUCEEDING GENERATION!

PHYSICAL DISCIPLINE IS AN INTEGRAL PART OF TOTAL DISCIPLINE WE OUGHT, AND WHICH EVEN THE BIBLE EXPECTS US, TO ADMINISTER TO OUR CHILDEREN. ONLY THAT IT, AS IN ANY OTHER HUMAN ENDEAVOUR, HAS LIMITS. IF YOU OVER-DO IT (JUST LIKE ANY OTHER THING) YOU GET UNPLEASANT RESULTS.

SOMETIMES TOO, OUR PEOPLE WANT TO COPY WESTERN CULTURES UNWHOLESOMELY, SENSELESSLY.

I KNOW A FAMILY HERE IN NAIJA, THE WIFE IS A BLACK AMERICAN WHILE THE MAN (MY FRIEND IS A BENIN MAN) THEIR KIDS WERE BORN IN THE U.S., BUT BROUGHT UP HERE, THE NAIJA WAY (WHICH INCLUDE PHYSICAL BEATINGS WHEN NECESSARY). NOW, THEY ARE TEENAGERS, AND VISIT THE U.S. EACH YEAR. THE WOMAN THANKS GOD FOR NAIJA UPBRINGING THE KIDS HAVE, SAYS HER 2 OTHER SIBBLINGS IN THE U.S. ARE PASTORS, AND EVEN AT THAT, THE DIFFERENCE IS VERY CLEAR IN THEIRS KIDS' UPBRINGING THAT THOSE OTHERS SAY THEY WISH THEY COULD TURN BACK TIME, AND SEND THEIR KIDS TO NIGERIA TO GROW UP IN AND LEARN VIRTUES THAT ARE SO APPARENTLY LACKING IN THEIR LIVES. BY THE WAY THOSE FULL AMREICAN KIDS ARE LIKE SAINTS IN THEIR TOWN (BEING CHILDREN OF MINISTERS OF GOD) COMPARED TO AVERAGE KIDS IN TOWN!

TAKE MY ADVICE: INCLUDE SPANKING IN TRAINING YOUR KIDS, IT PAYS HIGH DIVIDENDS AT LAST.

If all of you advocating spanking think that thats all you have to do in order to raise a perfect child then you have another think coming.
spanking is a last resort. a lot of spanking dished out can be chalked down to misplaced aggression and short tempers. where a stern caution could have sufficed, blows are instead dished out. i personally feel very uncomfortable when im in friends' or relatives' houses and they are torturing their children in the name of the bible and quoting spare the rod spoil the child. often times the child only becomes immune and starts acting out due to resentment. those blows if they really worked would have made nigeria a place of abundance with perfect robots a long time ago!!!

Children are the products of their parents and their immediate society in general.Whipping does not help,rather it inculcates violence into children making them think that violence is a good way of solving problems.A child is bound to be discipline and intelligent if the parents are,they are the carbon copies of their parents,they copy and practice what the adults do,it's by examples that a child learn better not by whipping,although,there are peer pressures and societal influences but the home foundation always supercedes,show me a TRUE honest parents,i will see a honest child.A lion begets lion and a chimp begets chimp.

spanking a child when he/she does a bad thing major is alright but hitting for the smallest reasons is just plain abuse someone said something about police protecting  child ren  thats because the parents were careless hitting their child and leaving bruises mean i'm in the united states n i still get wiped if i do something wrong that don't mean i'll call 911 just for that but fpr wiping a yeah old child thats abuse abeg wettin u go say when they ask u why u did it? thats just plain stupidity the bible says u can wipe a child and something my mum tells me beating won't kill a child n she knows what i'd definately say wipe a child n let  the mothers of all ungodness(aye) kill it for u then u'd know beating can kill

Spanking should not be an ption at all as far as i am concerned. If u cannot bring up a child, dont have one or turn the ones u already have in for foster care! Why on earth should violence be used on anyone let alone a child. For those of u saying that it is the practice in nigeria, Just because a practice is probably age long does not make it right. I was never spanked as a child and i know that i am well behaved!

Thank you! Isn't it ironic how a people in a corrupt and dilapidated society
like Nigeria can imagine themselves to be culturally superior? How is that possible?

@all,check this link out ,i


https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-22794.0.html

It is as simple as = SPARE THE ROD SPOIL THE CHILD. The bible encourages discipline so i see no reason why i shouldn't hit my child when he or she is misbehaving.

There are different ways to get through to different children. You have to choose the the method that works best with your child. You dont want to be brutal nor do you want to be too lenient. But its important not to harden children beyond the reach of a gentle word.

Sometimes when severe beating is too much; it gets to the extent of creating problem later on in the future. Part of its adverse effect reflects on people's shyness, fear of public speaking. This problem has been instilled in you right from the beginning, that it becomes part of you or you. I believe some of the reason why this happen is because this kidz were not given the opportunity to voice out their opinion when they want to.

Me:
Good post! Also some children who were beaten a lot become bullies themselves. As adults, they have hot tempers, which the people closest to them receive the brunt of.

I know Nigerian children who are spanked who are well behaved and others who are some of the baddest kids around. I also know some who aren't spanked at all who are well behaved and vice versa. The bottom line is children will follow by example and there are consequences that don't have to have anything to do with violence. I've heard people say they do it out of love and always have the child's best interests at heart. Honestly, how many parents calmly spank their children without feeling emotions--anger, embarrassment, etc.?