“They must think I am incompetent/selfish/stupid/ugly.”
“If I will say no, they will think I am selfish.”
“Why do I always make such mistakes?”
“Again, I said something so stupid.”
That is some of the negative self-talk going on in the minds of people with low self-esteem. Everyone lacks confidence occasionally, but people with low self-esteem are unhappy or unsatisfied with themselves most of the time.

What Exactly is Low Self-Esteem?
Low self-esteem is feeling insecure and lacking confidence in ourselves. Low self-esteem is, indeed, very common.
Common causes of low self-esteem are usually related to childhood, such as peer rejection in school, an unsupportive family environment, trauma or abuse, wrong perception about how our bodies need to look, unrealistic goals, previous bad choices, and negative thought patterns.

7 WAYS TO ELIMINATE IT.
1. Catch the Negative Stories You Tell Yourself
The first thing to get over a problem is to be aware of it. To change your low self-esteem, you need to be mindful of it and how it manifests in your life. Thoughts are running through your mind all the time, from the moment you wake up until the moment you go to bed,think positive.

2. Realize Those Limiting Stories Are Not True
So whatever you had written down in the previous point, you need to shine light now on those toxic thoughts and beliefs about yourself and the world. You need to realize that it is not a truth; those are lies. Those stories come from negative, traumatic situations that aimed to misconstrue the truth about your existence and value.
Babies don’t have low self-esteem. Low self-esteem comes when we become conscious of ourselves and value ourselves against the information we get from our environment.

3. Forgive Yourself
More often than not, we are the ones adding fire to our low self-esteem by judging ourselves. We let our inner critic roar and believe it above all other voices in our heads. We have the subconscious belief that we need to be perfect to be good enough. Which is far from the truth. Our successes or the lack of them do not determine our value and worth — more about this in the next step.
4. Realize Your Self-Worth
Real confidence comes when you stop basing your self-worth upon external circumstances, such as achievements or lack of them and other people’s opinions. We have the inner value as humans just for who we are, even before experiencing achievements, successes, failures, and mistakes. Boost your self-esteem by using affirmations that build and strengthen your self-worth. Such as “I am worthy,” “I am confident,” “I am valuable,” “I matter,” “People like me,” “I am lovable,” etc.
5. What Are Your Strengths?
Everyone has their weaknesses and their strengths. Embracing your weaknesses instead of being discouraged by them and acknowledging your strengths and gifts and how you can use them is a significant step towards real confidence. Figure what you are good at and what you love to do, and then research or find a mentor that will help you turn your gifts and talents into a career or business you love.

6. Base Your Confidence Upon Controllable
What is not controllable in our lives?
Other people’s opinions, actions, and decisions. Recognition, followers, results, economic situation, pandemic, job loss, sales or the lack of them, etc.

What is controllable in our lives?
Your effort, work ethic, your attitude, self-talk, the way you treat others and respond to them, how many applications you send out for the job, how many people you speak to as potential prospects, how long you continue persisting on the dream you have, self-care, self-love, your choices, and decisions, etc.

7. Take Bold Action
Confidence comes from taking action.
There is a difference between achievements and action. Action is controllable. Achievements are a by-product of taking consistent action. But we can never know when those achievements come. We need to trust that they will come at the right time.
To overcome low self-esteem or lack of confidence, choose controllable actions that build confidence.
Whenever you notice yourself analyzing and overthinking because you feel the need to be perfect, just take action no matter what. Even if it looks lame, and you have the fear inside what others will think about you. Train yourself to stop caring about what others say by taking bold action no matter what. Put yourself in situations where you know that somebody might judge you. You can’t train that “confidence muscle” if you stay in the comfort zone of fear.

TAKEAWAY
How long does it take to build self-esteem? It depends on you and how committed you are to putting these seven steps in your daily routines, being mindful, and practicing them. Not just occasionally when you remember or read them but every day until you get a tangible result.
It depends on how committed you are to let go of the past limiting beliefs that you know don’t serve you and step into the unknown — the new, confident version of yourself. You need to be bold or choose boldness to do that. The choice is entirely in your control.