Please matured Nairalanders I need your help. I’m beyond livid, angry is an understatement this very moment.

I’m currently undergoing my Nysc away from home. I received a message from my sister about my dad beating my mom in the PUBLIC.

Neighbors and all were looking and some were laughing, he bought out her things and my sis said he was pressing her neck and had petrol in his hands (this got me mad)

As it is she is complaining of stomach pains and neck pain after calling my sister. I have sent her money to take my mom to hospital and she said dad has left home to somewhere God knows. I have called my friend to check up on them.

I’m just 22 and have my life to face and now I’m facing this again from home. As it is I need a solution, I’m thinking of renting a place for her and set up a business for her although I don’t fancy separation but at this point I need to take her away from him.

As for him, I don’t want to ever call him, we spoke a day before what he did. I’m looking for how to deal with this situation.

Please mods should take this to front page, I need all the advice I can get, I must deal with this situation, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH

Leave whatever you are doing and get back home..once you get home give him a Stern warning that the next time he beat her you are gonna have him jailed..or you beat him up yourself..

Or you could also help your mom to lay a charge agaist him...Get a restraining order…anything..but get him away from her...aiit..
I guess Nigeria has some law against domestic violence..that should do..

Take your mum away from him before he kills her

Holly Gram SO SORRY MAN..


I for give u ADVISE but u fit no like am..


JAH go see u thru..



LITE UP my WEED in peace


WTF MAN!

Man,

Take your mum away from the man. Most times, the beating attitude is usually induced by alcohol or drugs. But we don't care. I have had some experiences like this. If those men aren't thought the lessons of their lives, they may never get to learn.


Woe to any man who beats his wife in public! Woe to him. You think say dem dey hail you! Woe! If it's sb related to me, after what I'll do to him, to sleep for house go hard am.

Where are your mom's brothers and sisters? I know they have their lives to live but try and get in touch with them. Your mom is not a toddler. Her first family should be able to talk to her. If they have to return the bride price he paid, then leave them to take the lead.

As for you, desist from having a face-off or physical combat with your dad as someone blindly and stupidly suggested here.

Acidosis:
Where are your mom's brothers and sisters? I know they have their lives to live but try and get in touch with them. Your mom is not a toddler. Her first family should be able to talk to her. If they have to return the bride price he paid, then leave them to take the lead.

As for you, desist from having a face-off or physical combat with your dad as someone blindly and stupidly suggested here.

Forget family sir, they won’t be able to do much. I know what i know what I’m saying. She only has me and my sisters.

For now, I don’t know if I can report to any domestic violence agency as this is the north I’m talking about.

As for him, I won’t go into a face off with him. No strength for that, he is too dangerous. But if care is not taken, I will so isolate him. I know his weakness, I just feel helpless cause he is my father but he needs to be tamed and I will do just that.

For now, let me get her well.

Boogyman557:
Holly Gram SO SORRY MAN..


I for give u ADVISE but u fit no like am..


JAH go see u thru..



LITE UP my WEED in peace


WTF MAN!

Holy gram you wan tell am to revenge for Mumsi?
Pass the blunt man....

Op, u stated that u don't fancy separation?
Better tell ur mom to tow the line of divorce if she cherishes her life.
Forget one nonsense unrealistic religious law that says divorce should never happen in a marriage.

The decision to leave is your mom's to make.

DonBenny77:
Holy gram you wan tell am to revenge for Mumsi? Pass the blunt man....

Holly Gram

WTF MAN!

Where are your mums parents? What of her siblings? This issue is more technical than it seems. Don't delve into it. Report the matter to your aunty and uncles, let them be the one to take action. Husband and wife matter dey always get comma.

HarunaWest:
Where are your mums parents? What of her siblings? This issue is more technical than it seems. Don't delve into it. Report the matter to your aunty and uncles, let them be the one to take action. Husband and wife matter dey always get comma.

What kinda weird advice is this tho..
Technical? dumbo you rather watch your dad beat your mum to death Instead of interfering huh?

He should wait fir family members like they ain't gat their own life to live..do you actually think?

See you have only these options 1)get some evidence and send him to jail 2)take your mother away and don't look back 3)leave your mother there with him until he beats her to death

SimpleGuy001:


Forget family sir, they won’t be able to do much. I know what i know what I’m saying. She only has me and my sisters.

For now, I don’t know if I can report to any domestic violence agency as this is the north I’m talking about.

As for him, I won’t go into a face off with him. No strength for that, he is too dangerous. But if care is not taken, I will so isolate him. I know his weakness, I just feel helpless cause he is my father but he needs to be tamed and I will do just that.

For now, let me get her well.

The bolded makes it a bit technical, are you guys from the north or you just live in the north.

Your dad is a weakling

Does he have a job? He must be jobless for him to be beating his wife who already bore matured kids for him.

If it were me, I would have him arrested.....That's the best thing you can do.... Report to the police or army and let them do their thing but tell them not to hurt him though cos no matter what, he's still your father.

Watin your mother do, first thing first I no hear anything concerning your brother or the first son of the family, na only sister, with the economic situation in nigeria a lot of short falls and lacks are in common with men not being able to provide enough for their families and woman cash in on this to challenge the man and become verbally and emotionally abusive , this gets physical as the woman become demons to the men instead of motivation, not all men were built to handle stress

Report your dad to family members. Send him a message with note of subtle warning. Something like this:

Good morning sir! We had to take mum to the hospital after the incidence with you. We met with a doctor who had reported the case to human right activist. The human rights activist had been asking for your number or location, we are yet to give them. Honestly sir, let this be the last time you hit mum, else we will have no other option than to put you in jail through human rights. Have a great day ahead sir!

Did your mother tell you she wants to leave him? If your neighbours look and laugh,it means they are no longer surprised by your dad's action. Marriage is an institution you won't understand until you get into one

Call a meeting with your mum and your other siblings and ask your mum what she wants, the best thing right now is to take your mum away from your dad before he kills her, apart from killing her, your dad beating your mum isn't good for you the children, I once broke up with a guy because I saw his dad beating his mum, I cannot marry into that family, I hope you get my point op.

FERNANDEZISBACK:

What kinda weird advice is this tho..
Technical? dumbo you rather watch your dad beat your mum to death Instead of interfering huh?

He should wait fir family members like they ain't gat their own life to live..do you actually think?

If it was his mum beating his dad to death, will you advice he take his dad away from his mum? Its a double edged sword. Be open minded when thinking. Remove all sentiments and emotions beclouding your judgement. I am very sure you are quite inexperienced that's why you wrote what you did up there. Lemme tell you a short story. A friend of mine once fought his dad because his dad hit his mum. Down the years, this same friend hit his wife during an argument. THINK

NoToPile:


The bolded makes it a bit technical, are you guys from the north or you just live in the north.

We just live there, not northerners.

godofuck231:
Watin your mother do, first thing first I no hear anything concerning your brother or the first son of the family, na only sister, with the economic situation in nigeria a lot of short falls and lacks are in common with men not being able to provide enough for their families and woman cash in on this to challenge the man and become verbally and emotionally abusive , this gets physical as the woman become demons to the men instead of motivation, not all men were built to handle stress

I’m the first born

HarunaWest:
If it was his mum beating his dad to death, will you advice he take his dad away from his mum? Its a double edged sword. Be open minded when thinking. Remove all sentiments and emotions beclouding your judgement. I am very sure you are quite inexperienced that's why you wrote what you did up there. Lemme tell you a short story. A friend of mine once fought his dad because his dad hit his mum. Down the years, this same friend hit his wife during an argument. THINK

Yeah I would advice he take his dad away from his mum if it was the other way round..

Ask your mother if she is okay with moving out of the house, fact is with your dad having petrol with him during the last assault is a pointer your mother will not be alive after the next assault.

SimpleGuy001:


I’m the first born

good learn to reason with facts as a man , women could be manipulative, especially when they know you are emotionally attached to them , this has led to the death of many men and the women still marry someone else or live without the deceased, mind you beating up your mum isn't the beast for him what you need to do is to pay for sessions for your mum to learn how to manage her husband, when he's out of his anger binges he's a nice man , when offended he's a monster , this is because of triggers and escalations of an aggregated mood , you mum should control her words , your dad could have killed her and this wouldn't have been the case , men don't just get up and start beating women , its not normal, something is aggravating his anger , find what it is and her family should teach her how to avert anger melt downs , no go meet the ones when de react without since or una go go back una mama village o

SimpleGuy001:
As it is she is complaining of stomach pains and neck pain after calling my sister. I have sent her money to take my mom to hospital and she said dad has left home to somewhere God knows. I have called my friend to check up on them.

I’m just 22 and have my life to face and now I’m facing this again from home. As it is I need a solution, I’m thinking of renting a place for her and set up a business for her although I don’t fancy separation but at this point I need to take her away from him.

As for him, I don’t want to ever call him, we spoke a day before what he did. I’m looking for how to deal with this situation.

The solution has to come from your mother as she is the one meant to teach you all , by example, what to do when you find yourselves in such abusive situation. She has to want to leave her abuser for that to happen. So talk to her until she decides of her own to leave her abuser.

Your parent's marriage is not your load to bear. Leave it to your mother and father to carry their own burden abeg. Help your mother if she decides to separate and if she decides to continue living with her abuser, continue to advise her to leave while you continue to face your own life.

SimpleGuy001:
For now, I don’t know if I can report to any domestic violence agency as this is the north I’m talking about.

As for him, I won’t go into a face off with him. No strength for that, he is too dangerous. But if care is not taken, I will so isolate him. I know his weakness, I just feel helpless cause he is my father but he needs to be tamed and I will do just that.
For now, let me get her well.

It isn't your place to "tame" anyone, not even your father abeg. Just see this as sign for your mother to leave. The man has humiliated her in public. Is there any worse kind of rejection for a woman? She needs to understand what your father did to her, have it sink it so she can move out and begin to work on her life anew.

godofuck231:
good learn to reason with facts as a man , women could be manipulative, especially when they know you are emotionally attached to them , this has led to the death of many men and the women still marry someone else or live without the deceased, mind you beating up your mum isn't the beast for him what you need to do is to pay for sessions for your mum to learn how to manage her husband, when he's out of his anger binges he's a nice man , when offended he's a monster , this is because of triggers and escalations of an aggregated mood , you mum should control her words , your dad could have killed her and this wouldn't have been the case , men don't just get up and start beating women , its not normal, something is aggravating his anger , find what it is and her family should teach her how to avert anger melt downs , no go meet the ones when de react without since or una go go back una mama village o

Which words, my mom is even pleading on his behalf telling me I should let it slide. Mind your words, you know nada regarding what happened.

Kobojunkie:
The solution has to come from your mother as she is the one meant to teach you all , by example, what to do when you find yourselves in such abusive situation. She has to want to leave her abuser for that to happen. So talk to her until she decides of her own to leave her abuser.

Your parent's marriage is not your load to bear. Leave it to your mother and father to carry their own burden abeg. Help your mother if she decides to separate and if she decides to continue living with her abuser, continue to advise her to leave while you continue to face your own life.

Ok thanks

SimpleGuy001:


Which words, my mom is even pleading on his behalf telling me I should let it slide. Mind your words, you know nada regarding what happened.

then keep your family affair private