Babe,

You know that I appreciate you. I appreciate you so much. I enjoy talking to you, spending time with you, and just generally spending afternoons on the couch snuggled up with you reading a good book. We both have busy schedules so I know that most weekdays we hardly speak with the exception of hi and bye, and getting ready for bed in the evening. Friday nights we usually make time to grab dinner and Saturdays are usually filled with errands or attending functions that we’ve both been invited to attend as a couple. Sundays are our day. And I think that most couples would agree, Sunday is that day that you can spend with your significant other and everything is perfect. Sunday hugs, kisses, naps, and a good movie are the way to go.

Because I really appreciate that time with you, it pains me that I regret to inform you, that football is starting. This may be hard for you to understand and that’s why I took this time to write you this letter. I thought you would appreciate me getting my feelings out on paper.

I only get two days a week to watch football (well, except when the Champions League begins) because it only airs weekends. Football starts at noon on Saturday, but lasts until Sunday evening. Let me explain, it’s because the games are so great that as men we cheer for an encore even if it kills us. I need this time, this time reminds me that I’m a man and that manly blood runs through my veins.

Also, several of my friends will come over to watch games, or we may go to a sports bar. If I’m not in attendance I will be considered a bad friend and my manhood will undoubtedly be questioned. They will think that while men are being men, I’m probably locked in house with a blanket and hot tea watching a romantic movie. And babe, I love those movies, but I don’t love it when my boys laugh at me.

As it pertains to logistics, I’d like to discuss a few things. I’m an Arsenal fan, and although you may not like Arsenal, it would probably be best if you went ahead and acted like you did. I get emotional. My fan hood is deeply rooted and not easily moved. Anything you say, I probably already know, and have known for some time now. For example, “Baby the man just said Arsenal haven’t won a trophy in six seasons?! Is that a good thing?” That’s only going to make it worse. Don’t add salt to open wounds, just do what I do. And when I’m upset, just pat me on the back and tell me to keep drinking my beer.

If I have people over to my apartment for a game while you’re here, please be a great host. I would like to be as helpful as possible; however, my time is limited because I’m expected to be sitting in the living room watching the games at all times. I will need you to be in charge of taking orders, ordering food, serving food and providing beverages for everyone. This will be a lot easier for you if you buy the booze on Fridays when we’re out running errands. If being in the kitchen while the guys are watching the games bothers you, I’ve heard that some women take up hobbies such as cooking homemade shawarmas or perfecting the perfect chicken wings. There are several recipes online, feel free to try it out. I’ll be your guinea pig. (Kisses.)

During halftime is when most guys will break to call their girlfriends, wives, or sidepieces. Some guys will need a few more minutes just to get up to speed on fantasy scores. However, this is a good time for us to spend about 15 minutes together. And I can’t think of a better place to be doing that than in the bedroom. Yes, sex at halftime is BAWSE! It’s our way of staying connected and it’s also a stress reliever.

I’m glad I took the time to sit down and write you this letter. I feel so much better now that I’ve gotten this off my chest. I was so worried that you would be upset, but I think that now that I’ve expressed my feelings to you, you’ll understand 100%. If you want to talk about this later, please let me know, I’m always open to talking to you and hearing your thoughts. Lastly, know that, football only runs from August until May. (That’s 10 measly months!) Later we’ll discuss midweek football, but it shouldn’t be a problem at all, since you’ll be used to it by then, however we should talk about it just in case. Talk to you soon!

With Love and Admiration,

Your Honey Bunches of Oats



Culled from http://thetoolsman./2011/08/05/letter-to-my-girlfriend-about-football/

hahahahahaha trust guys

The part about arsenal just had me in stitches make people nor beat their wives because of wenger oh

...pls delete

why would any sane woman who wants to live a 'happily married life' go and marry a 'hard-a[b]s[/b]s' Arsenal fan?

^
sharaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap

mykali:

why would any sane woman who wants to live a 'happily married life' go and marry a 'hard-a[b]s[/b]s' Arsenal fan?

comot there jor
FYI we hard asss fans have better shock absorbers than you guys. comes from years of supporting arsenal and super eagles

mukina2:

^
sharaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap   

lol . . .you are already a hard a[b]s[/b]s fan so you have no problem . . .except you marry a Manure fan.
marrying a Chelsea dude will be better for your marriage bcuz we share your pain at times 

dominique:

comot there jor
FYI we hard asss fans have better shock absorbers than you guys. comes from years of supporting arsenal and super eagles

who is she talking about? shock absorbers eenh? oya, i also do hope you have good balancing and alignment so you won't fall off your high horse and change clubs soon enough