I work as a PA to a man that is so powerful in my company. Even though he is not the owner of the company,  he practically decides what happens as he is a goal getter and a good manager, aside from being the brother to the owner who resides abroad.

When I joined the company, I didn’t suspect his being “over-nice” to me has having any ulterior motive as he is generally nice to people.

For your information, I am married with a kid, a Christian and NOTHING will make me defile my marital vow. As a matter of fact, I told him once that I was ready to resign my appointment rather than indulge in this his sinful gesture.

I have used every diplomacy available to relate with this man. To make the matter worst, he is suspecting I have informed my husband and this is making him uncomfortable with me, and this is affecting our duties in and outside the office. As of now, he is no longer troubling me about going out with him, but it seems he is fed up with me.

I am suspecting that my days in the company is numbered by his body languages but I need this job so much in order to support my family.

Please, how do I deal with this man. Your advice should be premised on the following:

1. There is no way I could avoid him as we work together.
2. I could not report him either
3. I CAN NEVER go out with him.
4. I am not ready to resign now until I have found an alternative.

Pray and fast:ask God for mercy over your job and pray for your boss to lose interest in you. Ask for divine favour.

op, you have to keep making your point and keep making him understand hw you would NEVER go back on your words or marital vows.however,be as subtle and repectful in driving home your point, m sure that at some point when he realises he's never going to win,he'll let you be.

He is no longer troubling me about going out with him, but it seems he is fed up with me.

pray more

[b]Op.
Giving in to this man's demands would give him a very good reason to fire you.Ladies seem to miss this bit.
When you give in, you lose your pride and value.You have degraded yourself in his eyes and he knows you you are capable of doing the same with any member of staff.Kudos to you.
Even if he sacks you,you carried your pride with you so you have not lost.

Now now,this seems like a privately owned company which makes it quite tricky since he can sack without explanation and you have nobody to report to. I would have said No he wont sack you but being PA? yes he can.

This is what.Stop speculating and spruce up your resume. Start applying elsewhere without his knowledge.
Its better to be safe than sorry cz this dude seems adamant.
Did you say you are a christian? One word.When one door closes God opens another. My dear God will smile and shake your hand if he decides to sack you and he will proceed to open another gate let alone a door.

If you have been a dedicated employee,be wise. Look outside BUT hold on to what puts bread on the table at the moment. Just don't throw in the towel till he gives you the sack or till you have gotten another job.!

Note this; these sort of men are everywhere and you will find worse men elsewhere than those you left behind.
I can assure you that standing up is not easy. You may keep on doing this over and over but you know what?
while at it, you may get a promotion and move from PA to say a department head.

At times God wants to promote us but the storms we face blur our vision.

Then consider a job outside PA.Those PA jobs face such challenges cz these crazy dudes are ever on your face!
All will be well. Hold on, but look out! don't ever assume.



[/b]

It's a good time for you to grow up

Pendo89 has said it all.

Start looking for another job. But knowing these people who are always trying to force their subordinates to be intimate with them, he has too much respect for you to fire you. That of cause if you are good at your job

dont no y i myself wuld react differently in this situation. cos i wuld curse, b.itch slap and make d mans life a living hell. i hardly give a damn about people like this. F* d job. i wuld  resign d next day if someone pulls such trash on me  (disrespecting my husband and my family) because he/she feels he is in a beta position to do wateve. i mean, dat is kind of like my weakness; i'm allergic to BS, and i wuld resign even b4 d person wuld have d time to give me some silly negative attitude.have to work on that part of my personality though cos i hear that u may miss opportunities by not cooling down to tink about a situation. but thus far, i've had no regrets in my life.
plus me, i dont bliv dat people can change. its unfortunate that in nigeria, harassment on females cannot be reported to some higher authority if not, u wuld have sued d hell out of d man. what an unjust society! dis is really an unfair situation  

my dear, since it seems u can endure it, and u obviously can handle d situation in a cool mind, i will say u stay put, and wait till d shameless buffalo tells u your time is up. who knows he might, on the other hand he might take sometime to shamelessly tell u to leave, prolly a year or even more. but while at d waiting game, still give your best 2d job, and start job hunting already. on d bright side, u might find a beta job soon, and b d one to resign on your own terms, with a big smile on your face.   .
take it easy dear. everything is gonna b okay

nyash the man commot, that thing no dey save log

Is that what you would ask your wife to do? Have sex with her boss?
Read her post well! b4 u say Nyash.

i would advice you to start looking for a job and move whenever you got something comparable or better.

pendo89:

Is that what you would ask your wife to do? Be Intimate with her boss?
Read her post well! b4 u say Nyash.

but see how serious she is about not wanting to loose the jab, that of ma wife will have a security code

OfficePA:

I work as a PA to a man that is so powerful in my company. Even though he is not the owner of the company,  he practically decides what happens as he is a goal getter and a good manager, aside from being the brother to the owner who resides abroad.

When I joined the company, I didn’t suspect his being “over-nice” to me has having any ulterior motive as he is generally nice to people.

For your information, I am married with a kid, a Christian and NOTHING will make me defile my marital vow. As a matter of fact, I told him once that I was ready to resign my appointment rather than indulge in this his sinful gesture.

I have used every diplomacy available to relate with this man. To make the matter worst, he is suspecting I have informed my husband and this is making him uncomfortable with me, and this is affecting our duties in and outside the office. As of now, he is no longer troubling me about going out with him, but it seems he is fed up with me.

I am suspecting that my days in the company is numbered by his body languages but I need this job so much in order to support my family.

Please, how do I deal with this man. Your advice should be premised on the following:

1. There is no way I could avoid him as we work together.
2. I could not report him either
3. I CAN NEVER go out with him.
4. I am not ready to resign now until I have found an alternative.

My dear,I am going to ask you some questions and you are free to answer or not to answer:
1.What is your educational qualification?
2.Before you accepted this job,did you attempt to find out what the duties of a Peronal assistant entails?
3.Since your Boss started sexually harrassing you,as a christian,Have you told your husband and what was his response?Please give an honest answer!
4.From your post,I understand that,even though your boss is sex.ually harrassing you,you have made up your mind not to resign until you find an alternative because you need the money .Do you in your heart of hearts believe this is a wise decision for a christian lady to take?
As I said you do not need to respond,but in your heart and mind,seek the answers to these questions and the truth will set you free.
PEACE!

^^

Richvkunt:


4.From your post,I understand that,even though your boss is sex.ually harrassing you,you have made up your mind not to resign until you find an alternative because you need the money .Do you in your heart of hearts believe this is a wise decision for a christian lady to take?

[b]Now Rich,as a christian we are not called to be timid always running away from difficult situations but face and conquer them with God's help.We shall never develop or impart any society with this kind of attitude

Its clear in the word that, when the enemy (in this case boss) comes in like a flood,God shall raise up a standard against him.It's not your battle but God's.If that does not happen then,He will open another door for her if she does not compromise.He never fails not the God that I know.

Another point is this, in every circumstance a christian is faced with, WISDOM must apply and it must be in line with the Word of God. If God says 'he that doesn't work must not eat,then whey would you advise her to quit and go stay at home?

Its obvious that 2 things are bound to happen here.Get sacked or be retained due of her firm stand.
But see,this being a private owned company its always good to weigh risks. She has nobody to sue here.

It would therefore be unwise for her to throw in the towel immediately. Who knows whether she will be retained?
She needs to put bread on the table ([s]yes I know the husband is there but I believe the wife needs to chip in as well cz life is expensive).[/s]

The wise decision here would be to weigh risks,start applying elsewhere without his knowledge cz its clear this dude is up to no good.
But she MUST hold on to this job till the day she gets the sack or a new job.

Op but always know that you will encounter other monsters elsewhere so running is never a solution cz you need to settle and build a career.

Some jobs carry unnecessary weights making pple's lives miserable.

Okay Now what is your hubby;s stand in all this? His advise matters more than ours you know cz its the 2 of you.
[/b]

OfficePA:

I work as a PA to a man that is so powerful in my company. Even though he is not the owner of the company,  he practically decides what happens as he is a goal getter and a good manager, aside from being the brother to the owner who resides abroad.

When I joined the company, I didn’t suspect his being “over-nice” to me has having any ulterior motive as he is generally nice to people.

For your information, I am married with a kid, a Christian and NOTHING will make me defile my marital vow. As a matter of fact, I told him once that I was ready to resign my appointment rather than indulge in this his sinful gesture.

I have used every diplomacy available to relate with this man. To make the matter worst, he is suspecting I have informed my husband and this is making him uncomfortable with me, and this is affecting our duties in and outside the office. As of now, he is no longer troubling me about going out with him, but it seems he is fed up with me.

I am suspecting that my days in the company is numbered by his body languages but I need this job so much in order to support my family.

Please, how do I deal with this man. Your advice should be premised on the following:

1. There is no way I could avoid him as we work together.
2. I could not report him either
3. I CAN NEVER go out with him.
4. I am not ready to resign now until I have found an alternative.

U overemphasised how desperate are u not to loose the job. Let me ask u the following questions b4 giving my advice:
- is ur husband not working?
- are u sure u did not give the man an impression that u'r so desperate to keep the job?
- are u professional about ur job as regards job description and job specification.
- how did u get the job; is it on merit or 'connection'?

In line with the above, my advice:
if u got the job thru some undue influence and u'r not ready to 'pay' resignation is the best option for u or get sacked for incompetence; but if you adequately satisfied the job descriptions and specifications,  then continue with your job unshaken
- If ur husband is working, resign (esp if u got the job by 'connection') and let ur husband add money to ur savings so that u can set up a biz.
- For ur husband to set u up in biz, u need to explain  what happened to him and be sure u did not promise or gave an impression(may b that was why the man was 'over nice' to u as stated in ur comment) to the man that u'r willing to play ball
- When the man was 'over nice' to u, I expected that u b wary since he was more nice to u than he was to other employees; probably u were taking all the man's gift (when u supposed to turn them down politely or ask questions why all these gifts?) with the mind that he was a "MAGA”  IT IS IMPORTANT THAT PPL BACK THEIR WORDS WITH ACTIONS.

pendo89:

^^
[b]Now Rich,as a christian we are not called to be timid always running away from difficult situations but face and conquer them with God's help.We shall never develop or impart any society with this kind of attitude

Its clear in the word that, when the enemy (in this case boss) comes in like a flood,God shall raise up a standard against him.It's not your battle but God's.If that does not happen then,He will open another door for her if she does not compromise.He never fails not the God that I know.

Another point is this, in every circumstance a christian is faced with, WISDOM must apply and it must be in line with the Word of God. If God says 'he that doesn't work must not eat,then whey would you advise her to quit and go stay at home?

Its obvious that 2 things are bound to happen here.Get sacked or be retained due of her firm stand.
But see,this being a private owned company its always good to weigh risks. She has nobody to sue here.

It would therefore be unwise for her to throw in the towel immediately. Who knows whether she will be retained?
She needs to put bread on the table ([s]yes I know the husband is there but I believe the wife needs to chip in as well cz life is expensive).[/s]

The wise decision here would be to weigh risks,start applying elsewhere without his knowledge cz its clear this dude is up to no good.
But she MUST hold on to this job till the day she gets the sack or a new job.

Op but always know that you will encounter other monsters elsewhere so running is never a solution cz you need to settle and build a career.

Some jobs carry unnecessary weights making pple's lives miserable.

Okay Now what is your hubby;s stand in all this? His advise matters more than ours you know cz its the 2 of you.
[/b]

I asked four questions and you picked one to respond to.
What is her qualification and how did she get the job?
When her boss started to harrass her did she discuss it with her hubby?
Did she find out what being a personal assistant entailed before accepting the job?
Is it wise for a christian to go courting temptation because she needs money?
Answer these questions before you start preaching!

kokogee:

U overemphasised how desperate are u not to loose the job. Let me ask u the following questions b4 giving my advice:
- is your husband not working?
- are u sure u did not give the man an impression that u'r so desperate to keep the job?
- are u professional about your job as regards job description and job specification.
- how did u get the job; is it on merit or 'connection'?

In line with the above, my advice:
if u got the job thru some undue influence and u'r not ready to 'pay' resignation is the best option for u or get sacked for incompetence; but if you adequately satisfied the job descriptions and specifications,  then continue with your job unshaken
- If your husband is working, resign (esp if u got the job by 'connection') and let your husband add money to your savings so that u can set up a biz.
- For your husband to set u up in biz, u need to explain  what happened to him and be sure u did not promise or gave an impression(may b that was why the man was 'over nice' to u as stated in your comment) to the man that u'r willing to play ball
- When the man was 'over nice' to u, I expected that u b wary since he was more nice to u than he was to other employees; probably u were taking all the man's gift (when u supposed to turn them down politely or ask questions why all these gifts?) with the mind that he was a "MAGA”  IT IS IMPORTANT THAT PPL BACK THEIR WORDS WITH ACTIONS.

Wise contribution with no undue sentiments!

Have you seen the movie (horrible bosses) go see it and know what to imply

@poster

Has it occur to you that your boss may r. a. p.e you or attempt to. PAs and their bosses are usually together and alone most time sometimes even outside town.

Richvkunt asked some very pertinent questions.

I will advise you discuss this with your husband. Resign immediately to avoid being despoil by your boss. If however your husband is not working then together start looking for another job as if your life depends on it. It doesn't have to be better pay just a lifeline.

Most men will testify that it is difficult for a man who has fixed his mind on sleeping with a particular woman to give up easily especially if they are always together and alone most timesm

Two things may happen if you do nothing; your boss will sack you or rape you judging by your story

op
i dont know how 2 say dis but u need 2 . . . . . . . . . .




quit d job.

@OP,
No need to run away. Show a little bit of spine. Just do your job and ignore his vibes.
If he tries to threaten you in anyway, just tell him that you will be contacting your lawyers. Even if he threatens you with sack.
Most big men in Nigeria expect you to be timid and scared. Show a little spine, and see just how cowardly most of them are.

Oh, lest I forget, start seriously looking for another job.

Don't resign especially since you say he is no longer bothering you.
The fact that he seems fed up with you is no reason to resign.
If you are good at your job he will think twice before disengaging you.
Just stick to your tasks and don't relent in finding a new job.
Wishing you the best.

mbulela:

Don't resign especially since you say he is no longer bothering you.
The fact that he seems fed up with you is no reason to resign.
If you are good at your job he will think twice before disengaging you.
Just stick to your tasks and don't relent in finding a new job.
Wishing you the best.

Co-signed.

@OP

I am very impressed with your behavior, i wish all Naija girls can copy your attitude. I can tell you that this your boss admires your principles. He may not say it but i can tell you that he admires you a lot and he may be jealous of your husband. Next time he makes one of his advances to you, why not sit him down and explain your situations to him?? Let him know what kind of examples you are trying to set for your son as a mother. Tell him how much you cherish working with him and that you do not want to destroy the professional relationship you have with him. Ask him that you don't want to break your marriage vows as it means a lot to you in training your children from knowing right from wrong. Ask him if he wants you to resign because you are not going to break your marriage vows. If he fires you, go to the owner of the company and let him know what is going in his company. Goodluck and thank you for being true to your vows.

@Finecat

Thanks for your encouragemnt. Everything u said is true. As a matter of fact, he now dodges me unconciously and has refused to entertain any discussion abt my family.

Thanks everyone.

I hv learnt a lot here.

My sister, let me dash you my own two kobo.

You cant resign cos you need the pay, and you wont give in to your boss as you are a christian. Look, the kingdom of God suffereth violence, and the violent taketh it by FORCE. Pray very well but you also need a battle strategy like David did against Goliath.

Get a small digital recorder, try and record a conversation when you boss makes passes at you. Get a lawyer and keep the recording in a banks safe deposit box. There are even spy cameras now that you can install in both your offices.

If your boss dares sack you cos of your refusal to play ball with him, dont threaten in order to ensure your safety. Just alert your lawyer and sue his f.kng a.r.s.e to court for some cool millions. Even if you dont win, he will learn never to mess around with married women again.

I get pissed off when I hear people say just pray, even God says we should work out our salvation with fear and trembling. Its cos of attitute like this that Nigeria is taking so much c
Poo from corrupt leaders.

Remain blessed sis.