See o
While King Charlse was dancing, Some of us were also dancing there. suddenly I noticed some Igbo boys scrambling for the money the guests were spraying King Charles. They were shamelessly disgracing themselves. I stopped dancing and went back to our own canopy to relax. But there I met some yoruba people fighting for food. Food o, and shouting at the top of their voices while some white guys were busy videoing them. Shame catch me for them and I decided to leave the venue.
I drove from the car park and at the gate, some people were begging. They came to my car saying "isebidilahi, isebidilahi". This made me know that they are hausa people. Then I shouted at them: 'comon getat or I run over you'.
They shamefully clear from my way and I drove off

Broooo!! who's ur plug man!? I need some in my life right now.

May your agony from the queen's burial be excruciating as your write up.

Village man

MatrixReloaded:
May your agony from the queen's burial be excruciating as your write up.

Otoro gba gbue gi

Entprys:

Otoro gba gbue gi

O Nke gba foro gi..

Entprys:
See o
While King Charlse was dancing, Some of us were also dancing there. suddenly I noticed some Igbo boys scrambling for the money the guests were spraying King Charles. They were shamelessly disgracing themselves. I stopped dancing and went back to our own canopy to relax. But there I met some yoruba people fighting for food. Food o, and shouting at the top of their voices while some white guys were busy videoing them. Shame catch me for them and I decided to leave the venue.
I drove from the car park and at the gate, some people were begging. They came to my car saying "isebidilahi, isebidilahi". This made me know that they are hausa people. Then I shouted at them: 'comon getat or I run over you'.
They shamefully clear from my way and I drove off

What pained me most was the people changing new mint at the party.

They came with only 100 USD bills.

I was like...kilode? for ordinary burial? Is it because na Mama Charlie die?

I comot eye for their stand, kukuma decide to go spray the Naira i came with like that.

That was how the MC announced that all Naira sprayers should move to the canopy outside and spray the picture of Mama ''Chars" that was placed specially for them.

I no listen, na so i carry my lasigidi agidi to the front, shoving everybody away so i could pass....See crowd. I pushed one man, he pushed me back angrily and in a typical lagos voice shouted at me asking 'you no dey look face?'. I looked at. his face and it was our VP, Osinbajo.

I was like...your excellency sir, 'ah no see you ni o....'

As i reach front, i saw that there was a lot of cash on the floor. Dollar dey, pounds plenty. I no see Naira, i no mind. Wetin surprise me pass be say na Putin dey pick money for floor they load am inside ghana-must-go. I shouted...'Ah, President Putin make i help you nah...'. He no even answer.

Na so i bone, begin spray my seven thousand naira wey i don break into hundred naira notes.

I never spray reach one thousand five, when i notice say black bag don cover my face. Strong men don carry me, put inside helicopter.

I dey hear dem speak pidgin. One dey talk on phone with his wife. he dey talk say na the abobaku wey escape dem just arrest and dem wan go put am inside mama charlie casket.

As i hear this, i con dey speak pidgin back....i dey beg them say i no be abobaku. How i go die with queen when i noo chop life with her? Dem dey surprised say i be Naija guy. Dem talk say the abobaku wey dem wan arrest na black american. Dem con land the helicopter for Heathrow Airport, talk say make i no vex.

Dem tell one pilot wey dey load Lagos to carry me, put me for front seat.

Na so i thank them come back o.

As i dey reach house na im i talk say make i update una.

Entprys:
See o
While King Charlse was dancing, Some of us were also dancing there. suddenly I noticed some Igbo boys scrambling for the money the guests were spraying King Charles. They were shamelessly disgracing themselves. I stopped dancing and went back to our own canopy to relax. But there I met some yoruba people fighting for food. Food o, and shouting at the top of their voices while some white guys were busy videoing them. Shame catch me for them and I decided to leave the venue.
I drove from the car park and at the gate, some people were begging. They came to my car saying "isebidilahi, isebidilahi". This made me know that they are hausa people. Then I shouted at them: 'comon getat or I run over you'.
They shamefully clear from my way and I drove off

Since you be Der dancing with Charlie...you be Nigga for dem Oyibo peeple mind ooh.

Please move this thread to the jokes section

Mad people everywhere

MatrixReloaded:
May your agony from the queen's burial be excruciating as your write up.

I think you are the one in agony here.

LOL!

The original madness of the OP and the Abobaku extension of the tale are quite interesting.

They both tell their own stories about Nigeria and global affairs respectively.

I reckon that Putin was picking the money due to the sanctions that have impacted the Russian economy.

MatrixReloaded:

O Nke gba foro gi..

You left just yesterday? Me and my goons ran like bat away from hell at day 5. Reasons are below:
You may recall Obi cubana mama's burial? You remember the numbers of cows? Plenty abi? King Charles didn't buy even a baby cow for Lizzy mama.

I stood at bukinham palace gate observing to see when the Vans conveying alcohol would pass, while Musa my friend searched the bukinham palace back Yard tirelessly for the guys wey dey slaughter cow to help them arrange stuffs so he'd steal some beef for suya.

3rhs later Musa came back looking so sad and said, na only flowers full backyard.

How many Trucks of beer don pass? He asked.

Na only men on horse backs, band groups and crying Britons oo. I shouted because at that point a group blaring and singing soul chilling "London bridge" passed.

Dem dey chop Lonto bridge? abi na brand of jollof rice? Damilora, the big Yansh Yoruba gal blurted out.

The atmosphere around this part of London was mournful, but in our circle anger, vile and bitterness ruled supreme.

How a burial no get jollof rice, alcohol and cow surprise the shit out of me.

Let's protest! I suggested. And they all shouted! Yehhhhh!.

Placard materialized. Ofcourse it was Lizzy posters.

You recall the rainbow that appeared? It came out as soon as we hit the major streets of London, and we guessed that God endorsed our noise.

We where heading to the church to display Nigeria fulll cream madness and Chase people around.

When we got to London bridge, the vigor was intense and vibes was towering great. I was proud as the mountains. I was doing something I believed in. VAWULENCE!!!

I don't know how it happened. But I thank God I'm alive to narrate to you.

Just like a scene from Hollywood movie, a Black hawk Helicopter hovered overhead and gallant men drop from the ropes while the chopper was still in the air.

In a heartbeat, they caught all my goons and went straight up. However, they had a tough time capturing me.

I ran Helter skelter like a moving mad dog.

I shouted no rice, cow or alcohol as i stood on the railings of the bridge and made to plunge into the deep blue waters.

My goons up in the chopper were shouting and saying, Dem dey come. No ever give up!

I turned around sharply and I saw...

Five hefty men run after me welding mad guns.

I remember how I felt. Ggggggggg.

Is that not how you feel when electric shock is used on you ? Okay, you've never being shocked?

I felt electric shock all over me.

When they carried me up I didn't know.

Infact, I slept all through the whole flight back to Naija.

Lizzy mama ! Fear my return. Oh, king Charles! Fear my return.

Op they didn't share RICE or what?

Throwback:
LOL!

The original madness of the OP and the Abobaku extension of the tale are quite interesting.

They both tell their own stories about Nigeria and global affairs respectively.

I reckon that Putin was picking the money due to the sanctions that have impacted the Russian economy.

I swear, u wrote down my mind. E really sweet

Joseph the Dreamer

This Akiko ifo sweet small

Just here to laff

Change your plug...na market you wan enter so

No be small things ooooo.

Make moderator move this to front page

This thread deserve 2022 Comic relief award.