Firing Squad Blond (PG)

Three women are about to be executed. One's a brunette, one's a redhead and one's a blonde.

The guard brings the brunette forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim!''

Suddenly the brunette yells, ''EARTHQUAKE!!!''

Everyone is startled and throws themselves on the ground while she escapes.

The guard brings the redhead forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.

She say no and the executioner shouts, ''Ready! Aim!''

Suddenly the redhead yells, ''TORNADO!!!''

Everyone is startled and looks around for cover while she escapes.

By now the blonde has it all figured out. The guard brings her forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.

She says no and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim!'' and the blonde yells, ''FIRE!!!'''

wo Pensioners (15)

An old lady and an old man are sitting in their retirement home.

The man turns to the woman and says,"I bet you can't tell how old I am."

She says,"Okay."

She then unzips his fly, feels around for a while and finally says, "You're 83."

"That's amazing!" the man exclaims. "How did you know that?" he asks.

She replies, "You told me yesterday."

Q:Why did the blonde visit the post office 50 times in one day?
A:Her computer kept saying she has mail.

Q: How do you keep a blonde busy?
A: Write "Please turn over" on both sides of a piece of paper.

Q: What goes VROOM, SCREECH, VROOM, SCREECH, VROOM, SCREECH?
A: A blonde driving through a flashing red light.

all these blond jokes - dem nor dey tire you sef?

Efemena i shooooooooooooooooocccck na!!! So so blond!

no blame jokingmary jare. the guy na blonde

Puzzle

yawns

the probs with copy and paste jokes is simple, the photo copier have no limit till the ink runs out.
next.

abeg abeg abeg, naira land, blonde joke no dey tire una sef me i get my own joke o, make i talk?

A guy's driving down a country
road when he comes upon a
sign saying "Apples - $5.00
each." He thinks that that is a
lot of money so he decides to
go see what's up.
He goes up to the farmer and
says, "Hey, how come these
apples are 5 bucks each?" The
farmer replies, "They are
peanut butter and jelly apples."
The farmer hands him one and
says, "Here, try one."
So the man takes a bite out of
the apple and says, "Peanut
butter - that's great, but I
thought you said that they
were peanut butter and jelly
apples."
The farmer tells the man to
turn it around. The man bites
the other side and exclaims
"son of a gun - jelly!" The man
says, "These apples are great -
give me some!"
He gets back in his car and
drives a little further down the
road and then sees another
sign "Apples - $10 each." Again,
he pulls over, goes to the
farmer and says, "Hey, what's
up with these apples?"
The farmer says, "They're ham
and cheese apples. Here, try
one."
The guy takes a bit and
exclaims, "Son of a gun - ham!"
The guy then says, "Let me
guess - I have to turn it
around."
The farmer says "You got it."
The guy bites the other side
and says, "Cheese." Again the
man says, "These apples are
great - give me some."
Then he gets back in his car
and drives down the road. He
comes upon a third sign that
says "Apples - $50 each." The
guy really wants to see what's
up with these apples. Again, he
pulls over, goes up to the
farmer and says, "What's the
deal with these apples? 50
bucks each?"
The farmer tells him that
"These apples are pussy
apples. Here, try one."
The guy takes a bite out of it
and says, "Yuck!
This apple tastes like shit!"
The farmer says, "Turn it
around!"