Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other end.

Love Affairs: Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.

Marriage: It’s an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor’s degree and a woman gains her master.

Divorce: Future tense of marriage.

Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of any.

Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by a feminine water-power.

Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Dictionary: a place where divorce comes before marriage.

Ecstasy: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.

Classic: A book which people praise but does not read.

Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

ETC: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.

Atomic Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

Philosophy: A fool who torments himself during life to be spoken of when dead.

Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

Opportunist: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel Towers says in midway “See I am not injured yet.”

Pessimist: A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO instead of the first letter in OPPORTUNITY.

Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

Father: A banker provided by nature.

Criminal: A guy not different from the rest except that he got caught.

Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Politicians: One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.

Doctor: A person who kills your ills with pills and kills you with his bills.

geecee,

Nice one. but what is the definition of geecee?

And wat's d definition of femib26?

nice one keep it up

U get d name when u've writen or u wrote G.C.E 4 more dan 5 tyms.

No offence, just joking.

@ Miginies, LOL. I take no offence, your definition is funny but dat's not true.

what about jamb?

;d

The cigarette definition is quite funny.

you smoke?

Heck no! And I don't thnk a smoker wld find d def. funny.
Anyways, how's ur side, Shaks?

nice one
the marriage, lecture and conference ones were very funny!

A little boy defined Marriage as; HAVING DSTV and watching only ONE CHANNEL

El Guapo: Nice joke Geecee But Er what the hell do u have at the cigarrate definition?? I dont like that, am a Genius jxt like Darwin but we all smoke