I have been going through this for like 4 years now and I don't know how to break free as my hands are tight.
I got into an argument with my dad over the phone last night because of my sister who's schooling in Lafia as a Community Health Extension Worker (CHEW).
She called complaining to me been her elder brother of how my dad sent her 1K for upkeep, according to him (my dad) that my uncle has given my sister some money for upkeep so he sees no reason sending her money, the same Man that paid my sister's tution fee of 200k+ some months back with my dad contributing nothing and him (my dad) as a soldier can't afford to send my sister even 5k for upkeep a girl child; I got mad called him and told him that's pure wickedness and that I've reported him to my uncle and we're to sit this December to iron things out.
As a soldier that he is nah got angry and started ranting that this should be the last time that I'll speak to him in that manner, I told him this was the same thing he did to me while I was schooling in the Polytechnic but I could cope because I am a guy (I'm only but 20 years old) and he shouldn't be treating my sister in that manner and if that be the case then I'm leaving the house to go look for something to do and support my sister and myself who they've chosen to domesticate. To my greatest suprise my father told me that if I think I am a man that I should leave the house last night and not even wait till the next day; I felt dead but still alive.
I hold National Diploma in Computer Science.
I need help on how to break free, I can do any job for a start.
I'm losing my sanity and honestly sometimes I see death as a way out.

Try make friends with those who are into computer related fields and see how you can secure accomodation even if it means squatting and move away from your father, he could harm you.

you get knowledge for computer

and you still dey lament

lora lappy ko wa haka si malay

thank me later

usah4:
I have been going through this for like 4 years now and I don't know how to break free as my hands are tight.
I got into an argument with my dad over the phone last night because of my sister who's schooling in Lafia as a Community Health Extension Worker (CHEW).
She called complaining to me been her elder brother of how my dad sent her 1K for upkeep, according to him (my dad) that my uncle has given my sister some money for upkeep so he sees no reason sending her money, the same Man that paid my sister's tution fee of 200k+ some months back with my dad contributing nothing and him (my dad) as a soldier can't afford to send my sister even 5k for upkeep a girl child; I got mad called him and told him that's pure wickedness and that I've reported him to my uncle and we're to sit this December to iron things out.
As a soldier that he is nah got angry and started ranting that this should be the last time that I'll speak to him in that manner, I told him this was the same thing he did to me while I was schooling in the Polytechnic but I could cope because I am a guy (I'm only but 20 years old) and he shouldn't be treating my sister in that manner and if that be the case then I'm leaving the house to go look for something to do and support my sister and myself who they've chosen to domesticate. To my greatest suprise my father told me that if I think I am a man that I should leave the house last night and not even wait till the next day; I felt dead but still alive.
I hold National Diploma in Computer Science.
I need help on how to break free, I can do any job for a start.
I'm losing my sanity and honestly sometimes I see death as a way out.

You are not leaving to wage war with your dad

You are leaving to establish your self and help the family

What about your mum, why is she not in the picture

Look, if your dad doesn't want to contribute anything for his daughter education, just ignore him

His reward will line up for him at old age

I will advise you don't fight your dad but look for something to do to ease the tension

Him no send any one of you

Oga, all you need is to go look for a job with your OND. You can start by walking around industrial estates around you and talking to the gate men. Or you could tell your uncle to help you look for a job. Infact, tell everyone around you. Within a month, something will show.

As for your dad, his day of reckoning is close. It doesn't always end well for men like him. It is well.

frozen70:


You are not leaving to wage war with your dad

You are leaving to establish your self and help the family

What about your mum, why is she not in the picture

Look, if your dad doesn't want to contribute anything for his daughter education, just ignore him

His reward will line up for him at old age

I will advise you don't fight your dad but look for something to do to ease the tension

Him no send any one of you

Thank you, my mom is not in the picture because she and my dad separated even before I was 5 and she's doing nothing except farming and she's not married till now, I don't even know why they're apart.
He doesn't even send her it's as if she doesn't exist to him, she comes in the picture once; like in this case now he my dad may call her to caution me.
The fact still remains I've been so comfortable in my comfort zone that I'm scared of the outside world, like where do I start from, if I leave to earn a living where do I stay to start hustling and my fear is how bad the country is.
Gone are the days where people sleep under bridges to hustle but with the current kidnapping, killings and banditry attacks I fear for my life.

sisisioge:
Oga, all you need is to go look for a job with your OND. You can start by walking around industrial estates around you and talking to the gate men. Or you could tell your uncle to help you look for a job. Infact, tell everyone around you. Within a month, something will show.

As for your dad, his day of reckoning is close. It doesn't always end well for men like him. It is well.

I appreciate it.
I am in a place where there's nothing to hold unto, if I need to do that then it has to be another state; Benue is a shit hole where you can't find anything handy to do, I've worked in a cafe in this place with my ND and my pay is just 5k for the month and before the month end transportation must have taken part of it if not all of.
But nevertheless I'll do as you've said maybe one way will come out, even where I'm thinking it might not.

jimmyolasun:
you get knowledge for computer

and you still dey lament

lora lappy ko wa haka si malay

thank me later

I am learning to code on my own but without the reliable resources I find it difficult to move forward and so I'm not consistent at it.
I write my codes on paper especially HTML and then Java using an app called Progate but it hasn't been easy.

DaniDani:
Try make friends with those who are into computer related fields and see how you can secure accomodation even if it means squatting and move away from your father, he could harm you.

I was doing very ok before I left Jos due to the transfer of my dad to another state as it is now I've been home in Benue for the past 7 months doing nothing.
I've begged money from friends that anyone I try to call feels I'm here to beg again, cos my symbiotic relationships turned to parasitic ones, and that's why I'm tired of the complains I give to my friends to get money I've decided I want to work something out for myself. But how is the problem.

usah4:


Thank you, my mom is not in the picture because she and my dad separated even before I was 5 and she's doing nothing except farming and she's not married till now, I don't even know why they're apart.
He doesn't even send her it's as if she doesn't exist to him, she comes in the picture once; like in this case now he my dad may call her to caution me.
The fact still remains I've been so comfortable in my comfort zone that I'm scared of the outside world, like where do I start from, if I leave to earn a living where do I stay to start hustling and my fear is how bad the country is.
Gone are the days where people sleep under bridges to hustle but with the current kidnapping, killings and banditry attacks I fear for my life.

Sorry for what you have been going through

Now you see why your mum separated from your dad, it's because of his regimented attitude

Your papa no send anyone

You can still operate from your comfort zone and like I said, don't confront him

Look around for casual work or office assistant boy

You just have to make up your mind to face life with it's challenges, at least you have accommodation, that's why i want you to neglect your dad because of the roof he gives you

frozen70:


Sorry for what you have been going through

Now you see why your mum separated from your dad, it's because of his regimented attitude

Your papa no send anyone

You can still operate from your comfort zone and like I said, don't confront him


Look around for casual work or office assistant boy

You just have to make up your mind to face life with it's challenges, at least you have accommodation, that's why i want you to neglect your dad because of the roof he gives you

It's never easy to stay in a place where you don't have peace of mind, you're either hated or you hate people.
I've asked my uncle to summon him this December for a family meeting, cos he respects his brother I know he'll get Pass to come then I'll talk to him face to face but in Africa when you do things like this some of our parents think we're been stupid and stubborn (like in my case he'll say "So you've grown to an extent you want to start asking us questions" and that's why I'm looking for a plan B should in case my plan A fails if it turns sour.

usah4:


It's never easy to stay in a place where you don't have peace of mind, you're either hated or you hate people.
I've asked my uncle to summon him this December for a family meeting, cos he respects his brother I know he'll get Pass to come then I'll talk to him face to face but in Africa when you do things like this some of our parents think we're been stupid and stubborn (like in my case he'll say "So you've grown to an extent you want to start asking us questions" and that's why I'm looking for a plan B should in case my plan A fails if it turns sour.

Am glad you guys will be having a family meeting this December

If it works out, you have to be very polite in all your presentations

You must respect the presence of the elders

You have a good point to present, but if it lacks respect and decorum

You will loose every thing that moment and the next thing,
They will assume you don't have respect and your dad wings will grow larger

But if your presentation is proper and with decorum, they will clip your father's wing

You can also invite your sister and probably your mother if she will wish to attend

Because your papa mater done tire her

usah4:


I appreciate it.
I am in a place where there's nothing to hold unto, if I need to do that then it has to be another state; Benue is a shit hole where you can't find anything handy to do, I've worked in a cafe in this place with my ND and my pay is just 5k for the month and before the month end transportation must have taken part of it if not all of.
But nevertheless I'll do as you've said maybe one way will come out, even where I'm thinking it might not.

you are in benue and you they complain. Guy u need slap

Ovieemmanuel:
you are in benue and you they complain. Guy u need slap

Na who wear shoe know where deh pain am, you think my problem is food right.

usah4:



Na who wear shoe know where deh pain am, you think my problem is food right.

no you have means to export food produce to other part of the country. Even if you dont have capital you can purchase for people.

Ovieemmanuel:
no you have means to export food produce to other part of the country. Even if you dont have capital you can purchase for people.

A point though.

usah4:


A point though.

oh so now you know.easy pizzy