I asked him what will he do if I marry a woman he doesn't like . He said he doesn't have a problem with that but my mum will have a problem with it. I asked him why, he said If he doesn't like the woman and I love her . I can go ahead and marry her because my happiness matter he will accept her but if my mum doesn't like her and I marry her against her wish. I will not enjoy the marriage my wife will suffer the consequences. He gave me an example of my mum and his mum he said do you know why your mum and grandmother have the greatest bond I said no he said it is because my mother was his mother favourite from the beginning that's why my grandmother is free to come over and stay in the house as long as she want and there will no be no fight between them. But if she didn't like her from the beginning he don't think he would have married her because he didn't want her to suffer. He told me again if you marry a girl that your mother doesn't like she will become her worst enemy and she will never visit your house and your wife will have no peace knowing that her mother in law hates her so much. Your children will never bond with their grandmother. I ask him when I'm ready for marriage should I ask her to find me a woman of her choice so they will be no problem. He said she or he doesn't have the right to choose a wife for me they can only direct me with the type of woman i should marry so I will not marry the wrong one. He said if I ever find one I should consider my mum decision first not his . Is my dad right or wrong? Sorry I don't know how to explain this better I hope you will understand me better and give me good advice ?

He said if I ever find one I should consider my mum decision first not his . Is my dad right or wrong?

I was enjoying your dad's words of wisdom until I get to this part. Why must you consider your mum's decision first before settling down with your prospective wife? Is your mum the head of the family? Why must your dad delegate his position to the woman he called his wife?

It's very important for your mother to like your wife but then, it's also up to you.

What kind of relationship do you have with your mother, are you a mummy's boy, are you assertive with your decisions, does your mother trust your choices?

There's another level of enjoyment when a woman has a cordial relationship with her mother in law. Ask any married woman.

I don't even understand your write up

Zonefree:

I was enjoying your dad's words of wisdom until I get to this part. Why must you consider your mum's decision first before settling down with your prospective wife? Is your mum the head of the family? Why must your dad delegate his position to the woman he called his wife?

Mothers see farther than fathers. A mother carries a child for 9 months and above and bear a child. The child in most cases suck from the mother's breast. The place of a mother in the life of a child is way beyond being the "head of the family". A happy and peaceful woman will make a good home for everyone to live in. Thief when see thief know say who him see na thief.

A father can lust after the beauty of the lady the son presents but the mother through her intellect knows and sees deeper through some little tests she will lay down for the lady.

I was told of a story that the son of a certain woman brought a lady to show the mother so while they were seated the mother brought broom and started sweeping, so when she get to where the lady was seated she (lady) will stand and move to another place and when the mother was done she (mother) brought food and the lady ate little because she didn't like the food and she didn't carry the plates until the mother did and washed the plates.

So when the son visited the mother again (alone this time), the mother told the son not to marry the lady that the lady cannot take care of him and also her(the mother).

You see, these women have instincts to discern in most cases a lady with good character.

Thank you.

If you’re old enough to marry you’re old enough to tell your parents to Bleep off. They don’t get to dictate your decisions.

Eeyah.. u must still be very young. U will understand as time goes.. A woman has more say in things like that-- home Affairs-- than a man simply because while d man is d head, a woman will raise sọ much dust if she is uncomfortable with happenings in that area whereas a man can still keep it cool most times even if he is not.

Zonefree:

I was enjoying your dad's words of wisdom until I get to this part. Why must you consider your mum's decision first before settling down with your prospective wife? Is your mum the head of the family? Why must your dad delegate his position to the woman he called his wife?

Malocity:


Mothers see farther than fathers. A mother carries a child for 9 months and above and bear a child. The child in most cases suck from the mother's breast. The place of a mother in the life of a child is way beyond being the "head of the family". A happy and peaceful woman will make a good home for everyone to live in. Thief when see thief know say who him see na thief.

A father can lust after the beauty of the lady the son presents but the mother through her intellect knows and sees deeper through some little tests she will lay down for the lady.

I was told of a story that the son of a certain woman brought a lady to show the mother so while they were seated the mother brought broom and started sweeping, so when she get to where the lady was seated she (lady) will stand and move to another place and when the mother was done she (mother) brought food and the lady ate little because she didn't like the food and she didn't carry the plates until the mother did and washed the plates.

So when the son visited the mother again (alone this time), the mother told the son not to marry the lady that the lady cannot take care of him and also her(the mother).

You see, these women have instincts to discern in most cases a lady with good character.

Thank you.

Is he is marrying a wife or a care giver?

Whilst it's ideal for your mum to like your wife I don't think it should be the deciding factor for whether you marry her or not.

I'd like to think a lot of parents want the best for their kids but they aren't necessarily always right about everything. Some parents' reasons for disliking their child's partner can actually be unreasonable.

Last last it's up to you, I'm not privy to the dynamics of your family

Your mum is not the basis of a healthy happy and successful marriage,

Your mum isn't expected to like your wife, she is to accept your choice and tolerate her, because she will not be in the marriage with both of you, she will only chip in once in a while when her advices are needed and her presence is very necessary.

misreal:
I don't even understand your write up

The summary is that women wahala too much .....they make everything about them

It is your home and the respect your parents have for you will determine if they choose to like your wife or otherwise. If your parents realize it is your home, they sure wouldn't have a choice other than liking your wife however, they will surely tell you their reservations which is for you to think if it is worth considering or not.

He is right. That's wisdom though if your parent love you very much, they wouldn't have problem loving your woman except if she is not well mannered

daboy18:
I asked him what will he do if I marry a woman he doesn't like . He said he doesn't have a problem with that but my mum will have a problem with it. I asked him why, he said If he doesn't like the woman and I love her . I can go ahead and marry her because my happiness matter he will accept her but if my mum doesn't like her and I marry her against her wish. I will not enjoy the marriage my wife will suffer the consequences. He gave me an example of my mum and his mum he said do you know why your mum and grandmother have the greatest bond I said no he said it is because my mother was his mother favourite from the beginning that's why my grandmother is free to come over and stay in the house as long as she want and there will no be no fight between them. But if she didn't like her from the beginning he don't think he would have married her because he didn't want her to suffer. He told me again if you marry a girl that your mother doesn't like she will become her worst enemy and she will never visit your house and your wife will have no peace knowing that her mother in law hates her so much. Your children will never bond with their grandmother. I ask him when I'm ready for marriage should I ask her to find me a woman of her choice so they will be no problem. He said she or he doesn't have the right to choose a wife for me they can only direct me with the type of woman i should marry so I will not marry the wrong one. He said if I ever find one I should consider my mum decision first not his . Is my dad right or wrong? Sorry I don't know how to explain this better I hope you will understand me better and give me good advice ?

this doesnt work anymore my dear. It is an old archaic mentality. What guarantee that the woman your mum loves is the best for you in terms of happiness and longetivity. My mother never wanted me to marry my wife, infact she never came to the wedding but now i have been married for 6 years and my mother adores my union.

daboy18:
I asked him what will he do if I marry a woman he doesn't like . He said he doesn't have a problem with that but my mum will have a problem with it. I asked him why, he said If he doesn't like the woman and I love her . I can go ahead and marry her because my happiness matter he will accept her but if my mum doesn't like her and I marry her against her wish. I will not enjoy the marriage my wife will suffer the consequences. He gave me an example of my mum and his mum he said do you know why your mum and grandmother have the greatest bond I said no he said it is because my mother was his mother favourite from the beginning that's why my grandmother is free to come over and stay in the house as long as she want and there will no be no fight between them. But if she didn't like her from the beginning he don't think he would have married her because he didn't want her to suffer. He told me again if you marry a girl that your mother doesn't like she will become her worst enemy and she will never visit your house and your wife will have no peace knowing that her mother in law hates her so much. Your children will never bond with their grandmother. I ask him when I'm ready for marriage should I ask her to find me a woman of her choice so they will be no problem. He said she or he doesn't have the right to choose a wife for me they can only direct me with the type of woman i should marry so I will not marry the wrong one. He said if I ever find one I should consider my mum decision first not his . Is my dad right or wrong? Sorry I don't know how to explain this better I hope you will understand me better and give me good advice ?

Your dad is right to an extent because marriage is about women

You need your mum approval to just have a good family bound with your wife and your siblings

They don't have to choose for you, but you bring your girl home leave her with your mum to access her for you

What you didn't see in her attitude in one year, your mum will discover it in less than 24hrs

A good and well behaved wife gives her husband absolute peace