Hi guys,

Happy weekend to you all! I just moved to the UK with myself and my family in Oct last year
as my wife is doing her masters in one of the unis in london here. There is something that
in a way wasnt bothering me before, but now I seem to be bothered and based off of the fact
that this country does not allow men exercise some sort of rightful move here, I am limited
to the decisions and actions I cant make or take.

So my wife have been friends with this 50 year old course mate, they talk on the phone
for minutes, sometimes hours, I noticed she always put the call on speaker just so I could hear
the content of their discussion. This became frequent, though at a time I wasnt bothered, so one day
I asked her that do you know if I was the one that was schooling and I had a female married frien
who is 50 years old, you would have started questioning me and telling me how uncomfortable
you are with the way we always talk, she was like oh well thats true, but that as long
as it is school discussion and thats it. I was like oh well I doubt you would
mind even if you know its just assignment discussion she said oh well, she doesnt trust her
gender that she would be observant. She now said that this her classmate that nothing can
ever be between them, that he's 50, I was like when did u hear a 50year old Nigerian man does
not have penis, and that anytime they talk, she always put it on speaker so I can hear that it is only school
stuffs they talk about. I was like thats not the issue, that sometimes familiarity
breeds contempt.

To cut the long story short as to why I started feeling uncomfortable. The dude called as early as 5mins to 8am
early in the morning when we are trying to prep the kids for school, she had gone to drop the kids but her phone
was at home, I picked and told him she had gone for school runs, he quickly said oh sorry for disturbing and hung up.
Secondly, that very day, I had stepped out, on gettig back, I pressed the bell tire, so tey my hand begin dey pain me, she didnt open
the door, luckily for me the front porch door was opened so i gained entrace through there, lo and behold
she was in kitchen where the bell could be loudly heard but she was on call with this same dude
and that made her not hear me. 3rdly I had worked overnight and I got home to rest, she then told me that she needs
to get to the library, that they both have an assignment to do together, that she will be back in 2hours, I was now like
why didnt u guys plan out a time, I needed to rest and ur friend just called
without a proper timing that u should start coming. She left and I had to use sleepy eyes
to take care of the kids that morning. Now am on the verge of sitting her down and
have a dialogue with her that I have finally figured out that her close friendhsip with this person
seems not to go down well with me, I know some people will call me simp or weak man, but being very pragmatic in halding
issues like this is foremost, besides most women here seem to maturally exhibit that
sense of freedom and i can make decisions without u kinda thing, and I truly dont want to get in the way of that.

Tricky situation considering the fact that you are in the UK and things may easily get out of hand...

Truth is , don't let anyone deceive you, there is almost nothing you can do to stop your attention seeking wife with an itchy clitoris to stop talking with that 50 year old Nigerian man that may still have the dick of 23 year old pornnnn star with the help of enhancement...



All I can say is accept my condolences to your young marriage in a foreign land...

Too tough

The next time you get to the dude then tell him you are not comfortable with him burging your woman,tell school discussion should be left at school and for him to be extending it outside school hours,talk to your wife about it afterwards.

Heart of men towards women especially when the woman is not related to them by blood.

The man has a target. QED!

She's going gradually.

When you take a woman abroad, they grow wings

jahsharon:
When you take a woman abroad, they grow wings

yeah you're right

Dicey

Should tell you to invite the man to your house?

Your wife is the problem not the man.

She doesn't regard you else, she would have made it clear to the man that she is committed to her marriage and set boundaries with him

You know what they say about bestie and shifting pants ?

Act fast before it gets to that stage(that's if it hasn't already )

How to act ?
1, stop taking it lightly with her
2, pray 00:00 against the works of the devil against your home(this might sound stupid, but trust me....it works)
3, report her to people she holds in high esteem.

does she still find you attractive? No ? beef up

Good luck

Whenever a man Is seeing some funny characters between her wife/fiancee/girlfriend with another man, in which she still has effontary to confront and challenge husband back......the husband should know that the relationship with such woman is almost over, unless if such man is ready to change role as head and start playing wife role.

Na all These stories dey fear me to marry from Nigeria.

It's slowly but surely moving from coursemate to fuckmate. It's just a matter of time. To say your wife is thoughtless and irresponsible is to state the obvious. Unfortunately for you, you are in a clime where can hardly do wrong.

SmellingAnus:
Tricky situation considering the fact that you are in the UK and things may easily get out of hand...

Truth is , don't let anyone deceive you, there is almost nothing you can do to stop your attention seeking wife with an itchy clitoris to stop talking with that 50 year old Nigerian man that may still have the dick of 23 year old pornnnn star with the help of enhancement...



All I can say is accept my condolences to your young marriage in a foreign land...

Did he ask you to speak this way about his wife?

OP if you’re concerned, that’s more than enough justification to sit her down and talk to her.
Whether anything has the potential to happen between them or not is irrelevant. The fact that it makes you uncomfortable is enough reason for her to stop.

Chief, I'd advise you not to table your matter on Nairaland. This street is filled with children and vile entities. They'll rubbish your wife and call her all sorts of derogatory names. Please, honor the sanctity of your union.

cococandy:


Did he ask you to speak this way about his wife?

Such utter disrespect towards someone's wife. Coming from someone who's probably a teenager studying for jamb exam.

WhisperedNoise:


Such utter disrespect towards someone's wife. Coming from someone who's probably a teenager studying for jamb exam.

indeed

See! There's nothing like "Just friends" between a man and a woman.

As long as there is constant communication, regular dates and awkward meetings between both parties, there would be emotional attachment, lust, sexual desires and most likely sex itself.

You should know that no 50 year old man would waste his time on a married woman if he doesn't have any sinister motive. I mean there are countless single girls right there on campus, why go after a married woman, is he trying to babysit her or that?

But the problem here isn't from the 50 year old man, it's from your wife. She's married and she should know better. She should know that it's against her marital vows to give unnecessary attention to a male course mate even after her husband has cautioned her against it.

My advice...put your feet on the ground and talk to her. Tell her you don't feel comfortable anymore with her relationship towards that man, open up to her about how you feel and remind her that she's married and has an obligation to her home... finally, tell her to severe all ties she has with him.

If she picks up a quarrel with you in defense of the man, and refuses to cutoff communication from him, you just have to accept the sad reality that your wife has fallen in love with him and would sooner or later cheat on you with him. (That's if she isn't even cheating already)

phorget:
The next time you get to the dude then tell him you are not comfortable with him burging your woman,tell school discussion should be left at school and for him to be extending it outside school hours,talk to your wife about it afterwards.

I cant call the guy, even if i come across his call when he calls and shes not there to pick, i wont , it seems somehow,.

coldzobo:
Your wife is the problem not the man.

She doesn't regard you else, she would have made it clear to the man that she is committed to her marriage and set boundaries with him

You know what they say about bestie and shifting pants ?

Act fast before it gets to that stage(that's if it hasn't already )

How to act ?
1, stop taking it lightly with her
2, pray 00:00 against the works of the devil against your home(this might sound stupid, but trust me....it works)
3, report her to people she holds in high esteem.

does she still find you attractive? No ? beef up

Good luck

Oh well there are certain things I cant do from the listed. I already have set the boundary with her, after the day she didnt hear the bell ring I told her that she needed to cut down on the calls, and yea it did, and it eas obvious,. However not until they had the library appointment.
Yes she does still find me attractive. Infact she still checks on me to see if am not toasting someone else.

cococandy:
OP if you’re concerned, that’s more than enough justification to sit her down and talk to her.
Whether anything has the potential to happen between them or not is irrelevant. The fact that it makes you uncomfortable is enough reason for her to stop.

Coco, we were talking about something and I mentioned the issue to her, she was like its just assignment na, and nothing else. I didn't further the talk, am just waiting for another day when the same will be arranged then I can make my stand known.

WhisperedNoise:
Chief, I'd advise you not to table your matter on Nairaland. This street is filled with children and vile entities. They'll rubbish your wife and call her all sorts of derogatory names. Please, honor the sanctity of your union.

Its not like her identity is known, and I dont care what anybody that says condescending words towards her here. My own is to listen to people that have proper advise to dish.

ldon444:


Oh well there are certain things I cant do from the listed. I already have set the boundary with her, after the day she didnt hear the bell ring I told her that she needed to cut down on the calls, and yea it did, and it eas obvious,. However not until they had the library appointment.
Yes she does still find me attractive. Infact she still checks on me to see if am not toasting someone else.

You're telling me she wants to keep you in check while she runs wild ?

women

Baba don dey chop ur wife on steady

ldon444:

Coco, we were talking about something and I mentioned the issue to her, she was like its just assignment na, and nothing else. I didn't further the talk, am just waiting for another day when the same will be arranged then I can make my stand known.

Which kain assigment dem no fit do via zoom or skype? Make I talk before I spoil your marriage

This is a battle you cannot win in the UK, pray to God about it and tell God to take control and don't even discuss with anybody else as they will make it worse for you. If your wife does not change, know that God has better plans for you at the end of the tunnel.

At this point, you just need to let her know you are not comfortable with the incessant calls. Also, try to engage your wife more as abroad can be a bit lonely. Perhaps, she thinks that's a coping mechanism for the boredom.

.

Klass99:


For real? This is like music to my ears, I think more Naija men should japa to the UK with their wives/family, seeing as the UK is capable of turning them into praying men and prayer warriors.

You know back home in Naija it is wives/women who mostly do the praying. They pray for their husbands not to cheat, they pray for their marriages not to breakdown, they pray for hubby's success at work or in business, they pray for the kids, they pray for practically everything....

While the men/husbands who are supposedly the head of the home and spiritual head of the family as God planned it, do little to no praying at all, leaving it to their wives alone, instead of pulling their weight in that department as well.

I really like how the UK turns the tables around, na pepper dem tinz and e dey sweet me .

A wife too can go through such if the wife was the one that has come to join her husband over here, so it can be both ways if satan wants to join in the marriage.

Na wa ooo.

ldon444:


I cant call the guy, even if i come across his call when he calls and shes not there to pick, i wont , it seems somehow,.

Dey there dey play!. You never ready