A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.” The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves. “What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!” Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. “Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?” The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!”


It's Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right at center ice. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. "No" says the neighbor. "The seat is empty." "This is incredible," said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Stanley Cup and not use it?" The neighbor says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Stanley Cup we haven't been to together since we got married." "Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. That's terrible, But couldn't you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?" The man shakes his head. "No,” he says. “They're all at the funeral."
lol

On a passenger flight, the pilot comes over the public address system as usual and to greet the passengers. He tells them at what altitude they’ll be flying, the expected arrival time, and a bit about the weather, and advises them to relax and have a good flight, Then, forgetting to turn off the microphone, he says to his co-pilot, "What would relax me right now is a cup of coffee and a Mouth Gig." All the passengers hear it. As a stewardess immediately begins to run toward the cockpit to tell the pilot of his slip-up, one of the passengers stops her and says "Don’t forget the coffee!"



China has a population of a billion people. One billion. That means even if you’re a one in a million kind of guy, there are still a thousand others exactly like you. (A. Whitney Brown)

[color=#990000][/color]

Excuse me

wat dear?

Sorry to say but is this actually a joke

Expected somefin better

The first only made a lil' sense

Hmmmm ok
I promise to do better tommorrow, k?

yinkalink:

Hmmmm ok
I promise to do better tommorrow, k?

Hoping so.don't wanna see ya copy studio or bin crapgbo styles of jokes

yinka you try o
but i stopped reading half way

and please dont bother to ask why

She wont jxt stop to amaze me!

Nice collection Wifey!!

^^@YINKA

I prefer a hubby that'll tell me the truth about what he feels about me than one (eg. EL Guopa) that glorifies and praises me even when I release gas outta my buttocks.

jackpot:

^^@YINKA

I prefer a hubby that'll tell me the truth about what he feels about me than one (eg. EL Guopa) that glorifies and praises me even when I release gas outta my buttocks.

this is what u get when u throw d door open to all, filth n all sorts find their wae in

El Guapo:

She wont jxt stop to amaze me!

Nice collection Wifey!!

thanks dear but am afraid av lost my touch

First time is always difficult . Nice try

Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day. "My name is Billy. What's yours?" asked the first boy. "Tommy," replied the second. "My Daddy's an accountant. What does your Daddy do for a living?" asked Billy. Tommy replied, "My Daddy's a lawyer." "Honest?" asked Billy. "No, just the regular kind", replied Tommy.



A man was chosen for jury duty who really wanted to be dismissed from serving. He tried every excuse he could think of but none of them worked. On the day of the trial, he decided to give it one more shot. As the trial was about to begin, he asked if he could approach the bench.

"Your Honor," he said, "I must be excused from this trial because I am prejudiced against the defendant. I took one look at the man in the blue suit with those beady eyes and that dishonest face and I said 'He's a crook! He's guilty!' So, your Honor, I cannot possibly stay on this jury!"

With a tired annoyance the judge replied, "Get back in the jury box, you fool. That man is the defendant's lawyer."



A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense: "My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offence committed by his limb."

"Well put," the judge replied. "Using your logic, I sentence the defendant's arm to one year's imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses." The defendant smiled. With his lawyer's assistance he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out.
lol





A doctor vacationing on the Riviera met an old lawyer friend and asked him what he was doing there. The lawyer replied, "Remember that lousy real estate I bought? Well, it caught fire, so here I am with the fire insurance proceeds. What are you doing here?" The doctor replied, "Remember that lousy real estate I had in Mississippi? Well, the river overflowed, and here I am with the flood insurance proceeds." The lawyer looked puzzled. "Gee," he asked, "how did you start the flood?"
lol



A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice. After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, "What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you're out of the office?"

"I give it to them," replied the lawyer, "and then I send them a bill." The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try. The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepared the bills. When he went to place them in his mailbox, he found a bill from the lawyer.

Mr.Bones:

wat dear?

can you explain it to moi privately pls

ao?
where?
what?

yinkalink:

ao?
where?
what?

i don't get you.
here abi u wan carry me go Pluto shoir
The joke

Found the last sets of jokes laughable.

^^ then i am sorry for u cause your sense of homour is long expired

Mr.Bones:

i don't get you.
here abi u wan carry me go Pluto shoir
The joke

U‘re d one confusing me jo

@araregem,er, is dat good or bad?
Laughable?

LmaO @ Lawyer's Jokes!

Baby i dont fink u've lost ya finishing touches, its jxt like the Torres situation, all u need is a crafty playmaker and am here to help u Out!

Remember 'Form is temporal whilst Class is permenant'!

Yinka, it's good.

Mr.Bones:

^^ then i am sorry for u cause your sense of homour is long expired

I don't understand you oh

ARareGem:



I don't understand you oh

Understanding it will be pointless.

Exits Thread

Lol

Yinka, you try now give me five jor

^^you must have inhaled laughing-gas cos me I don't think the joke is even 1 percent funny. _{*hisses in Al-Qaeda*}