Please I submitted my personal statement for Coventry university and the University responded that what I submitted is not acceptable without giving me the actual reason why it was not accepted.
I'm confused. Please guys help me out.
What could be the issue

You most probably didn't address the important things required in it.

Post it here. No one can advice you without seeing it.

Ozchidiebere:
Please I submitted my personal statement for Coventry university and the University responded that what I submitted is not acceptable without giving me the actual reason why it was not accepted.
I'm confused. Please guys help me out.
What could be the issue

Below is the personal statement.

Coventry University
Priory Street
Coventry CV1 5FB
Telephone +44(0)2476152152
Fax +44(0)2476152175
www. Coventry.ac.uk/international

PERSONAL STATEMENT
As graduate degrees have become more significant in today’s employment market, finding strategies to stand out and offer a competitive advantage has become increasingly imperative. This is why I have opted to leave my home country and pursue a graduate degree in your reputable institution: Coventry University, where I will be exposed to a world-class educational system and gain experiences while engaging with various students from across the world in a western environment. This exposure will offer me a significant advantage in my profession.
My wish to further my knowledge in the discipline of Terrorism, International Crime and Global Security in your reputable university is primarily, borne out of my found love for people behavioural management and security in homes, work places, public places and most especially among international organizations and communities as well. My love and immense passion for the course:- Terrorism, International Crime and Global Security particularly rose to great heights during the period I did my Industrial Training exercise in Nigeria Police Force, Rivers state Police Headquarters Port Harcourt. I gained a wide range of experience in the application of ideas, concepts, theories, models and crime deterrent mechanisms to address everyday security problems or situations in workplaces, in homes, in international security relations and cooperation and in global security at large. This was where I found the desire to study Terrorism, International Crime and Global Security further especially in a first rate university and in an European land where I will have the privilege to meet other international students and researchers, in order to gain further required exposure in the field.
I am very drawn to a career that involves working with other people.
I chose to study Intelligence and Security Study in my first degree as the attraction of these subjects lies in it’s ability to make me see life more objectively and critically. Intelligence and Security Study helps me understand the behavior of people. Studying Terrorism, International Crime and Global Security at higher level will provide me with much deeper insight into complex global security issues and the ability to develop and solutions using my own initiative.
After completing my studies, I plan to return to my home country, as this will make me a sought after security personnel and hence very employable in the field in Nigeria and continent of Africa at large. Since security personnel with an international graduate degrees are in high demand, I believe that the proposed program will assist me in gaining attractive career chances in reputable organizations. I am confident that the program will prepare me in completing my long-term career goals.

TWoods:
Post is here. No one can advice you without seeing it.

Coventry University
Priory Street
Coventry CV1 5FB
Telephone +44(0)2476152152
Fax +44(0)2476152175
www. Coventry.ac.uk/international

PERSONAL STATEMENT
As graduate degrees have become more significant in today’s employment market, finding strategies to stand out and offer a competitive advantage has become increasingly imperative. This is why I have opted to leave my home country and pursue a graduate degree in your reputable institution: Coventry University, where I will be exposed to a world-class educational system and gain experiences while engaging with various students from across the world in a western environment. This exposure will offer me a significant advantage in my profession.
My wish to further my knowledge in the discipline of Terrorism, International Crime and Global Security in your reputable university is primarily, borne out of my found love for people behavioural management and security in homes, work places, public places and most especially among international organizations and communities as well. My love and immense passion for the course:- Terrorism, International Crime and Global Security particularly rose to great heights during the period I did my Industrial Training exercise in Nigeria Police Force, Rivers state Police Headquarters Port Harcourt. I gained a wide range of experience in the application of ideas, concepts, theories, models and crime deterrent mechanisms to address everyday security problems or situations in workplaces, in homes, in international security relations and cooperation and in global security at large. This was where I found the desire to study Terrorism, International Crime and Global Security further especially in a first rate university and in an European land where I will have the privilege to meet other international students and researchers, in order to gain further required exposure in the field.
I am very drawn to a career that involves working with other people.
I chose to study Intelligence and Security Study in my first degree as the attraction of these subjects lies in it’s ability to make me see life more objectively and critically. Intelligence and Security Study helps me understand the behavior of people. Studying Terrorism, International Crime and Global Security at higher level will provide me with much deeper insight into complex global security issues and the ability to develop and solutions using my own initiative.
After completing my studies, I plan to return to my home country, as this will make me a sought after security personnel and hence very employable in the field in Nigeria and continent of Africa at large. Since security personnel with an international graduate degrees are in high demand, I believe that the proposed program will assist me in gaining attractive career chances in reputable organizations. I am confident that the program will prepare me in completing my long-term career goals.

Yeah, that personal statement is poor. You say zero about the program, what particular disciplines interest you and why. Nothing about your background and how this prepares you for your course. Rather seems that this us just an opportunity for you to get out of your country.

Your back ground, what have you exposed to in your bachelor .

No be everything be wahala , the school had a filled space and won’t be having you , sometimes read in between lines , I know many people who submitted nonsense and got admitted .

Space don finish !!!

you were beating around the bush.

vibrant99:
No be everything be wahala , the school had a filled space and won’t be having you , sometimes read in between lines , I know many people who submitted nonsense and got admitted .

Space don finish !!!

They will be having me