ABOUT ME

I'm a 38 year old independent contractor (albeit faqir/miskin) based in the north (although I'm currently weighing options to move to the south).

Alhamdulillah, everyone describes me as religious and gentle. I'm somewhat conservative (old school) in both religious and worldly matters.

I strive to follow the Qur'an and authentic Hadiths in accordance with the understanding of the early generation of Muslims but I fall short from time to time.

In sha Allah I hope to be a blessing for you and our children, and that we will help each other learn and improve our deen and righteousness.

Don't expect M&B, Hollywood, Bollywood, etc. because my attempts will likely make you die of laughter.

Just like your sibling(s) and/or bestie(s), I will occasionally upset you because I'm human.

Expect weeping, heartaches, sleepless nights, etc. just as our parents, grandparents, and ancestors did.

WHAT I SEEK:

مُسۡلِمَـٰتࣲ مُّؤۡمِنَـٰتࣲ قَـٰنِتَـٰتࣲ تَـٰۤىِٕبَـٰتٍ عَـٰبِدَ ٰ⁠تࣲ سَـٰۤىِٕحَـٰتࣲ ثَیِّبَـٰتࣲ وَأَبۡكَارࣰا

A sweet, nice, joyful, feminine, traditional wife/home maker that is family oriented (not career oriented) and opposed to divorce.

Someone eclectic who loves reading/learning and won't mind homeschooling our kids.

Loyal enough to have my back 100% of the time.

AA genotype with any positive blood group (eg A+, B+, AB+, O+).

More below in sha Allah…

SELECTING A WIFE:

In Islam, a man is given some choice concerning marriage. Allah (SWT) says:

And if ye fear that ye will not deal fairly by the orphans, marry of the women, who seem good to you, two or three or four; and if ye fear that ye cannot do justice (to so many) then one (only) or (the captives) that your right hands possess. Thus it is more likely that ye will not do injustice.
(4:3)

There are certain qualities one must consider however when a man is choosing whom he wants to be his life partner and the mother of his children. The most important qualities are:

Righteousness:

A vital quality in a wife is righteousness. The Prophet (SAW) urged men to seek a woman of faith and piety and indicated that a man attains happiness through marrying her.

“A woman is sought in marriage for four reasons: wealth, social status, beauty, and deen. So seek the one with deen: may you then be successful”
(Al Bukhari & Muslim)

“Let each of you keep a heart that is grateful (to Allah), a tongue that remembers and mentions (Allah, and a believing wife who would assist him in regard to the affairs of the hereafter.”
(Tirmidhi)

“A heart that is grateful (to Allah), a tongue that remembers and mentions (Allah), and a righteous wife who would assist you in the affairs of your life and religion: those are the best treasures for the people.”
(Al Bayhaqi, Tirmidhi)

Happiness or Misery:

A righteous wife is one of the main causes of happiness in this world. An evil wife on the other hand is a major cause of misery:

“There area four sources of happiness and four sources of misery. Among the sources of misery. Among the sources of happiness are:

1) A good wife who pleases you when you look at her; and when you are away, you trust her in regard to herself and your property.”

2) An easy ride that enables you to catch up with your companions.

3) A house that is spacious and of many facilities.

4) A good neighbour.

And among the sources of misery are:

1) An evil wife that viewing her dismays you, and who uses her tongue against you; and when you are away from her, you would not trust her in regard to herself or your property.

2) A stubborn ride that if you whip it would tire you, and if you leave it alone you would not be able to catch up with your companions.

3) A tight house or limited facilities.

4) An evil neighbour.”
(Al Hakim, verified hasan by al-Albani)

Good Character:

One should seek a wife who is known to be a good character and has been raised in a good moral atmosphere.

“A woman is (usually) married for one of three qualities: she is married for her wealth; she is married for her wealth; she is married for her beauty; or she is married for her religion. So take the one of religion and manners-may your right hand then be prosperous.”
(Verified authentic by al-Albani)

A woman of low moral standards (i.e. loose and promiscuous in dealing with men, dubious conduct and questionable chastity) should be avoided, even if she had other attractive qualities such as wealth and beauty.

“There are three individuals that, when they supplicate to Allah (aswj), their supplication is not answered: A man who has a woman of bad character(dayuyuth) and he does not divorce her, a man to whom another man owes money and he does not have witnesses over him, and a man who gives money to a weak minded person”.
(Verified authentic by al-Albani)

Virginity:

Virginity is not a condition for marriage but is a recommended quality – provided that one has both options and that the women he is considering are equal in other respects. Virginity then becomes a weighing factor for a number of reasons.

Jabir Bin Abdullah (RA) reported that when his father died, he left behind 9 girls that Jabir had to look after. Soon after that, Jabir married a non virgin, and when Prophet (SAW) met him he asked him “Have you married, O Jabir?” He replied “Yes”. He asked him “Is she a virgin or a non virgin?” He then said: “Shouldn’t you have considered a virgin who plays with you and you with her, and she laughs with you and you with her.” Jabir replied “Indeed my father ‘Abdullah died leaving many daughters. I did not want to add to them another young girl like themselves, so I married a grown woman to take care of them and look after them.” Allah’s Messenger (SAW) then said: “Indeed you have made a good decision. May Allah bless that tremendously for you”.
(Bukhari, Muslim and others)

Ability to bear children:

Since one of the important purposes of marriage is reproduction, it is recommended to marry a younger woman who would normally be more likely to bear many children. In turn, this is more likely to apply to virgins than non virgins.

“Marry virgins, because they have sweeter mouths (talk) and more fertile wombs, and are easier to be satisfied with little wealth.”
(Tabarani, Verified hasan by al-Albani)

A man came to Allah’s Messenger (SAW) and said “I have encountered a woman of honour and beauty, but she can not bear children. Should I marry her?” He said: “No”. After asking two more times, Allahs Messenger (SAW) said:

“Marry the woman who is living and can bear many children, because I will boast of you numbers (on the Day of Resurrection).
(Abu Dawud, An Nasai, Verified authentic by al-Albani)

Loving Attitude:

One should seek to marry a woman who is expected to have a loving and caring attitude toward her husband. This is normally possible to sense from the environment she lives in and her family’s reputation.

“The best of your women are those who are bearers of many children, loving 9to their husbands), comforting and tolerant – provided that they have taqwa of Allah”.
(Al Bayhaqi, verified authentic by al-Albani)

“Your woman who will be of the people f Jannah are those who are loving (to their husbands), bearer of many children and concerned (about their husbands).”
(Ibn Asakir, Tammam ar Razi, verified hasan by al-Albani)

Contentment:

This is an important quality to be sought in a wife. A dissatisfied wife would make her husband miserable and push him to do anything to please her.

“Seek (in marriage) virgins, because they have more fertile wombs, sweeter mouths, less slyness, and are easier to be satisfied with little wealth”
(At-Tabarani, verified authentic by al-Albani)

“Marry virgins! They have sweeter mouths, more fertile wombs, and are more satisfiable with little”
(Ibn Majah, verified to be hasan by al-Albani)

Naivety:

Naivety, simplicity, and innocence of heart are commendable qualities to be sought in a wife, and are more present with lesser experiences in the ways of life.

Beauty:

“A woman is sought in marriage for four reasons: wealth, social status, beauty, and deen. So seek the one with deen: may you then be successful”
(Al Bukhari & Muslim)

Beauty, wealth and prestige are all mentioned as secondary qualities – especially beauty. The Prophet (SAW) said:

“The best of women is that who please him (i.e. her husband) when he looks at her, obeys him when he orders, and does not subject her person or money to what he dislikes.”
(Ahmed, An-Nasai, Al-Hakim, verified authentic by al-Albani)

“The best of women is that who pleases you when you look at her, obeys when you order her, and safeguards you during your absence in regard to herself and your wealth.”
(At-Tabarani, verified to be authentic by al-Albani)

A woman’s appearance being “pleasing” to her husband applies first to pleasing him when he observes her righteousness and obedience to Allah. But it may also apply to pleasing him with her physical beauty. That is why it has been ordained to look at a courted woman.

Compatibility:

A man should seek a wife who is compatible with him, and a woman should seek a husband compatible with her.

“Make a (good) choice for your sperm (i.e. offspring): marry those who are compatible, and get married to them.”
(Ibn Majah, al-Hakim, verified authentic by al-Albani)

Compatibility has two major requirements: deen and character. These two are among the require qualities for a wife. Deen and character may not be compromised and are the focal point for compatibility. A man or woman who is lacking in either of this is a poor candidate and should not be considered. Other secondary compatibility factors are age, language, financial status, family status, national background etc, but none of these can be considered mandatory.

http://soul-scripture..com/2006/08/marriage-quest-for-love-and-mercy-part.html?m=1

AnonyMuslim:
ABOUT ME

I'm a 38 year old independent contractor (albeit faqir/miskin) based in the north (although I'm currently weighing options to move to the south).

Alhamdulillah, everyone describes me as religious and gentle. I'm somewhat conservative (old school) in both religious and worldly matters.

I strive to follow the Qur'an and authentic Hadiths in accordance with the understanding of the early generation of Muslims but I fall short from time to time.

In sha Allah I hope to be a blessing for you and our children, and that we will help each other learn and improve our deen and righteousness.

Don't expect M&B, Hollywood, Bollywood, etc. because my attempts will likely make you die of laughter.

Just like your sibling(s) and/or bestie(s), I will occasionally upset you because I'm human.

Expect weeping, heartaches, sleepless nights, etc. just as our parents, grandparents, and ancestors did.

WHAT I SEEK:

مُسۡلِمَـٰتࣲ مُّؤۡمِنَـٰتࣲ قَـٰنِتَـٰتࣲ تَـٰۤىِٕبَـٰتٍ عَـٰبِدَ ٰ⁠تࣲ سَـٰۤىِٕحَـٰتࣲ ثَیِّبَـٰتࣲ وَأَبۡكَارࣰا

A sweet, nice, joyful, feminine, traditional wife/home maker that is family oriented (not career oriented) and opposed to divorce.

Someone eclectic who loves reading/learning and won't mind homeschooling our kids.

Loyal enough to have my back 100% of the time.

AA genotype with any positive blood group (eg A+, B+, AB+, O+).

More below in sha Allah…

The genotype tho

Bintdawood:



The genotype tho

AS

Dear Akhi, I pray may Allah grants you a righteous spouse and also keep you and myself away from haroom things.

I just want to give you a piece of sincere naseeha on the subject matter.

In Islam, there are rules that guide all the aspects of our life. Corresponding with non mahrom through the internet is haroom. The marriages that are built on such foundation may be doomed to failure.

If you are truly looking for righteous spouse, do follow the due process by speaking out to your Imam, or some righteous brothers in the mosque, and within your community. And if they are able to get you some recommendations, please make sure you propose marriage to her through her Wali.

You should note that happiness is found only in obeying Allaah.

Allaahu h'alam!