I live in America with my wife and 2 daughter. Initially when we got here, we had issues and one of my friend helped me out with some funds which was fully repaid back.

After a while, this friend left his apartment and started squatting with a mutual friend, after a while, they had issues and my wife and I invited him to join us in our apartment for the time being till he is able to sort out his accommodation issues, but this is 5 months now, he is still living with us.

How do we tell him to leave without sounding ungrateful for the previous assistance rendered to us? Again we fear this may lead to us not talking anymore.

Your wife should be in best position to chase him out! Women knw how 2 run dat!

sheldonbbt:
I live in America with my wife and 2 daughter. Initially when we got here, we had issues and one of my friend helped me out with some funds which was fully repaid back.

After a while, this friend left his apartment and started squatting with a mutual friend, after a while, they had issues and my wife and I invited him to join us in our apartment for the time being till he is able to sort out his accommodation issues, but this is 5 months now, he is still living with us.

How do we tell him to leave without sounding ungrateful for the previous assistance rendered to us? Again we fear this may lead to us not talking anymore.

If he is working, get him a reasonable sum to augment whatever he has saved for
accommodation, do not allow your wife to chase him away, you never can tell where the pendulum will swing again tommorow, besides you invited to come stay with you.

It can be difficult to address this situation because you want to be respectful of the assistance your friend provided in the past, while also setting boundaries for your current living arrangements. Here are a few suggestions for how to approach this conversation:

Express gratitude: Make sure to express your appreciation for the help your friend gave you when you first arrived in America. This will show that you recognize and value the assistance he provided and are not ungrateful.

Explain your current situation: Let your friend know that while you understand his current situation, it is not sustainable for him to continue living with you long-term. Explain that you have your own family and need the space for them.

Offer assistance: While you want your friend to leave, you can still offer to help him find a more permanent solution. Offer to help him look for a new apartment or offer to provide references for him if he needs them.

Communicate clearly and directly: The most important thing is to be clear and direct with your friend about your expectations. Don't sugarcoat your message or beat around the bush. It's important to be honest and clear about what you want and what you're comfortable with.

Be prepared for any outcome: It's possible that your friend may not take the news well. He may be hurt or upset, and there's a chance your relationship may be affected. Be prepared for any outcome and try to understand that he is going through a difficult time.

Be empathetic: Remember that your friend is going through a tough time and may not have any other place to stay. Be empathetic and understanding while still being assertive and clear about your boundaries.

In conclusion, having a clear, direct, empathetic and sensitive conversation with your friend, expressing gratitude for the past assistance, explaining your current situation, and offering help in finding a more permanent solution can be the best way to handle the situation. While it may be uncomfortable, it is important to set boundaries in order to maintain a healthy living situation for yourself and your family.