I dont law down the rules in my home. But I am just wondering. I have a relative staying with us for a few months. My husband and this relative are permantely sprawlled out on the sofa. After I while I said it nicely to my husband that I find it hard to get a seat becasue this relative cannot sit in a chair (she has to big spread out with rugs all over her head. I feel guilty now that I said this but its very frustrarting and my Iirsh friends are asking me whats going on? why are they always lying around. I have had to bad my pets from the house cos she doesnt like them. She is a guest but also a family member. My husband said its normal to be always relaxingon the sofa in another relatives home. Pls whats ur take onthis?

I have just lost my job so i think being exposed to this 24-7 is very annoying she wont even go out for a walk. She is a lvely person I personally love her! but nowi feel very bad i said it. Huby said he just mentioned and didnt say I said it. NO she is upstairs in her room allday and I feel worse now

don't understand

That is why, you sometimes need to be inconvenienced, you cannot always have things your way, her lying on the sofa is her way of sitting, and with time she will learn how to create space for others, moreover there is no big deal, anytime you want to seat, either you seat with your hubby or ask her in a polite way to create a space for you, it is not up to what you were complaining to your husband about.

The news here is that Leilah just lost that job we've all been praying she gets.

Sofa,relative yada yada,you are a strong woman Leilah.I know you wud deal with this in your own way,you don't need no advise,go woman!

LMAO

Yes so i shouldnt have said anything, how was I supposed to know that it is normal in nigerian culture to lie on someone elses sofa 24-7

So should I appologize? I have never came across this way. I feel so guilty pitty I didnt know.

Leilah:

Yes so i shouldnt have said anything, how was I supposed to know that it is normal in nigerian culture to lie on someone elses sofa 24-7

I'm sorry, but the bolded is rather funny, you sound like a child laying claim to her ice-cream.  If she sits on the sofa and you want to sit down, ask her in a friendly way to make room for you, or if both of you are in good terms, just give her a friendly shove and sit by her side, or betterstill, sit on the floor close to her and even place your head on her laps or wherever, to create an atmosphere of love and peace. Afterall you say you love her.

Leilah:

Yes so i shouldnt have said anything, how was[b] I supposed to know that it is normal in nigerian culture to lie on someone elses sofa 24-7[/b]

That is so funny

@ Leilah, lying on sofa 24-7 is NOT part of the Nigerian culture! it is an individual thing please get ur fact straight!
Also is it part of the Irish culture to complain about everything and anything?

thank you scoooby1, lke if i was a guest at someones house i mean i would get up and go for a walk she actually is is on the sofa 24-7 no joke I'm serious!!!

Yes my husban says he can go to a friends house and lie on his sofa or anyone else in his families sofa even extended no problem and he could also lie ther with a rug over his head 24-7 ha ha!!!

It is nice to be comfortable, but this person doesnt work or do anything, only eats and lies down. I dont see how thats notmal to do this in someone else house your not paying a penny in.

zayhal:

I'm sorry, but the bolded is rather funny, you sound like a child laying claim to her ice-cream.  If she sits on the sofa and you want to sit down, ask her in a friendly way to make room for you, or if both of you are in good terms, just give her a friendly shove and sit by her side, or betterstill, sit on the floor close to her and even place your head on her laps or wherever, to create an atmosphere of love and peace. Afterall you say you love her.

That is the advise you seek there now. If you did not tell her directly you cannot go and apologize but you can show her in other ways that you are sorry.

Oh Leilah!

Leilah it isnt right for someone to como your house and lie on the sofa 24/7 especially as you just lost your job you then have to deal with seeing her all the time since you are both at home most of the time but if she is leaving anytime soon you could have tolerated her but if she isnt leaving soon its good you told your hubby to talk to her its your house and you like your sofa too !

andromida:

Leilah it isnt right for someone to como your house and lie on the sofa 24/7 especially as you just lost your job you then have to deal with seeing her all the time since you are both at home most of the time but if she is leaving anytime soon you could have tolerated her but if she isnt leaving soon its good you told your hubby to talk to her its your house and you like your sofa too !

Seriously?? what is wrong with someone lying on the sofa 24/7, especially since she just came, sometimes trouble will be lying down, yanga will go and wake it up!!!! , i personally don't see anything wrong in that, do you want her to do anything for you that she is not doing? In my country, we are very free with ourselves and people do not complain on trivial matters. We all know it is your house, remember that house also belongs to your husband, and if he has somebody from his side let them feel free to an extent.

Leilah:

I dont law down the rules in my home. But I am just wondering. I have a relative staying with us for a few months. My husband and this relative are permantely sprawlled out on the sofa. After I while I said it nicely to my husband that [size=18pt]I find it hard to get a seat becasue this relative cannot sit in a chair[/size] (she has to big spread out with rugs all over her head.  I feel guilty now that I said this but its very frustrarting and my Iirsh friends are asking me whats going on? why are they always lying around. I have had to bad my pets from the house cos she doesnt like them. She is a guest but also a family member. My husband said its normal to be always relaxingon the sofa in another relatives home. Pls whats your take onthis?

Guess some people missed that part, eh?

No one is saying she shouldn't spread her fatass on the couch 24/7 but common courtesy demand she sits the fccuk up when other people want to sit down and there's no empty chair.

Soon they will relegate poor Leilah to the hallway where she can watch TV through the peephole.

By the way Leilah. . .who is this woman? Another asylum seeking sister/wife?

@ Sisi_kill, why can't she just ask her to move? It is her house abi she dey fear ni? Now the chic has gone upstairs and she is making trouble again.

@ poster, please make up ur mind! Do u want her to lie on the sofa or stay in her room?

Ah! Blank, you don't know Leilah's history. She needs her husband's permission to go to the bathroom. . .girl has no say in her own home. At least Hubby is still allowing her come into the livingroom, that's why she can see who sprawled out where. Very soon, they will give her a mirror attached to a very long stick so she can watch TV from the driveway.

Sisi_Kill:

Ah! Blank, you don't know Leilah's history. She needs her husband's permission to go to the bathroom. . .girl has no say in her own home. At least Hubby is still allowing her come into the livingroom, that's why she can see who sprawled out where. Very soon, they will give her a mirror attached to a very long stick so she can watch TV from the driveway.

That is a serious situation, but that is not enough for her to pour her annoyance on another, her fight is with her hubby, that lady's mode of sitting is not an issue at all and shouldn't be made one.

How can the actions of someone who lacks common sense not be an issue? If someone needs to be told they should sit up so someone else can sit down, then you don't mince words with them. No matter what Leilah is going through with her husband, she deserves to be comfortable in her own home.

Sisi_Kill:

How can the actions of someone who lacks common sense not be an issue? If someone needs to be told they should sit up so someone else can sit down, then you don't mince words with them. No matter what Leilah is going through with her husband, she deserves to be comfortable in her own home.

But Sisi-kill, i am trying to picture the situation, and i do not see the problem in that, it is simple, if you want to sit down, tell her to move or create a space for you in a polite manner, there is no need of reporting her (the lady) to her husband, only if they are laughing it off, you can laugh over somethings and still be making your point clear.

Believe I understand what you are saying . . .to be quite honest, I don't blame the guest or the husband. I blame Leilah! She has allowed herself to be 3rd class citizen in her own home.

Her husband won't take her to his Nigerian parties because she's not Nigerian enough. . .she accepts it.

There was period when he was dating this asylum seeking Nigerian woman and he didn't even try to hide it from her. . .she accepts

When she used to work and he didn't. . .she paid for everything and woe betide her if she does not cook, yawa will burst. One time she ordered Chinese because she was too tired from to cook and dude almost beat her up. . .she accepts it.

It's not surprising that another woman has taken over her couch while she's wrings her hands in the background trying to figure out whether she should sit on the floor or stand.

The only time she fought back was during the ana.l sexx episode when she couldnt handle the pain!

Sisi_Kill:

Ah! Blank, you don't know Leilah's history. She needs her husband's permission to go to the bathroom. . .girl has no say in her own home. At least Hubby is still allowing her come into the livingroom, that's why she can see who sprawled out where. Very soon, they will give her a mirror attached to a very long stick so she can watch TV from the driveway.

Vintage femnazi.

Sisi_Kill:

Believe I understand what you are saying . . .to be quite honest, I don't blame the guest or the husband. I blame Leilah! She has allowed herself to be 3rd class citizen in her own home.

Her husband won't take her to his Nigerian parties because she's not Nigerian enough. . .she accepts it.

There was period when he was dating this asylum seeking Nigerian woman and he didn't even try to hide it from her. . .she accepts

When she used to work and he didn't. . .she paid for everything and woe betide her if she does not cook, yawa will burst. One time she ordered Chinese because she was too tired from to cook and dude almost beat her up. . .she accepts it.

It's not surprising that another woman has taken over her couch while she's wrings her hands in the background trying to figure out whether she should sit on the floor or stand.

Oh Abasi!!!!!! and is this a marraige??, i do not want to judge but that lady has suffered. GOd help her, i hope that is her husband's sister for real and not some girlfriend shaa that he brought home in the nanme of sistership'

ronkebp:

Seriously?? what is wrong with someone lying on the sofa 24/7, especially since she just came, sometimes trouble will be lying down, yanga will go and wake it up!!!! , i personally don't see anything wrong in that, do you want her to do anything for you that she is not doing? In my country, we are very free with ourselves and people do not complain on trivial matters. We all know it is your house, remember that house also belongs to your husband, and if he has somebody from his side let them feel free to an extent.

yes seriously, why must an adult be told how to behave in someone else's house. would you go to someone's house and spread yourself on their couch? Its a delicate situation if she tells the woman herself she may interprete it as leilah trying to insult her. she talkkd to her hubby who talkd to his relative which is alrite since it seems she is a captive in her own home.

Sisi_Kill:

Ah! Blank, you don't know Leilah's history. She needs her husband's permission to go to the bathroom. . .girl has no say in her own home. At least Hubby is still allowing her come into the livingroom, that's why she can see who sprawled out where. Very soon, they will give her a mirror attached to a very long stick so she can watch TV from the driveway.

at least there is hope to glimpse the T.V

andromida:

yes seriously, why must an adult be told how to behave in someone else's house. would you go to someone's house and spread yourself on their couch? Its a delicate situation if she tells the woman herself she may interprete it as leilah trying to insult her. she talkkd to her hubby who talkd to his relative which is alrite since it seems she is a captive in her own home.

Yeah Andromida, i got it, it is true that some people do not have common sense, but all i was saying is that, that shouldn't have been an issue, there is a way you threat Bleep-ups without alerting third party ( in this case her husband) especially since i just found out that he has an history of being an irresponsible man (no offence ).

Leilah, Can you not sit in the chair, while your hubby and relative sprawl out on the sofa, Or is it a must you have to sit on the sofa,