Hmm, hubby has bn acting funny these days. Then I saw some chats on his phone. Apparently he's bn sleeping around town. He's got no taste, vulnerable cheap girls, gv them stipend (as low as 2k) after sleeping with them. He's got at least 4 which i read there chats, dunno how many there is!
This is d same man that has bn rebuffing my sexual advances of late for various excuses, little did I know he's painting d town white, he's insatiable as if he's just aware of his dick for d first time! He's got sm stupid friends so I know he's under influence.
Surprisingly am at ease, non of those heart-pounding head-breaking feelings, do I need to see a doc?

To d lawyers, Pls how do I go abt d divorce issue, I av an under one son, my hubby is a lawyer, he's not emotionally attached to any of those girls, just Bleep n free so he won't let me go, what can I do so he doesn't influence d divorce. He have a sis am real close with, shd I confide in her or not
Tx

nevanevaland:
Hmm, hubby has bn acting funny these days. Then I saw some chats on his phone. Apparently he's bn sleeping around town. He's got no taste, vulnerable cheap girls, gv them stipend (as low as 2k) after sleeping with them. He's got at least 4 which i read there chats, dunno how many there is!
This is d same man that has bn rebuffing my sexual advances of late for various excuses, little did I know he's painting d town white, he's insatiable as if he's just aware of his dick for d first time! He's got sm stupid friends so I know he's under influence.
Surprisingly am at ease, non of those heart-pounding head-breaking feelings, do I need to see a doc?

To d lawyers, Pls how do I go abt d divorce issue, I av an under one son, my hubby is a lawyer, he's not emotionally attached to any of those girls, just Bleep n free so he won't let me go, what can I do so he doesn't influence d divorce. He have a sis am real close with, shd I confide in her or not
Tx

I understand how you feel about your husband extr marital affairs he engaged himself. But before I would say anything, I want you to sincerely answer these few questions.
Once again I feel sorry for you being cheated!
1. During your courtship, were you aware he does this?
2. Before this occurence, among all these mentioned, which one do you argue and disagree upon mostly (Money, Sex, pesonal interest)
3. If you divorce what's your plan either to remain a single mother or to get married to someone else?
Please, sorry about this, your sincerity may help in the issue at hand. Thnks

In cases like this take a deep breadth, go to the spa for a massage then sit down and weigh your options honestly. Every decision you make whether you divorce him or not.

Do you have enough money because divorce cases isn't cheap
Does his family know about his exploits In town

I don't even know what to say o Jare.

Kanwuliajara
cococandy
efemena

Come put mouth. I'm out

,

SAMBARRY:
In cases like this take a deep breadth, go to the spa for a massage then sit down and weigh your options honestly. Every decision you make whether you divorce him or not.

Do you have enough money because divorce cases isn't cheap
Does his family know about his exploits In town

I don't even know what to say o Jare.

Kanwuliajara
cococandy
efemena

Come put mouth. I'm out

Tx for d input. I av a good job. His family doesn't, he doesn't even know yet! Still cooked him meal before I left for work Ds morning, he suspects nothing.
Some months ago when I saw his flirty chat wt a lady, told d sis, he went bunkers dat I invited third party into his home bla bla. Guess he wants to maintain his saintly perfect husband image to everybody.
Do u think I should tell that his sis?

Deep breaths.

When did you find out?

Before you call a divorce lawyer, do you have a plan, finances, somewhere to stay?

Why not calm down and see what's going on? Is your marriage in danger, can you stand this man, did you like him before you found out? Try and understand your feelings. Then confront him. What's he doing, why and how is he going to fix your marriage? His answers will help you decide how to move forward. If you cannot continue, if his behaviour put you in danger (std) and you have a plan and can be emotionally strong and all you feel is contempt...

If he is remorseful and immediately starts doing EVERYTHING to fix your marriage, rebuild your trust in him and regain your love....

If you hate him but he's rich, get separate bedrooms most nigerian men will have a heart attack before 49.

But this is not your fault. He had problems with you, he should have brought it to you rather than carry his cheating butt to women outside.

nevanevaland:
Hmm, hubby has bn acting funny these days. Then I saw some chats on his phone. Apparently he's bn sleeping around town. He's got no taste, vulnerable cheap girls, gv them stipend (as low as 2k) after sleeping with them. He's got at least 4 which i read there chats, dunno how many there is!
This is d same man that has bn rebuffing my sexual advances of late for various excuses, little did I know he's painting d town white, he's insatiable as if he's just aware of his dick for d first time! He's got sm stupid friends so I know he's under influence.
Surprisingly am at ease, non of those heart-pounding head-breaking feelings, do I need to see a doc?

To d lawyers, Pls how do I go abt d divorce issue, I av an under one son, my hubby is a lawyer, he's not emotionally attached to any of those girls, just Bleep n free so he won't let me go, what can I do so he doesn't influence d divorce. He have a sis am real close with, shd I confide in her or not
Tx

Its funny how you just registered TODAY and this blockbuster of a tale signifies your 1st post on nairaland innit? Anyway enjoy the thing you seek!

Onegai:
Deep breaths.

When did you find out?

Before you call a divorce lawyer, do you have a plan, finances, somewhere to stay?

Why not calm down and see what's going on? Is your marriage in danger, can you stand this man, did you like him before you found out? Try and understand your feelings. Then confront him. What's he doing, why and how is he going to fix your marriage? His answers will help you decide how to move forward. If you cannot continue, if his behaviour put you in danger (std) and you have a plan and can be emotionally strong and all you feel is contempt...

If he is remorseful and immediately starts doing EVERYTHING to fix your marriage, rebuild your trust in him and regain your love....

If you hate him but he's rich, get separate bedrooms most nigerian men will have a heart attack before 49.

But this is not your fault. He had problems with you, he should have brought it to you rather than carry his cheating butt to women outside.

Found out last night.
That's d major problem! How do I know am not in danger of std! Or worst scenario, d girls realise he's just using them (2k, Wat sorta money is dat?) n decide to use juju It's a sad story honestly, he's even sleeping wt divorcee n married woman. I think he's deranged.
Can't believe I didn't kill him before daybreak!

funlord:


Its funny how you just registered TODAY and this blockbuster of a tale signifies your 1st post on nairaland innit? Anyway enjoy the thing you seek!

Oh Pls, do u expect me to be dumb enough to use an ID he knows? I also have friends here that knows my id so....

nevanevaland:

Oh Pls, do u expect me to be dumb enough to use an ID he knows? I also have friends here that knows my id so....

In that case based on "your story" I think you should be looking for a doctor instead of a lawyer right now! Go get tested 1st, that should be your immediate priority!

nevanevaland:

Tx for d response.

1. None that am aware of
2. We argue about none.
Money: he's a very generous and caring husband, I give him dat. He's not interested in my money
Sex: we av a wild sex life, always hot
Personal interest: we understand n compromise wen necessary
3. I have no plan of remarrying, am OK with my son

Madam, its clear from your response that you indeed have a wonderful and caring husband, that both of you have a perfect marriage in bed and in home generallym. I'm only interested in the PERSONAL INTEREST YOU OFTEN COMPROMISE. If its not a serious thing like hving a child outside your marriage or likes of such that may later bring a threat to your marriage, I would advice you seek family intervention on this matter. Divorce is not advisble yet in this matter, many alternative problems solving are open to you(both) to make use of. Until when all efforts made has failed, tht you may seek divorce.
Before now you were "miss"
Now your are "Mrs"
Did you even remember all you went through before your title changed to MRS; as a lady you'll understand better.
Beside, I'm not soliciting nor support your hubby's cheating on you, but men are just too weak before their wives. You caan use your powers to make things right and with the help of God.
Remember: What God has joined together...let NO MAN not even a woman put assunder.
Please I'm sorry you're been cheated. Forgive him, approach him, sort out and iron out things and make your marriage work, make your son happy having you as a wonderful parents.
Stay Blessed

nevanevaland:

Found out last night.
That's d major problem! How do I know am not in danger of std! Or worst scenario, d girls realise he's just using them (2k, Wat sorta money is dat?) n decide to use juju It's a sad story honestly, he's even sleeping wt divorcee n married woman. I think he's deranged.
Can't believe I didn't kill him before daybreak!

Oh honey, don't. Go pour yourself a drink (alcoholic, even if you don't drink). Let your nerves calm down. Say nothing for now (your emotions are raging justifiably). Weekend, during football, turn to him calmly and mention the names of some of the regular ho's he meets with and say sweetly "honey do you mind using a condom, since I'm also careful? " And say nothing after!

Be quiet. If he shouts, stay calm. Just tell him he has lost your respect, your trust and any goodwill and you will not go around carrying happy face and dying on the inside to preserve his public persona of a good husband. Be very calm when doing this. Let's see what he says and does.

An angry woman calmly speaking to a man terrifies them.

or... you can let everyone guilt you into believing it's your fault and use religion and culture to drown
you into swallowing and shutting up and bottling it up to the point where you take it out on your child or friend or coworker or one innocent pepper seller or housemaid and then they will come and punish you for being "bitter" later.

shoksimba:

Madam, its clear from your response that you indeed have a wonderful and caring husband, that both of you have a perfect marriage in bed and in home generallym.
Did you even remember all you went through before your title changed to MRS; as a lady you'll understand better.
Beside, I'm not soliciting nor support your hubby's cheating on you, but men are just too weak before their wives. You caan use your powers to make things right and with the help of God.

@OP, Have you confronted him yet with the evidence(s) ? No matter how bad it is, he deserves his day in court so Please before you think of divorce,separation or whatever, ASK him first and listen to whatever he has to say.

Can you forgive and move on if he apologizes and is truly repentant?
Would you be better off divorced ?

shoksimba:

Madam, its clear from your response that you indeed have a wonderful and caring husband, that both of you have a perfect marriage in bed and in home generallym. I'm only interested in the PERSONAL INTEREST YOU OFTEN COMPROMISE. If its not a serious thing like hving a child outside your marriage or likes of such that may later bring a threat to your marriage, I would advice you seek family intervention on this matter. Divorce is not advisble yet in this matter, many alternative problems solving are open to you(both) to make use of. Until when all efforts made has failed, tht you may seek divorce.
Before now you were "miss"
Now your are "Mrs"
Did you even remember all you went through before your title changed to MRS; as a lady you'll understand better.
Beside, I'm not soliciting nor support your hubby's cheating on you, but men are just too weak before their wives. You caan use your powers to make things right and with the help of God.
Remember: What God has joined together...let NO MAN not even a woman put assunder.
Please I'm sorry you're been cheated. Forgive him, approach him, sort out and iron out things and make your marriage work, make your son happy having you as a wonderful parents.
Stay Blessed

Thanks a lot, I understand u

ifyalways:
@OP, Have you confronted him yet with the evidence(s) ? No matter how bad it is, he deserves his day in court so Please before you think of divorce,separation or whatever, ASK him first and listen to whatever he has to say.

Can you forgive and move on if he apologizes and is truly repentant?
Would you be better off divorced ?

I'll do that, thanks

If you haven't confronted him about what you found out, how will you spring up the issue of divorce? They no dey do surprise divorce o.
Each person has to know the marriage has come to a point of no return before it gets to divorce.

First things first. Bring the matter to the table.

Goodluck and protect yourself against STDs meanwhile. Just in case you guys do some rounds while you're pretending to be calm and plotting a divorce while he thinks you guys are good.

Onegai:


Oh honey, don't. Go pour yourself a drink (alcoholic, even if you don't drink). Let your nerves calm down. Say nothing for now (your emotions are raging justifiably). Weekend, during football, turn to him calmly and mention the names of some of the regular ho's he meets with and say sweetly "honey do you mind using a condom, since I'm also careful? " And say nothing after!

Be quiet. If he shouts, stay calm. Just tell him he has lost your respect, your trust and any goodwill and you will not go around carrying happy face and dying on the inside to preserve his public persona of a good husband. Be very calm when doing this. Let's see what he says and does.

An angry woman calmly speaking to a man terrifies them.

or... you can let everyone guilt you into believing it's your fault and use religion and culture to drown
you into swallowing and shutting up and bottling it up to the point where you take it out on your child or friend or coworker or one innocent pepper seller or housemaid and then they will come and punish you for being "bitter" later.

My dear I don't trust myself to stay calm o, I can't look at him, and if he says something off like "y were u checking my phone or shit, It might just lead to something else.
Better still can I just calmly do d discussion on phone?

Madam, divorce shouldn't be the case now.

The best you can do is protect yourself from getting infected by abstaining from him until he gets his acts right and also let him show you an STI test result.

Maybe he will get back to his senses when you keep your coochie from him and probably employ the services of a very nice toy.

Now don't give me that I don't like touching myself bullcrap cuz you already have wild sex with him.

Better still, go get yourself a reliable boy toy who doesn't fu*k around like a dog,

cococandy:
If you haven't confronted him about what you found out, how will you spring up the issue of divorce? They no dey do surprise divorce o.
Each person has to know the marriage has come to a point of no return before it gets to divorce.

First things first. Bring the matter to the table.

Goodluck and protect yourself against STDs meanwhile. Just in case you guys do some rounds while you're pretending to be calm and plotting a divorce while he thinks you guys are good.

Okay, thanks

Brandnew2:
Madam, divorce shouldn't be the case now.

The best you can do is protect yourself from getting infected by abstaining from him until he gets his acts right and also let him show you an STI test result.

Maybe he will get back to his senses when you keep your coochie from him and probably employ the services of a very [/b]nice [b][/b]toy[b]

Now don't give me that I don't like touching myself bullcrap cuz you already have wild sex with him.

Better still, go get yourself a reliable boy toy who doesn't fu*k around like a dog,

Lol, u cracked me up, I'll get one from jumia

nevanevaland:

Found out last night.
That's d major problem! How do I know am not in danger of std! Or worst scenario, d girls realise he's just using them (2k, Wat sorta money is dat?) n decide to use juju It's a sad story honestly, he's even sleeping wt divorcee n married woman. I think he's deranged.
Can't believe I didn't kill him before daybreak!

i understand how you feel but You have to calm down please, hurting him will make the issue more complicated.

Firstly, just talk to him and see his reaction. . If he's repentant, you may decide to let go and give him another chance.

Don't tell his sister(atleast not yet). I personally don't support bringing third parties except when both of you can't handle the issue...

It's a problem with a very simple solution.

Just dress up very nice and hot in a sexy night gown.

Perhaps you should add sexy lingeries to your shopping list.

He'll get tempted and then you'll let him know that you already know about his exploits out there.

You will also let him know that you're not going to compromise your health because of his reckless sexual activities.

That will do the trick if you ask me cuz any sensible man should come back to his senses and thread with caution.

You have to insist on him getting a test on a regular basis until you are confident he has turned a new leaf.

SAMBARRY:
In cases like this take a deep breadth, go to the spa for a massage then sit down and weigh your options honestly. Every decision you make whether you divorce him or not.

Do you have enough money because divorce cases isn't cheap
Does his family know about his exploits In town

I don't even know what to say o Jare.

Kanwuliajara
cococandy
efemena

Come put mouth. I'm out

Nne, you feel say this na mata to discuss?

If you have a son that is barely one,then your marriage must be young.Divorce shouldn't be your first solution,try and work on the marriage.
You should confront him about this.Try to be calm while you do and let him know that the marriage can't continue this way.

Hmmmmmmmm
Madam divorce is not the best solution oooi. Why he your husband sleeping with divorced women?, it is because they are lonely and more frustrated.
Confront him first and ask questions, if he doesn't change pls ignore him completely. Erase him from your mind and have the mind that you are living alone even though he is present ( it is not easy to live without them a times ooo) who will see to the generator when it develop a minor problem, your car minor maintenance nko not to talk of home appliances that can just develop minor problem.
I know a married woman that divorced her husband because of infidelity, the same woman no allow another woman husband rest oooi, always sending him messages first thing in the morning..
Pls cool temper oooo, I don't support cheating , I can't stand a cheating husband but single mother no easy oooi.

First and foremost, get screenshots of those messages with the various women and send to your own phone. Also remember to save them on your icloud or Google cloud. Good to know you are still very calm and strategic. Anyhow, the solutions lie with you. Your options include:
1.Discuss and try to work things out, if you can find it in your heart to forgive.
2. Divorce
3. Possibility of an open marriage, afterall eating only egusi soup everyday of your life can be as boring as h*ll.
4.Informing his family with your evidence. This is basically to name and shame him. That might just make you feel a tad better, and might just serve as a deterrent to his philandering ways.
5. E.t.c, heck you have loads of choices to pick from
Whatever you decide to do, think hard and deep without being emotional but more logical.
Good luck.
N:B: You MUST insist you both get screened for HIV and other STIs.

nevanevaland:

Tx for d response.

1. None that am aware of
2. We argue about none.
Money: he's a very generous and caring husband, I give him dat. He's not interested in my money
Sex: we av a wild sex life, always hot
Personal interest: we understand n compromise wen necessary
3. I have no plan of remarrying, am OK with my son

I am not married but I served as a mediator in matrimonial cases at a ministry of justice.Madam,take time out to talk to your husband,let him know the game is up.This is not the time for raised voices and tears.Instead of going through a divorce,you can arrange for marriage counselling for both of you.That way you can air your grievances before a neutral person.I have done a lot of divorce cases,and trust me when I say, work it out.The incident is not enough for you to start considering divorce.The marriage is not irretrievably bad yet.Besides,maybe you are not aware of this,95 percent of nigerian men cheat!that's the plain truth.Its just that most are gurus at covering their tracks well.Your husband was just sloppy about it.If you didn't check his phone,would you have known?Again,its a good thing his lifestyle has been exposed,that's why you have to talk it out.He has to be reminded that there's a high risk of veneral diseases and other attendant consequences of cheating.Depending on how you go about this issue,I am sure he should be able to change his ways.I still insist that you work it out.Thankfully,you agreed that he is a great husband in other areas.So just push divorce far from your mind,and salvage your marriage.If all this fails,then your conscience would be clear that you made an effort to fix it,but he wasn't willing to meet you halfway.God will see you through this.

I think you should divorce him immediately. Divorce him and come and take your well deserved position on nairaland among the frustrated sex starved feminists here! You have no business being married in the first place. Does phone chats equate to cheating? Divorce him and go back to your lesbian ways,sicko!

dinachi:
I think you should divorce him immediately. Divorce him and come and take your well deserved position on nairaland among the frustrated sex starved feminists here! You have no business being married in the first place. Does phone chats equate to cheating? Divorce him and go back to your lesbian ways,sicko!

haba,this is way too mean!She is going through a rough time here,try to be more humane.There's absolutely no need for the name calling.Would you say this to your female relative going through a similar situation?The anonymity of nairaland shouldn't turn you into a verbally abusive person.

nevanevaland:
To d lawyers, Pls how do I go abt d divorce issue, I av an under one son, my hubby is a lawyer, he's not emotionally attached to any of those girls, just Bleep n free so he won't let me go, what can I do so he doesn't influence d divorce. He have a sis am real close with, shd I confide in her or not

if he's not emotionally attached to the girls then it only means explosive sēx is lacking in the bedroom. your husband is only trying to fill the vacuum both of you have managed to create in your marriage.

nevanevaland:

To d lawyers, Pls how do I go abt d divorce issue, I av an under one son, my hubby is a lawyer, he's not emotionally attached to any of those girls, just Bleep n free so he won't let me go, what can I do so he doesn't influence d divorce. He have a sis am real close with, shd I confide in her or not
Tx

Please divorce him. How can he influence divorce? Abeg divorce him

All these threat of "I wan divorce" I wan divorce. Abeg make una dey do am sharply. If possible divorce him before he comes back from work

All these one you are staying, if you out of anger or frustrating attack and injure or kill him, It wont be a case of a cheating husband again. it would be assault, battery or attempted murder and you say he is a lawyer. Fancy a few decades behind bars while your son is somewhere you cant reach