Klass99:


You don ment finish 🤣. But you get a like for making me laugh.

Yes my sister, some friendship no worth am.

Its simple. Don't ask her to leave. Just stop cooking. If you don't cook, she won't see food to eat. I've been in a similar situation before. Women naturally don't like to spend money. Save whatever money you have and let everyone fend for themselves. Trust me it works.

sync:
Dear Nairalanders,
I’m in a dilemma and need your advice
There’s this friend of mine who out of the blue contacted me last year October asking for a favor to come stay at my place a couple of days since she had an interview in Abuja. I allowed in her without hesitation since I thought it was just going to be a few days. Fortunately, she got the job.

When she got the job in October, she asked me to pls allow her stay for two months before getting her place. My people, it’s been five months already and she’s still not making any moves to get her own place.

The problem really is I am currently jobless. She doesn’t contribute anything to the house. I am responsible for our feeding, gas, electricity, everything! And I do not have money. The little money I have is from my generous elder sister who has been my helper since I lost my job. Weekends she sleeps all through while I clean the house. I also do all the cooking. She doesn’t cook.

I am a light sleeper so I get up at any slight movement. This lady gets up between 3 to 4 times every night to use the restroom thus keeping me awake all through the night. This really has a toll on me. During the day she goes to the restroom between 14 to 16 times. She doesn’t contribute to buy foodstuff but she eats 4 times a day

What have I gotten myself into. Please how do I politely ask her to leave without hurting her feelings and savaging the relationship I use to have with her. I am tired, depressed and jobless!

BOBRISKY ?

Isabi4lov:
Are you a male or a female ?

If all your claims are true then, you don't have to POLITELY tell her to leave, you HARSHLY throw her out!

I hate what I don't like!

StrongAlphMale:


New account.
No gender description!
And yet you want us to believe your lies? Oga you seriously need to grow up and stop the useless lies to defend Nigerian girls who are liabilities and parasitic in nature. Which kind SIMP you be?

Madam, please! please! I am already grown so take your own advice and yansh down.

I am telling you it is a human thing. Simple! Try it, try giving your friends accommodation and see what will happen. Useless lies? Yea right! Until it happens to you. Most humans are users. They take advantage of kind people. That's all.

lucky4west:
if i did not have this same experience with a friend way back in 2010/2011 i would have said this was a fairy tale, na me no get job na me still de buy things for house, cook, fill gas etc on top of that my friend come get babe opposite the house, she de come daily...my own babe na once in a while, and when she come my friend go enter bed sharp sharp, na me and my babe go come de for rug...it was not funny anything i said in an attempt to correct my friend will twist it that because it is my house that was why i was saying so so and so....from 2 weeks to a full year! i really hear am then...i just vex one day and said he should leave before i returned from UI(then i had started my PG)...that was the end,..so just tell your friend to leave, infact she is an unfriendly friend, if she hesitate start packing her things out...some folks are like that

@strongAlphmale

Is this person also a lady? The parasite in his story, is it also a lady?does he have gender description? Is it a must to put gender? In a bid to insult women and tag them bad names, you will refuse to admit the truth about human nature and wear a blindfold.

sync:
Dear Nairalanders,
I’m in a dilemma and need your advice
There’s this friend of mine who out of the blue contacted me last year October asking for a favor to come stay at my place a couple of days since she had an interview in Abuja. I allowed in her without hesitation since I thought it was just going to be a few days. Fortunately, she got the job.

When she got the job in October, she asked me to pls allow her stay for two months before getting her place. My people, it’s been five months already and she’s still not making any moves to get her own place.

The problem really is I am currently jobless. She doesn’t contribute anything to the house. I am responsible for our feeding, gas, electricity, everything! And I do not have money. The little money I have is from my generous elder sister who has been my helper since I lost my job. Weekends she sleeps all through while I clean the house. I also do all the cooking. She doesn’t cook.

I am a light sleeper so I get up at any slight movement. This lady gets up between 3 to 4 times every night to use the restroom thus keeping me awake all through the night. This really has a toll on me. During the day she goes to the restroom between 14 to 16 times. She doesn’t contribute to buy foodstuff but she eats 4 times a day

What have I gotten myself into. Please how do I politely ask her to leave without hurting her feelings and savaging the relationship I use to have with her. I am tired, depressed and jobless!

You do not have to be polite, tell her to pack her things and leave your house. Life is not so hard, just say 'you have to leave my house on so so so date'. It is your house and you do not have to give any reason

stankezzy:
For a female to pack into your apartment and u must have been sleeping with her for d 5 months , she is just feeling entitlement mentality, d only thing u should do as a real
man is to politely talk to her ,even if u will contribute some money for her new apartment , please do or else she may end up staying with you permanently, and d longer she stays d more difficult for u to chase her out

Your comment clear my eyes, earlier my fish brain didn't think about dem being in a relationship. It makes perfect sense now. 😉

Poster I see a lot of people are saying you should be careful so she won't go out there and soil your name when you kick her out.
Please do not care about what ever she is going to say it will always come back to bite her in the face.

Look! the lady I spoke about earlier in my experience later went out and started soiling my name. That was someone whom when I buy a wig I will buy her own if I go shopping she must follow and she packs plenty of clothes. I knew God was going to fight for me because you don't bite the finger that feeds you. People came to meet me telling me all the bad things she said about me I told them time will tell. One good Samaritan took her in thinking she was a good person it was not until a few weeks later that one pushed her out after beating her black and blue. The good Samaritan later came to me to apologise for hating me back then when she found out I threw her out.

This is not friendship, simple.

She's a pathetic wicked person, if I'm the one, only my attitude will make you so uncomfortable you had to find your way out.

Okealaaye:
If your friend were appointed Special Adviser to a Governor in May where will your present conduct lead you? I've seen it happen before. Learn to endure. You're complaining because you believe that your friend is lowly. Remember that Nairalanders will not be around when God turns your friend's night to day. Forbear, Ma'am, forbear!

Forbear nonsense!!

If the so called friend can't even contribute and help in the house in the little way she can NOW, what assurance do you have she'll help her out when she becomes governor or SA?

Some people suffer themselves wickedly just because of ''unknown" What ifs.

This is a very very bad advice and I hope Sync lady doesn't listen to it.

VeryWickedMan:
OP what you have there is a Nigeriannus Leecherous commonly known as the Nigerian Woman. They are known to suck the life of their host dry and leave them for dead before moving onto their next prey.

Unfortunately for you, they have no known remedy.

Mard man

I hope u have not sleep with her, if u have done it Repent and chase her out ASAP! A lazy woman that don’t cook and contribute to the house while she is working is wicked!
Call her and give her few weeks to park out!

Okealaaye:
If your friend were appointed Special Adviser to a Governor in May where will your present conduct lead you? I've seen it happen before. Learn to endure. You're complaining because you believe that your friend is lowly. Remember that Nairalanders will not be around when God turns your friend's night to day. Forbear, Ma'am, forbear!

Forbear what biko? If she likes let her be the president, so? With this kind of attitude?? OP is not complaining because she thinks her friend is lowly; in fact b/w the two of them who is more stable financially? Abi you did not hear that she is jobless and the so-called friend has a job; yet common sense did not tell her that she needs to help out with running a home that she has been graciously accepted into. She does not even help with house chores nor cooking; are you seriously kidding me now?? Please she has a stinking attitude and will even be worse by the time she becomes that your Special adviser.

sync:
Dear Nairalanders,
I’m in a dilemma and need your advice
There’s this friend of mine who out of the blue contacted me last year October asking for a favor to come stay at my place a couple of days since she had an interview in Abuja. I allowed in her without hesitation since I thought it was just going to be a few days. Fortunately, she got the job.

When she got the job in October, she asked me to pls allow her stay for two months before getting her place. My people, it’s been five months already and she’s still not making any moves to get her own place.

The problem really is I am currently jobless. She doesn’t contribute anything to the house. I am responsible for our feeding, gas, electricity, everything! And I do not have money. The little money I have is from my generous elder sister who has been my helper since I lost my job. Weekends she sleeps all through while I clean the house. I also do all the cooking. She doesn’t cook.

I am a light sleeper so I get up at any slight movement. This lady gets up between 3 to 4 times every night to use the restroom thus keeping me awake all through the night. This really has a toll on me. During the day she goes to the restroom between 14 to 16 times. She doesn’t contribute to buy foodstuff but she eats 4 times a day

What have I gotten myself into. Please how do I politely ask her to leave without hurting her feelings and savaging the relationship I use to have with her. I am tired, depressed and jobless!

sit her down and tell her she has elapsed her 2 months stay and that she should pack out ASAP......don't joke when saying this oooo.

"I am a light sleeper so I get up at any slight movement. This lady gets up between 3 to 4 times every night to use the restroom thus keeping me awake all through the night. This really has a toll on me. During the day she goes to the restroom between 14 to 16 times. She doesn’t contribute to buy foodstuff but she eats 4 times a day"

She goes to the restroom like that because she drink a lot of water.
Everybody should drink lot of water daily.

On moving out, discuss with her that you need privacy and she should get her apartment as soon as possible.
No easy way to make her move out.

Most people if they get free place to stay in the city, who would like to leave?

sync:
Dear Nairalanders,
I’m in a dilemma and need your advice
There’s this friend of mine who out of the blue contacted me last year October asking for a favor to come stay at my place a couple of days since she had an interview in Abuja. I allowed in her without hesitation since I thought it was just going to be a few days. Fortunately, she got the job.

When she got the job in October, she asked me to pls allow her stay for two months before getting her place. My people, it’s been five months already and she’s still not making any moves to get her own place.

The problem really is I am currently jobless. She doesn’t contribute anything to the house. I am responsible for our feeding, gas, electricity, everything! And I do not have money. The little money I have is from my generous elder sister who has been my helper since I lost my job. Weekends she sleeps all through while I clean the house. I also do all the cooking. She doesn’t cook.

I am a light sleeper so I get up at any slight movement. This lady gets up between 3 to 4 times every night to use the restroom thus keeping me awake all through the night. This really has a toll on me. During the day she goes to the restroom between 14 to 16 times. She doesn’t contribute to buy foodstuff but she eats 4 times a day

What have I gotten myself into. Please how do I politely ask her to leave without hurting her feelings and savaging the relationship I use to have with her. I am tired, depressed and jobless!

Your story doesnt add up. You call her your friend but you cant tell her your mind. Is she your friend truly or someone you are afraid of? How can you have someone like that as a friend yet you cant face her squarely and put her in her place?

Secondly, she is working. You are not, yet you are the one feeding her and paying the bills. How come?

Why does she use the toilet too often? Does she always suffer from running stomach ni or she has diabetes?

sync:
Dear Nairalanders,
I’m in a dilemma and need your advice
There’s this friend of mine who out of the blue contacted me last year October asking for a favor to come stay at my place a couple of days since she had an interview in Abuja. I allowed in her without hesitation since I thought it was just going to be a few days. Fortunately, she got the job.

When she got the job in October, she asked me to pls allow her stay for two months before getting her place. My people, it’s been five months already and she’s still not making any moves to get her own place.

The problem really is I am currently jobless. She doesn’t contribute anything to the house. I am responsible for our feeding, gas, electricity, everything! And I do not have money. The little money I have is from my generous elder sister who has been my helper since I lost my job. Weekends she sleeps all through while I clean the house. I also do all the cooking. She doesn’t cook.

I am a light sleeper so I get up at any slight movement. This lady gets up between 3 to 4 times every night to use the restroom thus keeping me awake all through the night. This really has a toll on me. During the day she goes to the restroom between 14 to 16 times. She doesn’t contribute to buy foodstuff but she eats 4 times a day

What have I gotten myself into. Please how do I politely ask her to leave without hurting her feelings and savaging the relationship I use to have with her. I am tired, depressed and jobless!

The information provided isn't enough to give you an advice on what to do.
Are you guys sexually involved or have you ever been sexually involved?

The only reason I believe you are finding it difficult to send her away is because you have started sleeping with her. Period!

Hmm I'm also facing same problem currently

Hello. Simply calculate half of house rent and full feeding for both of you for the next 5 months and explain to her that henceforth, she will be dropping such and such for monthly expenses. She has been feeding off you for 5 months, explain to her why you also need her to provide feeding for the next 5 months or until u find a job when you both can begin to share expenses EQUALLY! If she is as bad as u claim she is, she will rather leave than pay up. Problem solved.

in my own opinion

1. stop buying stuffs or pay for bills so that you can travel for like 2 weeks . tell her you are travelling and ask her about her plans on getting accommodaion

2. by now your accommodation should be close to expire. its better you shop for anther place and insist she does not come with you

sync:
Dear Nairalanders,
I’m in a dilemma and need your advice
There’s this friend of mine who out of the blue contacted me last year October asking for a favor to come stay at my place a couple of days since she had an interview in Abuja. I allowed in her without hesitation since I thought it was just going to be a few days. Fortunately, she got the job.

When she got the job in October, she asked me to pls allow her stay for two months before getting her place. My people, it’s been five months already and she’s still not making any moves to get her own place.

The problem really is I am currently jobless. She doesn’t contribute anything to the house. I am responsible for our feeding, gas, electricity, everything! And I do not have money. The little money I have is from my generous elder sister who has been my helper since I lost my job. Weekends she sleeps all through while I clean the house. I also do all the cooking. She doesn’t cook.

I am a light sleeper so I get up at any slight movement. This lady gets up between 3 to 4 times every night to use the restroom thus keeping me awake all through the night. This really has a toll on me. During the day she goes to the restroom between 14 to 16 times. She doesn’t contribute to buy foodstuff but she eats 4 times a day

What have I gotten myself into. Please how do I politely ask her to leave without hurting her feelings and savaging the relationship I use to have with her. I am tired, depressed and jobless!

I think this is straightforward affair!
Sat her down and tell her the truth...
Share the expenses starting from rent, food stuffs etc 50/50 if she isn't ready to atleast shoulder between 35% to 40% ask her to go!

All the advice given here makes me feel bad, exact reason Africa is where it is today

Op come clean to her, tell her it’s difficult for you

sync:
Dear Nairalanders,
I’m in a dilemma and need your advice
There’s this friend of mine who out of the blue contacted me last year October asking for a favor to come stay at my place a couple of days since she had an interview in Abuja. I allowed in her without hesitation since I thought it was just going to be a few days. Fortunately, she got the job.

When she got the job in October, she asked me to pls allow her stay for two months before getting her place. My people, it’s been five months already and she’s still not making any moves to get her own place.

The problem really is I am currently jobless. She doesn’t contribute anything to the house. I am responsible for our feeding, gas, electricity, everything! And I do not have money. The little money I have is from my generous elder sister who has been my helper since I lost my job. Weekends she sleeps all through while I clean the house. I also do all the cooking. She doesn’t cook.

I am a light sleeper so I get up at any slight movement. This lady gets up between 3 to 4 times every night to use the restroom thus keeping me awake all through the night. This really has a toll on me. During the day she goes to the restroom between 14 to 16 times. She doesn’t contribute to buy foodstuff but she eats 4 times a day

What have I gotten myself into. Please how do I politely ask her to leave without hurting her feelings and savaging the relationship I use to have with her. I am tired, depressed and jobless!

I don't know if all the details here are true...but one thing I've discovered being a kind person is...

People are ever ready to take advantage of you (even good people).

People who constantly push their luck on your kindness without decorum and any form of remorse are likely no good and will never be any good to you... Even if their life eventually turns out great.

Those kind of people are called OPPORTUNISTS! and they are only out for themselves, so don't hope to reap reciprocity at any time from them (now or much later in the future).

As you can see, they're the type that will have aplenty, but still seek to take from the one who's struggling to get by without batting an eye; so hope on nothing!


With that said.... Kick that leech out!

NEGOTIATE NOTHING!

I see several advice of discussing bills & chores with her... that'll just further worsen things.

Surely a fight will ensue along the way of splitting duties no matter how careful you choose to be,

If she didn't think of taking that initiative before, then enforcing her will definitely shake things up where she skips duties or just resents you glaringly/secretly for no reason. This is for sure.

Put your foot down, give her less than two weeks for her to sort her move... and don't be weak about it! Let hell loose if it wants to,you've done more than enough already.

There's nothing to negotiate!

There's no boyfriend or family arrangement to make!

There's no splitting of duties... Just lay things bare with a strict deadline.

Personally can't stand opportunists/ingrates/entitled people, they're extremely selfish people even to the detriment of their benefactors.

Indeed you have correctly identified the specie Nigeriannus Leecherous. Their only aim is to suck till there's nothing left.

VeryWickedMan:
OP what you have there is a Nigeriannus Leecherous commonly known as the Nigerian Woman. They are known to suck the life of their host dry and leave them for dead before moving onto their next prey.

Unfortunately for you, they have no known remedy.