Invite me as your man, I will send her out within 1 week. I will tell her to her face to leave or I tell you I'm cutting off the relationship because of her and you'll start pleading with me. She will vamoose.
I have had this experience before too, a guy who was my classmate at the University, the way I treated him, he won't even call me again.

sync:
Dear Nairalanders,
I’m in a dilemma and need your advice
There’s this friend of mine who out of the blue contacted me last year October asking for a favor to come stay at my place a couple of days since she had an interview in Abuja. I allowed in her without hesitation since I thought it was just going to be a few days. Fortunately, she got the job.

When she got the job in October, she asked me to pls allow her stay for two months before getting her place. My people, it’s been five months already and she’s still not making any moves to get her own place.

The problem really is I am currently jobless. She doesn’t contribute anything to the house. I am responsible for our feeding, gas, electricity, everything! And I do not have money. The little money I have is from my generous elder sister who has been my helper since I lost my job. Weekends she sleeps all through while I clean the house. I also do all the cooking. She doesn’t cook.

I am a light sleeper so I get up at any slight movement. This lady gets up between 3 to 4 times every night to use the restroom thus keeping me awake all through the night. This really has a toll on me. During the day she goes to the restroom between 14 to 16 times. She doesn’t contribute to buy foodstuff but she eats 4 times a day

What have I gotten myself into. Please how do I politely ask her to leave without hurting her feelings and savaging the relationship I use to have with her. I am tired, depressed and jobless!

The people who I tag as successful people in life, had one thing in common, they are ruthless with decisions.

She works and you are out of job now..I pity your elder sis who is bearing the huge load in this harsh times.

Call your friend to a meeting soonest..Let her know the reality, bills will go 50/50 or 40/60..

Any deviation, she should leave..

Chores the same..

As long as she earns, she must do something.

sync:
Dear Nairalanders,
I’m in a dilemma and need your advice
There’s this friend of mine who out of the blue contacted me last year October asking for a favor to come stay at my place a couple of days since she had an interview in Abuja. I allowed in her without hesitation since I thought it was just going to be a few days. Fortunately, she got the job.

When she got the job in October, she asked me to pls allow her stay for two months before getting her place. My people, it’s been five months already and she’s still not making any moves to get her own place.

The problem really is I am currently jobless. She doesn’t contribute anything to the house. I am responsible for our feeding, gas, electricity, everything! And I do not have money. The little money I have is from my generous elder sister who has been my helper since I lost my job. Weekends she sleeps all through while I clean the house. I also do all the cooking. She doesn’t cook.

I am a light sleeper so I get up at any slight movement. This lady gets up between 3 to 4 times every night to use the restroom thus keeping me awake all through the night. This really has a toll on me. During the day she goes to the restroom between 14 to 16 times. She doesn’t contribute to buy foodstuff but she eats 4 times a day

What have I gotten myself into. Please how do I politely ask her to leave without hurting her feelings and savaging the relationship I use to have with her. I am tired, depressed and jobless!

I was in a similar situation. Mine was a cousin that said she wanted to do something in Abuja & she's going to leave on the third day. 3days turned out to be over a month. Second month was running and she said she wanted to get an apartment. My house is a 3bedroom, her brother was already staying with me, and she wanted to use style and stay back. I simply asked her when is she leaving. This isn't what we agreed. Mind you, she's way older. She finally left before Christmas. Now, to this your friend. Tell her your rent is due and since you're jobless, you'll be moving out. Fake some calls where she is. Let her know it's this month end. That's because you want to keep the friendship you have with her. Else, I'll just tell you to be blunt. Nobody will do same for you. Trust me. You need your privacy and time to think.

Light78:



When she makes it in life, how do you politely ask her for forgiveness.

That should be the big question.

The way some of you reason defies logic.
So the fear of this parasite making it in life should be the reason she can't contribute to feeding,cleaning and household chores?
Even commonsense should tell anyone that you have to contribute.Even family members with commonsense don't just go to be parasitic on their siblings that are accommodating them.They find a way to be useful and important!
If you know the value of accommodation,you would know that her friend that is working should even be the one to be feeding them both.
I even find the story hard to believe because it doesn't sound real.The Op must either be hiding something or is not telling the whole truth.

If you have a friend around or family, take your foodstuffs there and be eating there, keep only cereals in minimal at home, tell her you're broke.

Discomfort

Reduce the food you normally give her.

Fake that you misplaced your keys and collect her keys to the rooms

Stay late till 9pm, while she's waiting or calling you to come give her the key, nobody would tell her, she would know if she had her own room, she would have comfort, or just go for night vigil without informing her

When she comes back from work, make sure she doesn't meet you at home, just go chill somewhere far and turn off your phone

Do things that makes her not comfortable staying, then she will leave.

She feels too comfortable like an hen laying her eggs, if her eggs are safe, she keeps laying more, just keep discomforting her. She will go

sync:
Dear Nairalanders,
I’m in a dilemma and need your advice
There’s this friend of mine who out of the blue contacted me last year October asking for a favor to come stay at my place a couple of days since she had an interview in Abuja. I allowed in her without hesitation since I thought it was just going to be a few days. Fortunately, she got the job.

When she got the job in October, she asked me to pls allow her stay for two months before getting her place. My people, it’s been five months already and she’s still not making any moves to get her own place.

The problem really is I am currently jobless. She doesn’t contribute anything to the house. I am responsible for our feeding, gas, electricity, everything! And I do not have money. The little money I have is from my generous elder sister who has been my helper since I lost my job. Weekends she sleeps all through while I clean the house. I also do all the cooking. She doesn’t cook.

I am a light sleeper so I get up at any slight movement. This lady gets up between 3 to 4 times every night to use the restroom thus keeping me awake all through the night. This really has a toll on me. During the day she goes to the restroom between 14 to 16 times. She doesn’t contribute to buy foodstuff but she eats 4 times a day

What have I gotten myself into. Please how do I politely ask her to leave without hurting her feelings and savaging the relationship I use to have with her. I am tired, depressed and jobless!

Is she diabetic?

Anyways, limit your household spendings
She would feel relaxed knowing fully well that free manna is coming from heaven through you. But when you withhold one or two, like say gas, cooking of foods she go wise up except if she be foolish girl

And please, your feelings Dey hurt but you don’t want to hurt hers? At your expense? Tell her that you can’t shoulder the household responsibilities anymore, is either she leaves or she brings half half of everything.

TRY TO BE SELFISH SOMETIMES

You are a mumu gal
Tomorrow you will come and post how she snatched your fiancee

Ofunaofu:


The bolded is so true

I once accommodated a new colleague, that was in 2017, after a month or so he got an accommodation and moved out. Do you know that today when ever I go to the city for some stuffs, because I have since relocated, I spend the night at his place.

it doesnt always apply. People who are sensible enough like your colleague to know when to leave are usually appreciative.

The moment you identify a leech, trust me, no matter what you do, they will rarely reciprocate.

How did i come to the conclusion the op friend is a leech. She works even though her friend does not work, however she contributes next to nothing or even nothing financially nor physically to the house. People with such emotional intelligence must not be accomodated in hope of a future benefit from them.

Skty:


You are very correct. But sometimes life can change much later. What if the friend becomes the CBN governor, first lady of a State, a rich person to give her contracts in 30 yrs time? Never u burn ur cable? Or any cable...the future is pregnant

Friend wey no help u when u broke and staying with u...will not help when they bcome bills gate..... being kind is natural....it usually nothing to do with being rich

Kelechi009:


You have 2 options, one is more effective.

1. Come home one day suddenly & break a bottle of Fanta on the ground and threaten her that if she doesn't move in 2 days, you will beat the shit out of her. Ofcourse you will lose the friendship, but this is a super way to chase her away, you don't need leeches anyway.

2. Go & rent a fake Boyfriend, that would come into your house with his bags. Then speak to your friend that she needs to leave because you can't be having intimacy when she is still around. Let her pack immediately.

Exactly what I have in mind (option 2), bro you too much.
Am available incase she wants to rent🤪

sync:
Dear Nairalanders,
I’m in a dilemma and need your advice
There’s this friend of mine who out of the blue contacted me last year October asking for a favor to come stay at my place a couple of days since she had an interview in Abuja. I allowed in her without hesitation since I thought it was just going to be a few days. Fortunately, she got the job.

When she got the job in October, she asked me to pls allow her stay for two months before getting her place. My people, it’s been five months already and she’s still not making any moves to get her own place.

The problem really is I am currently jobless. She doesn’t contribute anything to the house. I am responsible for our feeding, gas, electricity, everything! And I do not have money. The little money I have is from my generous elder sister who has been my helper since I lost my job. Weekends she sleeps all through while I clean the house. I also do all the cooking. She doesn’t cook.

I am a light sleeper so I get up at any slight movement. This lady gets up between 3 to 4 times every night to use the restroom thus keeping me awake all through the night. This really has a toll on me. During the day she goes to the restroom between 14 to 16 times. She doesn’t contribute to buy foodstuff but she eats 4 times a day

What have I gotten myself into. Please how do I politely ask her to leave without hurting her feelings and savaging the relationship I use to have with her. I am tired, depressed and jobless!

Honestly just tell her your siblings are coming

Whatever we tell you to tell her now, will be difficult for you because you can't even talk to her

sync:
Dear Nairala

What have I gotten myself into. Please how do I politely ask her to leave without hurting her feelings and savaging the relationship I use to have with her. I am tired, depressed and jobless!

What relationship are you trying to savage because I see none here except someone who sees you as a tool to save herself and she is utilizing it fully without even considering your own situation, you do the physical work and the financial aspects also, you need to tell us what secret you have with her that you might be scared of her divulging because if not, you are supposed to have sent her away two months earlier that is after discussing how things will go in the house since she now earns and note that she stopped being your guest the moment she got that job.

frozen70:


Honestly just tell her your siblings are coming

Whatever we tell you to tell her now, will be difficult for you because you can't even talk to her

In her mind, she be like, all of us can manage together kikiki😂😂😂

Uche559:
Tell ur friend that ur church is starting a 40 days fasting, when u r hungry just excuse urself n eat outside. When is six o'clock time to break fast, do small tea or small Akamu and lock up. If she complained y u r not cooking, tell her u dnt like eating heavy meals during fasting...... Do this n thank me later... U will c how she will find her square root.

But u sef, u no get job n u r still accommodating smne, this ur story get k-leg

You can only pursue this kind of person with violence. Tell her point blank that she has overstayed and then give her an ultimatum.

I gat no friends; only acquaintances. Once I leave a place of work, I drop everything about that place. To pick ur call once, you have to call me 10 times and I won't last more than 30 seconds; I don't give in to old-time trash.

You are jus being unnecessarily nice to a parasite who may actually be ungrateful as well.

You better act now or you keep suffering in silence .

VeryWickedMan:
OP what you have there is a Nigeriannus Leecherous commonly known as the Nigerian Woman. They are known to suck the life of their host dry and leave them for dead before moving onto their next prey.

Unfortunately for you, they have no known remedy.

Have a face to face discussion with her about her plans for getting her own accommodation.
Tell her that your siblings or boyfriend will be visiting soonest and the house won’t be able to accommodate all of you.

This is how I usually manage such people.

advanceDNA:


U sound like a nice person that dont like hurting pple's feelings....u better talk....pple are very wicked and dont care about ur niceness.....

U are not fvcking each other...so why are u allowing a fully parasitic relationship.....

Just spell it out for her....If u demand for contribution, inconsiderate pple like her will feel u want to exploit her cos she came to live with you..

Besides bear in mind that if she isnt in ur house u would have sorted ur challenge on ur own...so dont bother to ask her anything

Babe..come... i am sorry u have to come and be going......My brother/boyfriend/sister/ just got a job close by wants to move in with me....three of us cant be here....i am so sorry....

If you are like me....i am always on vawulence mode...
..oga ade... u said u will be here for two months.. i have helped u for 5 months...u cant call me wicked at this point....u have to leave in the next one week...

Your advice is perfect. Some people are unbelievable, they don't have conscience, I have been in her shoes, ended up parking to another house and encourage her to renew the rent.

sync:
Dear Nairalanders,
I’m in a dilemma and need your advice
There’s this friend of mine who out of the blue contacted me last year October asking for a favor to come stay at my place a couple of days since she had an interview in Abuja. I allowed in her without hesitation since I thought it was just going to be a few days. Fortunately, she got the job.

When she got the job in October, she asked me to pls allow her stay for two months before getting her place. My people, it’s been five months already and she’s still not making any moves to get her own place.

The problem really is I am currently jobless. She doesn’t contribute anything to the house. I am responsible for our feeding, gas, electricity, everything! And I do not have money. The little money I have is from my generous elder sister who has been my helper since I lost my job. Weekends she sleeps all through while I clean the house. I also do all the cooking. She doesn’t cook.

I am a light sleeper so I get up at any slight movement. This lady gets up between 3 to 4 times every night to use the restroom thus keeping me awake all through the night. This really has a toll on me. During the day she goes to the restroom between 14 to 16 times. She doesn’t contribute to buy foodstuff but she eats 4 times a day

What have I gotten myself into. Please how do I politely ask her to leave without hurting her feelings and savaging the relationship I use to have with her. I am tired, depressed and jobless!

She knows you do not want to hurt her feelings so she is taking advantage of you. Tell her that you sister would no longer be able to fit the bills so it's up to her to provide for the house. You would see her disappear in 2 months

There are some girls like that Sha. I remember one girl who j invited to crash at my place because she had something to do and didn't have to get a reservation at the hotel. I swear she stayed in my house for almost 2 months, didn't do any house chores, didn't cook, didn't do nothing or even contribute money for feeding. She always wanted people to give her food like she's a princess. This is just an advice to women out there, if you're staying in a man's house, contribute. Don't wait for anyone to "pamper you". Times have changed.

sync:
Dear Nairalanders,
I’m in a dilemma and need your advice
There’s this friend of mine who out of the blue contacted me last year October asking for a favor to come stay at my place a couple of days since she had an interview in Abuja. I allowed in her without hesitation since I thought it was just going to be a few days. Fortunately, she got the job.

When she got the job in October, she asked me to pls allow her stay for two months before getting her place. My people, it’s been five months already and she’s still not making any moves to get her own place.

The problem really is I am currently jobless. She doesn’t contribute anything to the house. I am responsible for our feeding, gas, electricity, everything! And I do not have money. The little money I have is from my generous elder sister who has been my helper since I lost my job. Weekends she sleeps all through while I clean the house. I also do all the cooking. She doesn’t cook.

I am a light sleeper so I get up at any slight movement. This lady gets up between 3 to 4 times every night to use the restroom thus keeping me awake all through the night. This really has a toll on me. During the day she goes to the restroom between 14 to 16 times. She doesn’t contribute to buy foodstuff but she eats 4 times a day

What have I gotten myself into. Please how do I politely ask her to leave without hurting her feelings and savaging the relationship I use to have with her. I am tired, depressed and jobless!

Make the list, show it to her. Tell her how much she will contribute. If she refuses, tell to pack out. It's simple. She will be assigned house chores. You don't need to look for words that don't offend. You are being offended here.

sync:


I’m a female

You need a boyfriend like me
She'll leave without stress

Light78:



When she makes it in life, how do you politely ask her for forgiveness.

That should be the big question.

Show us what good is to be expected from a person that is a burden to someone who has no job when you who have a job cannot even help out and you want the jobless to endure with the hope of the employed to make it and help her to achieve what exactly,when even in the little way that she is obligated to do she is already failing.


Your post reminds me of one of my roommates in school, I shared almost everything I had with him except just for him to wash plates an he failed to do that most times, next semester I went solo, but I still do the bit I can, now to future, just one thing I ask of, help me collect a vest I paid for in school and I will wait at the bus stop to collect it I called severally to know where he is and he assured me that he will get back to me when he gets there, my intention was I don't like delaying people and I want to be there before him, guess who picked my call at home barely 30mins after the last call with the excuse that the Vest is even too small for me. Yet you want people to keep pleasing selfish people because of future when they are already failing in the present.

Does she goes to the rest room with a pillow? Anyway frequent urination is a sign of UTI and other ailments, I advised she visit a gynaecologist ASAP

sync:
Dear Nairalanders,
I’m in a dilemma and need your advice
There’s this friend of mine who out of the blue contacted me last year October asking for a favor to come stay at my place a couple of days since she had an interview in Abuja. I allowed in her without hesitation since I thought it was just going to be a few days. Fortunately, she got the job.

When she got the job in October, she asked me to pls allow her stay for two months before getting her place. My people, it’s been five months already and she’s still not making any moves to get her own place.

The problem really is I am currently jobless. She doesn’t contribute anything to the house. I am responsible for our feeding, gas, electricity, everything! And I do not have money. The little money I have is from my generous elder sister who has been my helper since I lost my job. Weekends she sleeps all through while I clean the house. I also do all the cooking. She doesn’t cook.

I am a light sleeper so I get up at any slight movement. This lady gets up between 3 to 4 times every night to use the restroom thus keeping me awake all through the night. This really has a toll on me. During the day she goes to the restroom between 14 to 16 times. She doesn’t contribute to buy foodstuff but she eats 4 times a day

What have I gotten myself into. Please how do I politely ask her to leave without hurting her feelings and savaging the relationship I use to have with her. I am tired, depressed and jobless!

Learn to hurt people's feelings in cases like this, the better you start learning how to be blunt and straightforward, the better for you...!!

sync:
Dear Nairalanders,
I’m in a dilemma and need your advice
There’s this friend of mine who out of the blue contacted me last year October asking for a favor to come stay at my place a couple of days since she had an interview in Abuja. I allowed in her without hesitation since I thought it was just going to be a few days. Fortunately, she got the job.

When she got the job in October, she asked me to pls allow her stay for two months before getting her place. My people, it’s been five months already and she’s still not making any moves to get her own place.

The problem really is I am currently jobless. She doesn’t contribute anything to the house. I am responsible for our feeding, gas, electricity, everything! And I do not have money. The little money I have is from my generous elder sister who has been my helper since I lost my job. Weekends she sleeps all through while I clean the house. I also do all the cooking. She doesn’t cook.

I am a light sleeper so I get up at any slight movement. This lady gets up between 3 to 4 times every night to use the restroom thus keeping me awake all through the night. This really has a toll on me. During the day she goes to the restroom between 14 to 16 times. She doesn’t contribute to buy foodstuff but she eats 4 times a day

What have I gotten myself into. Please how do I politely ask her to leave without hurting her feelings and savaging the relationship I use to have with her. I am tired, depressed and jobless!

God has not given you the spirit of timidity, be bold and do what's best for you

sync:
Dear Nairalanders,
I’m in a dilemma and need your advice
There’s this friend of mine who out of the blue contacted me last year October asking for a favor to come stay at my place a couple of days since she had an interview in Abuja. I allowed in her without hesitation since I thought it was just going to be a few days. Fortunately, she got the job.

When she got the job in October, she asked me to pls allow her stay for two months before getting her place. My people, it’s been five months already and she’s still not making any moves to get her own place.

The problem really is I am currently jobless. She doesn’t contribute anything to the house. I am responsible for our feeding, gas, electricity, everything! And I do not have money. The little money I have is from my generous elder sister who has been my helper since I lost my job. Weekends she sleeps all through while I clean the house. I also do all the cooking. She doesn’t cook.

I am a light sleeper so I get up at any slight movement. This lady gets up between 3 to 4 times every night to use the restroom thus keeping me awake all through the night. This really has a toll on me. During the day she goes to the restroom between 14 to 16 times. She doesn’t contribute to buy foodstuff but she eats 4 times a day

What have I gotten myself into. Please how do I politely ask her to leave without hurting her feelings and savaging the relationship I use to have with her. I am tired, depressed and jobless!

My sister, I understand how you feel. Someone once told me that, being nice to the wrong people will only get you hurt. And also, not being vocal enough about ways others hurt you, will end up making you feel bitter, and resentful.

Most adults, don't have common sense. They need to be told everything to do. And are so selfish!

If I were you, I will tell her I want us to have a discussion. Tell her, as she can see you have been making efforts towards getting a job. And none is forth coming yet, that fending for the both of you without her contributing anything is taking a toll on your little savings.

And also, that if it was the other way round, you are so sure she won't take all she does from you. Tell her, you would really appreciate it if she can hasten up looking for her own place. Or try squatting with another friend or persons somehow.

That she mentioned she would be staying 2months, now it's being 5months. So heavens can bear you witness that you have tried even though she goes out and spoil your name. Tell her she can stay until the end of the month, and leave first week in March.

If she has small sense she will adjust, but if not she will start thinking you're a bad person.

And also, if possible record the conversation for future purposes!

Bobbiee:
There are some girls like that Sha. I remember one girl who j invited to crash at my place because she had something to do and didn't have to get a reservation at the hotel. I swear she stayed in my house for almost 2 months, didn't do any house chores, didn't cook, didn't do nothing or even contribute money for feeding. She always wanted people to give her food like she's a princess. This is just an advice to women out there, if you're staying in a man's house, contribute. Don't wait for anyone to "pamper you". Times have changed.

In this aspect time did not change, some just chose to be stupid and try their luck. Even in those days, with the gists we heard, your guest status ends the first night, next day you are expected to sweep and do other house chores, in my grandma's house sef, you go pound yam tire.

sync:
Dear Nairalanders,
I’m in a dilemma and need your advice
There’s this friend of mine who out of the blue contacted me last year October asking for a favor to come stay at my place a couple of days since she had an interview in Abuja. I allowed in her without hesitation since I thought it was just going to be a few days. Fortunately, she got the job.

When she got the job in October, she asked me to pls allow her stay for two months before getting her place. My people, it’s been five months already and she’s still not making any moves to get her own place.

The problem really is I am currently jobless. She doesn’t contribute anything to the house. I am responsible for our feeding, gas, electricity, everything! And I do not have money. The little money I have is from my generous elder sister who has been my helper since I lost my job. Weekends she sleeps all through while I clean the house. I also do all the cooking. She doesn’t cook.

I am a light sleeper so I get up at any slight movement. This lady gets up between 3 to 4 times every night to use the restroom thus keeping me awake all through the night. This really has a toll on me. During the day she goes to the restroom between 14 to 16 times. She doesn’t contribute to buy foodstuff but she eats 4 times a day

What have I gotten myself into. Please how do I politely ask her to leave without hurting her feelings and savaging the relationship I use to have with her. I am tired, depressed and jobless!

does she know your girlfriend ? If she doesn't, hire a girlfriend for like 2-5k to come and march her out. This girlfriend should come the first day and loudly shout WHO IS THIS and I DON'T WANT TO SEE HERE AGAIN. By the second time she comes, it's automatic marching. Take my advice and tell me thank you