Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / NewStats: 3,195,636 members, 7,958,921 topics. Date: Thursday, 26 September 2024 at 07:24 AM |
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Should I Take Custody After Divorce As A Man (15417 Views)
How Can He Take Custody Of His Son / How Do I Take Custody Of My Beloved Son? / Woman Cries Out After Her Rapist Fights To Take Custody Of Her Child (2) (3) (4)
(1) (2) (3) (4) (Reply) (Go Down)
Should I Take Custody After Divorce As A Man by Afodot0022(m): 2:55pm On Feb 13, 2023 |
Top of the day to you naira landers, I know some of you will criticize me here for always bringing my marital issues here. Well i believe we got lots of married responsible people here that might have gone through what i am facing through and may have one or two advice for me on how to navigate through my issues. Some of you are unaware of my stories, i will urge you to read through my stories under my profile name and have better understanding about how it unfolded. Now i am still struggling emotionally base on the problem am having with my wife, the disloyal, cheating and dishonesty from her ever since she got the job and get an accommodation in the barrack. She has been a complete different person entirely and still surprise how she turned to be who she is now. well i have decided to divorce her and sent her away because she had caused me enough pains emotionally which am yet to heal from, my peace of mind and mental health is at stake and dont want to run mad because of a woman. I dont think i deserve that. . My advice to single men and women planning to settle down soon should be very careful with the person they want to marry and know the person very well cos people do change alot when circumstances struck. That man or woman you are so in love with now might turn out to be a beast when you later end up getting married. Marriage is a very difficult journey. Now i and my wife are separated living apart but my two daughters are still leaving with me and with the help of my aged mom and sister, they are taking care of them and doing well. Now am kinda confuse whether i should let the kids go stay with their mother or they should stay with me. Though she is not dragging custody with me but I realize the kids staying with me for now gives me that emotional strength and doesn't make me feel lonely, but if i take them to their mom, i might start missing them and loneliness and depression may strike being that i will be living alone. I just want to get advice from divorced or separated men or women and even married and single here how they handle the custody part of their kids when their marriage ended, is it easy as a man to raise two girls age 5 and 6yrs and what are the issues relating to these. As i said, i have a mom and aunt that can look after them very well and all i have to do is provide for them all they will be needing physically and financially, but i just what to be sure if am taking the right decision and wont regret taking their full custody. pls anyone with useful advice should drop here cos am in a dilemma right now and want to get solution to my issues. Pls sorry for the typo errors, am writing this with emotions scattered. 6 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: Should I Take Custody After Divorce As A Man by incandescentena: 2:56pm On Feb 13, 2023 |
Re: Should I Take Custody After Divorce As A Man by gfelo(m): 3:06pm On Feb 13, 2023 |
Never give the custody to their mum, Reasons: (1) if she is that bad she will influence them negatively. (2) she will turn them to hate u. (3) mentioning loneliness in ur write up, the kid will serve as point of contact and make u guys fall back together, u wudnt want to go back to ur vomit i guess. (4) it will delay the process of ur healing if u will heal at all. thank u 98 Likes 9 Shares |
Re: Should I Take Custody After Divorce As A Man by KnowledgeIsVast(m): 3:11pm On Feb 13, 2023 |
You and your wife no de tire at all?😩🤣 10 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Should I Take Custody After Divorce As A Man by Afodot0022(m): 3:24pm On Feb 13, 2023 |
Thanks for this piece of advice. Really appreciate. Thank God i have a job and can take care of them with the help of my mom. My wife has proven she is not worth it and as u said, she might poison there mind towards me. Thanks once again. gfelo: 5 Likes |
Re: Should I Take Custody After Divorce As A Man by Afodot0022(m): 3:26pm On Feb 13, 2023 |
I pray you dont find yourself in my situation, if you do, u will understand better. If you dont have any advice, quietly move on pls KnowledgeIsVast: 37 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Should I Take Custody After Divorce As A Man by Mindlog: 3:54pm On Feb 13, 2023 |
It should be shared custody as they should spend their time between you and their mother, have that discussion with her no matter how difficult it may seem as you both have to work out how to co-parent with less acrimony. If custody issue is taken to court, she may likely be granted custody considering their ages and you given visitation rights, with them spending some of their school holidays with you unless you can prove to the judge that she abuses substances or clinically assessed to be mentally unstable which would be a risk, leaving the children with her. When it comes to care for the girls, she comes first before your mother and sister. 26 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Should I Take Custody After Divorce As A Man by Richy4(m): 4:16pm On Feb 13, 2023 |
🖐️🤚🖐️🤚🖐️🖐️🤚 I have a question.. When you said that you have a mother and a sister that can take care of them, what do you mean? Is it sending them (the kids) to go and leave with your mother and sister or that they (your mum & Sister) are coming to stay where you all will be together? 10 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Should I Take Custody After Divorce As A Man by Afodot0022(m): 4:32pm On Feb 13, 2023 |
Yes either of them or both will come and stay with me. Mum is retired and not working while sister is yet to be married. I feel if they are living with us, it will help the most in taking care of them being that they are female and knows better. Richy4: 7 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Should I Take Custody After Divorce As A Man by Afodot0022(m): 4:37pm On Feb 13, 2023 |
Yes i understand you better, she have the higher chances taken custody because of their age and also female. Just dont want anything that will make me relate with her which i know its impossible cos of the kids. Seeing her brings back the hurt in me and reason am trying to avoid her. She came yesterday to see them kids and honestly i wasnt happy seeing her cos it triggers what she did to me and how she hurt me. I just dont want to set an eye on her for now so i can be fine and heal and back emotionally. Me seeing her drains me emotionally. Honestly divorce is not easy and has its own issues. Atimes itss even worst than the marriage itself. Mindlog: 10 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Should I Take Custody After Divorce As A Man by ahnie: 4:40pm On Feb 13, 2023 |
Afodot0022:You see why I don't like you, you're easily manipulated. You don't think with your head,you take decisions irrationally just like that. Whatever nonsense you n your wife are doing,do not forget there re kids looking up to you boths. Take your marital issues outta nairaland They would use it against you tomorrow,most peeps here are kids dirty jobless vermins 28 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Should I Take Custody After Divorce As A Man by Mindlog: 4:46pm On Feb 13, 2023 |
Afodot0022: I understand where you are coming from as you are dealing with the loss of a marriage and her presence naturally triggers you and that is why people going through a divorce are encouraged to seek therapy as it helps in some form of desensitization, to help the person pour out their heart and gradually become less triggered by the other person's presence as they begin to achieve clarity about the ended marriage and what lies ahead. |
Re: Should I Take Custody After Divorce As A Man by ahnie: 4:48pm On Feb 13, 2023 |
See marriage is not easy You said you guys are separated now,meaning they have returned the dowry back to you right? Yes or no? I don't know how the road of divorce is,concerning the kids,it's best they stay with their mum for the time being you can always go to check on them. Or they stay with you whilst you invite your sister to come live with you guys Sorry for your ordeal. My candid advise is,pls learn from your mistake and do not rush into another marriage for the time being. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Should I Take Custody After Divorce As A Man by Beremx(f): 4:48pm On Feb 13, 2023 |
Your case is almost similar to that of Korra Obidi who's stupid husband is trying to separate her daughters from her. In your case, it doesn't involve going to court. I will advise you have a shared custody with your wife because the kids are still too young not to be close to their mum. 1 Like |
Re: Should I Take Custody After Divorce As A Man by Afodot0022(m): 4:55pm On Feb 13, 2023 |
Well thanks for your input. It happened that have been on nairaland for long and i know matured and responsible comment or advice whenbi see one. Even if there are kids here, there are still aged, responsible and experience individual aswell. We dont throw the child with the dirty water you know. Thanks anyway for your input. ahnie: 6 Likes |
Re: Should I Take Custody After Divorce As A Man by Afodot0022(m): 4:59pm On Feb 13, 2023 |
Honestly divorce is even more harder to deal with cos seperating from the person you gave your whole to and spend your life with is difficult to handle. Seeing them again trigger lost of mixed emotion difficult to deal. Fine maybe cos i still love my wife reason am going through this rollercoaster of emotion but i know with time am gonna be fine and move on with life. She has really mess up thongs in this marriage and given this a chance again will make it look like am stupid and dumb. Someone that cheated and forgave her and give her a second chance and still went ahead to unblock the person in order to continue from where they stop. Its annoying. This shows she has no regards for me or the union itself. I just want her to learn bitterly from her lesson thats all. Mindlog: 1 Like |
Re: Should I Take Custody After Divorce As A Man by Afodot0022(m): 5:02pm On Feb 13, 2023 |
Ok thanks. Now that the kids are with me, what can i do cos she uses that as an advantage to come to my place and am not cool with this fact. She wanted to even spend the weekend with us but i object cos i dont want what will make me loose guard and become vulnerable again to her manipulative antics Beremx: 6 Likes |
Re: Should I Take Custody After Divorce As A Man by jahsharon: 5:02pm On Feb 13, 2023 |
You have a mother and sister who are taking care of your children, why then will you want them to go and stay with a promiscuous woman? You want them to grow up like her? My brother don't do that. Secondly, don't get me angry. Don't mention the word depression again. It's a white man's word for weak people. Did you hear about depression 10 years ago? It's the social media that brought the lazy man's word from white man's land. You are an African, sometimes things that you don't like might happen to you, just as it happens to everyone on Earth, think a little about it, and say "Iyalaya Everybody" and move on. 25 Likes |
Re: Should I Take Custody After Divorce As A Man by Richy4(m): 5:04pm On Feb 13, 2023 |
Afodot0022: Since both of you have decided to go your separate ways, No skin pain man..... But whatever the decision you both decides to take concerning those kids, let it be in their own interest...It should be a mutual agreement devoid of selfishness ... Both of you should decide when and how the kids can visit their mother EG how many times a month ..if she can contribute financially for them, how much a month.. and so on.. I understand that she was not dragging the custody with you but during those decisions, please your mother and sister should not be there, a restaurant would be a better place... Good luck man.. |
Re: Should I Take Custody After Divorce As A Man by tommy589(m): 5:11pm On Feb 13, 2023 |
Tell us what you want? Your wife is not demanding custody and your family are not tired of raising the kids. Are you missing Bleep with your wife? I guess having the kids in her custody is the excuse you need to visit and sleep with her 3 Likes |
Re: Should I Take Custody After Divorce As A Man by IyaTola: 5:11pm On Feb 13, 2023 |
Mohammed Qahtami from Saudi Arabia, who was adjudged the World Champion in public speaking at the annual contest conducted by Toastmasters International. Award winning speech "Words Kills". 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Should I Take Custody After Divorce As A Man by IyaTola: 5:11pm On Feb 13, 2023 |
As a business owner, ensure the following expense heads aren't included in your Income statement Miscellaneous Exp General office Exp Public relation(Be ready to provide evidence) Business Development Expenses The taxman sees the above as a conduit pipe through which taxpayers evade taxes. |
Re: Should I Take Custody After Divorce As A Man by budaatum: 5:22pm On Feb 13, 2023 |
Afodot0022: Seeing your issue, what's better for you, which you've presented under a mask of 'what's good for your daughter's', will help you find the best solution. For them, hopefully. |
Re: Should I Take Custody After Divorce As A Man by Ulunne777(f): 5:29pm On Feb 13, 2023 |
If you don't want her around choose shared custody. You Ppl can discuss their visits. Eg.School closes then they'll go to her place to spend holidays ,or maybe weekends if she lives in the same city . With time,they will naturally choose where they are more comfortable or loved 3 Likes |
Re: Should I Take Custody After Divorce As A Man by sisisioge: 5:41pm On Feb 13, 2023 |
Since she's not discussing the custody with you at the moment, it is better you leave the matter as is. You currently have a system that works well for both of you....you have their presence to cure loneliness while she has their absence to allow her peddle her trade well. All is ok for now until she tires....enjoy it. Custody issue can be very draining fa. Meanwhile, you need to channel your energy into something interesting for you so you could be whole again. Do not let another human drag your sanity into the mold. 7 Likes |
Re: Should I Take Custody After Divorce As A Man by Nobody: 5:43pm On Feb 13, 2023 |
You should take custody NOT because their presence is helping you to get over your separation BUT because you're the one likeliest to raise them into good women and give them the future they deserve. 7 Likes |
Re: Should I Take Custody After Divorce As A Man by ahnie: 5:56pm On Feb 13, 2023 |
Justbehave what sayeth thee?I sight you |
Re: Should I Take Custody After Divorce As A Man by Justbehave(m): 6:01pm On Feb 13, 2023 |
Bros pls take custody of your kids. You are even lucky to have a mother and a sister helping you out. In my own case I don't. So I employed two nannies because I'm with my three kids though all boys. One works from 8 am to 5pm while the other starts from 5pm to 8am.Their mums don't dare visit them. No time for nonsense. 11 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Should I Take Custody After Divorce As A Man by ahnie: 6:05pm On Feb 13, 2023 |
Justbehave:You must be a dictator 1 Like |
Re: Should I Take Custody After Divorce As A Man by Justbehave(m): 6:09pm On Feb 13, 2023 |
ahnie:I'm not. But when it comes to women and their manipulative attitude,I can handle them very well. Besides my kids are happy staying with me to the extent they don't even remember their mums. 3 Likes |
Re: Should I Take Custody After Divorce As A Man by ahnie: 6:10pm On Feb 13, 2023 |
Justbehave:Ok o. |
Re: Should I Take Custody After Divorce As A Man by TimT: 7:11pm On Feb 13, 2023 |
Lols... For better for worse.... Na during the first 10years of marriage Dem dey know the true level of "maturity".... Marry your frnd Dem no go gree.... Marry who u feel comfortable with in every sense, Dem no go gree.... Now see how things are going down.... Marriage is not for everyone, but everybody dey rush to go marry.... |
Baby Interrupting Parents During Sex / Name 5 Things You Did As A Child During Christmas Period? / Coronavirus Giveaway Thread
(Go Up)
Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 73 |