Johndoe100:

This one already has an inferiority complex from way back. Sorry, try and be more white maybe they will accept you.

What does this crap mean - "dregs of society", "that would not have been in our inner circle", "You know that "those other people"". People who actually have don't speak like this, we were taught that saying such things is undignifying and is for the Ibo traders and people like that.
If we were to go and investigate we would find that she is a product of poor parents, you know those kids that saw others with stuff and could never have any. We understand.




Like I said before, we don't want to be white. If you have a complex and think white is right go and live with the white people. Then leave us alone to our uncivilized selves.

We are black and proudly Nigerian.

Are you upset that I referred to a wife beater as the dreg of society. If it annoyed you this much then I am obviously right. If you were not taught to respect women then what the hell were you taught. What do you know. Who cares if you are older than methuselah. You are trash. It is just the way I feel. Nothing can possibly change that. That is how I view people like you and it will never change. I am not white and I was not raised white. The fact that you are labelling people who do not condone demeaning another human being "white" makes you trash. Basically you are so delusional that you know something is right and you attribute it to white and then keep doing the things you do trying to justify it with your culture. Don't cry over anybody saying anything about your wife. The way you described the treatment of wives here is the way people treat a stubborn donkey. LOL at calling me the product of poor parents. Like having poor parents is now a sickness. I never wanted for material things. I never even craved them. i was not raised to place value inthose things. My parents emphasized value in morals not in the cars we rode in or the money in the bank. I know for you that is a big deal for me it never was. okpo. Don't respect yourself. Who knows you are probably married and she whoops yoru ass on a daily basis. there has to be a reason why your are so mad at women. Remove yourself from that abusive relationship and stop being so bitter.

Sisi_Kill:

Awww! Look at you getting all defensive about your "wife", there's hope yet. 

Okay, no more jabs at your. . .errr. . .wife but I'll say this though, you would be so lucky if she were as much a blow up dolly as my ma was to my daddy coz the I hear it (which was a little TMI for me), Mama was a fantastic blow up doll for papa, anatomically correct and knew just how to get things done. Prevented daddy from becoming a wacked out masochist who thinks women should be disciplined with brute force.

Anyway, leaving our respective family out of this, I still want you to know I got your back. . .just holla anytime.

No problem, but before you go just one or two things please.
You stress the anatomical correctness of the woman that gave birth to you (please I don't want to offend, do I call her your mum or sister?), are there women in your family that are not anatomically correct? What form does this take?  

She was good at " getting things done", was this trait passed down to the next generation genetically or along with training? Please once again I do not wish to offend, but I am sure that you will agree that you are just as good as she ever was. Would I be correct in saying that the women who are anatomically correct in your family are also known for their prowess in "getting things done"?  

i have one question of johndoe, do you consider the effect of your discipline on the level of respect your children may or may not have for your wife?

Outstrip:

Are you upset that I referred to a wife beater as the dreg of society. If it annoyed you this much then I am obviously right. If you were not taught to respect women then what the hell were you taught. What do you know. Who cares if you are older than methuselah. You are trash. It is just the way I feel. Nothing can possibly change that. That is how I view people like you and it will never change. I am not white and I was not raised white. The fact that you are labelling people who do not condone demeaning another human being "white" makes you trash. Basically you are so delusional [/b]that you know something is right and you attribute it to white and then keep doing the things you do trying to justify it with your culture. [b]Don't cry over anybody saying anything about your wife.

You obviously don't have any biases

Outstrip:

I never wanted for material things.

Really?

Outstrip:

I never even craved them.

Liar

Outstrip:

Who knows you are probably married

I have said this several times.

davidylan:

i have one question of johndoe, do you consider the effect of your discipline on the level of respect your children may or may not have for your wife?

You people are really funny. Where have I ever written about my family? Where do you get this from?

HMMNN,
The OP has achieved her aim,which was to create another US versus THEM thread.
Domestic violence in relationships is a two way street and not the prerogative of one side alone.
There are as many violent women as there are men,but the fact is that most men who are victims of domestic violence keep it under the wraps because of the shame and stigma associated with such.
Women who are abused by their husbands appear to be more in number because they are not ashamed to expose such to the public.On the other hand a man who is a victim of domestic violence is less likely to expose it for the shame and the fear of being laughed at.
Domestic violence is wrong whether from the MALE or the FEMALE!
Violence in relationships is not the monopoly of any s.ex.

//

^^^
A thousand apologies ma.Just wonder why you always get soo sensitive when I comment on your threads.I don't see anything wrong in what I said,but if I offended you ,am sorry.

//

^^^
Thanks for the clearing the air,because you are actually one of my favourite posters on this forum even if we do not agree on issues,however my grouse with you is that you always come down on the men like a ton of bricks while on the other hand if it is a woman you just give her a slight tap on the wrist.
And I did read the thread from the first page,I always do-i find it a very fascinating hobby and a less dangerous way to pass a saturday.

//

Richvkunt:

^^^
Thowever my grouse with you is that you always come down on the men like a ton of bricks while on the other hand if it is a woman you just give her a slight tap on the wrist.

Where did you get that from on this thread? Because she's focusing on women? By discussing the plght of women, she's automatically looking down on men?

I personally just dont understand why people cant stick to the original topic? What can be done in Nigeria to help those in this sad situation or how they can avoid it. simple. what does "I know of one random man whose wife hit him" have to do with the thousands of women that have gone thru worse?

They cant even a discussion without turning it to a competition. It's so pathetic.

Richvkunt:

^^^
Thanks for the clearing the air,because you are actually one of my favourite posters on this forum even if we do not agree on issues,however my grouse with you is that you always come down on the men like a ton of bricks while on the other hand if it is a woman you just give her a slight tap on the wrist.
And I did read the thread from the first page,I always do-i find it a very fascinating hobby and a less dangerous way to pass a saturday.

ThiefOfHearts:

Where did you get that from on this thread? Because she's focusing on women? By discussing the plght of women, she's automatically looking down on men?

I personally just dont understand why people cant stick to the original topic? What can be done in Nigeria to help those in this sad situation or how they can avoid it. simple. what does "I know of one random man whose wife hit him" have to do with the thousands of women that have gone thru worse?

They cant even a discussion without turning it to a competition. It's so pathetic.

@Thief of hearts,
My dear lady cool down.
CC knows I am not refering to this particular thread alone.
You need to chill out.
Domestic violence affects both men and women okay?
Violence is never the monopoly of one of the s,exes,violence affects both men and women,only that women are more vocal about it.Men are domestically abused by women every day but because of the fact that people will laugh at them or label them a wimp,they are afraid to expose their problems to the public.
PEACE!

Men that get thrashed daily in real life by their wives coming on here to act superman.Funny "internet Nigerians" and small "real Nigerian boiz".
Johndoe, wud you dare beat a career woman,making her own dough(assuming one makes the fatal error of living with you)?You go get some helpless lil'poor gurl straight off the villa,use her to feel better and massage dead ego then you come in here to yarn dust.

@ifyalways

Look it might make you feel better to think of me as being abused by a woman, the truth is that no one can abuse me. My wife is my better half, can I beat her? Yes I can, but why would I? She is my rock, the anchor of our familly. I am only telling you this cos it seems you peoiple can not distinguish between a persons position in principle and a persons personal behaviour.
I believe that if it is called for men in Nigeria should discipline their wives and gf's. This is not a statement on my personal relationships.

what you people need to realize is that domestic violence against women is never justified, wether that woman is nagging or whatever. NO ONE DESERVES TO GET HIT, you did not bring me into this world so therefore you do not have the right to hit me. those supporting the idea of beating women because they are nagging are very stupid and insensitive. lets see you be in a position where someone is using you as a punching bad all because you are talking and see how you like it. like someone stated earlier, either walk away, divorce her, or talk right back to her but NEVER put your hands on anyone be it male or female. what we also have to realize is that some men who abuse their spouses have been either been preconditioned to do so like some ppl stated, have anger issues and want to flex their muscles of the person they feel they have control over, have control issues and just want to dominate that person's life or just PLAIN CRAZZY and MENTALLY UNSTABLE. beating their wives have absolutely nothing to do with what she did wrong but a way to control her because they feel like they can do so. Some women choose to ignore early signes of danger because they are blinded by love, just like in the case of my sis, who had a psycho for a fiance and later married him. after the marriage, she got pregnant very quickly and he started to exercise a form of control over her, she was not perfect by any means, but she was also human. because of her imperfections, he took that as an opportunity to "correct" her. we all agreed but little by little we started to understand that he just wanted to control her. used her imperfections as an excuse to control her not realizing that he is FARR from perfect himself , anyways, what i am trying to say is that noone has the right to BEAT anyone because you did not give that person life. all you can do is try to grow as a couple because after all you knew what you were getting into. VIOLENCE IS NEVER OK and unfortunatly for women in nigeria, they cannot exercise any form of rights and take their lives back because of many obstacles when it comes to this issue. I will never let any man put their hands on, my own parents dont even beat me not to talk of a so called husband who am supposed to spend the rest of my life with, mbakwa,

For starters, I do not condone violence of any kind. The moment disagreements between couples deteriotes to physical confrontations, it's best to pull the plug. That being said, women and society don't make it easy for the man. If a man gets slapped or punched by his wife and he returns the "favor", he is labelled a wife beater. If he doesn't retaliate, the same people will call him a spineless wimp who can't control his wife (you all know this is true in your pretentious minds). Women crave drama but some take it to the extreme to the extent they don't feel loved by a man till he hits them. I have a pal whose wife started out with slaps which graduated to punches and later she started throwing bottles,pots,sticks and even his phone at him. He did everything under the sun to avoid retaliating e.g sitting her down to talk,doing all the things she loved, pleading with her family to talk to her, church counselling, etc and it only got worse. One day she tore his shirt in a public place and that was the last straw. He almost broke every bone in her body that and to those who don't know his history, he is regarded as a useless man who only has strength to beat his wife. Today, that lady thinks twice before arguing with him not to talk of getting physical. Some women CAN'T be reasoned with. They love drama more than anything. Only a mentally deranged man will beat up his wife just like that. I've seen women who shred their husbands clothes,cut his body with sharp objects,lock the exit door and dare him to do his worst. How many "civilized" men can eudure such? Let's not decieve ourselves in the name of being enlightened. MOST times, its the woman that asks for it. Nuff said!

If you are a guy who hasn't witnessed or experienced assault and humiliation from a lady, you shouldn't be talking. I'm not talking about minor quarrels or disputes. I'm talking about a woman who attacks you physically at the drop of a pin. When you have experienced such, then and only then do you have the credibility to talk on the subject. A lot of people who comment here are probably teenagers or young adults below 25 years of age and a lot of them are yet to be exposed to the cruel,jarring and harsh experiences of life. All they do is type out "politically correct" sentiments they've been indoctrinated with. To the guys, wait till it happens to you and then you can have the credibility to talk about how "maturedly" you handled the situation. Nuff said!

//

What a thread With all this domestic violence going on in Nigeria, it is no wonder that God has decided to abandon Nigerians in Nigeria and deliver them into the hands of her enemies. I am going to stop praying for Nigeria because it seems obvious that most Nigerians are really wicked souls. Nigerians engage in tribalism, corruption, scam, violence of all sorts, greed, embezzlement of public funds, the list is endless. When boko haram is done bombing all you abusive, violent bigots to pieces and sending you to the deepest, hottest parts of hell, then maybe, just maybe they might someday be peace (though I seriously doubt it). Cursed people

Wow! This thread is just jaw-dropping. My Nigerian sisters, abeg shine your eyes well, well before you say "I do". Some of the people you call men are not men but wild animals in human clothing.

The God of heaven and earth knows that if a man touches anyone of my sisters, I will personally ensure that he NEVER recovers from that mistake. Beat who? The daughters we raised with utmost care and in luxury, without one tiny little speck of discomfort, you now want to beat?! Dem no born that man well! He will see mabo! I will show him that there are alpha males and the are ALPHA-males.

My philosophy in life is pretty simple. Nothing in this world is by force. If a woman has made up her mind to frustrate the hell out of me, I will just pack my bags and go stay in a hotel for a few weeks. Chikena! I can't even imagine things getting so bad that I am raising a hand to my own wife. God forbid bad thing oh! I'll rather send her to her father's house or pack out of the house myself rather than turn my home into hostile territory.

Lmao! Na wa, One of the things that forces women to stay with abusive husbands is largely economic/financial. If you report her, will you feed her and take care of her?

^and if she dies in the process nko? pls do u know the number or not? At least, let my conscience be clear.

wendybaby:

HELLO NAIRALANDERS,
I NEED THE LAGOS TELEPHONE NUMBER(S) OF THE OFFICE ON DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.
WE HAVE THIS (MAD) MAN THAT BATTERS HIS WIFE IN MY NEIGHBOURHOOD. I FEEL I JUST HAVE TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS.
PLEASE POST THE NUMBER HERE.
THANKS.

My dear, open a new thread, so that all and sundry can view it and reply to your post, on time.

To all of you who have suffered in the hands of your spouse - my heart goes out to you! I still cannot fathom how, in this modern day, a man can beat a woman for any reason. Discussing and opening up about this problem is the only way to go, and kudos to you brave souls who have written about your experiences.

Violence is never the monopoly of one of the s,exes,violence affects both men and women,only that women are more vocal about it.Men are domestically abused by women every day but because of the fact that people will laugh at them or label them a wimp,they are afraid to expose their problems to the public.
PEACE!

I agree with you in theory, but this is the same kind of problem that I see with the term "reversed racism". For example, if a black man calls a white man "cracker" and says he "hates all white people" it's not a good thing, but it's not the same thing as a white man calling a black man "nigger". Why? Because the history of oppression. The black man is in minority, as are women ("minority" here is not only numbers, but refer to a group of people who have been discriminated). What I mean to say is, women beating men is naturally a very bad thing and should not occurr, BUT the reality is that because of cultural values and oppression of women, there is a higher percentage of women being abused by their male spouses than vice versa. The abuse of women is not only something that occurs becasue a man is violent, it is also due to cultural and social values; for example that women who are abused "deserve it" or "have provoked it", that women should be "obedient", "chaste" and the value many people have; "That the women's only role in life is to please and serve her husband." These values are just as dangerous to women as a man with a violent temper in terms of abuse, because they enforce the image of women as a property of someone else, and not an individual.

Men, if you are truly against abuse of women, it's time to step up and see that the problem lies with this patriarch society we live in and not with women. We have the right to express ourselves and live our life to the fullest.

Where the hell was I when all this was going on. Now I have to figure out where to come in

Some ladies deserve to be beaten, those without home training, as for me, if you raise ur voice against me, i will dish you a dirty slap,u wnt try it again

Are we talking about an occassional beating or frequent beating?
Some women are too nasty and deserve to be beaten once in a while.
However, it is crude and barbaric for a man to beat his wife.
Many men do it,even some of those condemning it on this thread.
This beastly act cuts across all classes,tribes,occupations,etc.
Rich men,poor men,educated,illiterates,clergy,beat their wives.
A man should be able to control himself from such a beastly act.
I've seen a pastor in a white garment slap his wife one night at Agege Pen Cinema bus stop in Lagos around 1997.
The woman cried while the beast walked away, left her crying there.
I felt for the woman that night.
I think its a societal or cultural attitude here.Some men do it as a measure of power and control over the woman.
In some cases,its out of frustration.
Our laws,unlike in Europe,allow such abuses and do not frown at it.
One of the religions(not christianity oh)authorises a husband to beat his wife at will.