El's Super Season - Jokes Etc (2) - Nairaland
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| Re: El's Super Season by lysaa(f): 9:14pm On Oct 01, 2011 |
Hey El, like the compilation. good job! |
| Re: El's Super Season by ARareGem(f): 9:52pm On Oct 01, 2011 |
Cool. |
| Re: El's Super Season by Nobody: 11:34am On Oct 02, 2011 |
Thanks Lysaa n My Daughter Rare!! Englishman, Scottish man and Irishman selling bibles door to door, they have a bet who will sell the most in a day. They meet up at end of day and Englishman has sold 2, Scottish man had sold 3, but the Irishman who had a terrible stutter says hhhee hhhee hhhad sssold ssssixty. The other two asked how did he do it. He said, "Wwwhen Iiiii nnnnnnknock aaaat thththe ddddooor I said: Do you wwwwwant tto bbbuy a bbbbbible ooooorrr shshshould Iiii jjjust rrrread it tttto yyyyou?"  |
| Re: El's Super Season by Nobody: 12:10pm On Oct 02, 2011 |
El and the Pope driving on a street, in different directions. Out of some unfortunate mishap, the cars slammed into each other, head-on. The two men were able to get out of their cars without any serious injury, but the cars were totaled. Before the Pope could say anything, El said, "Instead of fighting over whose fault it was, why don't we just celebrate that we were able to come out alive?" the Pope said, "Yeah, good idea!" "I have a bottle of whisky in the trunk, why don't I pull that out?" suggested El. He went around, and luckily the bottle was not damaged in the accident. He gave it to the Pope and said, "Here, drink some!" The Pope took the bottle and chugged half of it down. Then he wiped his mouth and handed the bottle over to El. "Here, you have some!" El passed it back and said, "Nah, I think I'll wait until the police get here." |
| Re: El's Super Season by TomFord: 1:45pm On Oct 02, 2011 |
That made me smile.well done |
| Re: El's Super Season by lysaa(f): 2:12pm On Oct 02, 2011 |
I like the last 2 jokes. |
| Re: El's Super Season by Nobody: 6:34pm On Oct 02, 2011 |
Gracias Lysaa n Tom!  |
| Re: El's Super Season by ARareGem(f): 7:05pm On Oct 02, 2011 |
Lol at the Irish salesman. |
| Re: El's Super Season by Nobody: 7:24pm On Oct 02, 2011 |
My Rare Baby, this what u get frm a Caring Papa!  A woman and her little girl were visitng the grave of the little girl's grandmother. On their way through the cemetary back to the car, the little girl asked, "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?" "Of course not, dear." replied the mother, "Why would you think that?" "The tombstone back there said 'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'" Walking into a lawyers office, a man asked what his rates were. "Fifty dollars for three questions," the lawyer stated. "Isn't that awfully expensive?" the man asked?" "Yes," replied the lawyer. "What's your third question?" |
| Re: El's Super Season by Nobody: 11:30am On Oct 03, 2011 |
An 85-year-old couple, after being married for almost 60 years, died in a car crash. They had been in good health the last ten years, mainly due to the wife's interest in health food and exercising. When they reached the Pearly Gates, St. Peter took them to their mansion, which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen, master bath suite and a Jacuzzi. As they looked around, the old man asked St. Peter how much all this was going to cost. "It's free," St. Peter replied. "This is Heaven." Next, they went out in the back yard to survey the championship-style golf course that the home bordered. They would have golfing privileges every day and each week, the course changed to a new one representing the great golf courses on earth. The old man asked, "What are the greens fees?" St. Peter replied, "This is heaven, you play for free." Next, they went to the club house and saw the lavish buffet lunch with the cuisines of the world laid out. "How much to eat?" asked the old man. "Don't you understand yet? This is Heaven, it is free!" St. Peter replied, with some exasperation. "Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol tables?" the old man asked timidly. St. Peter lectured, "That's the best part, you can eat as much as you like of whatever you like and you never get fat and you never get sick either. This is, after all, Heaven." With that, the old man went into a fit of anger, throwing down his hat and stomping on it, and screaming wildly. St. Peter and his wife both tried to calm him down, asking him what was wrong. The old man looked at his wife and said, "This is all your fault! If it weren't for your blasted bran muffins, I could have been here ten years ago!" |
| Re: El's Super Season by ARareGem(f): 11:37am On Oct 03, 2011 |
^^ loooooooool! |
| Re: El's Super Season by Nobody: 11:40am On Oct 03, 2011 |
A woman had two female parrots who were always yelling, "We're prostitutes, wanna have a little fun?" One day, she was talking to her Preacher about this. He said he had two male parrots and all they did was read the Bible. He thought perhaps they would be a good influence on the two females. So they put the four parrots together. So, the females yelled at the male parrots, "We're prostitutes, wanna have a little fun?" One male parrot said to the other, "Put the Bibles away! We've made it to heaven!" |
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