When a crisis arises in the family many couples think about the best way to end their relationship. What is the best way to take such an important and sweeping decision? How do you recognize that this can't be repaired? What questions should you ask yourself before submitting for divorce? The therapist, a marital specialist, discusses.

After marriage, very few believe that they will be so dissatisfied in an intimate relationship that they'll consider divorce. The majority of people believe that their union will last for a lifetime. However, family life is usually packed with difficulties and challenges that we're not prepared for. It's often difficult to manage the situation. Some people can resolve complex problems and move forward. Others get stuck in conflict and miscommunications and are left with no option to end the divorce process than filing for what to do if your wife yells at you?

Clients frequently ask "How do you know exactly what time to get a divorce?" They believe there's an application form taking form in the appropriate information to make a sound decision. Many want to determine if there is a chance to keep the relationship or if it's not worth the risk of torturing them. It is entirely your choice and nobody else can make it for you. If you're not in danger physically in the relationship, I would advise that you take a quick break and ask nine questions.

1. Do I need divorce or do I require other relationships with my partner?

There's a distinction between an unhappy marriage and a marriage that can't be saved. Couples who are experiencing problems frequently are referred to me and aren't sure what to do about it. If you are looking to alter your relationship and become more than this person You should consider other options. Divorce is the most significant step.

2. Have you been seeking help but trying to handle it by yourself?

Therapy with family members may not always provide the needed help. If you see an expert, but you aren't seeing any improvement that doesn't mean it's time to end your therapy. If you believe that the marriage is worth fighting for seek out a different therapy provider. Perhaps his techniques will suit you better. But, most importantly, don't listen to the therapist's advice that your marriage is not a possibility to save.

However, don't forget that the therapist is not able to solve all problems. He can't "fix" the partner. The process of change and growth requires a lot of effort on the part of both. If two lovers are looking to get into a relationship, they will discover the courage in themselves to face issues.

3. Have you had recently any stress?

There are serious issues in every relationship. Sometimes, they can overshadow other issues. The most common and severe stressors are financial issues or job loss, the losing a child or infertility. In these unfortunate situations, the probability of divorce is significantly increased. Relations are like building. An earthquake of a small magnitude can cause some minor tremors, but an earthquake with 9 points can destroy the strongest home. If you are in a state of constant tension, any little issue can seem overwhelming and impossible to resist.

Before filing for divorce, make sure to get help and deal with the issues that eat away in your life. Large problems are tough to deal with on your own, especially when you're overwhelmed by sadness or a feeling of loss.

4. Do I admit my guilt?

No one is flawless. It isn't important what the issue is. It is not a matter of how the person is acting. Two people are always involved in the relationship and they also have a significant impact on relationships. Sometimes we criticize, undervalue the importance of promises, fail to keep them and ignore issues or do not wish to discuss our emotions. Recognizing guilt is not about that you blame yourself for all the things you do. It means that you take responsibility for your behaviour and your reactions. What is your partner's responsibility for his actions? When you understand the extent of your "contribution" to the problem You can identify solutions that could change the family life to the best of your ability.

5. Was it a mistake at first or did we simply give up?

I often meet couples whose relationships did not work out straight at the beginning. This doesn't mean couples fought from the beginning. They weren't prepared to get married. For instance, they were married too fast, not realizing why they needed to get married and what type of person was following them. They were married because of an unexpected pregnancy. They may have been brought together by relatives.

If your marriage fits this category and you decide to split up, make some decisions to guide you in the future to ensure that you don't repeat the mistakes you made in the past. If your relationship was built on a long, enduring and trusting relationship, but there are issues it is possible that you need to work on your interpersonal skills. This isn't an indication of the "wrong" choice of partner.

6. If I get divorced due to sex issues, have you attempted to resolve the issue?

Problems with sexuality can be addressed in their way or through therapy. There aren't any compatible couples in which each spouse would like to get the same thing simultaneously. Also, there aren't any couples that have sex like in the romantic movie of the same name. Many people give up and instead, instead of showing a sense of flexibility, understanding and kindness towards one another.

Talk about your favourite things and what triggers discomfort or unhappiness. Talk to each other about what you'd like to hear. Be honest and transparent Listen calmly and concern the other person. Provide alternatives instead of complaining or criticisms. Before you get divorced due to "bad" sex, why not attempt to transform the bad into good?

7. Are my expectations from my spouse and marriage too high?

I am not suggesting that you endure cruel treatment or demeaning behaviour. I do suggest you think about the level of respect you can expect from your spouse for a spouse who creates a stable and harmonious atmosphere and love has an impressive career, earns lots of money, is obsessed with ironing and vacuuming, can repair the faucet, put up the doors, cook an elaborate dinner for five while you have two children in your care.