It's a long story but Will make it short.

I messed up financially and my wife supported me and our little child for a long time.

Luckily I finally got out of such lifestyle that ruined me financially.

And am busy fighting and trying everything to build myself up again.

But now my wife, the one who has supported me financially alot. Helped me paid my debts I got myself into.

Which I honestly do appreciate and are waiting patiently for the day am back on my feet again to financially show her my appreciation .

She now sees me as her greated Enemy.

Hates me with passion.

For a month she only cooked her own food noodles and ate or order take away.

If I cook she don't eat it.

I have been the one cooking.

Just once EVER she is washing cloths over the weekend, she removed my own cloths.

And weather rain or sun since I married her I have always help her to wash her own cloths with washing machine.

She now hates me with passion.

Her family became aware of the situation her family sided with her. Only her e
Most elder brother understood my concern and said he will speak to her.

My wife made every arrangements to move away from my house. I Luckily found out from her phone when I started seeking for answers why she hated me suddenly so much.

She called me lazy, etc. That I can't do these and that.

Though I have tried to explain to her the problem I had. And also I lost my job last year.

Almost 2 months now I live with a total stranger. One who don't call me name she used to call me before as her husband. She said she don't love me again. That nothing will make her live with me again.

We have 3 year old son.

The problem is that we don't live in Nigeria. I married and brought her over here 5 years ago.

She is working and Luckily doing fine in her own line of business.

Please these story is not complete. It's too long am just trying to make it as simple as possible.

Am not judging her. Like I said. I messed up financially which brought me down to my kneels as a man.

So please gge area I would like to know is should I ask her to leave as she wants to. She said she wants to go back to school. And chase her dream that we are 2 different people.

Mind you we never dated. I was encouraged by a family member that she was a good girl. I spoked with her and liked her alot. And I was looking to settle down. Got tired of the lifestyle of clubbing, changing woman from here and there over here.

She accepted my proposal and I did the traditional and her documents and she joined me.

So I want to know.

Should I let her leave.

I never treated her bad I anyway. I have always tried to do everything for her. Only that I took a bad path that ruined me. Now yes am broke. Struggling to build myself again.

I felt sick like fever for 3 days couldn't sleep at night my wife didn't even know.

There was a time I didn't have food to eat my wife ordered her food and eat up.

Am not demanding nothing as I know I brought it upon my self.

But as the deed is already done. Should I let her go?

I am gradually beginning to lose the trust I have for her.

I think her mind is finally made up. So if I must let her go. How best can I do these. Also about my son.

Thank you

lemme laugh fes

Secondly don't marry someone you didn't date

And lastly never make papers for traveling outside the shore of Nigeria for a woman, she's gonna meet someone better than you, prolly one white guy that have curly hair 😂😂


In essence op sorry okay take heart

Everybody go de alright las las.

You messed yourself up and by association messed your wife and your little boy up as well yet your wife supported and even helped paid the debts you accumulated through gambling I guess.

Now she wants to leave meaning she has seen you're not making reasonable effort to get back to normal and there's also a chance that you've not been completely healed of your iberibeism too. Everyone knows how it is with addictions.

If I were you, I'd not only let her leave me, I'd also leave myself too.😄

On a soft note though. I normally advise men to quit whenever ladies say "let's end this" but your case is different because na you be the only cause of the problem here.

I advise you humble yourself, be sincere and apologize for your misdeeds. Eventhough she seemed to have understood and helped you willingly, she still needs your unreserved apology.

Set a deadline to reverse your situation and work earnestly towards it.

All she needs is an 100% effort, not an 100% result except if she don find another man shaa.

I wish you good luck.

Did she say she wants to go?
If she goes, know that your son is so going with her.
And thirdly, who do you also want to leave your single mother to?
Keep her abeg… there are already too many single mothers out there.

let the woman go, and FIX YOUR LIFE!!! you are a liability to your wife, your child, your family!

1. You messed up financially.
2. She paid your debt and supported you.
3. You've not had a job since last year
4. She's fallen out of love with you
5. She's stop cooking for you or eating your food
6. You wonder if to tell her to go


Hmmm....it is well. Who pays the rent, bills, your son's bills(food, education, clothing, etc), grocery, etc? Why havent you gotten another job? When last year did you lose this job? How much was the debt she paid?

I dont think its your call to tell her to stay or leave. She will leave if she truly wants to leave with or without your consent. There is a woman on here weathering a similar storm like you described. Her husband is a gambler who spent a every cent that hits his hand on his addiction. She is getting ready to leave too.

MrBrownJay1:
let the woman go, and FIX YOUR LIFE!!! you are a liability to your wife, your child, your family!

thank you.

Score: Failure!

REASON: speaking Grammer without understanding the meaning

sisisioge:
1. You messed up financially.
2. She paid your debt and supported you.
3. You've not had a job since last year
4. She's fallen out of love with you
5. She's stop cooking for you or eating your food
6. You wonder if to tell her to go


Hmmm....it is well. Who pays the rent, bills, your son's bills(food, education, clothing, etc), grocery, etc? Why havent you gotten another job? When last year did you lose this job? How much was the debt she paid?

I dont think its your call to tell her to stay or leave. She will leave if she truly wants to leave with or without your consent. There is a woman on here weathering a similar storm like you described. Her husband is a gambler who spent a every cent that hits his hand on his addiction. She is getting ready to leave too.

Thanks so much. Your comment or questions speaks calm.

From the on set of my challenges.

Yes I lost alot of money. Was broke here and there.

But I still managed to bill my bills. Though not all the time. I still bought food .

I only seemed her help when I didn't have any other options left.

Which she helped me.

Lost my job November last year.

I have another little job i have been doing though it has upset and down and she was expecting a returns as she also contributed financially for me to start it.

I have been doing these putting all my best efforts. She does not understand the challenges in that industry. Now these was when she started showing up. And despite the challenges in these new industry am in I already felt things are already settled. And I moved on. I never planned to stay here for long I only planned to do these new hustle temporarily pending when I return to my main job. As my contract was only suspended due to new immigration policy. Which once am cleared of it. I will be back to work and everything will be sorted.

I know my wrongs. I know where and how are got it wrong.

I only asked her to give me time and have some patience that things will be back to normal soon. And I have been working so hard to make these happen.

But I guess she lost faith in me. She stopped believing. She only counts all the things she did and all the money she spent. (I wish I could do same but I know all i will be hearing is, it's your responsibility). But all is well.


So where it is now is that.
On my side. Honestly speaking. There is no big challenge, am over my demon.

And I strongly know that in few month maybe a month from now I should be back to work and the money I lost I should be recovering them and we will start spending more on material things and life will move on like nothing happened.

Yes she said she don't love me anymore.

She said we are different.
She said she wants to go.

I and her family have talked about the whole challenges and they want us to be in peace and settle. And I have never been against that. I love my wide. Like I said she plotted to move away without me knowing before I found out. And had to inform her family as she won't listen to me.

Yes she is a very hard working lady. But from the time I have been with her I know she has never experienced hardship or difficulties in life getting things she needs so she feels maybe as she has her skill that she does well and fetching her money. She does not need me she is forever sorted. These is my personal view.

So my point in all these is.

She is not coming around as a woman who wants to continue the marriage. So I feel maybe I should grant her her desire. Like telling her if she wants to walk away she is free to do so.

I can just wait after she leaves I will just inform her family. And maybe life moves on.

If i ask her questions or talk to her sometimes she don't reply me. She basically sees me as her enemy.

Hence am asking should I grant her her wish. I gave her her passport and other documents I made for her.

That she demanded.

As things are I am already starting to feel like I am living with a stranger.

Iamtirednow:
■Am not demanding nothing as I know I brought it upon my self. But as the deed is already done. Should I let her go? I am gradually beginning to lose the trust I have for her. I think her mind is finally made up. So if I must let her go. How best can I do these. Also about my son. Thank you

Is she asking for a divorce while you are not ready for it? Is that the case here? You said you do not live in Nigeria so I am guessing that is why you are asking, "Should I let her go?", right?

Westerhoffe:
Did she say she wants to go?
If she goes, know that your son is so going with her.
And thirdly, who do you also want to leave your single mother to?
Keep her abeg… there are already too many single mothers out there.

She said that and to her family.

Though her elder brother has spoken to her but her behavior speaks to as someone whose heart is made up.

So am thinking of granting her her desire for everyone sanity

Iamtirednow:



Thanks so much. Your comment or questions speaks calm.

From the on set of my challenges.

Yes I lost alot of money. Was broke here and there.

But I still managed to bill my bills. Though not all the time. I still bought food .

I only seemed her help when I didn't have any other options left.

Which she helped me.

Lost my job November last year.

I have another little job i have been doing though it has upset and down and she was expecting a returns as she also contributed financially for me to start it.

I have been doing these putting all my best efforts. She does not understand the challenges in that industry. Now these was when she started showing up. And despite the challenges in these new industry am in I already felt things are already settled. And I moved on. I never planned to stay here for long I only planned to do these new hustle temporarily pending when I return to my main job. As my contract was only suspended due to new immigration policy. Which once am cleared of it. I will be back to work and everything will be sorted.

I know my wrongs. I know where and how are got it wrong.

I only asked her to give me time and have some patience that things will be back to normal soon. And I have been working so hard to make these happen.

But I guess she lost faith in me. She stopped believing. She only counts all the things she did and all the money she spent. (I wish I could do same but I know all i will be hearing is, it's your responsibility). But all is well.


So where it is now is that.
On my side. Honestly speaking. There is no big challenge, am over my demon.

And I strongly know that in few month maybe a month from now I should be back to work and the money I lost I should be recovering them and we will start spending more on material things and life will move on like nothing happened.

Yes she said she don't love me anymore.

She said we are different.
She said she wants to go.

I and her family have talked about the whole challenges and they want us to be in peace and settle. And I have never been against that. I love my wide. Like I said she plotted to move away without me knowing before I found out. And had to inform her family as she won't listen to me.

Yes she is a very hard working lady. But from the time I have been with her I know she has never experienced hardship or difficulties in life getting things she needs so she feels maybe as she has her skill that she does well and fetching her money. She does not need me she is forever sorted. These is my personal view.

So my point in all these is.

She is not coming around as a woman who wants to continue the marriage. So I feel maybe I should grant her her desire. Like telling her if she wants to walk away she is free to do so.

I can just wait after she leaves I will just inform her family. And maybe life moves on.

If i ask her questions or talk to her sometimes she don't reply me. She basically sees me as her enemy.

Hence am asking should I grant her her wish. I gave her her passport and other documents I made for her.

That she demanded.

As things are I am already starting to feel like I am living with a stranger.

It is well. The point is still that she would leave if/when she's ready to leave without needing your consent. If I were you, I will have a heart to heart convo with her reiterating my new found strength and hope while assuring her that I will pay back money she paid to service my debt and invested in that side hustle you mentioned. This will atleast give her some peace. The thing about women who are well capable of taking care of themselves is that they honestly do not need men in that regards, all they want is companionship and peace. If you cant bring that to the table, love flies out the window before you can say Jack. Your madam's peace must have been threatened for her to be acting like this...pls assure her.

If all fails, then let her do as she pleases. You should just focus on being in a better place mentally, physically and financially. Good luck.

See op, forget the fact that you messed up big time, but fact still remain that a woman who has been deeply inlove with you will never leave you no matter what. Even though you're beating her.

The problem was from the beginning, you guys never dated, no any form of emotional bonding or connection. You were supposed to have build all those after getting married but you didn't because of the lifestyle and behaviour you displayed. This made the little "like" she had for you flew out of the window. And believe me, when a woman says she don't love you that is, no feelings whatsoever, there is nothing you can do about that. A woman is always very loyal to her feelings. If at all you succeeded in cajoling her to stay, she'll only do that because of maybe what she has to benefit like money, fame e.t.c. But in your own case you don't have any of that now.

So please for your sanity sake, just allow her do whatever she wants to do, it seems her mind is very made up. You can separate for a while and see how things go. If while at the separation nothing changes, then divorce is your best option so that you can move on with your life.

Life happens sha, sorry!

Iamtirednow:


She said that and to her family.

Though her elder brother has spoken to her but her behavior speaks to as someone whose heart is made up.

So am thinking of granting her her desire for everyone sanity

This one is strong…
Sorry man… you'd come back stronger.

Kobojunkie:
Is she asking for a divorce while you are not ready for it, is that the case or something? You said you do not live in Nigeria so I am guessing that is why you are asking, "Should I let her go?", right?

madam rest na
Don’t you get tired?

Iamtirednow:
It's a long story but Will make it short.

I messed up financially and my wife supported me and our little child for a long time.

Luckily I finally got out of such lifestyle that ruined me financially.

And am busy fighting and trying everything to build myself up again.

But now my wife, the one who has supported me financially alot. Helped me paid my debts I got myself into.

Which I honestly do appreciate and are waiting patiently for the day am back on my feet again to financially show her my appreciation .

She now sees me as her greated Enemy.

Hates me with passion.

For a month she only cooked her own food noodles and ate or order take away.

If I cook she don't eat it.

I have been the one cooking.

Just once EVER she is washing cloths over the weekend, she removed my own cloths.

And weather rain or sun since I married her I have always help her to wash her own cloths with washing machine.

She now hates me with passion.

Her family became aware of the situation her family sided with her. Only her e
Most elder brother understood my concern and said he will speak to her.

My wife made every arrangements to move away from my house. I Luckily found out from her phone when I started seeking for answers why she hated me suddenly so much.

She called me lazy, etc. That I can't do these and that.

Though I have tried to explain to her the problem I had. And also I lost my job last year.

Almost 2 months now I live with a total stranger. One who don't call me name she used to call me before as her husband. She said she don't love me again. That nothing will make her live with me again.

We have 3 year old son.

The problem is that we don't live in Nigeria. I married and brought her over here 5 years ago.

She is working and Luckily doing fine in her own line of business.

Please these story is not complete. It's too long am just trying to make it as simple as possible.

Am not judging her. Like I said. I messed up financially which brought me down to my kneels as a man.

So please gge area I would like to know is should I ask her to leave as she wants to. She said she wants to go back to school. And chase her dream that we are 2 different people.

Mind you we never dated. I was encouraged by a family member that she was a good girl. I spoked with her and liked her alot. And I was looking to settle down. Got tired of the lifestyle of clubbing, changing woman from here and there over here.

She accepted my proposal and I did the traditional and her documents and she joined me.

So I want to know.

Should I let her leave.

I never treated her bad I anyway. I have always tried to do everything for her. Only that I took a bad path that ruined me. Now yes am broke. Struggling to build myself again.

I felt sick like fever for 3 days couldn't sleep at night my wife didn't even know.

There was a time I didn't have food to eat my wife ordered her food and eat up.

Am not demanding nothing as I know I brought it upon my self.

But as the deed is already done. Should I let her go?

I am gradually beginning to lose the trust I have for her.

I think her mind is finally made up. So if I must let her go. How best can I do these. Also about my son.

Thank you

what a sad story

Iamtirednow:
It's a long story but Will make it short.

I messed up financially and my wife supported me and our little child for a long time.

Luckily I finally got out of such lifestyle that ruined me financially.

And am busy fighting and trying everything to build myself up again.

But now my wife, the one who has supported me financially alot. Helped me paid my debts I got myself into.

Which I honestly do appreciate and are waiting patiently for the day am back on my feet again to financially show her my appreciation .

She now sees me as her greated Enemy.

Hates me with passion.

For a month she only cooked her own food noodles and ate or order take away.

If I cook she don't eat it.

I have been the one cooking.

Just once EVER she is washing cloths over the weekend, she removed my own cloths.

And weather rain or sun since I married her I have always help her to wash her own cloths with washing machine.

She now hates me with passion.

Her family became aware of the situation her family sided with her. Only her e
Most elder brother understood my concern and said he will speak to her.

My wife made every arrangements to move away from my house. I Luckily found out from her phone when I started seeking for answers why she hated me suddenly so much.

She called me lazy, etc. That I can't do these and that.

Though I have tried to explain to her the problem I had. And also I lost my job last year.

Almost 2 months now I live with a total stranger. One who don't call me name she used to call me before as her husband. She said she don't love me again. That nothing will make her live with me again.

We have 3 year old son.

The problem is that we don't live in Nigeria. I married and brought her over here 5 years ago.

She is working and Luckily doing fine in her own line of business.

Please these story is not complete. It's too long am just trying to make it as simple as possible.

Am not judging her. Like I said. I messed up financially which brought me down to my kneels as a man.

So please gge area I would like to know is should I ask her to leave as she wants to. She said she wants to go back to school. And chase her dream that we are 2 different people.

Mind you we never dated. I was encouraged by a family member that she was a good girl. I spoked with her and liked her alot. And I was looking to settle down. Got tired of the lifestyle of clubbing, changing woman from here and there over here.

She accepted my proposal and I did the traditional and her documents and she joined me.

So I want to know.

Should I let her leave.

I never treated her bad I anyway. I have always tried to do everything for her. Only that I took a bad path that ruined me. Now yes am broke. Struggling to build myself again.

I felt sick like fever for 3 days couldn't sleep at night my wife didn't even know.

There was a time I didn't have food to eat my wife ordered her food and eat up.

Am not demanding nothing as I know I brought it upon my self.

But as the deed is already done. Should I let her go?

I am gradually beginning to lose the trust I have for her.

I think her mind is finally made up. So if I must let her go. How best can I do these. Also about my son.

Thank you

I think you should just let her be
If she wants to go let her go but don't chase her out and I'd she goes, keep communicating with her, as for uoir daughter, she will take care of her

When she goes use that period to reevaluate your life style

Use that time to start a fresh and work on yourself

You will come back bouncing then you will decide if you will go and search for her or move on

Once a woman opens her mouth to tell you that she doesn't love you any longer and puts it up in her character

Otilo

Your story get k-leg. She want to go bact to school and didn't ask for separation or divorcé.

LET HER GO! And then roll up your sleeves, put in your all to become a better man than she met and left.
Hold nothing against her!! Her eyes go clear eventually!! But then! It will be too late!
Will it be that easy? Definitely not! Will it be worth it at the end?? Definitely!
Wife or no wife, no one should be given the avenue to torture another emotionally!!
You have taken responsibility for your actions!! It's the way to go!!

Nemesis0147:
madam rest na. Don’t you get tired?

It is my attention you desperately desire here, right?

Iamtirednow:
thank you.
Score: Failure!
REASON: speaking Grammer without understanding the meaning

i am sorry but the FAILURE is the dude who wasted his money away with rubbish and now cant take care of his family for months, and is being abused like a 5yr old child by the woman who is tired to support him.

this is my opinion....take it or leave it:

MrBrownJay1:
let the woman go, and FIX YOUR LIFE!!! you are a liability to your wife, your child, your family!

Iamtirednow:



Thanks so much. Your comment or questions speaks calm.

From the on set of my challenges.

Yes I lost alot of money. Was broke here and there.

Oga stop explaining yourself & face reality
Women are wired differently from men, one of the most difficult thing for a woman is to support a man financially. Nothing kills a woman's love for a man faster than supporting that man financially, she will just hate the man overnight, because women hate spending money on a man. Some women may try initially, but it won't get long before they get tired. That was what happened to your wife. My advice to u is this, let her go if she wants to go, face your life squarely & see how u can get back on your feet. The more u try to beg that woman to stay, the more she will despise & humiliate u. Her presence may demoralize u to make progress, so let her go if she wish.

@OP did you do drugs.
I noticed that many Nigeria never noticed that the stuff also affect men in marriage financially and mentally

🫤

fyzaila:
See op, forget the fact that you messed up big time, but fact still remain that a woman who has been deeply inlove with you will never leave you no matter what. Even though you're beating her.

A woman who stays despite being continually beaten by her man is not being deeply in love but deeply struggling with very low self worth and esteem as her mind keeps rationalizing that her abuser is the best for her.

Similar thing happened to me but reversed was the case.
She organised a contribution and couldn't account for like a million naira. The debt affected her so much that she became really sick.
I had to be working hard spending all my income on paying debt i knew nothing about and baby sitting her.
Those were dark days mhen and my mind was made up that i would leave and start living my life.
One night i came home, met her crying profusely, apologising to me for all the things that happened and stuff, i was ice cold and later i told her i want to leave. She cried and cried and told me no problem. Even helped me packed my stuffs.

Long story short i left, rented an apartment, bought electronics of my dream.... but then after 1mth of staying alone (flexing my life) , i realised how much i loved her, i cudnt let her suffer alone, we have to fight our demons out together. Went back home to fight.. And now we re doing great, like really great.

Gaspardd:
Similar thing happened to me but reversed was the case.
She organised a contribution and couldn't account for like a million naira. The debt affected her so much that she became really sick.
I had to be working hard spending all my income on paying debt i knew nothing about and baby sitting her.
Those were dark days mhen and my mind was made up that i would leave and start living my life.
One night i came home, met her crying profusely, apologising to me for all the things that happened and stuff, i was ice cold and later i told her i want to leave. She cried and cried and told me no problem. Even helped me packed my stuffs.

Long story short i left, rented an apartment, bought electronics of my dream.... but then after 1mth of staying alone (flexing my life) , i realised how much i loved her, i cudnt let her suffer alone, we have to fight our demons out together. Went back home to fight.. And now we re doing great, like really great.

Interesting story!

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤭 So you married someone you don't know. You proposed to her while you were abroad and you think she will say no.

What makes you think she wasn't in love with someone else, before you showed up as a Messiah for "Japa."

She married you for your:
1.money
2.So she will be able to relocate to another country greener pasture.

So now the money has finished, you are of no importance. What is left for her now is to hustle; who knows, she may find a white man who loves her or maybe invite her main lover from Nigeria.

🤣🤭Sorry

That's one thing people fail to realize, whatever or whoever that made you go broke, go dey one side dey look all these drama. Just pray she forgives your shortcomings, so
you can bounce back again
May God intervene and grant her the ability to forgive you, so the home can be Peaceful again.

Mindlog:


A woman who stays despite being continually beaten by her man is not being deeply in love but deeply struggling with very low self worth and esteem as her mind keeps rationalizing that her abuser is the best for her.

How do you know is low self esteem? Are you a woman or have you studied women in such situations to come to that conclusion?

She will condone the beating because of the deep love she has for him and keep hoping that he'll change or stop one day.

fyzaila:


How do you know is low self esteem? Are you a woman or have you studied women in such situations to come to that conclusion?

She will condone the beating because of the deep love she has for him and keep hoping that he'll change or stop one day.

I have studied such women academically and worked with them severally in therapy sessions.

She condones the beatings not out of love but from the learned helplessness that she can't get anyone better than her abuser, who has conditioned her to have low sense of self.

Most times it goes on till the abuser is arrested, becomes incapacitated or someday, the victim snaps and kills the abuser....I have worked with female prisoners who killed their abusive intimate partners, the pattern is almost the same.