My story is a quite lengthy one… I am a woman in my 30’s married with 2 kids and super hardworking raised by an amazing single mom and I learned independence through my mom but I guess that is the problem I have in this life always trying to be a savior in my marriage
I married in church as a young lady , husband had a job he was doing though could barely feed 2 mouth but as Christian’s we decided to go on I had a very good job as at then while he was struggling , believing to get a better one
We got married and that became the genesis of our story he would come back looking frustrated and could hardly cater for the house. I took over the home by buying our first set of chairs, everything in general and took care of him I didn’t get pregnant with our first child until after the 10th month that was the beginning of my woes , I single handedly handled baby things, paid our rent and was still giving my husband money as well as a good wife everyone expected me to be.
I later realized he was lazy and would lament without making moves, he relented and relied on me for the needs of our baby and the house
I was getting frustrated as well as I was giving and giving with so much frustration from him he complains about everything in the house except food
He expects me to go and work , feed the house and do the chores while he stays on his phone 24/7 watching memes and laughing .
He would manipulate me into loaning him and would never return it’s been 6 years and nothing has changed I have reported him to his mom but my husband is like gold to his mom she thinks I am complaining and not enduring like she did for his dad
The dad didn’t send all 5 of them to school they had to hustle their way out of school
He says his mum was the bread winner and all his dad does was to eat and frustrate their mom
The woman endured till he died .
Now at 2nd child I am still struggling and it has gotten to my neck as he dosent appreciate it my hubby now says he dosent even want a job again he wants tot relocate we re mobile and all he does is go out with his friends if one of them have a car to fix they all go together and spend the whole day there
If I am sick he hardly looks my way day one you’d see him around taking care of me
The next day he expects you to be up and running for the house again I can’t communicate with him he raises his voice and abuses me verbally
I don’t keep friends , I don’t party and yes I am very exposed and loved to travel when I was single I’d save money towards trips out of Nigeria but since I got married it’s been crazy
It’s been 6 years and I can’t say my husband has ever given me a birthday card or even celebrate anything with me I also stopped gifting him when I noticed I have never received a pin from him
Yes before you judge me I know I have encouraged him way too much but then I was just being the typical wife our culture wants me to be.
I also was dreading having to make my mom sad and become a single mother or make my kids go through same thing I did as a child without a fathers love
He once slapped me while I was pregnant with our first child and also shoved me.
I really can’t take this anymore and I have had it up to my neck pls note that I have tried to endure but this man has made it difficult to be lovable
He would sit around the house and watch movies we struggle to pay rent all the time ever since I decided to stop paying it in 6 years I have paid the rent like 4 times while he couldn’t raise anything yet he’s ungrateful he only loves me anytime he needs something from me and he wants sex all the time.
What he did days ago broke the camels back I was really sick to death serious malaria and he took me to the hospital we got back late and truly he cared for me do you know that the next day he went to stay with a friend of his that had car issues at the mech from 8am to 7:30 pm without checking on me thankfully my mom was around that helped with the kids and was shocked
I yearn for so much love, attention, pampering that sometimes I imagine getting pampered by a man or even giving flowers. I also want to be loved and cared for I am so tired and I have decided to just end it and be at peace with myself as I wouldn’t want to cheat it’s been crazy trying to hold on the only thing he gives is sex and we fight alot about it
As I have to work, take care of the kids, do the chores and these things wear me out that most times I just want to sleep and sometimes I cry to bed. I didn’t know starting with nothing with a man isn’t the ideal thing my family got to know I have been the one running my home and that really got to my mom she says that could age me and totally wear me out carrying such load at my age I am just in my 30’s
please I wear the shoes and it hurts so bad that I am almost going into depression all I do is work, take care of my family I don’t have friends the only one I have is as childhood friend and she’s been abroad for years we only talk on phone and it’s really getting to me I don’t have my husbands attention, he hardly shows that he loves me , we don’t go out except when I just want my children to also go to the park to at least see people.he’s the only one that has friends , visits them , chat on his phone from morning till night. .

Funmijosh17:
My story is a quite lengthy one… I am a woman in my 30’s married with 2 kids and super hardworking raised by an amazing single mom and I learned independence through my mom but I guess that is the problem I have in this life always trying to be a savior in my marriage
I married in church as a young lady , husband had a job he was doing though could barely feed 2 mouth but as Christian’s we decided to go on I had a very good job as at then while he was struggling , believing to get a better one
We got married and that became the genesis of our story he would come back looking frustrated and could hardly cater for the house. I took over the home by buying our first set of chairs, everything in general and took care of him I didn’t get pregnant with our first child until after the 10th month that was the beginning of my woes , I single handedly handled baby things, paid our rent and was still giving my husband money as well as a good wife everyone expected me to be.
I later realized he was lazy and would lament without making moves, he relented and relied on me for the needs of our baby and the house
I was getting frustrated as well as I was giving and giving with so much frustration from him he complains about everything in the house except food
He expects me to go and work , feed the house and do the chores while he stays on his phone 24/7 watching memes and laughing .
He would manipulate me into loaning him and would never return it’s been 6 years and nothing has changed I have reported him to his mom but my husband is like gold to his mom she thinks I am complaining and not enduring like she did for his dad
The dad didn’t send all 5 of them to school they had to hustle their way out of school
He says his mum was the bread winner and all his dad does was to eat and frustrate their mom
The woman endured till he died .
Now at 2nd child I am still struggling and it has gotten to my neck as he dosent appreciate it my hubby now says he dosent even want a job again he wants tot relocate we re mobile and all he does is go out with his friends if one of them have a car to fix they all go together and spend the whole day there
If I am sick he hardly looks my way day one you’d see him around taking care of me
The next day he expects you to be up and running for the house again I can’t communicate with him he raises his voice and abuses me verbally
I don’t keep friends , I don’t party and yes I am very exposed and loved to travel when I was single I’d save money towards trips out of Nigeria but since I got married it’s been crazy
It’s been 6 years and I can’t say my husband has ever given me a birthday card or even celebrate anything with me I also stopped gifting him when I noticed I have never received a pin from him
Yes before you judge me I know I have encouraged him way too much but then I was just being the typical wife our culture wants me to be.
I also was dreading having to make my mom sad and become a single mother or make my kids go through same thing I did as a child without a fathers love
He once slapped me while I was pregnant with our first child and also shoved me.
I really can’t take this anymore and I have had it up to my neck pls note that I have tried to endure but this man has made it difficult to be lovable
He would sit around the house and watch movies we struggle to pay rent all the time ever since I decided to stop paying it in 6 years I have paid the rent like 4 times while he couldn’t raise anything yet he’s ungrateful he only loves me anytime he needs something from me and he wants sex all the time.
What he did days ago broke the camels back I was really sick to death serious malaria and he took me to the hospital we got back late and truly he cared for me do you know that the next day he went to stay with a friend of his that had car issues at the mech from 8am to 7:30 pm without checking on me thankfully my mom was around that helped with the kids and was shocked
I yearn for so much love, attention, pampering that sometimes I imagine getting pampered by a man or even giving flowers. I also want to be loved and cared for I am so tired and I have decided to just end it and be at peace with myself as I wouldn’t want to cheat it’s been crazy trying to hold on the only thing he gives is sex and we fight alot about it
As I have to work, take care of the kids, do the chores and these things wear me out that most times I just want to sleep and sometimes I cry to bed. I didn’t know starting with nothing with a man isn’t the ideal thing my family got to know I have been the one running my home and that really got to my mom she says that could age me and totally wear me out carrying such load at my age I am just in my 30’s
please I wear the shoes and it hurts so bad that I am almost going into depression all I do is work, take care of my family I don’t have friends the only one I have is as childhood friend and she’s been abroad for years we only talk on phone and it’s really getting to me I don’t have my husbands attention, he hardly shows that he loves me , we don’t go out except when I just want my children to also go to the park to at least see people.he’s the only one that has friends , visits them , chat on his phone from morning till night. .

Madam, you know what to do, so do it. Enough of the woe tales and take action biko. Abi what do you want a faceless forum to do on your behalf? I'm sure your mom will support whatever you decide having seen what your husband does to you. Sometimes, it is not worth it being with a man who doesn't know how to be a good husband or father..... Good luck.

Funmijosh17:
■ I yearn for so much love, attention, pampering that sometimes I imagine getting pampered by a man or even giving flowers. I also want to be loved and cared for I am so tired and I have decided to just end it and be at peace with myself as I wouldn’t want to cheat it’s been crazy trying to hold on the only thing he gives is sex and we fight alot about it
As I have to work, take care of the kids, do the chores and these things wear me out that most times I just want to sleep and sometimes I cry to bed. I didn’t know starting with nothing with a man isn’t the ideal thing my family got to know I have been the one running my home and that really got to my mom she says that could age me and totally wear me out carrying such load at my age I am just in my 30’s
please I wear the shoes and it hurts so bad that I am almost going into depression all I do is work, take care of my family I don’t have friends the only one I have is as childhood friend and she’s been abroad for years we only talk on phone and it’s really getting to me I don’t have my husbands attention, he hardly shows that he loves me , we don’t go out except when I just want my children to also go to the park to at least see people.he’s the only one that has friends , visits them , chat on his phone from morning till night. .

So basically you have been married to yourself for about 6 years now all while babysitting and catering to the every whims of your baby daddy as he walks all over you. You obviously are aware he cares little for you and also for your kids yet you continue to play house in order to hold on to the "Mrs" title. How is this setup you have going for yourself better than being single again?

How much longer do you intend to torture yourself for that "Mrs" badge, and what message are you sending your children as far as relationships are concerned since they must have realized that mommy is the robot in the house by now. Kids are not stupid , you know.

Please find time to get some professional mental health counseling for yourself and your self-esteem so you can advance forward in your life and situation.

Funmijosh17:
My story is a quite lengthy one… I am a woman in my 30’s married with 2 kids and super hardworking raised by an amazing single mom and I learned independence through my mom but I guess that is the problem I have in this life always trying to be a savior in my marriage
I married in church as a young lady , husband had a job he was doing though could barely feed 2 mouth but as Christian’s we decided to go on I had a very good job as at then while he was struggling , believing to get a better one
We got married and that became the genesis of our story he would come back looking frustrated and could hardly cater for the house. I took over the home by buying our first set of chairs, everything in general and took care of him I didn’t get pregnant with our first child until after the 10th month that was the beginning of my woes , I single handedly handled baby things, paid our rent and was still giving my husband money as well as a good wife everyone expected me to be.
I later realized he was lazy and would lament without making moves, he relented and relied on me for the needs of our baby and the house
I was getting frustrated as well as I was giving and giving with so much frustration from him he complains about everything in the house except food
He expects me to go and work , feed the house and do the chores while he stays on his phone 24/7 watching memes and laughing .
He would manipulate me into loaning him and would never return it’s been 6 years and nothing has changed I have reported him to his mom but my husband is like gold to his mom she thinks I am complaining and not enduring like she did for his dad
The dad didn’t send all 5 of them to school they had to hustle their way out of school
He says his mum was the bread winner and all his dad does was to eat and frustrate their mom
The woman endured till he died .
Now at 2nd child I am still struggling and it has gotten to my neck as he dosent appreciate it my hubby now says he dosent even want a job again he wants tot relocate we re mobile and all he does is go out with his friends if one of them have a car to fix they all go together and spend the whole day there
If I am sick he hardly looks my way day one you’d see him around taking care of me
The next day he expects you to be up and running for the house again I can’t communicate with him he raises his voice and abuses me verbally
I don’t keep friends , I don’t party and yes I am very exposed and loved to travel when I was single I’d save money towards trips out of Nigeria but since I got married it’s been crazy
It’s been 6 years and I can’t say my husband has ever given me a birthday card or even celebrate anything with me I also stopped gifting him when I noticed I have never received a pin from him
Yes before you judge me I know I have encouraged him way too much but then I was just being the typical wife our culture wants me to be.
I also was dreading having to make my mom sad and become a single mother or make my kids go through same thing I did as a child without a fathers love
He once slapped me while I was pregnant with our first child and also shoved me.
I really can’t take this anymore and I have had it up to my neck pls note that I have tried to endure but this man has made it difficult to be lovable
He would sit around the house and watch movies we struggle to pay rent all the time ever since I decided to stop paying it in 6 years I have paid the rent like 4 times while he couldn’t raise anything yet he’s ungrateful he only loves me anytime he needs something from me and he wants sex all the time.
What he did days ago broke the camels back I was really sick to death serious malaria and he took me to the hospital we got back late and truly he cared for me do you know that the next day he went to stay with a friend of his that had car issues at the mech from 8am to 7:30 pm without checking on me thankfully my mom was around that helped with the kids and was shocked
I yearn for so much love, attention, pampering that sometimes I imagine getting pampered by a man or even giving flowers. I also want to be loved and cared for I am so tired and I have decided to just end it and be at peace with myself as I wouldn’t want to cheat it’s been crazy trying to hold on the only thing he gives is sex and we fight alot about it
As I have to work, take care of the kids, do the chores and these things wear me out that most times I just want to sleep and sometimes I cry to bed. I didn’t know starting with nothing with a man isn’t the ideal thing my family got to know I have been the one running my home and that really got to my mom she says that could age me and totally wear me out carrying such load at my age I am just in my 30’s
please I wear the shoes and it hurts so bad that I am almost going into depression all I do is work, take care of my family I don’t have friends the only one I have is as childhood friend and she’s been abroad for years we only talk on phone and it’s really getting to me I don’t have my husbands attention, he hardly shows that he loves me , we don’t go out except when I just want my children to also go to the park to at least see people.he’s the only one that has friends , visits them , chat on his phone from morning till night. .

GOOD MORNING MA'AM.... I sincerely feel your pain and as a Man, I apologize in shame for what my gender has put you through. Hmmm, let's proceed to solving this.


First off, I want you NEVER to blame yourself for anything.... YOU MARRIED A BOY not a MAN. You were not duly informed or you didnt date long enough under mature counseling and guidance.
Secondly, I need you to understand that OUR CULTURE about MARRIAGE especially towards WOMEN is very insane and toxic and take away the voice and power of a woman IN THE NAME OF SUBMISSION(which has been miscommunicated as slavery by religious peeps and ancestry)


Now, before you do anything I want to CLAP FOR YOU AND APPLAUD YOU for being a SUPER MOM and a GOOD WIFE/MOTHER to the MANCHILD you married. You too much, you have the patience that a million women do not have. In as much as I am in awe of all you did in submission/slavery to such a man.... I must say, YOU ARE UNDER A WITCHCRAFT SPELL.

Pls o, GET HIS PHONES AND TRACK THEM(I wish I can hold a totally free class on that here on nairaland so that people will not be victims anymore but I am too busy)... Get softwares like Mspyy TO BE ABLE TO SEE EVERYTHING IN HIS SMS, WHATSAPP, TELEGRAM, VOICE CALL LOGS and even ear his calls. Just to be sure he is not cheating. AWARENESS is PROTECTION

WITCHCRAFT is not superstition or some spiritual stuff.... it is simply a craft, a MANIPULATION. His mom is manipulating you, and he is 100% a narcissistic dude. Pls you need to get COUNSELORS fast who can speak to you both with wisdom as to how to manage this situation or dissolve the marriage. Pardon me for hinting a divorce but madam, I feel you were played and deceived from the start. That man must have felt you were desperate to marry young and you had a working financial status with good money, so you were the answer to his prayer. He married you only to use you, not to love you and build with you.

I know someone may come here and say there are TWO SIDES to the story but honestly what you wrote here is balanced enough. Madam, you need help urgently. You don't know if he cheats and one day may give you STI's or STDs .....You said he has hit you before... HE MAY ALSO STAB YOU ONE DAY IF YOU DO NOT GET EXTERNAL HELP TO SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE AND YOURSELF.

Pls I do not believe in the fake tears he may shed later or false promises of change. You need to physically and socially distance yourself from such a man, till you HEAL MENTALLY, EMOTIONALLY AND SPIRITUALLY. From your story, I discern that you do not have a VOICE from your family to SPEAK UP FOR YOU. You need one ohhhhh.

Now, in your healing process, you would need to join SISTER COMMUNITIES, LADIES FORUMS, WOMEN IN BUSINESS OR TECH.... whatever names they call it, JOIN THEM AND FLY.... let nothing stop you. You would need to join support groups too. You would need spiritual fortification and healing. Oh, I feel bad for what you have gone through but THERE IS HOPE. I wish you didnt have a second child, pls protect yourself medically from such next time till he has proven to be a changed man. You should not be having HBP because of a man.

Madam, pls save money, stash money somewhere for the day you will MOVE.... JAPA from that house. You need friends who can support you financially. The day you MOVE, pls change your number, social media handles, every way he can get to you pls block it. For at least 6 months. Then if he doesn't show remorse and upgrade and true repentance, MOVE ON. You have been saved from marital dracula and you will recover your life blood with time. You will be a great mother to your blessed innocent children.

Pls I wish your mom told you how she was single, so you know how wicked men can be and fortify yourself against men. I do not blame ladies who use their menst*al blood to HOOK DOWN THEIR HUSBANDS because some men are just BOYS with beards. You seem decent and moral, pls HAVE A STRONG PRAYER ROUTINE..... There is nothing ordinary about your situation. You will only be a casualty if you handle it casually.

There are WOMEN RIGHTS GROUPS you need to alert, so that they can check up on you from time to time... IF ANYTHING HAPPENS, HE CAN BE ARRESTED. Pls there is no religious or cultural obligation you have to such a BOY... such a MANCHILD. SUBMISSION EVEN IN THE BIBLE IS MISUNDERSTOOD BY MANY POPULAR PASTORS. GOD is not an author of confusion, it is not all MARITAL UNIONS that were joined by GOD.... some were joined by juju, some by friends, some by even pastors or clerics, some by greed or deception.... so they can be PUT ASUNDER, they can be broken up even by GOD.

It is ONLY what GOD JOINs, that GOD COMMANDS THAT NO MAN SHOULD BREAK UP. Marrying in CHURCH does not mean that GOD approved oh.

For Your Information ma.... NOT ALL MEN ARE WORTH SUBMITTING TO..... even in THE BOOK OF GENESIS... ADAM HAD A PLACE TO LIVE, A JOB, HE HAD A STRONG RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD before GOD SAID IT IS NOT GOOD FOR HIM TO BE ALONE.... Soooooo for any man who is less than these level of accountable steward leadership... IT IS GOOD FOR HIM TO REMAIN ALONE.


Let me stop here. I hope I poured out my heart enough to heal some of the broken pieces of yours. These few words are my honest opinions. May GOD who sees all and knows all, help you ma.

Write his name on bay leaf and burn it for three nights... He will change.

Or come and see my prophet at ajah

woginid967:
Write his name on bay leaf and burn it for three nights... He will change. Or come and see my prophet at ajah

Unbeweavable!

Well sometimes you’ve just had it to your neck can’t take it in and feel the need to share so you’d totally have it off your chest hence the need to share in a faceless forum like you said.
Thanks for at least taking your time to read and respond.

Madam, you know what to do, so do it. Enough of the woe tales and take action biko. Abi what do you want a faceless forum to do on your behalf? I'm sure your mom will support whatever you decide having seen what your husband does to you. Sometimes, it is not worth it being with a man who doesn't know how to be a good husband or father..... Good luck. [/quote]

Reading this got me really teary and I can’t help but affirm to everything you said as it has played in my head for years but I refused to believe that he’s all this and more.
Thank you so much as you do not know how much these words got to me and gave me the strenght needed to make things right focus on my kids and just walk away.
God bless you I can’t thank you enough!


GOOD MORNING MA'AM.... I sincerely feel your pain and as a Man, I apologize in shame for what my gender has put you through. Hmmm, let's proceed to solving this.


First off, I want you NEVER to blame yourself for anything.... YOU MARRIED A BOY not a MAN. You were not duly informed or you didnt date long enough under mature counseling and guidance.
Secondly, I need you to understand that OUR CULTURE about MARRIAGE especially towards WOMEN is very insane and toxic and take away the voice and power of a woman IN THE NAME OF SUBMISSION(which has been miscommunicated as slavery by religious peeps and ancestry)


Now, before you do anything I want to CLAP FOR YOU AND APPLAUD YOU for being a SUPER MOM and a GOOD WIFE/MOTHER to the MANCHILD you married. You too much, you have the patience that a million women do not have. In as much as I am in awe of all you did in submission/slavery to such a man.... I must say, YOU ARE UNDER A WITCHCRAFT SPELL.

Pls o, GET HIS PHONES AND TRACK THEM(I wish I can hold a totally free class on that here on nairaland so that people will not be victims anymore but I am too busy)... Get softwares like Mspyy TO BE ABLE TO SEE EVERYTHING IN HIS SMS, WHATSAPP, TELEGRAM, VOICE CALL LOGS and even ear his calls. Just to be sure he is not cheating. AWARENESS is PROTECTION

WITCHCRAFT is not superstition or some spiritual stuff.... it is simply a craft, a MANIPULATION. His mom is manipulating you, and he is 100% a narcissistic dude. Pls you need to get COUNSELORS fast who can speak to you both with wisdom as to how to manage this situation or dissolve the marriage. Pardon me for hinting a divorce but madam, I feel you were played and deceived from the start. That man must have felt you were desperate to marry young and you had a working financial status with good money, so you were the answer to his prayer. He married you only to use you, not to love you and build with you.

I know someone may come here and say there are TWO SIDES to the story but honestly what you wrote here is balanced enough. Madam, you need help urgently. You don't know if he cheats and one day may give you STI's or STDs .....You said he has hit you before... HE MAY ALSO STAB YOU ONE DAY IF YOU DO NOT GET EXTERNAL HELP TO SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE AND YOURSELF.

Pls I do not believe in the fake tears he may shed later or false promises of change. You need to physically and socially distance yourself from such a man, till you HEAL MENTALLY, EMOTIONALLY AND SPIRITUALLY. From your story, I discern that you do not have a VOICE from your family to SPEAK UP FOR YOU. You need one ohhhhh.

Now, in your healing process, you would need to join SISTER COMMUNITIES, LADIES FORUMS, WOMEN IN BUSINESS OR TECH.... whatever names they call it, JOIN THEM AND FLY.... let nothing stop you. You would need to join support groups too. You would need spiritual fortification and healing. Oh, I feel bad for what you have gone through but THERE IS HOPE. I wish you didnt have a second child, pls protect yourself medically from such next time till he has proven to be a changed man. You should not be having HBP because of a man.

Madam, pls save money, stash money somewhere for the day you will MOVE.... JAPA from that house. You need friends who can support you financially. The day you MOVE, pls change your number, social media handles, every way he can get to you pls block it. For at least 6 months. Then if he doesn't show remorse and upgrade and true repentance, MOVE ON. You have been saved from marital dracula and you will recover your life blood with time. You will be a great mother to your blessed innocent children.

Pls I wish your mom told you how she was single, so you know how wicked men can be and fortify yourself against men. I do not blame ladies who use their menst*al blood to HOOK DOWN THEIR HUSBANDS because some men are just BOYS with beards. You seem decent and moral, pls HAVE A STRONG PRAYER ROUTINE..... There is nothing ordinary about your situation. You will only be a casualty if you handle it casually.

There are WOMEN RIGHTS GROUPS you need to alert, so that they can check up on you from time to time... IF ANYTHING HAPPENS, HE CAN BE ARRESTED. Pls there is no religious or cultural obligation you have to such a BOY... such a MANCHILD. SUBMISSION EVEN IN THE BIBLE IS MISUNDERSTOOD BY MANY POPULAR PASTORS. GOD is not an author of confusion, it is not all MARITAL UNIONS that were joined by GOD.... some were joined by juju, some by friends, some by even pastors or clerics, some by greed or deception.... so they can be PUT ASUNDER, they can be broken up even by GOD.

It is ONLY what GOD JOINs, that GOD COMMANDS THAT NO MAN SHOULD BREAK UP. Marrying in CHURCH does not mean that GOD approved oh.

For Your Information ma.... NOT ALL MEN ARE WORTH SUBMITTING TO..... even in THE BOOK OF GENESIS... ADAM HAD A PLACE TO LIVE, A JOB, HE HAD A STRONG RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD before GOD SAID IT IS NOT GOOD FOR HIM TO BE ALONE.... Soooooo for any man who is less than these level of accountable steward leadership... IT IS GOOD FOR HIM TO REMAIN ALONE.


Let me stop here. I hope I poured out my heart enough to heal some of the broken pieces of yours. These few words are my honest opinions. May GOD who sees all and knows all, help you ma. [/quote]

I can't comment because this story is one sided
He can't be that bad as you painted him

[thank you but contrary to what you said I am not one to hold on to a Mrs title like it’s a pass to heaven no! I only tried to make my marriage work.

So basically you have been married to yourself for about 6 years now all while babysitting and catering to the every whims of your baby daddy as he walks all over you. You obviously are aware he cares little for you and also for your kids yet you continue to play house in order to hold on to the "Mrs" title. How is this setup you have going for yourself better than being single again?

How much longer do you intend to torture yourself for that "Mrs" badge, and what message are you sending your children as far as relationships are concerned since they must have realized that mommy is the robot in the house by now. Kids are not stupid , you know.

Please find time to get some professional mental health counseling for yourself and your self-esteem so you can advance forward in your life and situation. [/quote]

[it can’t be that bad you say? That a woman shouldered responsibilities 100% for years and she married someone that dosent have a job per say that can cater for his family yet appreciates nothing?
Would you have preferred I said oh he had a job lost it and I started taking up the roles? I guess then it won’t be one sided you’d say isn’t that what marriage is about to be there for one another? while this man has never been there for me. I will never decide to make up a story against someone let alone my husband I wasn’t taught that way I’d say it exactly the way it is not when kids are also involved.

I can't comment because this story is one sided
He can't be that bad as you painted him[/quote]

Adebaba1:
I can't comment because this story is one sided
He can't be that bad as you painted him

That's the problem.

But oga you know fit do like her husband no mean say another man no fit do am.

He is one of those unserious men.
He will never change
Marriage is not for everybody
Take care of yourself and child that's what matters most in life.
Babe! Move On!
@ Funmijosh17

Funmijosh17:
■ thank you but contrary to what you said I am not one to hold on to a Mrs title like it’s a pass to heaven no! I only tried to make my marriage work.

Your OP makes us aware you've known for quite some time that your marriage died a long time ago... it wasn't even on life support. Sadly, you continued living with the corpse even after that. Your current frustration is not because of the man but because you are finally mentally exhausted after carrying the corpse around for so long. I hope you are finally ready to bury it and move forward.

I truly recommend you seek professional mental health therapy cause it has to have been mentally hard to carry all that load alone in the name of marriage for that long. You are still very young and still have lots of life in you. Therapy can help you bounce back quickly, and maybe, just maybe you might find love again but at least you first need to learn to love yourself first.

Move on.

Funmijosh17:
it can’t be that bad you say? That a woman shouldered responsibilities 100% for years and she married someone that dosent have a job per say that can cater for his family yet appreciates nothing?
Would you have preferred I said oh he had a job lost it and I started taking up the roles? I guess then it won’t be one sided you’d say isn’t that what marriage is about to be there for one another? while this man has never been there for me. I will never decide to make up a story against someone let alone my husband I wasn’t taught that way I’d say it exactly the way it is not when kids are also involved.

See! There are no medals out there for people who suffer even this your kain suffering wey you carry for head for marriage! So you will do yourself good to find the best way forward for you and your kids at this point.