maasoap:

That's exactly what he needed

Dogalmighty17:
You arrested and lucked up your husband for 2 days? No one is dumb here ma. No right thinking woman just suddenly locks up her husband. Was there food in the kitchen for him when he came home? Did you cook for yourself and just the children?

There are other crises resolution and mediation channels available to resolve issues within spouses. Did you explore any of them?

You most probably had nurtured this thought of locking your husband up for a while. You also most probably have mocked him in your actions and your words.

Madam, you don buy market o! I assure you of this, your husband will never forgive you. The day that man gets a job and finds his feet you will be the one begging for divorce.

I am not making excuses for him. Your husband is going through serious depression. No man wants to not be able to provide for his family. The present economy doesn't help at all. You could have handled the situation better.

Samantha124:
I'm sorry to say this, but your husband is childish.

If he was my husband and he starts emotionally blackmailing me like that by refusing to leave those police cells... I was going to leave him there until the police kick him out, or until he decides to leave.

As long as I'd have apologized to him and explained the reason why I got him arrested, I'd have left him there with his childish tantrums.

Maybe it's because I don't tolerate nonsense.

Damilolly:
OP, when he was beating you, you should have just taken the beaten and hoped for the best.

At least he didn't kill you. If he'd killed you and then is sentenced to prison for life the children would've been left to be orphans.

You've made that difficult now cos he knows you'll call the police if he turns violent again so his plan is scuttled. So what is he to do??

You've chosen you and your children's safety and maintaining law and order in the society over allowing him test how good a punching bag you are. Maybe disconnect the phone and ask him to re-do the exercise.

Ensa777:


What if he had killed her?you think she too isn't depressed.You think she's taking her duty and her man's primary duty happily?

Madam,stop apologizing and ignore him.What you did was to send a message to his drunken head.He won't try it next time.
Whereas other men will seek solution to their joblessness,he's here compounding the problem.
Buru ogbenye buru amusu

Samantha124:
But it's okay for her husband to take action out of anger? Okay.

Verokeena:
Good afternoon Nl family
Please pardon my epistle

My husband lost his job two years ago and ever since he has been so reluctant on getting another.. not to brag but I can say I have been the one keeping the family going ever since the job incidence (not like I ever complained) .

What I noticed about him is he now drinks and smokes and he is always hissing (obviously he is not happy and I try to always console him just to elate his Spirit)

Fast forward to last two months.. I got back from work and I was very tired.. I had to go pick the kids from school , bathe them, feed them and to make matters worst I wasn't feeling too alright .. (when I got home he (my husband) wasn't at home)

When I was done with the kids and fixing the house I was so tired I thought to myself to take a lil nap that was how I slept off (and this was around 9pm) ..

He got back around 10pm obviously drunk and smelling like a skunk.. he went straight to the kitchen. That was how the whole problem started.. first was insult.. then my phone, smashed it on the ground later my clothes he started tearing them .. saying all those things he was destroying was why I was feeling untouchable that he knows I have male friends sleeping with me..

I tried securing my items so he doesn't destroy more things that was how he pounced on me..

The next day I got him arrested he spent two days there.. but now I feel so guilty... He doesn't talk to me anymore.. I have apologized times without number

I don't just know what to do...


Nb: even while he was there I was still taking food to him

Persephone1:
While you have been on all pages ranting on and on without paying half attention to Op's desires. Worst enemies indeed

malcom1X:


The husband lost his job, she refused him sex. You get the picture?

The husband now thinks she's cheating.. then she arrested the husband for two days...

The marriage is gone, she doesn't know.

Ilekokonit:
■ He now sees you as capable of killing him 'cos a lot of men have been beaten to death in prisons by hardened criminals and convicted murderers and you also never know if he was sexually assaulted in prison or almost beaten to death in prison.
I have a friend in London who told his wife before marriage that the day she calls the cops on him is the day the marriage will end because he is quite stubborn and will not go with the police quietly and in the ensuing struggle, they may end up breaking his neck or killing him in custody and he also told her that for her to call the cops to arrest, handcuff and bundle him down and out in front of his kids means that there is no way he will continue in that marriage as to do otherwise would be to set a bad example for his son in what he should tolerate.
Your only option is to get someone from your family that he respects to plead with him on your behalf 'cos if you try telling his family, they will blame you for jailing their son.On another level for him to feel that its your phone or nice clothes that were making you feel untouchable, there may be something about the way you argue with him or look down or talk down to him that is making him feel less of a man. If so, please make amends IF you still want the marriage.

Samantha124:
I like the fact that you said if it's worth reporting, because most of you guys don't see GBV as worth reporting there... It's a normal thing for you guys.

Your women die in silence everyday because it's not worth reporting.

Of course femicide cases would be low in your country because you don't see it as WORTH REPORTING!!!

Verokeena:
Good afternoon Nl family
Please pardon my epistle

My husband lost his job two years ago and ever since he has been so reluctant on getting another.. not to brag but I can say I have been the one keeping the family going ever since the job incidence (not like I ever complained) .

What I noticed about him is he now drinks and smokes and he is always hissing (obviously he is not happy and I try to always console him just to elate his Spirit)

Fast forward to last two months.. I got back from work and I was very tired.. I had to go pick the kids from school , bathe them, feed them and to make matters worst I wasn't feeling too alright .. (when I got home he (my husband) wasn't at home)

When I was done with the kids and fixing the house I was so tired I thought to myself to take a lil nap that was how I slept off (and this was around 9pm) ..

He got back around 10pm obviously drunk and smelling like a skunk.. he went straight to the kitchen. That was how the whole problem started.. first was insult.. then my phone, smashed it on the ground later my clothes he started tearing them .. saying all those things he was destroying was why I was feeling untouchable that he knows I have male friends sleeping with me..

I tried securing my items so he doesn't destroy more things that was how he pounced on me..

The next day I got him arrested he spent two days there.. but now I feel so guilty... He doesn't talk to me anymore.. I have apologized times without number

I don't just know what to do...


Nb: even while he was there I was still taking food to him

Verysmart101:


Oh my goodness.I thought u were so matured until u wrote this shit.How can u arrest Ur own husband and u still live with him in the same house? Aren't u intelligent at all? She admitted the man did wat he did on the influence of alcohol and u open mouth waaaa dey cap nonsense from Ur empty brain.Shame on u honestly

UnfairLife7:
if paradventure you found a friend or sister in Op situation willing to sacrifice everything all in the name of marriage to an irresponsible man. I expected you to talk her out of it. She doesn't deserve to be in that mess called marriage

Styluss:
No, Femicide cases is low in Nigeria because they dont end up dead. We are not killers and not so many couples engage in domestic violence. Marriages are still sacred and respected in most of the regions over here. My babe do not believe in marriage either, it begs for concern if marriage is even necessary in SA.

dreamxhaser:


You think it's easy

The man was going through a lot. I've seen young boys passing through family issues start taking drugs not to talk of a grown man who lost his job.

Do you know what the community must have been saying and treated him?

You are not nice with your comment, neither is his wife that locked him up. From her story, she's obviously a good wife, but she got it wrong at that point. Just because she's been good dosen't mean we should overlook the bad she did.

Dammm, that man might never forget this. I am certain the moment he gets his shit right (which he eventually will) he will remind her of this.

Kobojunkiee:
You keep insinuating that OP's desire to have her marriage back means she now has to live as a punching bag in the marriage. I obviously disagree as I don't believe there exists any reality — or cultural excuse for that matter — where a sane woman who knows to call the cops when attacked, would consider settling into a toxic relationship as her only option.

You see where you got it all wrong. I really hate it when people throw tantrums on baseless assumptions. Is this all you can deduce from all my posts? oh lawd!

Are you saying Op should keep on arresting her husband if she wants to remain married?

Verokeena:
Good afternoon Nl family
Please pardon my epistle

My husband lost his job two years ago and ever since he has been so reluctant on getting another.. not to brag but I can say I have been the one keeping the family going ever since the job incidence (not like I ever complained) .

What I noticed about him is he now drinks and smokes and he is always hissing (obviously he is not happy and I try to always console him just to elate his Spirit)

Fast forward to last two months.. I got back from work and I was very tired.. I had to go pick the kids from school , bathe them, feed them and to make matters worst I wasn't feeling too alright .. (when I got home he (my husband) wasn't at home)

When I was done with the kids and fixing the house I was so tired I thought to myself to take a lil nap that was how I slept off (and this was around 9pm) ..

He got back around 10pm obviously drunk and smelling like a skunk.. he went straight to the kitchen. That was how the whole problem started.. first was insult.. then my phone, smashed it on the ground later my clothes he started tearing them .. saying all those things he was destroying was why I was feeling untouchable that he knows I have male friends sleeping with me..

I tried securing my items so he doesn't destroy more things that was how he pounced on me..

The next day I got him arrested he spent two days there.. but now I feel so guilty... He doesn't talk to me anymore.. I have apologized times without number

I don't just know what to do...


Nb: even while he was there I was still taking food to him

BennyDGreat:


Don't get me wrong. The man was under influence of alcohol and can never behave in a rational way.

No matter what's done now, only God can restore her marriage because it's a very slippery affair at the moment

Verysmart101:


For Ur mind it's easier said right.U will realise Ur a human trust me in no distant time

Verokeena:



This your comment is really unfair...

This has nothing to do with his financial status.. for two years i tried everything within my strength to make him not feel like he was jobless.. at a point i connected him to a job but he turned it down cos he feels that position is too low for him..



But thanks for your contributions

Persephone1:
You see where you got it all wrong. I really hate it when people throw tantrums on baseless assumptions. Is this all you can deduce from all my posts? oh lawd! Are you saying Op should keep on arresting her husband if she wants to remain married?

Kobojunkie:
So, the man could not have at least helped out his wife at home who had been playing superwoman all the two years he was without work. Na beer parlor him know to make connections for?

UnfairLife7:
rather put, the man has lost a precious woman who fed him for two years without his penny. Even if the man become billionaire today he can't find someone like Op.

Verokeena:
Good afternoon Nl family
Please pardon my epistle

My husband lost his job two years ago and ever since he has been so reluctant on getting another.. not to brag but I can say I have been the one keeping the family going ever since the job incidence (not like I ever complained) .

What I noticed about him is he now drinks and smokes and he is always hissing (obviously he is not happy and I try to always console him just to elate his Spirit)

Fast forward to last two months.. I got back from work and I was very tired.. I had to go pick the kids from school , bathe them, feed them and to make matters worst I wasn't feeling too alright .. (when I got home he (my husband) wasn't at home)

When I was done with the kids and fixing the house I was so tired I thought to myself to take a lil nap that was how I slept off (and this was around 9pm) ..

He got back around 10pm obviously drunk and smelling like a skunk.. he went straight to the kitchen. That was how the whole problem started.. first was insult.. then my phone, smashed it on the ground later my clothes he started tearing them .. saying all those things he was destroying was why I was feeling untouchable that he knows I have male friends sleeping with me..

I tried securing my items so he doesn't destroy more things that was how he pounced on me..

The next day I got him arrested he spent two days there.. but now I feel so guilty... He doesn't talk to me anymore.. I have apologized times without number

I don't just know what to do...


Nb: even while he was there I was still taking food to him