Hey Nairalanders and happy Sunday.

waking up from sleep and still , feeling a little bit wonky. Lying on the bed and deciding to visit Nairaland to see whats going on.

I ended up in the romance section, now dont judge me guys, I am not looking for romance but I realize this section has the least of tribal gbas gbos on Nairalaand.

Now, I was reading me a thread and I came across a discussion about girls not wanting to date broke guys.

This got me into thinking and it took me back in time. I went into a deep reflection of myself and the dating process.

What it means for me and a typical young man in Nigeria of today.

At the end of my reflection, a question popped in my mind which I find very important and I would like for us to discuss and flesh out.

Why in the world would a broke or struggling guy want to date?

Is it wirth it and does it even make any sense?

Now broke guys , don't come after me with your pitch forks and matchete,

I am, by no means, trying to broke shame you. I myself was a full member at the "Broke Men Bible church" before I got my shits together.

I come in peace and i am on your side okay.

Phew! now, back to our topic of discussion, I want us to objectively evaluate the dating scene especially in Nigeria and see if its worth it for a broke guy to get involved in the procesd.

Now, for the purpose of this thread, permit me to define the act of dating as, two people coming into an intimate and committed relationship.

It may be short term or long term,sexual or not.

A young person is an individual in their late teens, including early or late twenties.

This time frame for the guy is the most important and what you do within this time interval will set a stage for how the rest of your life will play out.

As a man, you are respected and have intrinsic value if you are able to get your shits together early in life. This include; your career, finances and emotions.

Dating for a young guy entails a lot of things and i will attempt to list a few;
Time ,Money, Emotions,Energy and lots of other things.

Now for a young man, the first thing in life is to settle yourself financially, get your career out of the way, professional exams, and your finances before you consider even dating.

To succeed as a young guy, you need to put a lot of money, energy, time and emotions into yourself.
These are what you girlfriend or will demand and take away from you in a dating relationship.

Dating before settling yourself is a huge distraction and a waste of scarce resources needed to suceed in life.

If you date or marry without getting your shits together, the love will most likely fade away eventually and the lady may grow to resent you down the lane when suffering kicks in.

Also, you will be too burdened to work on yourself at that time as a result of responsibilities.

Also, when you date after getting your shits together, you are likely to have a good dating experience, more options, enough resources to commit and lots of other benefits.

I started dating at 23 and before that, I was 100% focused on myself, career and finances. I already had a solid plan for the future.

I was so distracted when I started dating that I would not have been able to accomplish anything had I dated before settling my career.

I was always thinking of my girlfriend, always on the phone with her, would visit after work and even got entangled with issues in her family.

Conclusion,

Settle your finances first before dating. If you have a sexual urge, masturbate by all means and go back to your goals.

In whatever you do, do not date or marry as a broke guy.

You asked why a broke guy wants to date. The answer to that question lies in this question: why would a broke girl want to date?
The answer you seek lies there.

Kingosytex:
You asked why a broke guy wants to date. The answer to that question lies in this question: why would a broke girl want to date?
The answer you seek lies there.

Our society is patriarchal.

Which means the man is looked on as the provider.

It has been like that for the past 100 years.

Even within your own family, the parents often look up to the male children for support.

Kingosytex:
You asked why a broke guy wants to date. The answer to that question lies in this question: why would a broke girl want to date?
The answer you seek lies there.

Girls are 'permitted" to be broke while dating, that even arouses some guys, na even broke girls dey get mouth pass but you see broke guys, equally broke girls will insult the living daylight out of them.😜😜😜😜

Firstly, surrender your life to Jesus Christ and
Secondly, go and hustle.

OBTOREPA:
Firstly, surrender your life to Jesus Christ and
Secondly, go and hustle.

Ok. Next

Skyview01:


Ok. Next

Make money

OBTOREPA:

Make money

So you cannot make money without giving your life to Christ!

Skyview01:


So you cannot make money without giving your life to Christ!

You need him sir to balance your life. Moreover, if you are born again you wouldn't be talking about dating / fornication. Is a very dangerous sin that has destroyed a lot of men. Some died silently while some instantly. Expecially, if you have great destiny and date with God. So beware!!!

OBTOREPA:

You need him sir to balance your life. Moreover, if you are born again you wouldn't be talking about dating / fornication. Is a very dangerous sin that has destroyed a lot of men. Some died silently while some instantly. Expecially, if you have great destiny and date with God. So beware!!!

Dont date ok. Bye

Personally, I can’t even date a broke man because I would just be cheating on him anyhow. I won’t deceive myself.

I’m just being truthful here.

Jennyclay:
Personally, I can’t even date a broke man because I would just be cheating on him anyhow. I won’t deceive myself.

I’m just being truthful here.

I appreciate your being truthful.

I believe the guy use use all available resources to focus on himself before considering dating.

Broke people are humans too. However, broke men will only get bottom of the barrel women.

Poor men will always be around, they just have to have common sense and marry a woman they can afford to cater for and have kids they can cater for. We can't all be rich.

zed7:
Broke people are humans too. However, broke men will only get bottom of the barrel women.

Poor men will always be around, they just have to have common sense and marry a woman they can afford to cater for and have kids they can cater for. We can't all be rich.

I totally agree with you.

I don't think a broke man should date. He will definitely experience heartbreak or get dump at the long run

Jennyclay:
Personally, I can’t even date a broke man because I would just be cheating on him anyhow. I won’t deceive myself.

I’m just being truthful here.

Rather, you are cheating yourself not him because it is your body you are sharing up and down!

Skyview01:


Our society is patriarchal.

Which means the man is looked on as the provider.

It has been like that for the past 100 years.

Even within your own family, the parents often look up to the male children for support.

if they are fighting for equal rights,a broke lady shud not be permitted to date also.personally nothing concern me with broke girls

Lol dating has nothing to do with money.

A broke guy should never think of dating likewise a broke man also should not think of getting married because pregnancy may happen in the course of dating, how do you now cater for the pregnancy and baby when it is born? So stay off dating.

Aaaaarghmed:
if they are fighting for equal rights,a broke lady shud not be permitted to date also.personally nothing concern me with broke girls

Most women are not fighting for equal rights.

Skyview01:


Most women are not fighting for equal rights.

na you know o,OP.i don talk my own.Nothing concern me with a broke girl

Aaaaarghmed:
na you know o,OP.i don talk my own.Nothing concern me with a broke girl

Some broke girls might have other qualities.

But a broke guy, he go be like say the guy don kill person.

That is the difference.

As a matter of facts, ladies can't be broke since the guy is the provider. The concept of "being broke" does not apply to a lady with the dating context.

So, if you price am, you go pay. Heheheh!

Skyview01:


Some broke girls might have other qualities.

But a broke guy, he go be like say the guy don kill person.

That is the difference.

As a matter of facts, ladies can't be broke since the guy is the provider. The concept of "being broke" does not apply to a lady with the dating context.

So, if you price am, you go pay. Heheheh!

you are a simp obviously.So a broke guy cant have other qualities.u think it's only money that determines a guy attributes.Abeg stop typing

Aaaaarghmed:
you are a simp obviously.So a broke guy cant have other qualities.u think it's only money that determines a guy attributes.Abeg stop typing

Ok.

tensazangetsu20:
Lol dating has nothing to do with money.

What are you driving at Tensa?

Aaaaarghmed:
you are a simp obviously.So a broke guy cant have other qualities.u think it's only money that determines a guy attributes.Abeg stop typing

Na normal naija guy mentality na.

Their self-esteem is tied to their pockets.

Good thing is that there is an abundance of women to show them pepper.

Raalsalghul:


Na normal naija guy mentality na.

Their self-esteem is tied to their pockets.

Good thing is that there is an abundance of women to show them pepper.

They are the ones making dating difficult especially for younger guys out there..

While you are trying to build something with a babe, someone else would just credit her a huge sum to make her hair.

I have seen broke men married and having loyal wives but one ugly mofo thinks he can't have a relationship because he has no money.

Let them continue.

Raalsalghul:


What are you driving at Tensa?

You don't need money to date. It's only in Nigeria that people need money to date and have a happy relationship and na Nigerian men cause am. I am just glad I am not part of the degeneracy anymore. As they have laid their beds, so they will lie on it. Bloody simps

Karleb:


They are the ones making dating difficult especially for younger guys out there..

While you are trying to build something with a babe, someone else would just credit her a huge sum to make her hair.

I have seen broke men married and having loyal wives but one ugly mofo thinks he can't have a relationship because he has no money.

Let them continue.

He is broke that he can't provide shelter, food and other necessity for his family? Let's assume he's so broke that he can't provide all that. How on earth do you know his wife is loyal? He told you that, just a general assumption or perception towards her?

UnfairLife7:
He is broke that he can't provide shelter, food and other necessity for his family? Let's assume he's so broke that he can't provide all that. How on earth do you know his wife is loyal? He told you that, just a general assumption or perception towards her?

Money does not buy loyalty from a woman.

Being broke does not mean without any money. A broke guy can rent a room in a town in Osun state, live within his means.

tensazangetsu20:


You don't need money to date. It's only in Nigeria that people need money to date and have a happy relationship and na Nigerian men cause am. I am just glad I am not part of the degeneracy anymore. As they have laid their beds, so they will lie on it. Bloody simps

The one wey dey amaze me na those paying monthly salary to their wives and girlfriends.

I mean, where is there shame?

Karleb:


The one wey dey amaze me na those paying monthly salary to their wives and girlfriends.

I mean, where is there shame?

i don't understand you bro

You mean one shouldn't invest in his wife? Who then should Men invest on should incase death came knocking?

That monthly allowance is little compare to other investments Men made on behalf of their wife and kids. I personally do not see any crime in spending on a girlfriend provided you can afford it. Money is meant to be spend not only on your loved ones but also the needy around. The last time i checked, you will have a girlfriend before wife and kids, all of them are your love ones including your nuclear family.