7 Complimentary ways to apologize to your spouse.
In addition to the 7 steps we mentioned earlier, use one of the following ways to go the extra mile with your apology.

⇒ Give your spouse a hug after sincerely admitting you are sorry.

Hand-holding and physical touch also helps you to reconnect.

Again be mindful of how your spouse feels. If they don’t want to be touched, give them their space, and respect them. Don’t force it.

⇒ Buy your spouse their favorite flowers (or if your wife is pregnant a pregnancy gift.)

AND remember to add a heartfelt note explaining your “I’m sorry” to it. This will help if your spouse’s love language is gift-giving.

⇒ Help your husband or wife with the house chores like washing the dishes when your favorite show is on.

Even better, do his/her share of the house chores. Again, this will help if your spouse’s love language is acts of service.

⇒ Say you are sorry and mean it.

Observe how your spouse feels. Give them some space if they ask for it.

⇒ Cook their favorite meal, and surprise them with it at mealtime.

⇒ Show your spouse you respect and appreciate him/her.

⇒ Pull your spouse aside and have the tough conversations.

Sit down when you are both calm and open to the conversation, so you can get to the root of what happened.

5 Things you should NOT do when apologizing.
a. Never use the word “but”.

For example, I am sorry for doing X but it was really not my fault.

Using words such as this, denounce ownership of whatever was done.

b. Don’t use excuses.

Pretty much trying to give wrong reasons for what you did. Don’t blame other people, alcohol, places, things, timing, etc.

You are an adult and an equal member of your marriage. Take personal responsibility for your actions, or inactions.

c. Don’t just say sorry for saying’s sake.

Sorry is not a magic word that undoes the harm after it is said.

Be sincere and make sure your future actions back up your words.

d. Never dismiss your spouse’s feelings whether it is about your actions or not.

Yes, we each must take responsibility for our emotions, but all feelings deserve respect as they are navigated through.

e. Don’t demand anything in return.

Apologizing is admitting you did or didn’t do something that has ultimately caused a negative impact on your spouse.

More importantly, it’s not the time for you to be demanding something in return, that could also be a form of manipulation.

3 Simple templates you can use to say sorry
Use the 2 templates below as your conversation starter.

Template 1:

I’m sorry for (say or express what you did) and how that made you feel. I was wrong, and will (say what you will do to make things better).

Template 2:

I’m sorry for (say or express what you did), and I take full responsibility. Next time, I will (say what you will do to make things better).

Template 3:

I am sorry I ((say or express what you did). Please forgive me. I will (say what you will do to make things better).

Apology resources to check out
To learn more about becoming better with your apologies, we highly recommend reading this apology book:

Why Won’t You Apologize?: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts by Dr. Harriet Lerner.

This book goes deeper into changing your mindset about apologies, how to give a heartfelt one, and so much more.

Click here to get your copy.
Alternatively:
You can watch Dr. Lerner’s 13-minute TedTalk video about apologies below.


Would you become a “weaker” spouse for saying sorry?
Being wrong, feeling embarrassed, admitting you are wrong and apologizing doesn’t mean you are a weak spouse.

Being “weak” is a stereotypical BS term for emotional intelligence.

Saying you are sorry means:

You are mature enough to admit your own mistakes, apologize for them wholeheartedly, and committing to not making the same mistakes again.

As such, the best thing you can do is to learn how to say sorry to your spouse in a sincere way. And then commit to not repeating the same mistake(s) again.

Sometimes, your spouse might not be ready to forgive you right away. Be patient.

Because depending on the situation and the severity of your wrongdoings, your spouse might still be disappointed, frustrated, or angry and it might take time.

Final thoughts
As you just read, saying sorry is a sincere and genuine way of apologizing and working to become a better wife or husband.

So the next time you want to apologize to your spouse, just follow the 7 steps and everything we have shared with you today.

Show me one person dat divorce dat is happy

Wen u have a problem with ur hubby or wife u have two choice remember dat u love or u make hatred live in ur heart

jaksmillioniar:
Cococandy is not small fight or problem u got with a hubby or wife u rush to divorce

Lolz. Na wetin Cococandy do you to pick on her so violently

Wujio:



Lolz. Na wetin Cococandy do you to pick on her so violently

I Neva hate coco i see her as a friend even if we fight a lot.she mean a lot to me my problem with her is d way she react against men and advise she give against marriage and relationship

jaksmillioniar:
I Neva hate coco i see her as a friend even if we fight a lot.she mean a lot to me my problem with her is d way she react against men and advise she give against marriage and relationship

The more you see.....

Cococandy is one of the happily married ladies on here...her response to posts are not always bias...she states the truth at all the time..unlike the others.

She's not just a responsible wife and mother but a professional health practitioner which earns her more respect on here.

Kindly subtract her name from the list.

Newborn27:


The more you see.....

Cococandy is one of the happily married ladies on here...her response to posts are not always bias...she states the truth at all the time..unlike the others.

She's not just a responsible wife and mother but a professional health practitioner which earns her more respect on here.

Kindly subtract her name from the list.

I respect coco a lot she know dat. Even if I senior her a lot with over 6 years but as she marry b4 me born b4 me I give her dat respect. But dat dont mean she will do or say wrong and I will keep quiet my problem with coco is she keep supporting wrong keep attacking me and try to bring rubbish oyibo life in nairaland.why support gay. U are abroad but want girls to think wit oyibo brain wen it will cause dem pain as naija is diffrent.If a man make a mistake she begin to insult me dey talk dat der is noting wrong with divorce.u got bro and sis as u are growing up u fight somtimes did u now disowned them? why say a woman divorce her hubby if he do bad to her wit little mistake. Did she know dat most children dat Thier parent divorce are in pain so why support dat. I try to make her see dat as men do evil so are women too. Is a hippocrates dat will be crying in any blog were a man cheat or beat his wife but when a woman cheat too or kill her hubby coco wont talk but will be silent.if I attack her she will start insults.

Stop engaging him, seems you're new to him.we re always his pick as references.

Newborn27:


The more you see.....

Cococandy is one of the happily married ladies on here...her response to posts are not always bias...she states the truth at all the time..unlike the others.

She's not just a responsible wife and mother but a professional health practitioner which earns her more respect on here.

Kindly subtract her name from the list.

ahnie:
Stop engaging him, seems you're new to him.we re always his pick as references.

am sorry I Neva knew why I mention u I think who want to learn will learn when last u see me fight anybody or insult anybody I think am too matured for dat.i will only advise pple on thier relationship I do dat in real life too I know how many pple have help. Is not by force if u want to refused to learn about life. Happy weekend

jaksmillioniar:

I respect coco a lot she know dat. Even if I senior her a lot with over 6 years but as she marry b4 me born b4 me I give her dat respect. But dat dont mean she will do or say wrong and I will keep quiet my problem with coco is she keep supporting wrong keep attacking me and try to bring rubbish oyibo life in nairaland.why support gay. U are abroad but want girls to think wit oyibo brain wen it will cause dem pain as naija is diffrent.If a man make a mistake she begin to insult me dey talk dat der is noting wrong with divorce.u got bro and sis as u are growing up u fight somtimes did u now disowned them? why say a woman divorce her hubby if he do bad to her wit little mistake. Did she know dat most children dat Thier parent divorce are in pain so why support dat. I try to make her see dat as men do evil so are women too. Is a hippocrates dat will be crying in any blog were a man cheat or beat his wife but when a woman cheat too or kill her hubby coco wont talk but will be silent.if I attack her she will start insults.

I'm still very sure that she's a good person...I've known her for close to a decade on here.


You people should settle whatever disputes amidst amicably as an adult and stop calling yourselves out on here....... thanks