Why Do People At Work Always Assume A Lady Who Sets Boundaries Is Not Humble - Career (2)

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Why Do People At Work Always Assume A Lady Who Sets Boundaries Is Not Humble - Career (2) - Nairaland

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Re: Why Do People At Work Always Assume A Lady Who Sets Boundaries Is Not Humble by tctrills: 1:44pm On Oct 27, 2023

elonmuskbaby:
Good morning nairaland ladies and gentlemen.i will go straight to the point.why do people always assume that every lady who sets boundaries and does everything possible to avoid insults, disrespectful snide comments, shades,minds her buisness and keeps her friends minimal but sticks to her job,why are such ladies seen as arrogant, proud, someone people should not move close to. some people Will even assume they know you so much as to give you unsolicited advice you didn't ask for, deliberately incite or bring drama or provocation directly to your doorstep to see how you will react and when you show your displeasure you're automatically labelled rude.

So my question is,is it that you shouldn't have boundaries at work,allow people to come to your office and gist endlessly and not have time to face what you are paid for, allow senior colleagues to Bully or intimidate you before you're considered accommodating, friendly and calm?

You can set boundaries without being proud but once you make yourself unapproachable then such a person is definitely proud and stupid. I would not knowingly employ a staff that can't properly relate with the team.

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Re: Why Do People At Work Always Assume A Lady Who Sets Boundaries Is Not Humble by hairyman(m): 1:48pm On Oct 27, 2023

Setting boundaries is quite fine. Nobody sees anyone who sets healthy boundaries as arrogant or proud.

If you are arrogant and proud, you will come across to many people as such. Therefore if people see you as possessing those qualities, then it is likely that you do.

Conduct yourself professionally, don't be rude in the name of setting boundaries, interact with your coworkers properly and you will probably be fine.

Having said that, one must recognize that there are people who are a pain in the ass to work with. They think that the work place is an extension of a friend's club where they can joke around and make serious people snap now and then.

That's a different ball game. And these people are not going to be "everybody". They may see you as arrogant and proud because they cannot comprehend, or pretend to not comprehend, boundaries.

But if a lot of your coworkers share their perspective of you, then examine your behavioral pattern.

elonmuskbaby:
Good morning nairaland ladies and gentlemen.i will go straight to the point.why do people always assume that every lady who sets boundaries and does everything possible to avoid insults, disrespectful snide comments, shades,minds her buisness and keeps her friends minimal but sticks to her job,why are such ladies seen as arrogant, proud, someone people should not move close to. some people Will even assume they know you so much as to give you unsolicited advice you didn't ask for, deliberately incite or bring drama or provocation directly to your doorstep to see how you will react and when you show your displeasure you're automatically labelled rude.

So my question is,is it that you shouldn't have boundaries at work,allow people to come to your office and gist endlessly and not have time to face what you are paid for, allow senior colleagues to Bully or intimidate you before you're considered accommodating, friendly and calm?

2 Likes

Re: Why Do People At Work Always Assume A Lady Who Sets Boundaries Is Not Humble by ifinger: 1:56pm On Oct 27, 2023

DMerciful:
In a workplace, you're expected to have a healthy working relationship and be approachable however depending on how you relate from day one, people will treat you based on your personality.

You cannot be jovial sometimes and be overly serious at other times. It's confusing.

If you're unnecessarily serious all the time, you should work from home!

A work place is not a play ground if you want to play go find some recreation for yourself more so no worker owe u play time just so Ur job and go home

3 Likes

Re: Why Do People At Work Always Assume A Lady Who Sets Boundaries Is Not Humble by xjiggy: 1:57pm On Oct 27, 2023

elonmuskbaby:
Good morning nairaland ladies and gentlemen.i will go straight to the point.why do people always assume that every lady who sets boundaries and does everything possible to avoid insults, disrespectful snide comments, shades,minds her buisness and keeps her friends minimal but sticks to her job,why are such ladies seen as arrogant, proud, someone people should not move close to. some people Will even assume they know you so much as to give you unsolicited advice you didn't ask for, deliberately incite or bring drama or provocation directly to your doorstep to see how you will react and when you show your displeasure you're automatically labelled rude.

So my question is,is it that you shouldn't have boundaries at work,allow people to come to your office and gist endlessly and not have time to face what you are paid for, allow senior colleagues to Bully or intimidate you before you're considered accommodating, friendly and calm?

Because they are actually arrogantand proud. This is just a classic case of Misconstruing bad character as setting boundaries.

1 Like

Re: Why Do People At Work Always Assume A Lady Who Sets Boundaries Is Not Humble by CutSoap(m): 2:01pm On Oct 27, 2023

Powerbando:

deal with your problems young lady

That was so uncalled for

Re: Why Do People At Work Always Assume A Lady Who Sets Boundaries Is Not Humble by dealslip(f): 2:01pm On Oct 27, 2023

elonmuskbaby:
I only asked a question OGA,I didn't tell you I had any problem.it will have been ok to Waka pass.nobody forced you to comment.thank you young man

You don't need to respond to some comments or response. There are many low self esteemed misogynist lunatics online whose only means of deriving joy is to provoke others with senseless comments.
Back to your question. There are quite a number of reasons why people expect you to remove your boundaries. One chiefly is to be able to manipulate you without consequence. People who expect you to abandon your principles to please them are people to be avoided at all cost no matter who they are. That's why bible calls manipulation the sin of witchcraft. They are energy vampires who derive fulfilment by dominating others. Once a person starts blackmailing you into dropping your boundaries, you must stand up to them and tell them you know who they are and reiterate that they must never attempt to cross your boundaries again. You have to be deliberate with them.

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Re: Why Do People At Work Always Assume A Lady Who Sets Boundaries Is Not Humble by CutSoap(m): 2:05pm On Oct 27, 2023

Assumptions about humility and boundaries at work can be influenced by stereotypes and biases. Some people may mistakenly associate setting boundaries with assertiveness, which can be misinterpreted as lacking humility. It's important to challenge these stereotypes and communicate the value of setting healthy boundaries, which can lead to better work-life balance and increased productivity. Remember that humility and assertiveness are not mutually exclusive, and it's possible to be both humble and assertive in a professional context.

Re: Why Do People At Work Always Assume A Lady Who Sets Boundaries Is Not Humble by qtx(m): 2:10pm On Oct 27, 2023

elonmuskbaby:
Good morning nairaland ladies and gentlemen.i will go straight to the point.why do people always assume that every lady who sets boundaries and does everything possible to avoid insults, disrespectful snide comments, shades,minds her buisness and keeps her friends minimal but sticks to her job,why are such ladies seen as arrogant, proud, someone people should not move close to. some people Will even assume they know you so much as to give you unsolicited advice you didn't ask for, deliberately incite or bring drama or provocation directly to your doorstep to see how you will react and when you show your displeasure you're automatically labelled rude.

So my question is,is it that you shouldn't have boundaries at work,allow people to come to your office and gist endlessly and not have time to face what you are paid for, allow senior colleagues to Bully or intimidate you before you're considered accommodating, friendly and calm?

You can take the above posture and not appear to be rude, honestly. It depends on how you go about doing all that.
There is a form of politeness you assume; even your oga go de respect you. That said, there is always another side to any story. We have heard yours, and we wish we could hear from your accusers too.

1 Like

Re: Why Do People At Work Always Assume A Lady Who Sets Boundaries Is Not Humble by IbileIfe: 2:17pm On Oct 27, 2023

Nigerian women don't have boundaries in sex.

You see a senior executive in a big company sleeping with her driver, security guard or houseboy and coming to the office to be posing, posturing and pretending to her male colleagues.

Re: Why Do People At Work Always Assume A Lady Who Sets Boundaries Is Not Humble by Emeka71(m): 2:20pm On Oct 27, 2023

Powerbando:

deal with your problems young lady

So right.

Re: Why Do People At Work Always Assume A Lady Who Sets Boundaries Is Not Humble by Emeka71(m): 2:21pm On Oct 27, 2023

IbileIfe:
Nigerian women don't have boundaries in sex.

You see a senior executive in a big company sleeping with her driver, security guard or houseboy and coming to the office to be posing, posturing and pretending to her male colleagues.

So right.

Re: Why Do People At Work Always Assume A Lady Who Sets Boundaries Is Not Humble by tosyne2much(m): 2:21pm On Oct 27, 2023

You can't work in an organization where it's the culture of workers to maintain a healthy and friendly relationship and only you isolate yourself under the guise of setting boundaries

You're going to have problems.. In fact, you no fit tey for that kind organization cheesy

No matter what boundary you're talking about, wisdom is profitable to direct

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Re: Why Do People At Work Always Assume A Lady Who Sets Boundaries Is Not Humble by Nobody: 2:37pm On Oct 27, 2023

People hate what they don't understand, when people can't figure you out it keeps them on the edge. I have been told severally to my face by other ladies that they don't like me because they don't know me. One even said she can't be my friend because I'm too quiet and quiet people are evil and pretentious then I laughed. That only made it worse because she wasn't expecting my reaction, she expected me to get angry and defensive but the thing is why should I? Like I didn't want to be her friend either 🤔. I don't get close to insensitive and uncultured people, even if you have contrary opinion be diplomatic about it. Why would I expend my energy to get angry and react over a statement from someone I will gladly avoid I just want a quiet and simple life, if it is too much for you abeg carry your friendship dey go

When you can't be read or predicted people will react. When you try to be different and focus on your task people will label you, some will call you eye service, overdo . Just focus on yourself, be peaceful with everyone but maintain your standard because the truth is they will always come back for that value you offer that they don't.

I think men relate with quiet people better . At least these ones call me calm and responsible. They don't attack me head on

4 Likes

Re: Why Do People At Work Always Assume A Lady Who Sets Boundaries Is Not Humble by Tzar(m): 2:41pm On Oct 27, 2023

Setting boundaries and being outrightly rude are two different things.
Ladies dress seductively and expect men not to shoot shot in the belief that she is advertising herself to be approached. When they get approached, they insult the man and claim they are setting boundaries.
Dress decently and reduce those who will make passes to a minimum. But their hunger for attention will not allow them.

elonmuskbaby:
Good morning nairaland ladies and gentlemen.i will go straight to the point.why do people always assume that every lady who sets boundaries and does everything possible to avoid insults, disrespectful snide comments, shades,minds her buisness and keeps her friends minimal but sticks to her job,why are such ladies seen as arrogant, proud, someone people should not move close to. some people Will even assume they know you so much as to give you unsolicited advice you didn't ask for, deliberately incite or bring drama or provocation directly to your doorstep to see how you will react and when you show your displeasure you're automatically labelled rude.

So my question is,is it that you shouldn't have boundaries at work,allow people to come to your office and gist endlessly and not have time to face what you are paid for, allow senior colleagues to Bully or intimidate you before you're considered accommodating, friendly and calm?

1 Like

Re: Why Do People At Work Always Assume A Lady Who Sets Boundaries Is Not Humble by Karo1212: 2:46pm On Oct 27, 2023

These is a very serious issues in work place as of today....For a brief review you all should linkup with me on my twitter podcast
these evening by 7pm @Incredible_karo

Re: Why Do People At Work Always Assume A Lady Who Sets Boundaries Is Not Humble by NoToPile: 2:53pm On Oct 27, 2023

Lool, it's typical in Nigerian workspace, you mind your business say good morning and hello when necessary, they say you don't relate with people and you are proud.

If you are not on my team or in my unit, I honestly don't have much to discuss with you except hello and hi EOD.

I relate better with those in my unit, every other person, good morning good morning, except an official issue comes up that affects them.

Thats how they told my collegue that I don't relate with people I just dey go my own, is that supposed to be an issue? I just see you as someone that works in the same organization and I say hi is that not enough, I should be gisting and doing Chochocho up and down?
We get issue for this country honestly.

As a rule good morning and hello it is for everyone not in my immediate team. They don't like it they should go to court.

Radarada.

2 Likes

Re: Why Do People At Work Always Assume A Lady Who Sets Boundaries Is Not Humble by Kobojunkie: 3:06pm On Oct 27, 2023

elonmuskbaby:
■ Good morning nairaland ladies and gentlemen.i will go straight to the point.why do people always assume that every lady who sets boundaries and does everything possible to avoid insults, disrespectful snide comments, shades,minds her buisness and keeps her friends minimal but sticks to her job,why are such ladies seen as arrogant, proud, someone people should not move close to. some people Will even assume they know you so much as to give you unsolicited advice you didn't ask for, deliberately incite or bring drama or provocation directly to your doorstep to see how you will react and when you show your displeasure you're automatically labelled rude.
■ So my question is,is it that you shouldn't have boundaries at work,allow people to come to your office and gist endlessly and not have time to face what you are paid for, allow senior colleagues to Bully or intimidate you before you're considered accommodating, friendly and calm?

1. You care too much what people think, I am afraid. All this points to you needing to disconnect yourself even more from what others who are, according to you, ignorant, say or think of your person. undecided

2. Focus on you, please. Stop worrying about what people think. Do what you know is right to do and leave them to their judgments and their prejudices.

2 Likes

Re: Why Do People At Work Always Assume A Lady Who Sets Boundaries Is Not Humble by Klass99(f): 3:51pm On Oct 27, 2023

Re: Why Do People At Work Always Assume A Lady Who Sets Boundaries Is Not Humble by dealslip(f): 4:01pm On Oct 27, 2023

Klass99:

You cracked me up with the text in bold. I know from my spiritual authority classes that rebellion is like the sin of witchcraft because it first began with Satan when he thought to start a mutiny against his creator, for the sake of being worshipped like his creator. I don't know about manipulation but if it's in scripture please point it out to me.

You are absolutely correct in your quote of rebellion is as sins of witchcraft.This was the interaction of Samuel and Saul. However in Galatians 5:19-20. The works of the flesh has witchcraft as one of it. Witchcraft is used interchangeably with manipulation in many bible versions hence, witchcraft is as the sin of manipulation.
Thanks

1 Like

Re: Why Do People At Work Always Assume A Lady Who Sets Boundaries Is Not Humble by Klass99(f): 4:10pm On Oct 27, 2023

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Re: Why Do People At Work Always Assume A Lady Who Sets Boundaries Is Not Humble by sheeda995(f): 4:14pm On Oct 27, 2023

K33fK0zaRt:
I like people like you. If we had them in large numbers, the world would have been a better place

We have them in Large. Just not in Africa

Re: Why Do People At Work Always Assume A Lady Who Sets Boundaries Is Not Humble by sheeda995(f): 4:14pm On Oct 27, 2023

Klass99:

Interesting question, your original post sort of resonates with me. Because just this week at work I hit back at one staff member in a managerial position who has been asking for it. I practically raised my voice at her and told her not to try me again or talk me to me any how. Twice she behaved in a rude and disrespectful way that I ignored and overlooked, she now did it again this week.

I was proud of me for standing up for myself like that and doing it early on too. Because now she knows better not to mess with me or overstep her boundaries again. I am sick and tired of playing nice with catty and saucy women in the workplace who have an attitude for no good reason.

What type of job do you do?

Re: Why Do People At Work Always Assume A Lady Who Sets Boundaries Is Not Humble by IkeAbuja: 4:15pm On Oct 27, 2023

elonmuskbaby:
Good morning nairaland ladies and gentlemen.i will go straight to the point.why do people always assume that every lady who sets boundaries and does everything possible to avoid insults, disrespectful snide comments, shades,minds her buisness and keeps her friends minimal but sticks to her job,why are such ladies seen as arrogant, proud, someone people should not move close to. some people Will even assume they know you so much as to give you unsolicited advice you didn't ask for, deliberately incite or bring drama or provocation directly to your doorstep to see how you will react and when you show your displeasure you're automatically labelled rude.

So my question is,is it that you shouldn't have boundaries at work,allow people to come to your office and gist endlessly and not have time to face what you are paid for, allow senior colleagues to Bully or intimidate you before you're considered accommodating, friendly and calm?

madam boundaries i hope you bound reach your boss too

Re: Why Do People At Work Always Assume A Lady Who Sets Boundaries Is Not Humble by Klass99(f): 4:23pm On Oct 27, 2023

Re: Why Do People At Work Always Assume A Lady Who Sets Boundaries Is Not Humble by blazepascal(m): 4:51pm On Oct 27, 2023

elonmuskbaby:
Good morning nairaland ladies and gentlemen.i will go straight to the point.why do people always assume that every lady who sets boundaries and does everything possible to avoid insults, disrespectful snide comments, shades,minds her buisness and keeps her friends minimal but sticks to her job,why are such ladies seen as arrogant, proud, someone people should not move close to. some people Will even assume they know you so much as to give you unsolicited advice you didn't ask for, deliberately incite or bring drama or provocation directly to your doorstep to see how you will react and when you show your displeasure you're automatically labelled rude.

So my question is,is it that you shouldn't have boundaries at work,allow people to come to your office and gist endlessly and not have time to face what you are paid for, allow senior colleagues to Bully or intimidate you before you're considered accommodating, friendly and calm?

i think you are the problem

Re: Why Do People At Work Always Assume A Lady Who Sets Boundaries Is Not Humble by Advertisershubs(f): 5:39pm On Oct 27, 2023

Setting Boundaries is very much different from being rude.

Anyone should be able to spot the differences.

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Re: Why Do People At Work Always Assume A Lady Who Sets Boundaries Is Not Humble by phemmyfour: 5:54pm On Oct 27, 2023

elonmuskbaby:
Good morning nairaland ladies and gentlemen.i will go straight to the point.why do people always assume that every lady who sets boundaries and does everything possible to avoid insults, disrespectful snide comments, shades,minds her buisness and keeps her friends minimal but sticks to her job,why are such ladies seen as arrogant, proud, someone people should not move close to. some people Will even assume they know you so much as to⁷ give you unsolicited advice you didn't ask for, deliberately incite or bring drama or provocation directly to your doorstep to see how you will react and when you show your displeasure you're automatically labelled rude.

So my question is,is it that you shouldn't have boundaries at work,allow people to come to your office and gist endlessly and not have time to face what you are paid for, allow senior colleagues to Bully or intimidate you before you're considered accommodating, friendly and calm?

When they are rude to others, they called it "setting boundaries ". Change your ways

Re: Why Do People At Work Always Assume A Lady Who Sets Boundaries Is Not Humble by YourGFsnatcher: 6:34pm On Oct 27, 2023

elonmuskbaby:
Good morning nairaland ladies and gentlemen.i will go straight to the point.why do people always assume that every lady who sets boundaries and does everything possible to avoid insults, disrespectful snide comments, shades,minds her buisness and keeps her friends minimal but sticks to her job,why are such ladies seen as arrogant, proud, someone people should not move close to. some people Will even assume they know you so much as to give you unsolicited advice you didn't ask for, deliberately incite or bring drama or provocation directly to your doorstep to see how you will react and when you show your displeasure you're automatically labelled rude.

So my question is,is it that you shouldn't have boundaries at work,allow people to come to your office and gist endlessly and not have time to face what you are paid for, allow senior colleagues to Bully or intimidate you before you're considered accommodating, friendly and calm?

Don't mind them. Your future family will be very proud of you. If you are married already, your family are already proud of you

1 Like

Re: Why Do People At Work Always Assume A Lady Who Sets Boundaries Is Not Humble by Iamzik: 7:08pm On Oct 27, 2023

elonmuskbaby:
Good morning nairaland ladies and gentlemen.i will go straight to the point.why do people always assume that every lady who sets boundaries and does everything possible to avoid insults, disrespectful snide comments, shades,minds her buisness and keeps her friends minimal but sticks to her job,why are such ladies seen as arrogant, proud, someone people should not move close to. some people Will even assume they know you so much as to give you unsolicited advice you didn't ask for, deliberately incite or bring drama or provocation directly to your doorstep to see how you will react and when you show your displeasure you're automatically labelled rude.

So my question is,is it that you shouldn't have boundaries at work,allow people to come to your office and gist endlessly and not have time to face what you are paid for, allow senior colleagues to Bully or intimidate you before you're considered accommodating, friendly and calm?

Even the tone of this post get as e be.
Hanty your stay in that company is too short to be overly serious all the time.

Loosen up, be friendly, respect people and they will respect you. None of this will stop you from delivering on the job.

Re: Why Do People At Work Always Assume A Lady Who Sets Boundaries Is Not Humble by Nokio2: 7:31pm On Oct 27, 2023

We dey suffer the same suffering for marketing dept u dey set boundary...

Go submit CV for boundary commission make we RES's..

Re: Why Do People At Work Always Assume A Lady Who Sets Boundaries Is Not Humble by loswhite(m): 7:45pm On Oct 27, 2023

elonmuskbaby:
thanks my brother

Lol just dey play make them dey deceive you. This same ppl go tell other ladies say i like a lady that is free and friendly. If you like carry another man work like bag of rice for head e concern you. The fact that people talk or joke to ease stress doesn't mean they don't take their work seriously. How can you be serious with work from 8 to 5? Even the owner of your company is not that serious...lol. Try dey calm down .

2 Likes

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