| Re: See What I observed After The Death Of My Father by Obinnakalu77(m): 9:01pm On Oct 25, 2023 |
Lolz... NFBI:
I hope you won't take his alcohol gulping footstep |
| Re: See What I observed After The Death Of My Father by ipobarecriminals: 9:01pm On Oct 25, 2023 |
 whether u are useless/good,Rich/Poor,The day u bid this world farewell, and people troops in to greet u/rat burial jollof đ ,nah dat day they'll cease coming to the family house till another remembrance Anniversary |
| Re: See What I observed After The Death Of My Father by Obinnakalu77(m): 9:01pm On Oct 25, 2023 |
|
| Re: See What I observed After The Death Of My Father by wolebest: 9:02pm On Oct 25, 2023 |
Tonero5200:
No matter how useless a man is, once he dies the household of the family strength changes. It might not be financially rather emotionally and physically.
Here are my reasons
My dad is a man who drinks alot to the extend we the children are embarrassed for him because we can't go to functions he goes to... because as he goes, he comes back in a different way.
So we do everything possible to avoid where he is at, but on some occasions we cant..depends on how close the celebrant is. Then we bore it in mind that that day we might get to hear something that offends us.. the shame and embarrassment and might retaliate or ignore.
Being one of the senior men alive, they always come to pay homage everytime despite being the way he is..to settle dispute and to also pray for them.. and also tell them about history how we related and mention names of our forefathers, tracing back their Roots step by step..he knows all..because his father also told him. so they respect him for that as an elderly man even though dry gin is his best friend. all they can do was to talk and laugh behind his back. When he's sober they dare not make jest of him.
I repeat they dare not.
But now he's been dead about 4years ago and I tell you we that normally get the first invitation of marriage ceremony or any functions happening in the extended family no longer gets invited.
Nobody has come in to ask hwfar from us the children since he was buried. They see us as not important since the elderly man is no more.
Our family house that used to trooped in by different new faces almost every week don't see it no more
I am not talking about money here, I am good... But even if I don't have...my elder brother who is a graduate the back bone is there...but I am just stating the obvious fact...
THAT everybody has use no matter how useless you perceive them to be and one day you might get to realise that.
The thing is that during those period we don't even take it as anything. Instead we the children gets angry whenever they comes to inform him for a function because we know that week we will not sleep at night...but as it has its advantages so those it has it disadvantages. Ol boy, your old man is gone forever and he is not coming back. You better face your future and keep dearly the history your Dad passed to you while he was alive. Another elder is in town, mark my words, your own time will come as an elder. But for now ......face your future, contribute your own quota to family and community bonding. 1 Like |
| Re: See What I observed After The Death Of My Father by Advancedman(m): 9:02pm On Oct 25, 2023 |
Tonero5200:
Holding the family in terms of what?
My elder bro has been the one fending for us since 2009
He trained me to the stage I am now, while my father was just looking, drinking.
But hey if you say my father was still the one holding the family I agree but you have to be specific, because from your post it seems financially but it's not.
The point I am trying to make here is different.
Everyone is useful you might not know now, but when they are gone. You get to realise that This reply is stupid. You said it yourself you now know his worth or you are just an hypocrite only interested in being invited to functions as that it what you emphasis the most here. While someone quote you I support of the value and virtue you now felt after his demise you are here asking stupid question in so doing you insulted someone who appreciates you point. This confirmed your immaturity. 1 Like |
| Re: See What I observed After The Death Of My Father by joyandfaith: 9:02pm On Oct 25, 2023 |
Tonero5200:
No matter how useless a man is, once he dies the household of the family strength changes. It might not be financially rather emotionally and physically.
Here are my reasons
My dad is a man who drinks alot to the extend we the children are embarrassed for him because we can't go to functions he goes to... because as he goes, he comes back in a different way.
So we do everything possible to avoid where he is at, but on some occasions we cant..depends on how close the celebrant is. Then we bore it in mind that that day we might get to hear something that offends us.. the shame and embarrassment and might retaliate or ignore.
Being one of the senior men alive, they always come to pay homage everytime despite being the way he is..to settle dispute and to also pray for them.. and also tell them about history how we related and mention names of our forefathers, tracing back their Roots step by step..he knows all..because his father also told him. so they respect him for that as an elderly man even though dry gin is his best friend. all they can do was to talk and laugh behind his back. When he's sober they dare not make jest of him.
I repeat they dare not.
But now he's been dead about 4years ago and I tell you we that normally get the first invitation of marriage ceremony or any functions happening in the extended family no longer gets invited.
Nobody has come in to ask hwfar from us the children since he was buried. They see us as not important since the elderly man is no more.
Our family house that used to trooped in by different new faces almost every week don't see it no more
I am not talking about money here, I am good... But even if I don't have...my elder brother who is a graduate the back bone is there...but I am just stating the obvious fact...
THAT everybody has use no matter how useless you perceive them to be and one day you might get to realise that.
The thing is that during those period we don't even take it as anything. Instead we the children gets angry whenever they comes to inform him for a function because we know that week we will not sleep at night...but as it has its advantages so those it has it disadvantages. Bale ile ku gbogbo ile di ahoro. Please make money to gain respect. |
| Re: See What I observed After The Death Of My Father by Kobicove(m): 9:03pm On Oct 25, 2023 |
You don't know the value of something until you loose it  |
| Re: See What I observed After The Death Of My Father by Obinnakalu77(m): 9:04pm On Oct 25, 2023 |
Very true! Obakoolex:
I took my time to read your post and all your response.....bro you're little bit damaged already you just don't know it yet.
Is either you have anger issue or you're not a very happy person.
Forget all this your talk about being financially stable, bro you're not!
You kept talking about it and that shows it's not rossy as you paint....
I'll advise you to leave your father's house ASAP and work on yourself so your children in future will love you even though you didn't love your dad. Safe 1 Like |
| Re: See What I observed After The Death Of My Father by onojaford(m): 9:05pm On Oct 25, 2023 |
Obakoolex:
I took my time to read your post and all your response.....bro you're little bit damaged already you just don't know it yet.
Is either you have anger issue or you're not a very happy person.
Forget all this your talk about being financially stable, bro you're not!
You kept talking about it and that shows it's not rossy as you paint....
I'll advise you to leave your father's house ASAP and work on yourself so your children in future will love you even though you didn't love your dad. Safe Eleyi gidi gan! As deep as tap root. 1 Like |
| Re: See What I observed After The Death Of My Father by Exceed15: 9:05pm On Oct 25, 2023 |
Even rag has its own usefulness. |
| Re: See What I observed After The Death Of My Father by okpukpu(m): 9:06pm On Oct 25, 2023 |
You are now regretting not loving your dad the way you should... Now you know he wasn't useless afterall. You should have go closer to him and gain wisdom.
Forgive yourself and move on |
| Re: See What I observed After The Death Of My Father by Tonero5200: 9:08pm On Oct 25, 2023 |
Advancedman:
This reply is stupid.
You said it yourself you now know his worth or you are just an hypocrite only interested in being invited to functions as that it what you emphasis the most here.
While someone quote you I support of the value and virtue you now felt after his demise you are here asking stupid question in so doing you insulted someone who appreciates you point.
This confirmed your immaturity. no man, you are the one being stupid here and immature. He made a point but wasn't specific enough and I tried to get him to expatiate more so I could understand where he was coming from. Where is the insult there? Yes I didn't see my father value and worth until is passing which I admit in my post and I came here to tell others so that they can cherish what they have now and not have the mindset that I had back then. Your just a frustrated fellow and everyone knows you here on naira land looking for quarrel up and down and no we don't even miss the invite or functions ceremonies... parties that we hardly go to?. What we miss is the relevance from different people but it's okay. I made my point. 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: See What I observed After The Death Of My Father by kkins25(m): 9:08pm On Oct 25, 2023 |
Tonero5200:
You can only say this when you don't have a close family member as an alcoholic.
So definitely you have no ideal.
I wonder if you will still say African tends to see drug addicts as a problem... because to me alcoholism is even worst than a drug addict. Leave amđ.. He don't know! My Dad was one too.. It intensified whenever they were marital issues, and boy-oh-boy!!! I was the guy with a hardened heart, so everybody go go sleep leave me to face the abuse. 1 Like |
| Re: See What I observed After The Death Of My Father by guyboss: 9:09pm On Oct 25, 2023 |
Tonero5200:
You don't need to argue. Just admit you didn't read the post very well and understand the message I was trying to pass.
We are not suffering okay?
I am doing well for myself same with my older siblings. I cant help but wonder the kind of people that frequents this platform. They can brazenly display incredulous amount of brain activity. Tonero5200, he did read. Its just his choice of display that caught me unawares. |
| Re: See What I observed After The Death Of My Father by Kachidubem: 9:09pm On Oct 25, 2023 |
Tonero5200:
No matter how useless a man is, once he dies the household of the family strength changes. It might not be financially r
I am not talking about money here, I am good... But even if I don't have...my elder brother who is a graduate the back bone is there...but I am just stating the obvious fact...
THAT everybody has use no matter how useless you perceive them to be and one day you might get to realise that. @ the bolded, really made me laugh... the way you said the 'graduate' tin.  |
| Re: See What I observed After The Death Of My Father by dododawa1: 9:11pm On Oct 25, 2023 |
What a MAN can do
A woman can do better
Sorry for offpoint |
| Re: See What I observed After The Death Of My Father by kkins25(m): 9:11pm On Oct 25, 2023 |
Britishcoins:
Chai, this is exactly my own story... Unfortunately I later lost my Dad due to alchohol, till date I hate alcohol... And I know my dad was the best in the world if not for alcohol... Now he has made me premature elder by force, I am the first son and I carry the family in my little shoulder hmmmmm..deep and relatable to some extent. |
|
| Re: See What I observed After The Death Of My Father by Kachidubem: 9:16pm On Oct 25, 2023 |
Samantha124:
Maybe if you guys were married, your relatives were still going to give you the same respect they were giving to your father because there's this respect that Africans tend to have for married couples even when they're younger.
My paternal grandparents were one of the royal leaders in the village... Even though they're not from any royal family, their friendship with the royal family was too deep and they were inseparable, when my grandfather passed away, my father was asked to come and take over the position... At first he wasn't sure about it because he doesn't live in the village anymore even though it's just a few hours drive, but he eventually accepted and he let them know that he wouldn't always be available, they understood.
When my grandmother passed away, my mom was also asked to come and take over, she'd travel to the village every now and then... And we still get invitations from our close and distant relatives, but I doubt my father was going to be treated with the same respect if he was not married.
Because even elders who are not married are not taken seriously by anyone... My uncle used to be disrespected all the time by other men before he got married to a point that he even stopped attending family events... But immediately he got married, people everywhere started to respect him.
Shut up your mouth, married or single , if you have money and well to do ,you will be respected in this part of the world, even your village king or eshi will give you your maximum respect. Being married doesn't have anything to do with respect, I've seen married men who family members don't care about coz he's not doing well, he is always the last to get invited for any family function 1 Like |
| Re: See What I observed After The Death Of My Father by ipobarecriminals: 9:18pm On Oct 25, 2023 |
u are mourning and still fighting..Better follow obakoolex b4 u enter streets dey fight everybody . Hope u don chop sha ? Nah qwesion i ask oo Tonero5200:
no man, you are the one being stupid here and immature.
He made a point but wasn't specific enough and I tried to get him to expatiate more so I could understand where he was coming from. Where is the insult there?
Yes I didn't see my father value and worth until is passing which I admit in my post and I came here to tell others so that they can cherish what they have now and not have the mindset that I had back then.
Your just a frustrated fellow and everyone knows you here on naira land looking for quarrel up and down and no we don't even miss the invite or functions ceremonies... parties that we hardly go to?. What we miss is the relevance from different people but it's okay. I made my point.
1 Like |
| Re: See What I observed After The Death Of My Father by Jeezuzpick(m): 9:19pm On Oct 25, 2023 |
Tonero5200:
No matter how useless a man is, once he dies the household of the family strength changes. It might not be financially rather emotionally and physically.
Here are my reasons
My dad is a man who drinks alot to the extend we the children are embarrassed for him because we can't go to functions he goes to... because as he goes, he comes back in a different way.
So we do everything possible to avoid where he is at, but on some occasions we cant..depends on how close the celebrant is. Then we bore it in mind that that day we might get to hear something that offends us.. the shame and embarrassment and might retaliate or ignore.
Being one of the senior men alive, they always come to pay homage everytime despite being the way he is..to settle dispute and to also pray for them.. and also tell them about history how we related and mention names of our forefathers, tracing back their Roots step by step..he knows all..because his father also told him. so they respect him for that as an elderly man even though dry gin is his best friend. all they can do was to talk and laugh behind his back. When he's sober they dare not make jest of him.
I repeat they dare not.
But now he's been dead about 4years ago and I tell you we that normally get the first invitation of marriage ceremony or any functions happening in the extended family no longer gets invited.
Nobody has come in to ask hwfar from us the children since he was buried. They see us as not important since the elderly man is no more.
Our family house that used to trooped in by different new faces almost every week don't see it no more
I am not talking about money here, I am good... But even if I don't have...my elder brother who is a graduate the back bone is there...but I am just stating the obvious fact...
THAT everybody has use no matter how useless you perceive them to be and one day you might get to realise that.
The thing is that during those period we don't even take it as anything. Instead we the children gets angry whenever they comes to inform him for a function because we know that week we will not sleep at night...but as it has its advantages so those it has it disadvantages. Your Dad, God rest his soul, was not fond of ardent spirits all his life. Those who flocked around him knew him long before you matured enough to form an opinion, and I can assure you that your Dad did them a lot of good turns in the past. They saw a different part of Papa that you didn't see. At my Dad's burial, I heard people pay homage, including a former Member of the House of Reps, how he helped them when they were down, how he encouraged them.... My brother, it wasn't until my Dad was gone that I knew he was a bigger, better man than even I thought, and believe me, I held him in high esteem. To me he was just ''Daddy", but to a lot of people, he was a great man. 2 Likes |
| Re: See What I observed After The Death Of My Father by maasoap(m): 9:20pm On Oct 25, 2023 |
Tonero5200:
.
The thing is that during those period we don't even take it as anything. Instead we the children gets angry whenever they comes to inform him for a function because we know that week we will not sleep at night...but as it has its advantages so those it has it disadvantages. Trust me, I know the feeling. My dad was like that too, though didn't drink alcoholic drinks when alive. But was highly respected, not because he was rich but was blessed with wisdom to settle quarrels among many people. 1 Like |
| Re: See What I observed After The Death Of My Father by Nobody: 9:21pm On Oct 25, 2023 |
Then why do you have to sound so aggressive towards me as if I did something wrong to you? Why can't you just give the op your own advice without telling me to shut up? Have I offended you? Kachidubem:
Shut up your mouth, married or single , if you have money and well to do ,you will be respected in this part of the world, even your village king or eshi will give you your maximum respect.
Being married doesn't have anything to do with respect, I've seen married men who family members don't care about coz he's not doing well, he is always the last to get invited for any family function 3 Likes |
| Re: See What I observed After The Death Of My Father by Olichoke: 9:22pm On Oct 25, 2023 |
Tonero5200:
No matter how useless a man is, once he dies the household of the family strength changes. It might not be financially rather emotionally and physically.
Here are my reasons
My dad is a man who drinks alot to the extend we the children are embarrassed for him because we can't go to functions he goes to... because as he goes, he comes back in a different way.
So we do everything possible to avoid where he is at, but on some occasions we cant..depends on how close the celebrant is. Then we bore it in mind that that day we might get to hear something that offends us.. the shame and embarrassment and might retaliate or ignore.
Being one of the senior men alive, they always come to pay homage everytime despite being the way he is..to settle dispute and to also pray for them.. and also tell them about history how we related and mention names of our forefathers, tracing back their Roots step by step..he knows all..because his father also told him. so they respect him for that as an elderly man even though dry gin is his best friend. all they can do was to talk and laugh behind his back. When he's sober they dare not make jest of him.
I repeat they dare not.
But now he's been dead about 4years ago and I tell you we that normally get the first invitation of marriage ceremony or any functions happening in the extended family no longer gets invited.
Nobody has come in to ask hwfar from us the children since he was buried. They see us as not important since the elderly man is no more.
Our family house that used to trooped in by different new faces almost every week don't see it no more
I am not talking about money here, I am good... But even if I don't have...my elder brother who is a graduate the back bone is there...but I am just stating the obvious fact...
THAT everybody has use no matter how useless you perceive them to be and one day you might get to realise that.
The thing is that during those period we don't even take it as anything. Instead we the children gets angry whenever they comes to inform him for a function because we know that week we will not sleep at night...but as it has its advantages so those it has it disadvantages. My story is almost the same with yours. I lost my Dad in August this year and I have never been the same since then. At times I cry seeing or hearing the voices of his friends. But when he was life we termed him irresponsible because of his lifestyle - women and alcoholic consumption etc 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: See What I observed After The Death Of My Father by sonofsteven: 9:24pm On Oct 25, 2023 |
Cruise777:
Africans tend to see alcoholics as a problem
However there are highly functional Alcoholics in the society
There are people who drink regularly and still function properly and there are people who drink and constituite nuisance
. The way people come online to brazenly talk shit about their parents is worrisome |
| Re: See What I observed After The Death Of My Father by phemmyfour: 9:25pm On Oct 25, 2023 |
Cruise777:
Africans tend to see alcoholics as a problem
However there are highly functional Alcoholics in the society
There are people who drink regularly and still function properly and there are people who drink and constituite nuisance
. Very few of them, infact some of them are not giving optimal performance. You can't be drunk and make good judgement behind the steering. The slogan "Don't drink and drive" or "Don't drink while working on machines" isn't a cliché |
| Re: See What I observed After The Death Of My Father by maxiuc(m): 9:25pm On Oct 25, 2023 |
Same thing is happening to us close to One Year my lovely dad died
Keep resting in peace Ben-Bela, how I wish I could emulate your lifestyles |
| Re: See What I observed After The Death Of My Father by djon78(m): 9:29pm On Oct 25, 2023 |
Tonero5200:
No matter how useless a man is, once he dies the household of the family strength changes. It might not be financially rather emotionally and physically.
Here are my reasons
My dad is a man who drinks alot to the extend we the children are embarrassed for him because we can't go to functions he goes to... because as he goes, he comes back in a different way.
So we do everything possible to avoid where he is at, but on some occasions we cant..depends on how close the celebrant is. Then we bore it in mind that that day we might get to hear something that offends us.. the shame and embarrassment and might retaliate or ignore.
Being one of the senior men alive, they always come to pay homage everytime despite being the way he is..to settle dispute and to also pray for them.. and also tell them about history how we related and mention names of our forefathers, tracing back their Roots step by step..he knows all..because his father also told him. so they respect him for that as an elderly man even though dry gin is his best friend. all they can do was to talk and laugh behind his back. When he's sober they dare not make jest of him.
I repeat they dare not.
But now he's been dead about 4years ago and I tell you we that normally get the first invitation of marriage ceremony or any functions happening in the extended family no longer gets invited.
Nobody has come in to ask hwfar from us the children since he was buried. They see us as not important since the elderly man is no more.
Our family house that used to trooped in by different new faces almost every week don't see it no more
I am not talking about money here, I am good... But even if I don't have...my elder brother who is a graduate the back bone is there...but I am just stating the obvious fact...
THAT everybody has use no matter how useless you perceive them to be and one day you might get to realise that.
The thing is that during those period we don't even take it as anything. Instead we the children gets angry whenever they comes to inform him for a function because we know that week we will not sleep at night...but as it has its advantages so those it has it disadvantages. Before nko The man was the backbone of the family Despite his weaknesses You guys never realized that And you guys should have learnt so much from him My Dad is still alive And very well respected In my community I know the day he is gone Many people will show there true color Even uncles But I and my siblings no send them We are already developing ourselves In the secret to becoming reputable Men Even more than our father And he is advicing and teaching us how to go about things And we are learning his footsteps Fathers are great Not to be taken lightly |
| Re: See What I observed After The Death Of My Father by abbey621(m): 9:30pm On Oct 25, 2023 |
1 Like |
| Re: See What I observed After The Death Of My Father by Clinghton: 9:38pm On Oct 25, 2023 |
Who has taken from your late dad the historic tales he normally uses to keep people around him? |
| Re: See What I observed After The Death Of My Father by Uchemus(m): 9:40pm On Oct 25, 2023 |
Tonero5200:
Now go back and read my initial post and see if you find that bolded word there.
Kids like you who hardly understand post, just to rush and comments irritates me so much Dude is just damn irritating. |
| Re: See What I observed After The Death Of My Father by VULCAN(m): 9:41pm On Oct 25, 2023 |
You have made so much sense with post. frozen70:
What you should understand is that information is power
Any one that has knowledge of certain information is a powerful person, even if he is just an ordinary man
People will still go to such person for information especially when it involves traditional setting
So now that he is gone, no need for such recognitions and loyalty again because the source has gone with him
Its nothing to blame anyone for |
