Appreciate and love your family, especially your parents whatever may be their faults. They have a purpose they are fulfilling in your life. I lost my mum this year and the devastation hasn't left me even though she was aged. We have limited time to spend in this world and you don't know when you will see or speak with them for the last time.

Cruise777:


It's a forum for general discussion not your private social media and I can bet any amount you can't even stand in my presence to call me a kid

Moderation is a vague word, your moderation isn't my moderation

While I was in the Middle East everyone smoked and we took smoking break at work

In Nigeria smoking is so frowned upon
.

Moderation is not vague, you simple lack understanding. All youv been saying doesn't make sense, and you keep shooting yourself in the foot. Everyone's moderation is different, bottom line is everyone should drink to their moderation.

No comment.

Bintabisiriyu2:

Then why did you write all that sheet up there?

Tonero5200:
No matter how useless a man is, once he dies the household of the family strength changes. It might not be financially rather emotionally and physically.

Here are my reasons

My dad is a man who drinks alot to the extend we the children are embarrassed for him because we can't go to functions he goes to... because as he goes, he comes back in a different way.

So we do everything possible to avoid where he is at, but on some occasions we cant..depends on how close the celebrant is. Then we bore it in mind that that day we might get to hear something that offends us.. the shame and embarrassment and might retaliate or ignore.


Being one of the senior men alive, they always come to pay homage everytime despite being the way he is..to settle dispute and to also pray for them.. and also tell them about history how we related and mention names of our forefathers, tracing back their Roots step by step..he knows all..because his father also told him. so they respect him for that as an elderly man even though dry gin is his best friend. all they can do was to talk and laugh behind his back. When he's sober they dare not make jest of him.
I repeat they dare not.


But now he's been dead about 4years ago and I tell you we that normally get the first invitation of marriage ceremony or any functions happening in the extended family no longer gets invited.

Nobody has come in to ask hwfar from us the children since he was buried. They see us as not important since the elderly man is no more.

Our family house that used to trooped in by different new faces almost every week don't see it no more


I am not talking about money here, I am good... But even if I don't have...my elder brother who is a graduate the back bone is there...but I am just stating the obvious fact...

THAT everybody has use no matter how useless you perceive them to be and one day you might get to realise that.


The thing is that during those period we don't even take it as anything. Instead we the children gets angry whenever they comes to inform him for a function because we know that week we will not sleep at night...but as it has its advantages so those it has it disadvantages.

may his soul rest in peace, there are people like that, they don't have anything but they're important to people than president. People don't joke with them.

Men are the strength

This post partially attract to me...


Like the Yorubas saying

Pikin wey him mother lazy for being poor, and say him mama useless because them, make him no worry. Shebi you self still dey alive..

I miss my father so much

VULCAN:
You have made so much sense with post.

Thanks dear

I had a similar experience too after my Dad's passing. My Dad loves women and married many wives . We were always fighting him and hated this side of him . But this man was a very wealthy and generous human being. He will deep his hand into his pocket to give people money without counting it sometimes . So our house was a Mecca of sought back in the days. He was a real community leader. Not until he passed away that we begin to really appreciate the many good qualities in him. Since his death I have never heard any of the children speaking ill of him contrary to what we used to do in his life times.

The level of violence on dis forum..ehn
U brought a post about ur family on d frontburner
What did u expect
Peeps will comment
Den u turn around insulting and acting out

Cruise777:



Africans tend to see alcoholics as a problem

However there are highly functional Alcoholics in the society

There are people who drink regularly and still function properly and there are people who drink and constituite nuisance
.

I disagree with this ur statement, even the white see it as a problem, especially if it is consumed to much

I just love the Vawulnce just bring on

Deeprooted:



Tears running down my cheeks

I lost my lovely Dad

may the Lord comfort you dear...hugs...

Deeprooted:



Tears running down my cheeks

I lost my lovely Dad

may the Lord comfort you dear, it happened to me 26 yrs ago...hugs...

Cruise777:



Africans tend to see alcoholics as a problem

However there are highly functional Alcoholics in the society

There are people who drink regularly and still function properly and there are people who drink and constituite nuisance



.

just give one yeye guy like that in my area one babioki, him don finish be that. e will be out for the whole day if not for two days self. is everyday the nonsense guy use to say he will stop drinking but when he get himself back, he will take another drink again and miss work for the day and for twi days sometime because he is a ubar driver but he already settled the owner of the car which means the car now belongs to him

It would have been great, if he passed the knowledge to you guys.

When the people of a generation die, the closeness of family members reduces.

The children of your father need to be friends to some of your cousins.
Thats how you people can get information of what is going on in the family.

Cruise777:


An Average Russian is a regular alcoholic who is dependent on Vodka... Russia don't see that as a problem because they don't constituite nuisance after taking Vodka in moderation


Irish and Scottish Men on Average Consume more Beers, Stout, Whiskey daily even Americans

Try this is Nigeria and watch people start looking at you like sinner


.

Hmmmmmmm this person self

meditator:
Be sincere, would you like your children to be become drunkards ?

I’m sorry, but I feel you don’t understand what he’s saying.
Drunkards are similar to alcoholics but way different ask around.

[quote author=Tonero5200 post=126602656]
Holding the family in terms of what?


My elder bro has been the one fending for us since 2009

He trained me to the stage I am now, while my father was just looking, drinking.

But hey if you say my father was still the one holding the family I agree but you have to be specific, because from your post it seems financially but it's not.

The point I am trying to make here is different.

Everyone is useful you might not know now, but when they are gone. You get to realise that[/quot


The truth is that none of you welcome that little respect that was given to your family if there were any of you who always accompany him and was welcome those visitors they would still be coming till dates, they now feels none of you no the tradition so they can't come

Whichever way no man in his right sense is useless. they seek your father when he is sober but when drunk he is not only useless but also a reproach. If he is always drunk then he will always be useless and no one will seek him.

They seek him because he is elderly, lower your ego and seek join them to seek another elderly man in your family. The respect is not about your family but about him. Don't expect it to continue. He is gone.

Tonero5200:
No matter how useless a man is, once he dies the household of the family strength changes. It might not be financially rather emotionally and physically.

Here are my reasons

My dad is a man who drinks alot to the extend we the children are embarrassed for him because we can't go to functions he goes to... because as he goes, he comes back in a different way.

So we do everything possible to avoid where he is at, but on some occasions we cant..depends on how close the celebrant is. Then we bore it in mind that that day we might get to hear something that offends us.. the shame and embarrassment and might retaliate or ignore.


Being one of the senior men alive, they always come to pay homage everytime despite being the way he is..to settle dispute and to also pray for them.. and also tell them about history how we related and mention names of our forefathers, tracing back their Roots step by step..he knows all..because his father also told him. so they respect him for that as an elderly man even though dry gin is his best friend. all they can do was to talk and laugh behind his back. When he's sober they dare not make jest of him.
I repeat they dare not.


But now he's been dead about 4years ago and I tell you we that normally get the first invitation of marriage ceremony or any functions happening in the extended family no longer gets invited.

Nobody has come in to ask hwfar from us the children since he was buried. They see us as not important since the elderly man is no more.

Our family house that used to trooped in by different new faces almost every week don't see it no more


I am not talking about money here, I am good... But even if I don't have...my elder brother who is a graduate the back bone is there...but I am just stating the obvious fact...

THAT everybody has use no matter how useless you perceive them to be and one day you might get to realise that.


The thing is that during those period we don't even take it as anything. Instead we the children gets angry whenever they comes to inform him for a function because we know that week we will not sleep at night...but as it has its advantages so those it has it disadvantages.

Of course no one is completely useless

Really

Tonero5200:

You can only say this when you don't have a close family member as an alcoholic.
So definitely you have no ideal.

I wonder if you will still say African tends to see drug addicts as a problem... because to me alcoholism is even worst than a drug addict.

Alcoholism is a negative vice, just like cocaine addiction, womanizing, gambling., etc. It makes the closest relative feel bad and embarrassed, but the truth is that every human has a weakness, only those who cannot put theirs in any form of check, or who do not have 3nough resources, constitute nuisance, albeit for a short period of time.

Many in these categories can still be productive like the other guy said, though they may not be during their messy periods. The musicians you look up to if you are a young Nigerian, most of them are drug addicts. Many past qnd present Nigerian governors are cocain addicts, Many are constituting nuisance in some ways to their immediate family, but since they are able to quench their urge anytime, and because their are PEPs, the society overlooks their addiction.

To know that Your father was not born an alcoholic, and alcohol does not permanently erase his memory makes him valuable to many while he was alive. I think we should learn from others' experiences. Some people are looking up to you and hoping you live up to their standards and not 'embarass' them with your lifestyle, the choice is yours. Your father indeed had his value, you only saw his weakness , and that is understandable.

Tonero5200:
No matter how useless a man is, once he dies the household of the family strength changes. It might not be financially rather emotionally and physically.

Here are my reasons

My dad is a man who drinks alot to the extend we the children are embarrassed for him because we can't go to functions he goes to... because as he goes, he comes back in a different way.

So we do everything possible to avoid where he is at, but on some occasions we cant..depends on how close the celebrant is. Then we bore it in mind that that day we might get to hear something that offends us.. the shame and embarrassment and might retaliate or ignore.


Being one of the senior men alive, they always come to pay homage everytime despite being the way he is..to settle dispute and to also pray for them.. and also tell them about history how we related and mention names of our forefathers, tracing back their Roots step by step..he knows all..because his father also told him. so they respect him for that as an elderly man even though dry gin is his best friend. all they can do was to talk and laugh behind his back. When he's sober they dare not make jest of him.
I repeat they dare not.


But now he's been dead about 4years ago and I tell you we that normally get the first invitation of marriage ceremony or any functions happening in the extended family no longer gets invited.

Nobody has come in to ask hwfar from us the children since he was buried. They see us as not important since the elderly man is no more.

Our family house that used to trooped in by different new faces almost every week don't see it no more


I am not talking about money here, I am good... But even if I don't have...my elder brother who is a graduate the back bone is there...but I am just stating the obvious fact...

THAT everybody has use no matter how useless you perceive them to be and one day you might get to realise that.


The thing is that during those period we don't even take it as anything. Instead we the children gets angry whenever they comes to inform him for a function because we know that week we will not sleep at night...but as it has its advantages so those it has it disadvantages.

He must have paid his dues to society in his younger days

People only come around because of what they can get from you, and that the only people who love you genuinely are your immediate family. Additionally, people move on quickly, so it's important to take advantage of the situation when you are in a position to provide value because people will eventually move on when they no longer have a need for you.

Bro just stat focus and be serious with your self.
Soon the world will celebrate you once you ate attaining peak.
Remember no one want to associate with Inferior people.
God will see you through

Tonero5200:
No matter how useless a man is, once he dies the household of the family strength changes. It might not be financially rather emotionally and physically.

Here are my reasons

My dad is a man who drinks alot to the extend we the children are embarrassed for him because we can't go to functions he goes to... because as he goes, he comes back in a different way.

So we do everything possible to avoid where he is at, but on some occasions we cant..depends on how close the celebrant is. Then we bore it in mind that that day we might get to hear something that offends us.. the shame and embarrassment and might retaliate or ignore.


Being one of the senior men alive, they always come to pay homage everytime despite being the way he is..to settle dispute and to also pray for them.. and also tell them about history how we related and mention names of our forefathers, tracing back their Roots step by step..he knows all..because his father also told him. so they respect him for that as an elderly man even though dry gin is his best friend. all they can do was to talk and laugh behind his back. When he's sober they dare not make jest of him.
I repeat they dare not.


But now he's been dead about 4years ago and I tell you we that normally get the first invitation of marriage ceremony or any functions happening in the extended family no longer gets invited.

Nobody has come in to ask hwfar from us the children since he was buried. They see us as not important since the elderly man is no more.

Our family house that used to trooped in by different new faces almost every week don't see it no more


I am not talking about money here, I am good... But even if I don't have...my elder brother who is a graduate the back bone is there...but I am just stating the obvious fact...

THAT everybody has use no matter how useless you perceive them to be and one day you might get to realise that.


The thing is that during those period we don't even take it as anything. Instead we the children gets angry whenever they comes to inform him for a function because we know that week we will not sleep at night...but as it has its advantages so those it has it disadvantages.

I didn't finish the reading before this comment, if you are from the south east, your extended family ignoring you guys is cos you guys don't have money, the respect of your father that had a point for your family is gone, therefore you guys have no communal vqlue hence no respect.

I might be wrong.

Cruise777:


An Average Russian is a regular alcoholic who is dependent on Vodka... Russia don't see that as a problem because they don't constituite nuisance after taking Vodka in moderation


Irish and Scottish Men on Average Consume more Beers, Stout, Whiskey daily even Americans

Try this is Nigeria and watch people start looking at you like sinner


.

Consuming alcohol is different from being an alcoholic.

Tonero5200:

You can only say this when you don't have a close family member as an alcoholic.
So definitely you have no ideal.

I wonder if you will still say African tends to see drug addicts as a problem... because to me alcoholism is even worst than a drug addict.

Alcohol is a drug.

And you think you are the only one suffering this. It was your father they respected not you. My own parents died about ten years ago. We suffered the same fate. You the children must face front and earn your respect. When you succeed, trust me the children of those scorning you will re-establish contact. Otherwise let them go away. It saves you energy, time and money. So don't expect the family to serve your father and yourselves. Earn.the respect. Thank God, cost of transport is high and there is social media platforms now, so it saves visitstions

Tonero5200:


Now go back and read my initial post and see if you find that bolded word there.

Kids like you who hardly understand post, just to rush and comments irritates me so much

Ha! You put up a post, I'm sure you were expecting responses from your readers. Why respond in such harsh manner to that guy? Calling him a 'kid' for that comment sounds insulting. Why so emotional? Or you drank something? At the end of it all, you were the one who actually acted childish for calling him a child over that comment.

Samantha124:
Maybe if you guys were married, your relatives were still going to give you the same respect they were giving to your father because there's this respect that Africans tend to have for married couples even when they're younger.

My paternal grandparents were one of the royal leaders in the village... Even though they're not from any royal family, their friendship with the royal family was too deep and they were inseparable, when my grandfather passed away, my father was asked to come and take over the position... At first he wasn't sure about it because he doesn't live in the village anymore even though it's just a few hours drive, but he eventually accepted and he let them know that he wouldn't always be available, they understood.

When my grandmother passed away, my mom was also asked to come and take over, she'd travel to the village every now and then... And we still get invitations from our close and distant relatives, but I doubt my father was going to be treated with the same respect if he was not married.

Because even elders who are not married are not taken seriously by anyone... My uncle used to be disrespected all the time by other men before he got married to a point that he even stopped attending family events... But immediately he got married, people everywhere started to respect him.

Stop kissing loud for the last time.