lindabon:

I don't blame the parents, i blame the little child, who didn't know when it was high time for him to stop suckling on his mothers b.r.e.a.s.t !
How will he agree to his parents choosing a life partner for him?!


OP, how about divorce? Instead of running away like a sissy that you've always been. why not do the legal and right thing and get a proper divorce? That way, you can still see your son, and be a father figure while seeing to it that you pay for his "child support".

You've run away from your real lover, now you want to run away from you wife and and innocent child?
You keep running running running. Just man up for once and do things like a mature man. Grow some balls and do the right thing!

this is quite harsh!

if the op had disobeyed his parents to make a wrong choice, you people will be singing different tunes about why he disobeyed his parents.

OP,

I can introduce you to tpia

dayokanu:

OP,

I can introduce you to tpia

tpia is married to a white bloke, you sicko!

^^ She is also unhappy with the white dude

So makes two of them

//

the responses i am getting here are not just being helpful at all.i have already made up my mind anyway.I am going to divorce her but i will ready to pay any amount of money as her monthly or yearly allowance and of course i will cater for my son"s education and whatever would be the financial need.I am ready to follow my heart and the woman i love and i dont care if our family pastor reprimands me.Life is too short for me to deny my happiness.Ronkebp like i said i will be ready to be of any financial assistance to my wife and kid when i seperate myself from this marriage.

//

@ swallu,
what i understand from your post is that u live ur life to please pple.
one your parent and ur pastor.
now it seems that u dont care any more. please work on urself.

also, u need to be man enuf to face ur problems now run away from them.
just like CC said, u think the grass is greenner on the other side,
Oh, i pray that may you not live to regret ur decisions.

pls ur wife is not responsible for ur unhappiness u are the one that decides to be happy or not.or content if you want to be or not.

if only you will open your eyes to see that two wrongs do not make a right,
which in this case ur wanting to leave ur wife (divorce- which God frowns hates and marry another.

please MAN -UP

i v s dis movie smtym
let me tell u wat happened at d end of d movie
d man left his wife n told every person dat came 2 him dat he loves dis ex n all he feels 4 d wife s pity
well he wz gettin close 2 dis ex n she kips chasin him off n wen she decided 2 move back wit him he woke up n wanted his family back
morale of d story = u neva know wat u v until u toy wit it
u lived wit ur wife 4 ova 2yrs, slpt on same bed, ate in same plate, looked at er in pains, shared moments even u dont love er, n even more
pls think twice
CREAMISH said it
list out d things u dont lyk n den work it all out

Simply marry another wife, you will have both choice and non choice but make sure you marry Lepa because of your fatty fatty complains

After years of marriage and just one fone call from an ex made you realise u don't have any feelings for your wife no more?
I guess you should have figured that out Before the wedding, the kid and the wasted years
My advice for u is to sit ur a.ss down and find a way to make that marriage work

You are been manupulated by the devil to distroy your home. Only God can help you out of this. It could be a spiritual wife or the woman that left you and manupulating you spiritualy in order for you to leave your wife and come back to her. Be careful because the one you said you loved might be the one that will destroy you.

coogar:

tpia is married to a white bloke, you sicko!

she is??

The question I would like to ask this poster is what he has done to rescue the marriage? Men like to sit on their fat bottoms and expect the spark to come from the woman alone. she is getting fatter and fatter, what have you done about it? or are you not also getting fatter and fatter yourself?

Since you now have a child, your decision should not be made not without your child in mind. please and please consider this child when you are making your decision.

I think you should confront the issues in your marriage first before running to nairaland with your mouth diarrhoea.

@all,its like u have failed to understand swallu's stance.he said he has already made up his mind to devorce her and also take responsibilities of things to come
@swallu,i think all da advice everyone has given u is not of essence since u already have it in mind to devorce ur wife.It is either u r toying wit da house or u want to create cheap popularity in da house.I see no reason y shld come begging for advice wen i already knw dat i av taken a stand on dat particular issue.I am not married bt my ego said i shld tell u dat either kip ur wife n kid,respect for ur parents n get rewarded wit a better wife above or follow ur hrt n see where it dumps u.

@ OP

I feel your pain bro!! But truth be told, you don already Bleep up give her belle and she don drop pass one engine for your head. I would have adviced you divorce her but then again, kids are involved now so it aint that easy anymore.

SO here are the options avaliable to you;

1. COUNSELLING: Atimes it may just be that your wife is doing all that she can to please you (to the best of her knowledge and exposure) and it is not enough for you. I would suggest that you try counselling as your first choice before trying the rest.

2. DIVORCE:: If you are both in Nigeria, then this shouldnt be difficult, just go home, pack all her things, throw them outside and lock her out. After two days of crying, she'll get the message and leave you alone. BUT!! Dont forget about the kids! They would suffer the most in this and you dont wanna raise your kids in broken home. So this choice get as e be, but nonetheless is still a choice.

3. Marry a SECOND WIFE:: Now this is a better option compared to option one. All you have to do is go marry your ex, keep her in a different location and use her as your comfort wife and use the other one as your baby factory.

4. Merk your wife:: Before you do this, take out a life insurance policy on her so that you will have money to wed and enjoy with your other Nwababy!!

5. Cheat!!

.

@OP: Divorce is NOT an option. You better gather your heart to love the one with you.

If you married another person, expect WORSE scene. Since both of you are married,
you got to stay in it and make it work. What is affecting you is LUST. Because I don't
think this your wife was WRAPPED in a paper for you.

You must have at least 2 months together before wedding, so why the complain? 
Be a man and enjoy your home. After all, she is not bed-wetting!

MegaG:

If you don't have feelings for her, y did u sleep with her an get her pregnant in the first place? i bet u had some feelings for her d reason y u accepted to marry her. in this time and age, which civilized man would dump his ideal woman for a total stranger just becos his parents wants him to? i bet her attention has shifted to d baby, d reason y u feel d way you do. why not talk to her about it? as for your ex, i knw how it feels, pls make her understand that you're married now, delete every fantasy (i knw it's hard) and focus all your attention on your wife. trust me, d love will surely grow!

Great post!

Okija_juju:

@ OP

I feel your pain bro!! But truth be told, you don already Bleep up give her belle and she don drop pass one engine for your head. I would have adviced you divorce her but then again, kids are involved now so it aint that easy anymore.

SO here are the options avaliable to you;

1. COUNSELLING: Atimes it may just be that your wife is doing all that she can to please you (to the best of her knowledge and exposure) and it is not enough for you. I would suggest that you try counselling as your first choice before trying the rest.

2. DIVORCE:: If you are both in Nigeria, then this shouldnt be difficult, just go home, pack all her things, throw them outside and lock her out. After two days of crying, she'll get the message and leave you alone. BUT!! Dont forget about the kids! They would suffer the most in this and you dont wanna raise your kids in broken home. So this choice get as e be, but nonetheless is still a choice.

3. Marry a SECOND WIFE:: Now this is a better option compared to option one. All you have to do is go marry your ex, keep her in a different location and use her as your comfort wife and use the other one as your baby factory.

4. Merk your wife:: Before you do this, take out a life insurance policy on her so that you will have money to wed and enjoy with your other Nwababy!!

5. Cheat!!

If you take up a counsellings job, you would destroyed many people lives,  And end up in Jail 

there should be a fiction section on this site.

@poster, let's talk about your kid, a kid raised in a broken home will defnitely be an unhappy kid,were you raised like this? This kid is innocent, why are you punishing an innocent child because of your feeling towards your ex.? There is something call the curse of the innocent, the curse of the innocent will defnitely work against your decision for your ex. Remember, no marriage is perfect, marriage is a institution,where you will never graduate,you keep on learning everyday. Where you are heading to, may not be totally perfect. Please, consider your kid or baby, it is very important. Personally, it seems there is a spiritual force pulling you back to your ex. , you need to prayerfully disconnect yourself,before it is too late. God bless you. God2man.

What a slacker!!!

swallu:

the responses i am getting here are not just being helpful at all.i have already made up my mind anyway.I am going to divorce her but i will ready to pay any amount of money as her monthly or yearly allowance and of course i will cater for my son"s education and whatever would be the financial need.I am ready to follow my heart and the woman i love and i dont care if our family pastor reprimands me.Life is too short for me to deny my happiness.Ronkebp like i said i will be ready to be of any financial assistance to my wife and kid when i seperate myself from this marriage.

Ok Pally. Na the real solution be dis.

You complained that your wife is getting fatter and fatter by the day. Guy you need to stop her ASAP either by stabbing her with pins at intervals so she can lose some air or you take her near an electric cooker daily for about 20 minutes each day so some of her fat can melt. i kid tho.

Now lets get down to serious business. I accept the fact that you were kinda lured into getting married to a chic you dont have feelings for. You have every right to feel the way you do but don't think things would have been much better with your former girlfriend. This is because we all know that marriage is a very different ball game from dating/courtship. You might think your former ex is an angel now but a short while after your marriage, she MAY turn a monster and make life miserable for you. at least from your post, one can infer that your wife doesnt disrespect you, she's not violent, she's not confrontational. The only issue is that ther aint no chemisrtry.

My advice to you is, if you are going to divorce your wife, please take your time before you go into another marriage if you choose to. Look far beyond chemistry, sexual attraction and all that crap.

best of luck man.

Bros I think u ar d problem of dis marriage,so dont allow satan 2 use u 2 ruin dis marriage.I dont knw if u ar a Xtian,d bible commanded husbands 2 lv their wives.It's a command 4rm God.Ur parents wantd d best 4 u,so dont blame anybody.D friut of d womb is a reward,so lv ur wife & make ur marriage work.U dont hv any option.Pray,pray & pray 4 wisdom.

@poster learn how to love your wife, you claim you tried to create the feelings, no i don't take that, all you need is to allow it to come from within. You have forgotten, for better for worst? She even has a child for you, did your parents also pushed you to get her pregnant. It is believed that it is a person one loves that he/she has a child with. You will surely love her, just that you are shutting the door of your heart against loving her even when you say the opposite. If she is fat then you must take steps to make her what you want her to look like. Your ex should be made to realise you are now married, if she comes back to your life, sooner or later she will dissapoint you. She may think of what you did by not standing by her and you went to marry someone else then later divorcing her again (your wife), she might behave strange. Learn to love your wife and put away your fantasies with your ex. Be wise. Good luck.

LMAO--- heheheeh.

@OP:

lol @ she's getting fatter and fatter.

You shouldn't have married her! Obedient son gini? Are your parents around to feel your pain now? No. You have a kid with her? You complicated matters bro.

Anyways--you don enter am, but E never spoil. Hope still dey.

Happiness and Love can't be forced. That being said, you need to dig deep and find something you like about her; even if it's just one thing. Capitalize on that; build on that, and the love will grow eventually. There're happy days ahead. As for your Ex, get her out of the picture asap. You don't want to be a cheating husband.

In a mature and clever way, tell her to lose weight and start looking more attractive. You two should work on things. Spice it up! Go for counselling, if you have to.


@ women: Pls take care of yourselves for your respective husbands. The OP's wife doesn't know what "trouble" she's in now. She's busy eating all the "edibles". Oga!















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Creamish (f)
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Re: I Am Very Unhappy In My Marriage
« #13 on: Yesterday at 05:33:50 PM »




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Y dont u take a moment, get a pen and paper and itemise whatever u hate about the marriage/u'd luv to change or what u miss about your ex . . . . then discuss your points with your wife. Get her to understand the way u feel without being harsh. Dont blame your wife for your parent's decision . . .rather, make her understand that her weight gives u growing concern and help her work on it. She has a child for u . . . not all families can boast of their own child . .

Try and see the good in your marriage always. A positive attitude will help boost your happiness



Experience is the best teacher when it happens to someone else.
Kudos to u guyz, this is the right counsel for the poster, End of Discussion!
Remain blessed.

A bird in hand is worth two in d bush.A dog dat is destined 2 die do not hear d master's whistle.Who told u dat u will be happier divorcing her?There's a way dat seem right 2 a man but d end is , sorrow!

op then marry ur EX as 2nd wife

@Poster,u didnt follow ur heart n dats why u are feeling dis way, bt i must tell u dat d deed has bin done, and if its a christian Marriage founded on God, i will advise u to do thus,
Try thngs dat will Make u LOVE ur wife, Like taking her out,sharing Jokes, watching Movies etc, she is getting fat cuz she is truly enjoyn d marriage, u can Politely Take gyming sessions togeda to encourage her, buy slimming tea and all dat, dis culd help,
I will strongly recommend u watch dis movie called FIREPROOF, if u havnt watched it, look for it on the net or libraries, u must find it der,
Happy Marriage Bro,

either by consent or arranged, I believe a couple ought to take out time to relate very well before marriage and get comfortable in conversation and decision making jointly

now that you are married, you stay married, talk to your wife on what your idea of marital life should be and listen to her views to. Since you said she's obedient i believe she'd teachable also. You guys just need to build up your marriage jointly.

i believe u made a big mistkae by listening to ur parents. Anyways, the deed has been done, and its left  to u to redeem urself. From your post, i did not see where u castigated or said anything bad or negative about that wife  of urs, All the negativities came from your side. So, i believe its within you you should start looking for a solution. Try not contacting that ex  of urs for the time being till u ve fixed ur marital probs. i believe her weight issue stems from the fact that she senses your feeligs towards her and is feeling somehow depressed and down. lift her s[irit up with love, and tell her to lose weight which i believe she will in a jiffy. Marriage is hard work, mate.
You see, there is nothing  in this world like having a good wife, and from what i can see u got a good wife, This ex of urs is a home wrecker and what makes u thik she might not cheat on u i the nearest future?