There is no need cryin over spilt milk but this is a big eye opener for the un-married, for God's sake why would we listen to our parents on matter like this knowing that they wont feel so pleasant havin a daughter-in-law thats not from their tribe? Ok, let me ask- are your parents here now to carry your burden wit you?
Marriage is for the metally sound and mature mind, taking a decision and standing by it, my friend, try and be man enough be deal wit your situation, from what you said, that your wife is obedient, which means she can help you re-build your marriage,

i think you should make your marriage/home wat you want it to be, sit down, think, be objective and positive, then, try implement a dey tricks, , And you do it wit your wife, you guys should work togethere and yu'll be marveled to see her other qualities you've not seen before,
Be man enough to face it, deal wit it and smile happily ever after

The day u put your ex out of your mind is the day u will see the light at the end of the tunnel. You have to do that first and them focus completely on your wife. Forget about the child's feelings for now and think about your wife's. Like someone said, here she is , probably thinking about how to make her husband smile at her or even hug her randomly or just perform some type of kind gesture. But you are thinkin of leaving her behind and moving back to your ex. FOCUS FOCUS FOCUS on your marriage. Do something with her like take her out to that new restaurant in town or take her out to the beach at sunset =P . . . at least DO something WITH HER and don't just complain about what you don't like.


Make a list of the things you DO like about her and another one of the things you DON'T like about her. Now look at the list of things you don't like about her and think of the different ways you can change your perspective on each of these things or lovingly correct them. You should also evaluate the reasons behind your dislike for such things. Are you reasons rational?

Now take a look at each of the things on the list of things you like about her and find ways you can better appreciate her for these things.

Talk to her and hear her out! what makes u think u were her first love?

Don't give up!

i sympathise with you. Parent should leave decision on whom to marry to their children. Nothing stops them from given advice but the finally decision should lie with the Man or woman. God hates divorce and should not be contemplated. I believe you can discuss the issues as couples and involve God through Prayer. There is no perfect marriage or partner, Accept the fault in ur partner and work things out. it is well with your marriage IJN

OP, dont run away o. Wasn't there any form of courtship before you married? That was the time you were supposed to know wether to marry her or not, the mistake has been done already. All i will advice you to do is to try and make her the kind of woman you would want her to be, tell her to loose weight and get to be a friend I.e spend more time with her, if she understands what you want and how you want her to dress, behave and act etc, am sure she will be willing to work towards making her marriage a successs.

Cut off all ties from your ex, if she wants to know how married life is like, let her go and get married. The more you communicate with he r the stronger the temptation to continue/start an illicit affair with her. Do not succumb to this temptation. No marriage is without its ups and downs, you have to be ready to work at it to make it happy and successful, are you ready for a happy married life? Then tighten your seat belt and as I would always say commit it into God's hand tell Him all your worries and you will be surprised how it works out. All the best and congratulations in advanc e.

my cousin fell into the same trap.he believed so much in what ever his mother said and the mother eventually recommended a lady for him from one of their church member to marry.infact, failure of the wife to perform to his expectation made him to hate his mother for given him a bad wife the guy is regreting it today,as close i was to him i knew of lady a week to wedding and my question was how long have known this girl?he said her mother was a friend to his mother in the church and i said people pretence a lot in the church that is not the best he said i should leave him a lone.this remain his greatest mistake in life and put all the blame on his mother

Make yourself happy, buy BasketMouth Uncensored DVD plate and laugh your unhappiness away.

You have to be very careful and draw a line when it comes to parents and their wife advise.

Hear them out. if it is something superficial and dumb like "not the same tribe", then simply disqualify their general beef as it is based on nothing but prejudice. Your parents can only advise. They cannot rule your life to the point of controlling who YOU will spend the rest of your life with. That is for you to pick.

That you went on solely with that plan means you weren't as assertive as you should have.

You dont need to die before death cathes up with you there are several help books on relationships that you can read to rekindle love in the marriage bond. No woman or man enjoys a relationship forever except each of you decide to spark up your love life again when it starts tasting sour. Once you have a mindset to rejoice with the wife of your youth then you can make it as blissful as possible until death do you part.

Her growing fat is not her making but yours and nature so please dont nag because you saw it coming and you went ahead. If you dont need a fat woman, check the family history. Note, she was not a mistake but your attitude towards life commitment was and that feeling could be rectified.

All the best pal.

thank god say me sef na the disobedient pickin.na so one of my uncles be dey force me to marry one delta igbo girl with bow legs and pimples for face on the basis say the babe na very good christian sister.me na my oyibo girlfriend i go marry come rain come shine and wether dem disown me dat one no be my concern.swallu how i wish say u disobey ur parents u for no dey this position ooooo .

Many without courage like you have made similar mistakes and have been sentenced to life imprisonment without happiness in Marriage. but the deed has already been done, i would advice you stop painting a picture of your ex on your wife, that would be very unfair on your wife, remember your wife is not happy either.

As for her weight issue, what is the guarantee that your ex would not get over weight after marriage? its something you can help her with, encourage her to eat healthy, work out together if you can, marriage is not for babies, its hard work, start doing things together, remember you are now a father with responsibilities to your family, u have a son who is looking up t you, begin to see this as a challenge you can beat.

and if you decide to divorce her, its your choice, be very mature about it.

You would be fine

OP
Before you run away to your ex or stay with your wife for whom you have no "fellings", you should meet a doctor asap. Ask him ways to get your spine to stay in its place and how much you have suffered as a spineless man all your life. Explain to your doc how the spine disappeared when your parents asked you to break off with your ex, how it resurfaced when you mustered the courage to impregnate your wife inspite of not having any"fellings" for her, and how it has again disappeared when you are left to make a choice between a poor woman (who in all probablity left her career to take care of your child) and a vamp who waited for a child to come into the picture to call back and find out how the marriage is faring. [i]As if she has some antidote if there is a problem[/i]Mschewwwwwwww 
  On second thought, I think you should go back to your ex. A spinelss man would make a good husband to a home breaker.

Roland17:

Many without courage like you have made similar mistakes and have been sentenced to life imprisonment without happiness in Marriage. but the deed has already been done, i would advice you stop painting a picture of your ex on your wife, that would be very unfair on your wife, remember your wife is not happy either.

As for her weight issue, what is the guarantee that your ex would not get over weight after marriage? its something you can help her with, encourage her to eat healthy, work out together if you can, marriage is not for babies, its hard work, start doing things together, remember you are now a father with responsibilities to your family, u have a son who is looking up t you, begin to see this as a challenge you can beat.

and if you decide to divorce her, its your choice, be very mature about it.

You would be fine

The wife unhappy?
as long as there is money and comfort a nigerian lady would always be happy in a marriage relationship wether she loves the man or not.I can guess the OP must be from a wealthy family so how can the wife be unahppy?

lefulefu:

The wife unhappy?
as long as there is money and comfort a nigerian lady would always be happy in a marriage relationship wether she loves the man or not.I can guess the OP must be from a wealthy family so how can the wife be unahppy?

hahahhahaha!!! Wonderful, is that so!!!,
Well, talking from several experiences, I can boldly say, I disagree with u. Yeah, u may be right, but not all Nigerian ladies wld put up with a man because of his wealth. Never, there are more important things to prioritize.
U shld meet wealthy ladies or not-so-wealthy ladies that hv married poor men n are still happily married.
The point is there are exceptions. And I mean exceptions I have seen.

There is nothing worse than living wit a stranger ι̊Ω marriage.
Its unfortunate u̶̲̅ married for the wrong reason, there is no communication ι̊Ω dat marriage,
That is one thing that is killing Ūя̲̅ marriage.
U̶̲̅ need to open open a good communication line wit Ūя̲̅ wife first,
Share everything and u̶̲̅ will see hw each of u̶̲̅ will begin to pick interest
Aπϑ even know what each one likes. Start from dat first, then ι̊Ω 3months time, ℓ̊ will let u̶̲̅ know
The next line of action.
All τђё best OP

Obedient child? me think you nor get ball. mummy's boy. go hold your mama wrapper dey cry say why she put you for this kind wahala!

@op assuming you marry your ex and she doesn't conceive? (God forbid) what will you do? You will still run to nairaland to cry for help. Please be grateful to God for what you have. Some married men without kids will tell you that they for have preferred marrying an obedient wife that can bear kids for them without love or feelings than marrying one the love that will be disobedient and can't bear kids for them. Nobody can ever be satisfied in this world. That's life for you, there must always be a comma somewhere. Even your so called ex also has a comma which may be worst. Fat ke fat ni!!!!

Dude u can't leave the woman o else u will create an eternal enemy in ur son (am talking from experience). If u have balls enuf to get her pregnant when u know u didn't love her then u shd have enuf balls to be her husband n ur kid's father.

There is no woman that cannot be loved and neither is there any that cannot be beautiful, romantic etc it depends on ur actions. Try get her to make friends with pretty women, buy sexy cloths for her, make her watch romantic films, if she doesn't give u the wow action on bed then get some classic adult films and let her know the type of action u like.

Ultimately let her know she needs step up for things to work and that u are happy to help her make u happy. NO WOMAN WANTS TO BE IN HER HUSSY's HOUSE TODAY AND BE OUT OF IT TOMORROW so be rest assured she will cooperate with u and in d nearest future u will tnk ur star u didn't leave her.

I treat my wife as my friend and we talk a lot (frankly most times). Bottling up ur feelings doesn't help in marriage so talk to ur wife.

If u run away that means u ve proven to be a boy n ur ex too won't take u serious cos dude, u left her in d first place so u will just be jumping from fry pan to fire.

STAY IN UR MARRIAGE.

God bless u.

just dey service ur ex,make i dey service ur woman. .i like orobo. . .hope she get big nyansh?

lefulefu:
me sef i sure say op na igbo woman he marry because from wetin i know about igbo women dem always dey start adding excess weight as soon as dem dey married.Me no know wether na fattening room dem dey put them

stop calling tribes bt rather give ur opinion

I always tell people not to marry just to make your parents happy or agree to accept who your parents want to force on you.
Because in the end, is you and the person will stay together and not your parents. Now you are regretting what you had the power
to change and control. Your parent are living happily while you on the other hand is living sadly. Sorry bro is too late to lament, you have to find a way around it Man.

I hate hearing people who come with the excuse that their parents rejected their choice of partner simply because he/she is not
of same tribe. You are a Man and should have stood by your Ex. Maybe you would have been enjoying your marriage with her.rst

The first person to know whether he or she will be happy in marriage based on life partner selection , is not a prophet, Imam, Alfa, Pastor,
or Okosisi but "you". at-least, if it goes wrong you wont blame anybody but "you" .

When actually will parents stop meddling in thier children choice of life partner? Haba parents stop this pls! Advice,share ur dislike and let ur children make the final choice joor.
I know if Op had complained to the parents now,they will tell him to manage it that marriage is never a bed of roses.
Op,just try to work things out,u hear?

MrCork17:


big mistake. Bro, is she light skin or dark skin?

Bia them dey worry u ni?you go soon ask wether she green or blue kilode!!!!