Smile4mee01:
I have been abroad for a while now and i am curious to know why some of our ladies decline dating or marrying fellow Nigerians in the diaspora. I have tried to date a few any they are often quick to assume i am after them for their papers while i just prefer my own, someone who understands my culture and where i have come from. Even when i try to date the ones that don't have paper, regular work visa holders like me. They seem to want to be with the guys that have papers.

Also, when i am old, i would like to return to Nigeria. Marrying outside would make that transition very difficult.

I study other races, Immigrant groups from India and Asia. they work together well, and don't have these difficulty.

Should i give up on being with a Nigerian or keep trying ?

Regards.

You are about to make a lifetime mistake most mumu Nigerian guys do when they arrive abroad, you better slow down.


Your priority now should never be woman.


Focus, grab the money first, secure your career and papers, ladies will distract you. If you are too hot, go quench it at Russian or Thailand, etc bars or masseurs and forget relationship distractions for now.


I know guys like you that arrived abroad and rushed to marry, today they are regretting it while the ones that focused on the bag came back home and picked the best of the best ladies we have in Naija and are enjoying their life to the fullest devoid of dramas and whatnot.



If you like allow Konji to mislead you, na you go pay the price later in life.

@OP
Continue working towards getting your papers. You'll find a suitable Nigerian lady in due course if you persist.

omooba969:


Give the dog a name so we can hang it.

So women no dey chop breakfast for Naija abi?

them dey do but it's easier in Naija to move on but in diaspora after dating a guy for xyz years and then e no work,to enter another relationship go hard but for Naija it's easier to snatch men from any careless woman

o123456789:
My comment was clear, never did I mentioned that all Nigerians abroad are criminals, there are good and also there are bad ones, but the bad ones are 95% with I must make it either by crook or by hook, how can a man or woman without any meaningful skill survive overseas? the simple answer is crime.

Say the ones within your circle are 95% bad. And I must say, change your network. It shows the kind of person you are. The people within my network that I know are all hardworking people, and earning honestly.
I really fault your association and the people you roll with, bloody criminals!!

humilitypays:
You are about to make a lifetime mistake most mumu Nigerian guys do when they arrive abroad, you better slow down.


Your priority now should never be woman.


Focus, grab the money first, secure your career and papers, ladies will distract you. If you are too hot, go quench it at Russian or Thailand, etc bars or masseurs and forget relationship distractions for now.


I know guys like you that arrived abroad and rushed to marry, today they are regretting it while the ones that focused on the bag came back home and picked the best of the best ladies we have in Naija and are enjoying their life to the fullest devoid of dramas and whatnot.



If you like allow Konji to mislead you, na you go pay the price later in life.

I agree with this man

However shine your eyes well o.know who you go pick , make you no carry am reach oyinbo land and she dey pursue you Comot for your own house

SAMBARRY:
I agree with this man

However shine your eyes well o.know who you go pick , make you no carry am reach oyinbo land and she dey pursue you Comot for your own house

All the guys I know that came back to Nigeria to marry aren't having issues, those having issues know what they did

ednut1:
even Canada that most of us came with permanent residency and papers wasn’t an issue. The Nigerian babes showed men pepper.

i have many friends that started with jobs like customer care and admin while they were doing certificates and training. The Nigerian babes rejected them. But when they got jobs of 90k to 130k a year . The babes came back, but the guys were having none of it. 🤣

The babes also want to live black girl luxury lives( expensive condo, vacations 3 to 4 times a year, eating out everytime etc) . As a guy you are saving for you downpayment and future and will want to live modestly.

Apart from those on student visas, I am willing to bet there are more single Nigerian women than single Nigerian men. If true, why don't these our women marry non-Nigerians even if na other black Africans, Caribbean and African Americans?

They will call you broke join 🤣

This is a terrible mindset from them. Too terrible.

Very confused set of people

tosinhtml:


Nibo latu jasi bayi, what did Asians do to you? Me I love Asians like mad. Especially those Koreans. I love their culture and discipline too much.

East Asians are different from South Asians. To me, there is no difference between South Asians and Africans. Then when you consider the likes of Pakistan and Afghanistan, we are better off.

It's called shakara

Gerrard59:


Apart from those on student visas, I am willing to bet there are more single Nigerian women than single Nigerian men. If true, why don't these our women marry non-Nigerians even if na other black Africans, Caribbean and African Americans?



This is a terrible mindset from them. Too terrible.

black africans- Those men dont want them mostly, they are intimidated by them/ they say our women have masculine energy . They don't like the idea of the billing our women do.
Our women too dont want them as they see them as feminine and weak too.

Caribbean and African Americans - some of them have poor family values, have different baby mamas and kids they wont take care of. They cheat without remorse.Mostly not religious ( our women carry religion for head). They do 50:50 which our women dont want to hear 😆. And the men prefer whites, fellow AA or Caribbean , latina and Asians over our babes

Klass99:


My friend engaged an asian cabbie in conversation in the UK, while riding in his car. The cabbie told her it is very disappointing to see the way we Africans/Nigerians in particular behave overseas. He said we are quick to throw away our cultural values to embrace western ones, we are the ones who are quick to talk back to parents and disrespect them (that was an incident he witnessed in his cab with a Nigerian family)

Whereas he sees Indians, Chinese and some Asians hold onto their cultural values and practices, maintaining the family unit, and refusing to let the west negatively influence them. I think the cabbie's experience and narrative, may help you understand why you are having a hard time finding a Nigerian date.

Charity begins at home. I have never met a people who are so hateful about their own country like Nigerians, same unpatriotism they makes them rape and bleed her whenever they can.

How does it benefit you to feel superior to your own fellow human being.

Smile4mee01:


They are also looking for guys with papers. This paper issue has changed the dynamics.

I dont even mind dating someone without papers because I'm on a pathway to getting my papers already.

and if you come Nigeria come carry one go, she go kill you or you kill her, Avoid woman if possible except your mother, e get why

Smile4mee01:
I have been abroad for a while now and i am curious to know why some of our ladies decline dating or marrying fellow Nigerians in the diaspora. I have tried to date a few any they are often quick to assume i am after them for their papers while i just prefer my own, someone who understands my culture and where i have come from. Even when i try to date the ones that don't have paper, regular work visa holders like me. They seem to want to be with the guys that have papers.

Also, when i am old, i would like to return to Nigeria. Marrying outside would make that transition very difficult.

I study other races, Immigrant groups from India and Asia. they work together well, and don't have these difficulty.

Should i give up on being with a Nigerian or keep trying ?

Regards.

They feel they deserve better sometimes. It's complex but I believe you understand this to an extent as I'm too tired to explain right now.




Some Nigerian guys treat them poorly because they expect them to be desperate seeing that they naturally have a smaller pool of guys that are interested in dating them.

Smile4mee01:


They are also looking for guys with papers. This paper issue has changed the dynamics.

I dont even mind dating someone without papers because I'm on a pathway to getting my papers already.

I don't recommend a woman with papers dating a man without papers solely because of the many many women that have done it in the past and had negative outcomes, ended up being used and dumped and left alone to struggle as single mothers. it's normal for a man without papers to claim he doesn't need papers but a lot of times they are telling lies, it's all part of the game. if you were of the caliber that it would be believable that you want to relocate to nigeria, they may find it easier to believe. from experience of over 20 years in america, it is wise and prudent to keep immigration matters separate from marriage, with some exceptions. it's not fair but with all that has been happening to women here, it's a necessary safeguard.

if you really want to move to nigeria, why not date someone in nigeria and travel back and forth until you are ready to relocate. abi you too don't want someone without american visa??

We date them here in Riyadh.

Smile4mee01:
I have been abroad for a while now and i am curious to know why some of our ladies decline dating or marrying fellow Nigerians in the diaspora. I have tried to date a few any they are often quick to assume i am after them for their

Also, when i am old, i would like to return to Nigeria. Marrying outside would make that transition very difficult.

I study other races, Immigrant groups from India and Asia. they work together well, and don't have these difficulty.

Should i give up on being with a Nigerian or keep trying ?

Regards.

Based on the bold, seek out other black Africans. It depends on where you are based. That is my aim - Kenya, Tanzania, Namibia, Botswana, South Africa, Ghana, Gabon, etc. Even if na Suriname or black from Ecuador, but she must be black. To be fair, some of our men have spoilt our image by marrying for papers. That hurts and humans tend to remember bad deeds more than good. So come clean.

Klass99:


I am not in the diaspora but I stumbled on a thread where someone made a sensible comment about this same issue.

They said something to the effect of everyone being too smart because of their papers/stay, nobody wants to compromise or make sacrifices, for the sake of an authentic relationship because too much sense is worrying all of you there.Na una know wetin dey worry all of you sha!

From my observations, there's a tendency in most of you japarians to gravitate towards self conceit and a vain superiority complex, where you start to think you're better than other Nigerians because;

1. You've lived in obodo for XYZ number of years or you have papers, so even new immigrant Nigerians are like an affront to you guys (meaning their very presence in your host country is like an offence)

2. You think with your papers you have finally arrived what can any Nigerian offer you again. But your papers alone don't provide healthy social interactions, good friendships or companionship, laughter and fun moments with others.

I see that superiority complex even here on NL with folks who haven't lived overseas for 2 years, I smile and shake my head, thinking to myself, poverty is really not a good thing. When you grow up privileged very little about the white man trips you to a point where you start to insult or look down on your country and fellow country men. Because you grow up knowing what your own people are made of and capable of. It's not so much about privilege alone, but having a healthy dose and sense of self worth, self esteem and self love.

My friend engaged an asian cabbie in conversation in the UK, while riding in his car. The cabbie told her it is very disappointing to see the way we Africans/Nigerians in particular behave overseas. He said we are quick to throw away our cultural values to embrace western ones, we are the ones who are quick to talk back to parents and disrespect them (that was an incident he witnessed in his cab with a Nigerian family)

Whereas he sees Indians, Chinese and some Asians hold onto their cultural values and practices, maintaining the family unit, and refusing to let the west negatively influence them. I think the cabbie's experience and narrative, may help you understand why you are having a hard time finding a Nigerian date.

The issue is not only with Japarian's.... It's with us as a people. We see it everyday in work places, families and the society generally in the form of segregation and the "I better pass you mentality". Maybe it's more obvious with Japarians, but we have it ingrained in us. That's why different tribes believe they are superior to others.... And like you said, it all comes from deprivation.

Smile4mee01:
I have been abroad for a while now and i am curious to know why some of our ladies decline dating or marrying fellow Nigerians in the diaspora. I have tried to date a few any they are often quick to assume i am after them for their papers while i just prefer my own, someone who understands my culture and where i have come from. Even when i try to date the ones that don't have paper, regular work visa holders like me. They seem to want to be with the guys that have papers.

Also, when i am old, i would like to return to Nigeria. Marrying outside would make that transition very difficult.

I study other races, Immigrant groups from India and Asia. they work together well, and don't have these difficulty.

Should i give up on being with a Nigerian or keep trying ?

Regards.

My experience as an abroad base guy.

1. She sized me down, and me I can't beg someone to be with me
2. The second lady, need a very rich guy that will not ask her to spill bills.

ednut1:
black africans- Those men dont want them mostly, they are intimidated by them/ they say our women have masculine energy . They don't like the idea of the billing our women do.
Our women too dont want them as they see them as feminine and weak too.

Caribbean and African Americans - some of them have poor family values, have different baby mamas and kids they wont take care of. They cheat without remorse.Mostly not religious ( our women carry religion for head). 😆. And the men prefer whites, fellow AA or Caribbean , latina and Asians over our babes

Interesting.

Over here, many black African men go home to marry and come. Others marry Japanese women. Then, there is a set between black Africans and Caribbean women. There are more black men, black Africans, here than women. So a single black woman who has lived at least five years after school is the one who decided to remain single or was born and bred here (an entirely different concept).

The homogeneity here makes everyone understand their bearing in the society. You guys there are spoilt for choices.

They do 50:50 which our women dont want to hear

So, what do these women use their money for? Dem dey practice "my money is mine, but your own is ours"?

LadyRosa2:
■ When a woman begins to see all men through same lens, the genuine ones will pass that person by. I remembered the story my friend's dad told us while he was hustling in the UK. Some group of young girls who came for masters were hustling for the big life, for the money.
One of the friend instead decides to date this young guy while her friends will always remind her to 'shine her eyes and move with those who will upgrade her life.
To cut the long story short,during an outing at a fanfare, a technical error happened and both suffered life threatening injuries, broken bones. They survived and through their lawyer sued the company and was hugely compensated. Omo,na so both returned back to Nigeria and got married. With millions in pounds as compensation wetin dem still dey hustle for in UK?

Stop telling these ridiculous tales abeg!

SAMBARRY:
them dey do but it's easier in Naija to move on but in diaspora after dating a guy for xyz years and then e no work,to enter another relationship go hard but for Naija it's easier to snatch men from any careless woman

🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂 You crack me up...lol 😂

Klass99:


Whereas he sees Indians, Chinese and some Asians hold onto their cultural values and practices, maintaining the family unit, and refusing to let the west negatively influence them. I think the cabbie's experience and narrative, may help you understand why you are having a hard time finding a Nigerian date.

There's this joke on line that when an indian man starts business in a foreign land, expect him to go and pack all his family members to come and join him.

Naija here, your best friend, who you suffered together with, will get a job and disappear. Won't even tell you that they are travelling. Just like that video where a man didn't tell his long time girlfriend that he was relocating abroad until he was about to fly out.

Something is wrong somewhere with the black man.. Something very strange.

Kobojunkie:
Stop telling these ridiculous tales abeg!

Lol 😂 that's the effect of binging on AfricaMagic/Nollywood.

1Sharon:
■ I'm not talking about those Asians. I'm talking about the peace be with you kind.

Which ones are those abeg?

kkins25:


There's this joke on line that when an indian man starts business in a foreign land, expect him to go and pack all his family members to come and join him.

Naija here, your best friend, who you suffered together with, will get a job and disappear. Won't even tell you that they are travelling. Just like that video where a man didn't tell his long time girlfriend that he was relocating abroad until he was about to fly out.

Something is wrong somewhere with the black man.. Something very strange.

I'm glad that finally someone else echoes the same prognosis. 👍

LadyRosa2:
I will advice you ignore them if you feel you have tried enough. Sometimes this ladies make plans out of ignorance only to regret it miserably later in life.
Sometimes people actually make plans to fail,especially when its out if selfishness. That thing wey you dey pursue, another way dey, its just that you're too greedy selfish, ignorant and proud to see the reason to change your plans and humble yourself. My brother, no mind them. You no get menopause. The one wey get sense go soon reach your hand.

Wow... yet more ridiculous hasty generalization rolled up in more foolishness....come on! Are you for real?

Gerrard59:


Apart from those on student visas, I am willing to bet there are more single Nigerian women than single Nigerian men. If true, why don't these our women marry non-Nigerians even if na other black Africans, Caribbean and African Americans?



This is a terrible mindset from them. Too terrible.

you don't need to bet bro... Go on Tiktok match making live streams

Some diasporan ladies be like "I don't mind if he's income isn't as much as mine, as long as he's stable"...... Na that very day I know say Twitter no be real place. I recently joined a Facebook group for singles.. 15k women, all over the world, looking for love. I'm like, ah, don't this beautiful women meet men in real life. Are there no men in their country? Abi, Women outnumber men? I no dey understand the mathematics at all at all.. Same thing on TikTok.

I have come to the conclusion that all that "talk" about "you don't need anybody to survive" is not for the weak. You're either mentally fortified or have been damaged to the point of no return.. For me, I don't want to be on either end.

Smile4mee01:
I have been abroad for a while now and i am curious to know why some of our ladies decline dating or marrying fellow Nigerians in the diaspora. I have tried to date a few any they are often quick to assume i am after them for their papers while i just prefer my own, someone who understands my culture and where i have come from. Even when i try to date the ones that don't have paper, regular work visa holders like me. They seem to want to be with the guys that have papers.

Also, when i am old, i would like to return to Nigeria. Marrying outside would make that transition very difficult.

I study other races, Immigrant groups from India and Asia. they work together well, and don't have these difficulty.

Should i give up on being with a Nigerian or keep trying ?

Regards.

Come back to 9ja, look for a good and good looking girl and marry here in nigeria.

Dennisochampa:
■ I no be lady but I know say na because alot of guys dey take advantage of them....
They only use them to get papers and afterwards, abandon them for someone else.....

That's what I have seen happen too....Nigerian men who date them in passing with minds already made up to go back when the time is right to either marry that lady they left behind or even the one arrange for them by those back home.

Go the local Nigerian churches for here and you will find that more than half of the men here ended up going back to Nigeria to get themselves wives even after dating women here for many years before.

I feel this is a wrong assumption. You sound as if you're in the UK. There are genuine ladies looking for genuine men to marry them.

Smile4mee01:
I have been abroad for a while now and i am curious to know why some of our ladies decline dating or marrying fellow Nigerians in the diaspora. I have tried to date a few any they are often quick to assume i am after them for their papers while i just prefer my own, someone who understands my culture and where i have come from. Even when i try to date the ones that don't have paper, regular work visa holders like me. They seem to want to be with the guys that have papers.

Also, when i am old, i would like to return to Nigeria. Marrying outside would make that transition very difficult.

I study other races, Immigrant groups from India and Asia. they work together well, and don't have these difficulty.

Should i give up on being with a Nigerian or keep trying ?

Regards.

You people travelled overseas because you don't like Nigeria and Nigeria problems.
Marry overseas people.
-
The time you were here in Nigeria, you didn't marry Nigerians here with you. Now you went overseas and suddenly, it is those Nigerians that you are interested in?
Your intentions are not genuine and you all know it. Hence you Nigerians overseas will just continue repelling each other.