Otulented:


Come back to 9ja, look for a good and good looking girl and marry here in nigeria.

Simple!!!!

Klass99:


I am not in the diaspora but I stumbled on a thread where someone made a sensible comment about this same issue.

They said something to the effect of everyone being too smart because of their papers/stay, nobody wants to compromise or make sacrifices, for the sake of an authentic relationship because too much sense is worrying all of you there.Na una know wetin dey worry all of you sha!

From my observations, there's a tendency in most of you japarians to gravitate towards self conceit and a vain superiority complex, where you start to think you're better than other Nigerians because;

1. You've lived in obodo for XYZ number of years or you have papers, so even new immigrant Nigerians are like an affront to you guys (meaning their very presence in your host country is like an offence)

2. You think with your papers you have finally arrived what can any Nigerian offer you again. But your papers alone don't provide healthy social interactions, good friendships or companionship, laughter and fun moments with others.

I see that superiority complex even here on NL with folks who haven't lived overseas for 2 years, I smile and shake my head, thinking to myself, poverty is really not a good thing. When you grow up privileged very little about the white man trips you to a point where you start to insult or look down on your country and fellow country men. Because you grow up knowing what your own people are made of and capable of. It's not so much about privilege alone, but having a healthy dose and sense of self worth, self esteem and self love.

My friend engaged an asian cabbie in conversation in the UK, while riding in his car. The cabbie told her it is very disappointing to see the way we Africans/Nigerians in particular behave overseas. He said we are quick to throw away our cultural values to embrace western ones, we are the ones who are quick to talk back to parents and disrespect them (that was an incident he witnessed in his cab with a Nigerian family)

Whereas he sees Indians, Chinese and some Asians hold onto their cultural values and practices, maintaining the family unit, and refusing to let the west negatively influence them. I think the cabbie's experience and narrative, may help you understand why you are having a hard time finding a Nigerian date.

Your generalizations on Nigerian men is very disturbing. This is about the umpteenth time I'm seeing a variant of this your disturbing opinion which really has no basis in reality. Contrary to what you think, many Nigerians are keeping a low profile abroad and will barely show off their papers or their fortune, if they have any. But apparently, the loud ones have sounded enough gong to get into your ears and make them think they are the majority. You truly need to readjust.

Kobojunkie:
Wow... yet more ridiculous hasty generalization rolled up in more foolishness....come on! Are you for real?

I've always known you're mentally challenged. I love to be entertained, won't spare you an antidote.

I feel it's wrong for you to think of all Nigerian women in the diaspora like that. There are few good ones. Maybe you haven't met them and are you a good guy too?

Gerrard59:


So, what do these women use their money for? Dem dey practice "my money is mine, but your own is ours"?

Of course!

Kobojunkie:
That's what I have seen happen too....Nigerian men who date them in passing with minds already made up to go back when the time is right to either marry that lady they left behind or even the one arrange for them by those back home.

Go the local Nigerian churches for here and you will find that more than half of the men here ended up going back to Nigeria to get themselves wives even after dating women here for many years before.

True! Infact, my mothers classmate did the same thing. What makes this interesting is the church you mentioned. He was advised by church to marry white woman for papers.

When my mum was telling me the story it was in the narrative of "see how God dey help person." In my mind, I say ah, dis man don dupe innocent woman collect papers.

kokomilala:
Being Catholic In A Multicultural World, With Imbalances In One's Own Culture

I've tried to offer my own humble answer in my title. You're narrowing your choices where u have nonsense of options: whites, blacks, hispanics, Aussies, Indians etc, etc..

Since women from ur kin don't want to date u, possibly because they've been culturally wired to see relationships as material transactions, then you should be open-minded to women of other races and cultures.

These women, who may happen to be much better socially and financially, would oblige u, I'm certain, in a heartbeat.

We have a dysfunctional culture, sadly. It's the culture of gender consumption, where everything is seen through the prism of how-do-I-maximize this relationship materially? from the mundane boyfriend-girlfriend relationship to marriage.

These days, when I see women in their. 40s still single, I no longer have empathy for them. Most of them, it seems, have traded their choices.

People who ran overseas should marry overseas people. Simple.
If you want to marry a Nigerian, there are millions of Nigerians here in Nigeria. Marry one and carry overseas instead of complaining.
You cannot be outside Nigeria and still be expecting 100% Nigerian previlages again.
-
That's how some will insist on eating eba and soup overseas. Nigeria food becomes an expensive delicacy once you leave the shores of Nigeria. Eat the food of the country you find yourself and marry the women of the country there as well.

Gerrard59:


Interesting.

Over here, many black African men go home to marry and come. Others marry Japanese women. Then, there is a set between black Africans and Caribbean women. There are more black men, black Africans, here than women. So a single black woman who has lived at least five years after school is the one who decided to remain single or was born and bred here (an entirely different concept).

The homogeneity here makes everyone understand their bearing in the society. You guys there are spoilt for choices.



So, what do these women use their money for? Dem dey practice "my money is mine, but your own is ours"?

Spa, multiple vacations, home furnishings, latest car, hair, pedicure and manicure, waxing, dining out, channel bags, designer cloths, Beyonce / Mariah Carey/ Burna shows, investments 😁

ImratiiGuy:
We date them here in Riyadh.

That place has good marriage law naaa
Marriage dey last Wella compared to the west.

Gerrard59:


East Asians are different from South Asians. To me, there is no difference between South Asians and Africans. Then when you consider the likes of Pakistan and Afghanistan, we are better off.

Yeah I have issues with South Asians too, I have worked with them in every company. Those guys are terrible, I try to avoid them as much as possible. Actually my brain doesn't even recognise South Asians as Asians, i rarely categorise them as such unless someone explicitly points it out to me.

Vickylabossbaby:
I feel it's wrong for you to think of all Nigerian women in the diaspora like that. There are few good ones. Maybe you haven't met them and are you a good guy too?

yes there are good ones but they are usually not fine or dont have big yansh/ boobs that the guys are looking for 🤣

Pick a lady that is in Nigeria na

jaxxy:
The average Nigerian lady doesn't really care about or understand love or real feelings. They just want someone they can use and so when they are up in vantage position they think guys not in a higher/better postion also want to use them.


The concept of love is abstract or strange to them. I love u to them mean I can use u or take advantage of u.

I find this amusing. Lol.

kkins25:


you don't need to bet bro... Go on Tiktok match making live streams

Some diasporan ladies be like "I don't mind if he's income isn't as much as mine, as long as he's stable"...... Na that very day I know say Twitter no be real place. I recently joined a Facebook group for singles.. 15k women, all over the world, looking for love. I'm like, ah, don't this beautiful women meet men in real life. Are there no men in their country? Abi, Women outnumber men? I no dey understand the mathematics at all at all.. Same thing on TikTok.

Twitter is a very unrealistic place, at least the American version. The Nigerian version dey try dey realistic. The most unrealistic social media Nigerian sub I have come across is Reddit/Nigeria.

Like Pansoph.ist said, the number of marriageable men is less than marriageable women. So, while men outnumber women globally, the kind of men that women want are fewer than expected.

I have come to the conclusion that all that "talk" about "you don't need anybody to survive" is not for the weak. You're either mentally fortified or have been damaged to the point of no return.. For me, I don't want to be on either end.

Yes, one must be stone-cold person to think so. I was like that, but I don dey change. But nothing changes my desire for money. Money is my focus. Money because of myself, not because of woman.

ednut1:
Spa, multiple vacations, home furnishings, latest car, hair, pedicure and manicure, waxing, dining out, channel bags, designer cloths, Beyonce / Mariah Carey/ Burna shows, investments 😁

These things nor bad na.

ednut1:
Spa, multiple vacations, home furnishings, latest car, hair, pedicure and manicure, waxing, dining out, channel bags, designer cloths, Beyonce / Mariah Carey/ Burna shows, investments 😁

Good luck to una then.

folake4u:


These things nor bad na.

where did i say its bad 😆

omooba969:


🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂 You crack me up...lol 😂

when it comes to relationship men Na mumu na.just study his weak point, leverage on it and once you get the man to your side,it's over.wetin remain

ednut1:
where did i say its bad 😆

Lol. You were making it sound like it's bad na.

E ma binu.

Odiegwu!!!

Gerrard59:


Good luck to una then.

some even demand monthly allowance from men they are dating. The first time i heard it from a guy who it happened to i shock. To make hair is around 300 dols, Manicure/ pedicure 80 to 100 dols. So they will say if you want me to look good , you should be giving me allowance 😭😭

Smile4mee01:
I have been abroad for a while now and i am curious to know why some of our ladies decline dating or marrying fellow Nigerians in the diaspora. I have tried to date a few any they are often quick to assume i am after them for their papers while i just prefer my own, someone who understands my culture and where i have come from. Even when i try to date the ones that don't have paper, regular work visa holders like me. They seem to want to be with the guys that have papers.

Also, when i am old, i would like to return to Nigeria. Marrying outside would make that transition very difficult.

I study other races, Immigrant groups from India and Asia. they work together well, and don't have these difficulty.

Should i give up on being with a Nigerian or keep trying ?

Regards.

You mean Nigerian guys declining to date Nigerian girls.


Many Nigerian girls are dumb. They think abroad is like Nigeria. They still carry the Nigeria mentality of depending on a man for money.


Some even think their are sugar daddies abroad. Bunch of lazy losers.

Klass99:


I am not in the diaspora but I stumbled on a thread where someone made a sensible comment about this same issue.

They said something to the effect of everyone being too smart because of their papers/stay, nobody wants to compromise or make sacrifices, for the sake of an authentic relationship because too much sense is worrying all of you there.Na una know wetin dey worry all of you sha!

From my observations, there's a tendency in most of you japarians to gravitate towards self conceit and a vain superiority complex, where you start to think you're better than other Nigerians because;

1. You've lived in obodo for XYZ number of years or you have papers, so even new immigrant Nigerians are like an affront to you guys (meaning their very presence in your host country is like an offence)

2. You think with your papers you have finally arrived what can any Nigerian offer you again. But your papers alone don't provide healthy social interactions, good friendships or companionship, laughter and fun moments with others.

I see that superiority complex even here on NL with folks who haven't lived overseas for 2 years, I smile and shake my head, thinking to myself, poverty is really not a good thing. When you grow up privileged very little about the white man trips you to a point where you start to insult or look down on your country and fellow country men. Because you grow up knowing what your own people are made of and capable of. It's not so much about privilege alone, but having a healthy dose and sense of self worth, self esteem and self love.

My friend engaged an asian cabbie in conversation in the UK, while riding in his car. The cabbie told her it is very disappointing to see the way we Africans/Nigerians in particular behave overseas. He said we are quick to throw away our cultural values to embrace western ones, we are the ones who are quick to talk back to parents and disrespect them (that was an incident he witnessed in his cab with a Nigerian family)

Whereas he sees Indians, Chinese and some Asians hold onto their cultural values and practices, maintaining the family unit, and refusing to let the west negatively influence them. I think the cabbie's experience and narrative, may help you understand why you are having a hard time finding a Nigerian date.

you're right

Resetinc:
There is no real love feelings for any Nigerian lady abroad, even when u dey on top her for bed she dey calculate her moves… Love to them is an ‘opportunity’ and when she is ok she wil kick your asss..

If you don’t want to regret the rest of your hustling life in your country of residence, avoid any woman that speaks pidgin .. just greet her as a sister and keep moving.. e get why😂

lol🤣

folake4u:


I find this amusing. Lol.

agree or disagree?

jaxxy:


agree or disagree?

I totally disagree.

folake4u:


I totally disagree.

u saw the average girl right not all?

So tell me what u disagree with? Let's have a discussion.

weslay:


The issue is not only with Japarian's.... It's with us as a people. We see it everyday in work places, families and the society generally in the form of segregation and the "I better pass you mentality". Maybe it's more obvious with Japarians, but we have it ingrained in us. That's why different tribes believe they are superior to others.... And like you said, it all comes from deprivation.

Rightly said, they make seem as if you ate a awful person for having a "I better pass you mentality" when it is more of a cultural thing in Nigeria. Some of us grow up having others make us feel (in fact they don't have to make you feel its obvious if you are an observant kid) that they are better and their are those that we also feel that we better, yeah it sucks which result in growing up with that mentality; let's be calming down with the judging already.

Smile4mee01:


I study other races, Immigrant groups from India and Asia. they work together well, and don't have these difficulty.



Regards.

lol! I do not think you are studying enough. It is more worse in Indian culture groups.

Kobojunkie:
That's what I have seen happen too....Nigerian men who date them in passing with minds already made up to go back when the time is right to either marry that lady they left behind or even the one arrange for them by those back home.

Go the local Nigerian churches for here and you will find that more than half of the men here ended up going back to Nigeria to get themselves wives even after dating women here for many years before.

.... This is the sad reality.... So the ladies avoid them as much as they can

jaxxy:


u saw the average girl right not all?

So tell me what u disagree with? Let's have a discussion.

Wo. I nor get strength for long talk. I said I found your post amusing, that's all.

ednut1:
some even demand monthly allowance from men they are dating. The first time i heard it from a guy who it happened to i shock. To make hair is around 300 dols, Manicure/ pedicure 80 to 100 dols. So they will say if you want me to look good , you should be giving me allowance 😭😭

Our women in Canada?

The Gods forbid! I never liked that mentality, even in Nigeria. I hate it. Fine, I will play my part as a man, but paying a woman I am dating monthly allowance? Then, hookup is better. The analysis has been conducted, and it was found that it is cheaper/more affordable doing hookup than to enter a relationship. With such a thought process, stick to hookup or go celibate.

It is maddening. No wonder other African men flee. I cannot blame them. You see why I question the financial benefits a man derives from marriage. I am yet to see one.

Dennisochampa:
.... This is the sad reality.... So the ladies avoid them as much as they can

Which makes sense.