Fiscus105:




You too, stop buying overfood" at home, when she sees that the food in the house can barely feed herself and kids, nobody would tell her to adjust.
To force her to adjust, when foods finish, don't buy that day, complaining lamenting for her, that you don't have money and that u have borrowed part of ur salary even before month end. This may force her to use her own money, when she does that, she will understand how things hard in Naija now.

Wisdom

We all hail from different backgrounds and have different home training.
It always tell on our later life.
What is needed is communication,COMPROMISE and management as we can never BEHAVE THE SAME

Face up to her in peace to choose between divorce or adjustment, you will get an honest answer. Staying in a bad marriage for the kids at the expense of your mental health is not worth it. Your kids can still grow up into responsible adults even with her winning custody with your input financially and prayers. This way she will sure get jolted if at all she has any "sense" left upstairs as a woman and would make amends, because no sensible woman would like to lose her hardworking man just like free of charge to another woman out there who don't know how much she has invested in the marriage on different fronts.

vazsily:
Them say who dey ask questions no dey miss road. Although with the Internet crazy people are bound so I am circumspect.

I have been married over 15 years and in that time I have always complained about the way my wife over cooks and then start looking for who to share the food with in the name of giving alms. You would think having managed kitchen and home for that long, food measurement should come naturally.

I have not taking much interest until with the recent inflation and high cost of goods in the market. And why I struggle with the Grace of God to earn a living, madam on the other hand thinks going to the market regularly and living above my salary na achievement without any adjustment. The matter don tire me, I want to simply pick my bags and run but for the kids.

Responsibility is a choice but I think she's abusing it. Giving to the poor comes naturally for me but you must be wise about it. How do i resolve this?

ThunderFireAgba:
■ I can't marry a woman let her sit in the house doing nothing. No contribution, just a liability: Her up-keep for your head, Money for food even ordinary toiletries for your head. It can't be possible.
■ Better support her with a huge sum of money to start something.

I can't either but there are people who prepare that for reasons best known to them. It irritates me to hell when those people now return to complain about the woman doing nothing as if someone forced them to marry a "woman who does nothing" in the first place.

2. Start what exactly? Do you know how many end up having to continue pouring money into keeping the business afloat even after initial investments?

cooooooks:
Woman wey don bmgive you pikin, come dey go market dey cook??

The OP only said the costs are high. Why are you people adding pepper and salt??

Woman wrapper sighted.
When you marry ,leave your wife for house make she dey do house wife. Mugu

Lool. I had a feeling #1 was part of what you were trying to highlight.

Also, i second the motion of business failures.

Even if they want to start a business, they should start small. With an amount of money that they can afford to lose.

Kobojunkiee:
I can't either but there are people who prepare that for reasons best known to them. It irritates me to hell when those people now return to complain about the woman doing nothing as if someone forced them to marry a "woman who does nothing" in the first place.

2. Start what exactly? Do you know how many end up having to continue pouring money into keeping the business afloat even after initial investments?

Really sorry about the insensitive, wanna-be comments up there.

You’ve done 15 years together already.
You know her better.

How about you talk to her with schematics of what her wastefulness does to the family’s resources?
I hope she understands.

Another alternative, give her the money for cooking, monthly.
However she manages it, the house suffers until she learns or turns into her purse to augment. (A tough 1).

vazsily:
Them say who dey ask questions no dey miss road. Although with the Internet crazy people are bound so I am circumspect.

I have been married over 15 years and in that time I have always complained about the way my wife over cooks and then start looking for who to share the food with in the name of giving alms. You would think having managed kitchen and home for that long, food measurement should come naturally.

I have not taking much interest until with the recent inflation and high cost of goods in the market. And why I struggle with the Grace of God to earn a living, madam on the other hand thinks going to the market regularly and living above my salary na achievement without any adjustment. The matter don tire me, I want to simply pick my bags and run but for the kids.

Responsibility is a choice but I think she's abusing it. Giving to the poor comes naturally for me but you must be wise about it. How do i resolve this?

reduce the money for food ,give her money for half things once it's finsh make una stay dey look una self, meanwhile the other cash u reduced use am take dey eat secret for outside ,and watch what she will do or say when nothing dey house,that's how I did mine .

komzy589:
■ It’s kinda stale and unbelievable; the part where you’re pretending not to know that earning their own money is hard for most women to do.
■ I wouldn’t settle for a woman who doesn’t work and earn her own money but most Nigerian women count themselves privileged to only contribute in doing domestic chores and household runs.

1. I don't follow at all.

2. We are discussing Nigeria were the vast majority of men, without a gun to their heads, do just that only to then come back to complain stewpidly about it later.

I am married.

My wife isn't a housewife but if we have many more children, she will be.

ThunderFireAgba:

Woman wrapper sighted.
When you marry ,leave your wife for house make she dey do house wife. Mugu

SHEGE BANZA PROMAX, SO FOR THESE 15 YEARS, IT NEVER OCCURED TO YOU THAT YOUR WIFE IS THE WASTEFUL TYPE?, THIS HARDSHIP WILL FURTHER HELP US TO EXPOSE ALOT OF HIDDEN SECRET, AS IT IS, NA EVERY BODY GO DE COLLECT AM WOTO WOTO FOR BODY, “ABI SHEY NA DATA WE GO CHOP”?

jaxxy:
Sut her down and tell her we are cutting down on things to facel the current reality of things.

If it was her money I can bet she won't be wasting food like that especially at this time. She is yet to know the value of money abd the difficulty to get it.

I pity those men that use to give their girl friend or wife monthly allowance. If you can set up something for her to be doing, what she does with it no concern you. If she squanders it or grow the business tells you the kind of woman you married or have.

Whitelion07:
■ stop giving wrong advice here, there is nothing wrong with what the person up there said. This is Africa not Europe, which one is anybody can cook? A woman is hell bent on sending her husband back to the village with her unesessary wastage and all you have to say is the man should start cooking by himself instead.

I know it is Africa where people create problems for themselves only to then come back to complain the problem is someone else's fault and not theirs..

Kobojunkiee:
You are not the first man to earn money abeg and you are not the first man to earn and cook at the same time, so please make we hear word. If you wanted a wife who earned money for her family too, you would have married a woman who did just that so let's not deviate.

You have a situation where clearly, you and your wife see things differently. Instead of creating an issue where an issue really ought not to exist— anyone can cook— the easiest solution would be to take over the cooking yourself and do so the way you prefer it done. They say if you want something done right you have to do it yourself that is why I gave you the suggestion from earlier.

Then she can take up the responsibility of providing for the family and paying, since she is finding it difficult to learn. She can also learn how hard it is, to make money

vazsily:


He who wears a shoe knows where it hurts the most! In summary i should quit complaining and cook myself after all i won't be the first; your suggestion!! I will not divulge beyond my complaint of food waste and it is pertinent to note that I am least astonished by your off key notes. Why you tell Tinubu make e self fuel for petrol station so that the price will be exactly how he wants it bcoz he cannot delegate or rely on his subordinate!!

Quite surprising you don't her. Na so she dey talk here

vazsily:
Them say who dey ask questions no dey miss road. Although with the Internet crazy people are bound so I am circumspect.

I have been married over 15 years and in that time I have always complained about the way my wife over cooks and then start looking for who to share the food with in the name of giving alms. You would think having managed kitchen and home for that long, food measurement should come naturally.

I have not taking much interest until with the recent inflation and high cost of goods in the market. And why I struggle with the Grace of God to earn a living, madam on the other hand thinks going to the market regularly and living above my salary na achievement without any adjustment. The matter don tire me, I want to simply pick my bags and run but for the kids.

Responsibility is a choice but I think she's abusing it. Giving to the poor comes naturally for me but you must be wise about it. How do i resolve this?

Buy measurement cups (agolo) for her. Now, paste on the kitchen wall no of cups by food.

Sample:
Rice: 3 cups
Beans: 4cups
Yam: 5 sliced
Indomie: 5 packs etc

Make sure she conformed with the new order

cooooooks:
I am married.

My wife isn't a housewife but if we have many more children, she will be.

Hope your pocket will be deep by then??
Don't bring kids into this world you can't cater for from your "One Man Sole Proprietor Business" and let them suffer unprecedented hardship.

Rexymania:
It's simple, sit her down and graph out the rate at which you buy your foodstuffs...some women are funny...or just don't buy any foodstuffs for months. Give her very little money to get foodstuffs. Maybe if she chop beans back to back, her head go correct

U think say na every woman u fit sit down and discuss with?

Okay sir.

Go and sin no more.

ThunderFireAgba:

Hope your pocket will be deep by then??
Don't bring kids into this world you can't cater for from your "One Man Sole Proprietor Business" and let them suffer unprecedented hardship.

Kobojunkiee:


2. Start what exactly? Do you know how many end up having to continue pouring money into keeping the business afloat even after initial investments?

It depends on the " Block heads" they picked as wife.

vazsily:
Them say who dey ask questions no dey miss road. Although with the Internet crazy people are bound so I am circumspect.

I have been married over 15 years and in that time I have always complained about the way my wife over cooks and then start looking for who to share the food with in the name of giving alms. You would think having managed kitchen and home for that long, food measurement should come naturally.

I have not taking much interest until with the recent inflation and high cost of goods in the market. And why I struggle with the Grace of God to earn a living, madam on the other hand thinks going to the market regularly and living above my salary na achievement without any adjustment. The matter don tire me, I want to simply pick my bags and run but for the kids.

Responsibility is a choice but I think she's abusing it. Giving to the poor comes naturally for me but you must be wise about it. How do i resolve this?

There is one project or something she must have tell you to do or buy, so tell her that with the current situation of the country, you need to minimise cost of living in order to achieve that. If she is a woman that really means well for her family, she will adjust withiout being forced.

If the above doesn't work, pretend to be broke for awhile and be serious with it. Don't say you want to pity your children, let them go hungry as well, then after 2 days, tell her you borrow money from your friend. By the time these children embarrass her in the present of those she gave free food to, she will adjust next time you stock your home.

ChybuzzDD:


Don't reply to that moniker next time.

It's probably a bot or virus, not our fellow human

ThunderFireAgba:

Woman wrapper sighted.
When you marry ,leave your wife for house make she dey do house wife. Mugu

And what's wrong with being a housewife? Are you knowledgeable at all?

vazsily:


He who wears a shoe knows where it hurts the most! In summary i should quit complaining and cook myself after all i won't be the first; your suggestion!! I will not divulge beyond my complaint of food waste and it is pertinent to note that I am least astonished by your off key notes. Why you tell Tinubu make e self fuel for petrol station so that the price will be exactly how he wants it bcoz he cannot delegate or rely on his subordinate!!

Leave kobojunki na ova Sabi dey worry am...na only him get solution to every problem for the world and always right and quick to judge.

vazsily:
No be if she gree sit down! My matter dey really complicated. Things are expensive now and it's not funny. She no dey hear. Na to run dey my mind. Bcoz at the rate we dey go na BP remain for me. How do I even make her understand. She go market comes back and nah over cooking. I go the market, same thing. If say these kids are already grown, I swear I will walk away.

I think you are tired of the marriage and already looking for flimsy excuse to walk away.

Does she know your income or you are one of those that hide their salary from their wives?

See bro, discuss with her, let her know you are not running a charity organization. Help her map out how she could be frugal. Most women don't understand "Cash Flow Management".

Learn how to create artificial scarcity.
Reduce d upkeep money and watch her adjust.
But come to think of it....are u sure God is not sustaining u just because of that which u term wasteful?
Some people naturally do not know how to withhold anything from people.
I had a girlfriend that if she sees people sitted she will ask me to give her money and when I do she will give it to them...especially children.
When I complain she will tell me 'but honey u van afford it na....don't u know it opens way'?

Oga run go where na? Tell her mind sharperly and have a word with her. Many women are like that, they like spending and spending till they drop dead.fake life trying to impress others

highvaluewoman:


And what's wrong with being a housewife? Are you knowledgeable at all?

Na so your mama take train you from being a house wife?

Kobojunkiee:
When he was single he would bring money for foodstuff and still do the cooking. The same probably applies to madam as well. So?.

2. That is between him and his madam to decide.

When he was single he was feeding himself alone,thus spending less for the feeding now that madam is involved let her bring her own contribution which is cooking the food

ThunderFireAgba:

Na so your mama take train you from being a house wife?

Yes. And I was very well raised and had a good education and also turned out well. What else?

ThunderFireAgba:
■ It depends on the " Block heads" they picked as wife.

Those "block heads" did not put guns to your heads back when you were marrying them so yours complaints....

Adexvivacity:
OP, fear those under 30 singles.... Imagine someone telling u to cook if u dnt like how she waste food 😂😂😂😂😂

wen u read replies here, I wonder the kind of people who make these comments. A man is complaining of wastage in this harsh economy, and someone is asking him to go do the cooking himself.

Do these people even work to earn a living and fend for themselves? I really doubt they do.