Should I Just Move On - Family

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Should I Just Move On by lamikas(f): 11:54pm On Dec 16, 2023

I need help concerning my relationship which I'm not sure still stands. My guy and I have been dating for a year and half now and he his a very caring and great guy. He his Muslim and I'm a Christian and we both agreed to do our religion without hindering one another. We hardly fight and we settle our quarrels almost immediately.
Recently, my guy and I had a quarrel about communication which I kinda complain to him and I notice he just acted non challant towards and wasn't even trying to correct or amend. This lasted for like 3 wks and we barely talked during those period ( longest we've ever had to quarrel). He would not call me and if I called he would give excuses of different kinds especially " I slept off". Anyways we settled and I went to his place for the weekends but then I decided to go to work from his house the following week. I wasn't feeling sleepy that Sunday night and i decided to play some games on my fone but it was low so I used my guys charger and unplugged his fone. I decide d to play with his instead. Mind u I don't go tru his fone cos I trust him and I don't really think it is necessary but he goes tru mine every single time I come visiting. That's why he didn't change his password I guess, cos he felt save.
I decided to check his Whatsapp and the first message I clicked on was a contact that wasn't saved on his fone. I read the message and found out my guy was cheating on me with a girl he claimed was like a younger sister to him. This guy barely takes pics and funny enough I don't have any recent pics of him. If I take a picture of us or him alone, he would delete it from my fone without my knowledge. And yet he sent the girl his recent pic. I was heartbroken when I read their chat but didn't do anything till the next day. I called him after I got back from work and confronted him, he didn't deny, he only said and I quote " what gave u the right read my chat? And besides I know what I'm doing, I'm not stupid. What if I'm just using her to pass time, u are just overreacting towards this tin". While we were still arguing, I told him I was done with him, that we are over. he seem shocked then after a while cut the call and in annoyance, I blocked him in every place I could. Then I unblocked him after two days but he didn't call back or text.
Now my I'm wondering if I overreacted in that situation. We were already planning to get married next year. maybe I shouldn't have blocked him. Maybe he his into her becos she's a hijabi.

1 Like

Re: Should I Just Move On by Kobojunkie: 12:03am On Dec 17, 2023

lamikas:
■ I decided to check his Whatsapp and the first message I clicked on was a contact that wasn't saved on his fone. I read the message and found out my guy was cheating on me with a girl he claimed was like a younger sister to him. This guy barely takes pics and funny enough I don't have any recent pics of him. If I take a picture of us or him alone, he would delete it from my fone without my knowledge. And yet he sent the girl his recent pic. I was heartbroken when I read their chat but didn't do anything till the next day. I called him after I got back from work and confronted him, he didn't deny, he only said and I quote " what gave u the right read my chat? And besides I know what I'm doing, I'm not stupid. What if I'm just using her to pass time, u are just overreacting towards this tin". While we were still arguing, I told him I was done with him, that we are over. he seem shocked then after a while cut the call and in annoyance, I blocked him in every place I could. Then I unblocked him after two days but he didn't call back or text.
Now my I'm wondering if I overreacted in that situation. We were already planning to get married next year. maybe I shouldn't have blocked him. Maybe he his into her becos she's a hijabi.

I am afraid you had been dating yourself for a while there. You did nothing wrong and no, you did not overreact. Better to cut off now than after you have invested even more of your time and you. undecided

8 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Should I Just Move On by obytex(m): 12:08am On Dec 17, 2023

Premium tears activated... For your own good, leave that guy, I know you are going through emotional pains, but it's necessary for your healing... That guy is using you to pass time.. and the other girl is the real deals.. it's better you move on...... If you go back to him... It must surely end in premium tears.... Good luck in your next relationship...

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: Should I Just Move On by MEGA4BILLION(m): 12:10am On Dec 17, 2023

What else do you want us to tell you

2 Likes

Re: Should I Just Move On by Jeon(f): 12:24am On Dec 17, 2023

You are seeing those tiny naked redflag without the use of microscope , yet you have the time to seek for advice?.

😂😂😂😂

This one got me like grin

crying and laughing.

What if I'm just using her to pass time

THIS ALONE SHOULD GIVE YOU SOME SENSES.

13 Likes 5 Shares

Re: Should I Just Move On by Clicked: 12:37am On Dec 17, 2023

You had better start thanking God for this early Christmas gift He has given you. You that should be doing thanksgiving in church, you're here crying.

Is it the wedding plans of next year you're looking at? The bitter truth is that your marriage would most likely not have happened. A man that refuses to take pictures with or even send pictures to his girlfriend of almost two years but is happily exchanging with his so called friend?

Emotionally his heart is with her, and that's why he has neither texted nor called. Or he would have married you then eventually marry her into that same house and the next thing you'd hear is, after all I'm a muslim and it is permitted in my religion.

Your first sign of his cheating was when he was constantly checking your phone. People who cheat are always dreadfully suspicious about their partners because they believe everyone is doing the same thing that they are doing.

So sis, this one's not for you and God got you out early. Though it may hurt now, but when I tell you that five years down the line when you're laughing with your husband and kids and you randomly remember how you felt about this guy, you would just be laughing at yourself.

Or you can as well go and beg him and let the misery begin. It's your call 🤷🏽‍♀️

2 Likes

Re: Should I Just Move On by Kobojunkie: 12:53am On Dec 17, 2023

Clicked:
■ Or you can as well go and beg him and let the misery begin. It's your call 🤷🏽‍♀️

@lamikas, your profile shows you have been on Nairaland long enough to understand why you feel the way you do now. You already know this is not a man for you but [url=Love, Actually: The science behind lust, attraction, and companionship]the chemicals in your brain[/url] won't let it all die that easy. Somehow your brain needs you to mourn all of the time and effort you invested in trying to make the relationship work, and none of that has anything to do with the boy himself being good or anything of that sort. (Chemicals can't tell such things.) So, grieve and decide today never to settle for the same or similar red flags in your next relationship abeg. undecided

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Should I Just Move On by kkins25(m): 12:59am On Dec 17, 2023

Malo guys usually use Christian women as sperm deposit box. Better leave him..

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: Should I Just Move On by ikeno(m): 1:01am On Dec 17, 2023

Try and reconcile with him because relationship no be moimoi talk more of marriage. You need to be patient, there are things you need to endure and overlook, communication is key in resolving issues and stop taking drastic decisions without thinking it through.

Re: Should I Just Move On by Kobojunkie: 1:09am On Dec 17, 2023

ikeno:
■ Try and reconcile with him because relationship no be moimoi talk more of marriage. You need to be patient, there are things you need to endure and overlook, communication is key in resolving issues and stop taking drastic decisions without thinking it through.

Interesting! undecided

So, what you are telling us is that you would overlook your girlfriend cheating on you with another boy whom she claims is merely for passing time with? undecided

5 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Should I Just Move On by superCleanworks(m): 1:17am On Dec 17, 2023

lamikas:

Now my I'm wondering if I overreacted in that situation. We were already planning to get married next year. maybe I shouldn't have blocked him. Maybe he his into her becos she's a hijabi.

i like when this happens. you just keep thinking and wondering while guy man keeps living his sweet life. That is a very nice Limbo to get stuck in. Next you start stalking him on WhatsApp & all.

Re: Should I Just Move On by LilMissFavvy(f): 2:23am On Dec 17, 2023

How can you date someone of a different religion? Matchewww

1 Like

Re: Should I Just Move On by mrblessed(m): 6:47am On Dec 17, 2023

You said you are done with him, slet it be so. Why areyvyou regreingt your decision?

1 Like

Re: Should I Just Move On by Scholace: 7:19am On Dec 17, 2023

Better you move on with your life. That guy will never chose you over the ijab lady

2 Likes

Re: Should I Just Move On by ecolime(m): 7:43am On Dec 17, 2023

My advise to you is Move on & Don't look back. He doesn't respect you at all.

Re: Should I Just Move On by Blitzking: 9:18am On Dec 17, 2023

lamikas:
I need help concerning my relationship which I'm not sure still stands. My guy and I have been dating for a year and half now and he his a very caring and great guy. He his Muslim and I'm a Christian and we both agreed to do our religion without hindering one another. We hardly fight and we settle our quarrels almost immediately.
Recently, my guy and I had a quarrel about communication which I kinda complain to him and I notice he just acted non challant towards and wasn't even trying to correct or amend. This lasted for like 3 wks and we barely talked during those period ( longest we've ever had to quarrel). He would not call me and if I called he would give excuses of different kinds especially " I slept off". Anyways we settled and I went to his place for the weekends but then I decided to go to work from his house the following week. I wasn't feeling sleepy that Sunday night and i decided to play some games on my fone but it was low so I used my guys charger and unplugged his fone. I decide d to play with his instead. Mind u I don't go tru his fone cos I trust him and I don't really think it is necessary but he goes tru mine every single time I come visiting. That's why he didn't change his password I guess, cos he felt save.
I decided to check his Whatsapp and the first message I clicked on was a contact that wasn't saved on his fone. I read the message and found out my guy was cheating on me with a girl he claimed was like a younger sister to him. This guy barely takes pics and funny enough I don't have any recent pics of him. If I take a picture of us or him alone, he would delete it from my fone without my knowledge. And yet he sent the girl his recent pic. I was heartbroken when I read their chat but didn't do anything till the next day. I called him after I got back from work and confronted him, he didn't deny, he only said and I quote " what gave u the right read my chat? And besides I know what I'm doing, I'm not stupid. What if I'm just using her to pass time, u are just overreacting towards this tin". While we were still arguing, I told him I was done with him, that we are over. he seem shocked then after a while cut the call and in annoyance, I blocked him in every place I could. Then I unblocked him after two days but he didn't call back or text.
Now my I'm wondering if I overreacted in that situation. We were already planning to get married next year. maybe I shouldn't have blocked him. Maybe he his into her becos she's a hijabi.

Let me tell you the truth...he was looking for opportunity to break up with you. He couldn't come up with a good reason...and u did the blocking yourself..perfect plan for him..now he will ease into this new found freedom and focus on the hijabi..its hurtful but u mustnt cry over spilt milk..move on and stop wasting your time with him. If u agree to accept him the knacking go continue but it will end nowhere.

4 Likes

Re: Should I Just Move On by Foodqueen(f): 11:11am On Dec 17, 2023

Now you want to start blaming yourself for him hurting you.

He isn't into u. Maybe, before he was, but now he isn't anymore.

1 Like

Re: Should I Just Move On by Magnoliaa(f): 11:19am On Dec 17, 2023

Kobojunkie:
Interesting!

So, what you are telling us is that you would overlook your girlfriend cheating on you with another boy whom she claims is merely for passing time with?

Men and women are not the same nau. grin

You don't know what's good for Ugandans is not good for the Greeks?

2 Likes

Re: Should I Just Move On by GboyegaD(m): 12:00pm On Dec 17, 2023

If you find him cheating and he isn't remorseful, you should know what you want.
Use your tongue to count your teeth madam. You deserve to be respected, but you have to respect yourself if you want to be respected.

2 Likes

Re: Should I Just Move On by kkins25(m): 2:30pm On Dec 17, 2023

ikeno:
Try and reconcile with him because relationship no be moimoi talk more of marriage. You need to be patient, there are things you need to endure and overlook, communication is key in resolving issues and stop taking drastic decisions without thinking it through.

A Christian advising a Christian, to endure her cheating Muslim BF who sees all Christians as infidels. it seems Misogyny no know religion abi... grin

GTFOUH!!!

1 Like

Re: Should I Just Move On by We4all: 8:36pm On Dec 17, 2023

Babe, run for your life and NEVER look back. That guy is egoistic and you will regret if you make the mistake of getting married to him.

I am also concerned about the differences in religion. It may or may not work out, but for your peace of mind, it is better to get entangled with someone who shares similar religious views with you; unless your plan is to convert to Islam.

I know a Christian lady who married a Muslim guy and during one of those religious crisis, she didn't feel safe in her own home and had to seek refuge amongst the Christians. A lot of things happened and I can only tell you to look before you leap.

1 Like

Re: Should I Just Move On by Kingrshd3: 9:51pm On Dec 17, 2023

ikeno:
Try and reconcile with him because relationship no be moimoi talk more of marriage. You need to be patient, there are things you need to endure and overlook, communication is key in resolving issues and stop taking drastic decisions without thinking it through.

Person wey never enter marriage make she dey patient so when he enter marriage she can be lonely and get married to herself Abi 🤔

It's alright

2 Likes

Re: Should I Just Move On by Kingrshd3: 9:54pm On Dec 17, 2023

Thank God u have realized this before it's too late..

U said u are a christain and he is a Muslim and yet he is dating an hijab lady and sending her pictures and he hardly send or snap pictures with you 🤔

Are u thinking what am thinking now 🤔

U didn't over react rather u did a great job ..

Don't block him anywhere but just don't call him and likely u may even delete his contact ..

And face forward and let go 🙏

You can meet a better christains brother and offer someday plz don't force urself on him 🙏

lamikas:
I need help concerning my relationship which I'm not sure still stands. My guy and I have been dating for a year and half now and he his a very caring and great guy. He his Muslim and I'm a Christian and we both agreed to do our religion without hindering one another. We hardly fight and we settle our quarrels almost immediately.
Recently, my guy and I had a quarrel about communication which I kinda complain to him and I notice he just acted non challant towards and wasn't even trying to correct or amend. This lasted for like 3 wks and we barely talked during those period ( longest we've ever had to quarrel). He would not call me and if I called he would give excuses of different kinds especially " I slept off". Anyways we settled and I went to his place for the weekends but then I decided to go to work from his house the following week. I wasn't feeling sleepy that Sunday night and i decided to play some games on my fone but it was low so I used my guys charger and unplugged his fone. I decide d to play with his instead. Mind u I don't go tru his fone cos I trust him and I don't really think it is necessary but he goes tru mine every single time I come visiting. That's why he didn't change his password I guess, cos he felt save.
I decided to check his Whatsapp and the first message I clicked on was a contact that wasn't saved on his fone. I read the message and found out my guy was cheating on me with a girl he claimed was like a younger sister to him. This guy barely takes pics and funny enough I don't have any recent pics of him. If I take a picture of us or him alone, he would delete it from my fone without my knowledge. And yet he sent the girl his recent pic. I was heartbroken when I read their chat but didn't do anything till the next day. I called him after I got back from work and confronted him, he didn't deny, he only said and I quote " what gave u the right read my chat? And besides I know what I'm doing, I'm not stupid. What if I'm just using her to pass time, u are just overreacting towards this tin". While we were still arguing, I told him I was done with him, that we are over. he seem shocked then after a while cut the call and in annoyance, I blocked him in every place I could. Then I unblocked him after two days but he didn't call back or text.
Now my I'm wondering if I overreacted in that situation. We were already planning to get married next year. maybe I shouldn't have blocked him. Maybe he his into her becos she's a hijabi.

1 Like

Re: Should I Just Move On by Fountainofyouth(f): 10:00pm On Dec 17, 2023

Better move on, religious differences is already a huge red flag on its own.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Should I Just Move On by Nicepoker(m): 10:35pm On Dec 17, 2023

This is when you should love him the more. Forgive and forget. You know AGE IS NO LONGER ON YOUR SIDE. grin

Re: Should I Just Move On by Dense1512v(m): 3:58am On Dec 18, 2023

lamikas:
I need help concerning my relationship which I'm not sure still stands. My guy and I have been dating for a year and half now and he his a very caring and great guy. He his Muslim and I'm a Christian and we both agreed to do our religion without hindering one another. We hardly fight and we settle our quarrels almost immediately.
Recently, my guy and I had a quarrel about communication which I kinda complain to him and I notice he just acted non challant towards and wasn't even trying to correct or amend. This lasted for like 3 wks and we barely talked during those period ( longest we've ever had to quarrel). He would not call me and if I called he would give excuses of different kinds especially " I slept off". Anyways we settled and I went to his place for the weekends but then I decided to go to work from his house the following week. I wasn't feeling sleepy that Sunday night and i decided to play some games on my fone but it was low so I used my guys charger and unplugged his fone. I decide d to play with his instead. Mind u I don't go tru his fone cos I trust him and I don't really think it is necessary but he goes tru mine every single time I come visiting. That's why he didn't change his password I guess, cos he felt save.
I decided to check his Whatsapp and the first message I clicked on was a contact that wasn't saved on his fone. I read the message and found out my guy was cheating on me with a girl he claimed was like a younger sister to him. This guy barely takes pics and funny enough I don't have any recent pics of him. If I take a picture of us or him alone, he would delete it from my fone without my knowledge. And yet he sent the girl his recent pic. I was heartbroken when I read their chat but didn't do anything till the next day. I called him after I got back from work and confronted him, he didn't deny, he only said and I quote " what gave u the right read my chat? And besides I know what I'm doing, I'm not stupid. What if I'm just using her to pass time, u are just overreacting towards this tin". While we were still arguing, I told him I was done with him, that we are over. he seem shocked then after a while cut the call and in annoyance, I blocked him in every place I could. Then I unblocked him after two days but he didn't call back or text.
Now my I'm wondering if I overreacted in that situation. We were already planning to get married next year. maybe I shouldn't have blocked him. Maybe he his into her becos she's a hijabi.

You are lucky. Thank your God

Re: Should I Just Move On by Nitoriolohun1: 8:36am On Dec 18, 2023

lamikas:
I need help concerning my relationship which I'm not sure still stands. My guy and I have been dating for a year and half now and he his a very caring and great guy. He his Muslim and I'm a Christian and we both agreed to do our religion without hindering one another. We hardly fight and we settle our quarrels almost immediately.
Recently, my guy and I had a quarrel about communication which I kinda complain to him and I notice he just acted non challant towards and wasn't even trying to correct or amend. This lasted for like 3 wks and we barely talked during those period ( longest we've ever had to quarrel). He would not call me and if I called he would give excuses of different kinds especially " I slept off". Anyways we settled and I went to his place for the weekends but then I decided to go to work from his house the following week. I wasn't feeling sleepy that Sunday night and i decided to play some games on my fone but it was low so I used my guys charger and unplugged his fone. I decide d to play with his instead. Mind u I don't go tru his fone cos I trust him and I don't really think it is necessary but he goes tru mine every single time I come visiting. That's why he didn't change his password I guess, cos he felt save.
I decided to check his Whatsapp and the first message I clicked on was a contact that wasn't saved on his fone. I read the message and found out my guy was cheating on me with a girl he claimed was like a younger sister to him. This guy barely takes pics and funny enough I don't have any recent pics of him. If I take a picture of us or him alone, he would delete it from my fone without my knowledge. And yet he sent the girl his recent pic. I was heartbroken when I read their chat but didn't do anything till the next day. I called him after I got back from work and confronted him, he didn't deny, he only said and I quote " what gave u the right read my chat? And besides I know what I'm doing, I'm not stupid. What if I'm just using her to pass time, u are just overreacting towards this tin". While we were still arguing, I told him I was done with him, that we are over. he seem shocked then after a while cut the call and in annoyance, I blocked him in every place I could. Then I unblocked him after two days but he didn't call back or text.
Now my I'm wondering if I overreacted in that situation. We were already planning to get married next year. maybe I shouldn't have blocked him. Maybe he his into her becos she's a hijabi.

You agreed on maintaining your religion after getting married right? What about that of your children?

Your case is similar to As wanting to marry As

Marriage is beyond feelings, it is a reality. A reality that must be calculated and balanced.

I can tell you for free he is passing time with you and keeping the hijab sister.

He sees her as sexually pure and can be keep for marriage but you for conquering Kongo

How on earth can you be sleeping/living with a man you are not married to?

You are desperate and he is feeding on it.

Thank God it's happening earlier so you can heal fast and more move on.

Pele

Re: Should I Just Move On by lamikas(f): 10:19am On Dec 18, 2023

[quote author=Nitoriolohun1 post=127540242][/quote] I wasn't living with him... I just spend the weekend most times

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