We married 2 years ago and just had our first child 6 months ago, our beautiful daughter.  Her parents have been helping us with the baby but her father is always finding something to complain about. First he never cared for me because he felt thought I was trying to take his daughter away from him.  Another problem he has with me is that she is a nurse and earns substantially more than my teacher salary. My father in law constantly points this out. He always is bragging about how he providing a good life for his wife, his mom , and even said he will provide for his daughter if I can’t! My wife is like the apple of his eye but he is trying to sabotage my marriage and she seems to always make excuses for his disrespectful conduct. Whenever he comes around my wife and I seem to argue more than usual. I am her husband but she says that her father means no harm and that he has always been a domineering man.  I don’t get bothered by much but when her dad undermines me as a man, I feel like throwing him out of our house, or at least I feel my wife should stand up for me. Then she asks me to just keep quiet even when her dad shows total disrespect. I have a loving wife but my father in law is no friend of mine.

So we have crazy father inlaws too? Thought it all ended with mother inlaws.
Is your FIL living with you or he visits occassionally?
You dont have to 'attack' him, let your wife do it. Since she has a sound r'ship with the dada, make her see reasons with you and stop the daddy from 'harassing' you

I don't blame your father inlaw, i blame your wife.If she does not allow it he will not do it. She obviously does not have respect for her marriage or else y will u allow ur father to insult your husband.

@Poster
U have to quickly address the whole issues with ur wife b4 it becomes something else. Let ur wife know in clear terms dat u dont welcome most of her father's attitude, and if ur wife is afraid of talking to her dad, u should educate her on how to approach her dad concerning the matter at hand. Don't hesitate, do it now to avoid future mishap.

Wish u d best

//

Your wife is the problem. I am speaking from experience, though my own dad never disrespected my husband before or after Marriage, he only gave my husband a tough time before marriage, my husband had to prove himself a million times because I was young then.

Your wife has to speak to her dad, I spoke to my dad and I remember asking him ''You have tested him enough do you think I am making the right decision?'' and he replied ''I couldn't be more proud of you'' and then I told him '' now that I have decided to do this, you know you have to loosen your grip because there is someone else in my life'' and yes he was very understanding because I made him realize that his FIL was not a pain in his azz, so why would he be in my husband's azz?

She needs to speak out, her father is being over protective though and has no right to insult yoy in your house.

This is what I will call interference. It is never healthy in a marriage. It is best to leave husband & wife alone (especially in the first few years of marriage).

You need to make your wife understand that even if she thinks her dad means no harm, that he is indeed harming your relationship.

Yep, i agree with everyone, your wife has to step up her game, my mum is like her father, very domineering and controlling,(always comparing and contrasting) but when it comes to my hubby she knows that she has to back-off. This is my home, let me run it they way i please. So talk to your wife to talk to her dad, or else she will not be happy when you 'flip- out' on her dad.

If all efforts to make you wife see reason to talk to her dad fails, make more efforts and earn more than her, then make her and her dads life miserable by your every action. But I also think this problem has an expiry date, as your marriage gets solid, she will come nearer to you.

i watched a movie about this once, starring owen wilson.

cant recall the name.

owen was living with his best friend and the wife, the father in law didnt like the son in law and the son in law got so frustrated, etc etc.

Why is she letting her dad to compare dik sizes with you?
How would HE like it if his own FIL came and started causing trouble in his own home. Given his personality, would he not throw the old man out?
People tend to be selfish until things are put into perspective for them.

She needs to step her wife game up and talk her dad down. She is not holding up her end of the deal.
You'd do the same if any of your parents started talking about/to her like that.

What are you waiting for. Move your mother in

^^ A very good idea actually.

Move your mother in. hopefully she is the type that nitpicks on the wife.
The day your wife comes to you to complain you then have a point of reference for her to understand how silly she herself has been.

Tell FIL that next time, he wont be welcome at your house anymore if this disrespect persists and stand by it. In future, your wife will be meeting him at his house, not yours. Respect must be reciprocal.

did you not notice this before marrying so why complain now?

you dont have any right to talk back to ur father inlaw no matter what cos ur wife is his product of hard work,bt u are d man of d house and u have every right to talk to ur wife when she is misbehaving,talk to her abt it she is no longer a girl,gud luck

Outstrip: What are you waiting for. Move your mother in

I love ds
what of if they r not based in Nigeria?
You have to talk to ur wife to call her father to order if not u will stop him from coming to ur house!
if she refuses to do anything abt ds, threaten her that she will have to go back to her father's house and see her reaction .

I thot this is meant to be the job of MIL, never knew FIL do this also...SMH

Your wife is the solution to your problem, get your wife to speak to her dad...

Your wife get serious problem!! Why didn't she say 'I do' to her father?

owanku: Your wife get serious problem!! Why didn't she say 'I do' to her father?

Maybe it's because the father is not the one who proposed to her he needs to stand up for himself and he has to tell his wife how he feels and how he wants her support. Complaining about it on nairaland will not change a damn thing