The above could make you wonder whether you read right. Indeed, you did. In this era of divorce cases upsurge, this discussion couldn't be timelier and attempts to unravel its root. As unprecedented as the question is, it draws attention to the unpopular viewpoint that divorce is facilitated before rather than during marriage as many people think. I argue so for a sole reason.


Divorce reflects a couple's inadequate preparation before marriage. It is worrisome preparation today has been reduced to secondary matters like outfits, halls, food, drinks, decoration, guests, family connections, and pictures. Primary matters of self-awareness, mutual desire, redefinition of love as a decision, visions compatibility, home vision-setting, values selection, envisaging best and worst (what if conception is delayed for long?) marital scenarios somewhat and suitable reactions, careers reconciliation, family financial priorities, managing in-laws, preferred pattern of raising children, ways of preventing and resisting extramarital affairs, love languages, and conflict management are neglected. This is core preparation, ask right questions! Seek objective analyses through self-discipline, overlook monetary/physical incentives, for your future's sake. Some couples may claim to have discussed them but investigation often reveals no depth. Most divorces are traceable to either shallow considerations or resolution misapplications. Needless to mention Basketmouth-Elsie Okpocha and Yul-May Edochie cases. Failing to prepare before marriage is preparing to divorce after marriage.


But someone may disagree and contend my position is rife with assumptions, because there are cases that some couples went with the flow, yielded to parental/peer preferences and personal whims, and remained together to date after several decades. Thus, the perspective above is redundant and an effort to complicate marriage. I respond thus: How truly harmonious is that couple outside cameras of your eyes? It is possible that husband and wife struggle through each year with disloyalty and silent rancour for their marriage to survive.


Hence, marrying based on assumptions, not thorough consensual resolutions, is a recipe for becoming a divorcee on paper or miserable spouse imagining divorce daily. Also, my view overcomes intervention of chance in avoiding divorce by ensuring purposefulness before and during marriage. Prevent "Irreconcilable differences" later by preparing now to the letter!


©Kelechi O. Naze (KON)

cc: mynd44, seun, royalroy

Front page material.

Lack of preparation, pressure , lack of understanding of spouse and infatuation are the causes of divorces

It happens long before the marriage is over. Technically, it happens before during, and after the marriage.

Maisiba:
It happens long before the marriage is over. Technically, it happens before during, and after the marriage.

Before marriage is the most crucial; during marriage are symptoms of negligence on either the husband or wife's part.

cc: royalroy, seun.

cc: mynd44, royalroy, seun.

Front page material. This post will help many avoid marital crashes.

cc: seun