I'm a single 39yr old Nigeria guy in diaspora trying to settle down and going to Nigeria to marry is not an option.

I'm an introvert who has been through some childhood trauma in my family and really fear marriage because of what I have seen and how bad it can be sometimes.

However, an old female friend and colleague of mine who we worked together in Nigeria and now in canada recently contacted me and she is also single and not had children. She is doing well for herself and now a citizen there while I'm not. A part of me is concerned about

1. Fertility : I desire children. However, can she have me healthy children @ 39. How many can she have? I discussed us trying for a child , she appears to want a.marriage first. But what gurantees do I have to have children.


Should I be concerned? I dont want to enter one chance.



Please I use God beg you, no insults just advice. Abeg. God bless you.

Smile4mee01:
I'm a single 39yr old Nigeria guy in diaspora trying to settle down and going to Nigeria to marry is not an option.

I'm an introvert who has been through some childhood trauma in my family and really fear marriage because of what I have seen and how bad it can be sometimes.

However, an old female friend and colleague of mine who we worked together in Nigeria recently contacted me and she is also single and not had children. She is doing well for herself and now a citizen there while I'm not. A part of me is concerned about

1. Fertility : I desire children. However, can she have me healthy children @ 39. How many can she have? I discussed us trying for a child , she appears to want a.marriage first. But what gurantees do I have to have children.

Should I be concerned?

Not really if you do fertility test and if needed take fertility booster

Ynix:


Not really if you do fertility test and if needed take fertility booster

Thank you. Appreciate your advice.

You have no worries, she can give birth to healthy babies as long as she doesn't have fertility issues.

Smile4mee01:
I'm a single 39yr old Nigeria guy in diaspora trying to settle down and going to Nigeria to marry is not an option.

I'm an introvert who has been through some childhood trauma in my family and really fear marriage because of what I have seen and how bad it can be sometimes.

However, an old female friend and colleague of mine who we worked together in Nigeria and now in canada recently contacted me and she is also single and not had children. She is doing well for herself and now a citizen there while I'm not. A part of me is concerned about

1. Fertility : I desire children. However, can she have me healthy children @ 39. How many can she have? I discussed us trying for a child , she appears to want a.marriage first. But what gurantees do I have to have children.


Should I be concerned? I dont want to enter one chance.



Please I use God beg you, no insults just advice. Abeg. God bless you.

You want to marry her because she is a citizen. That's the main motivation for you ...

So just know it won't be a marriage because this is purely transactional so don't go in there with warped expectations.

Don't go there looking for love because she is just desperate to have a family while you want documents

So don't call this what it is not. This is an arrangement

As a man you should know what you want. If I am to be in your shoe I will marry her. I prefer matured ladies, doing well for herself, already know what she want.

Are you INSANE?

You want to marry a 40-year old Nigerian woman who'll have the upper hand in the marriage?

She's in a gynocentric society and has citizenship while you do NOT. She'll control and manipulate you however she wants and you'll just have to suck it up!

PLUS at 40 years old, this woman has had at least 3 home-made abortions. Her age plus abortions means her ability to carry a child to term is EXTREMELY low.

She knows this. That's why she has refused to try for a child when her biological clock is already DEAD and waiting to be buried.

Most women her age would be eager to get pregnant and have their own child. The fact that she's insisting on marriage FIRST is telling.

She wants a guarantee that she'll NOT die alone. That you'll NOT run away if she's barren. That's why she's insisting on marriage.

She wants your companionship and doesn't care about what YOU want.

In short:

Go ahead with the marriage if you don't mind being controlled, manipulated and NEVER having children.

By the way when people talk about marrying for green card, they are NOT talking about Nigerian women.

Insane for what?

Namaster:
Are you INSANE?

PrinceofSarcasm:


You want to marry her because she is a citizen. That's the main motivation for you ...

So just know it won't be a marriage because this is purely transactional so don't go in their with warped expectations.

Don't go there looking for love because she is just desperate to have a family while you want documents

So don't call this what it is not. This is an arrangement

Thanks.

I know it looks transactional however, I have dated women outside my race here that I could have gotten papers from however we just seem not to get along. I am also starting my nursing program soon which guarantees me papers.

I appreciate your input. Woman matter Dey Taya me sometimes.

This already bears all the hallmarks of a relationship that won't end well.

Not once in your submission did you ever imply that "true love/feelings" from both sides were the rationale behind your quest.

It was either her immigration status or her ability or lack thereof to procreate.

This is a recipe for disaster, and the earlier you disembark from this journey, the better for you.

I'd also advise that you seek out help for your past trauma so you don't bring that into your future relationship.

You aren't ready for a union in the right sense of it, you are just trying to find someone as desperate as you to hitch on and use.

Smile4mee01:
I'm a single 39yr old Nigeria guy in diaspora trying to settle down and going to Nigeria to marry is not an option.

I'm an introvert who has been through some childhood trauma in my family and really fear marriage because of what I have seen and how bad it can be sometimes.

However, an old female friend and colleague of mine who we worked together in Nigeria and now in canada recently contacted me and she is also single and not had children. She is doing well for herself and now a citizen there while I'm not. A part of me is concerned about

Are you in Diaspora or it's a name of a village in Nigeria? All the health facilities there, this shouldn't be a problem, should it?

You also don't know that the quality of sperms reduce as you age, even as a man?

O ma se oh...

I Can tell you that at her age.it might be very difficult for her to have children for you and she would most likely want to control your life.if you do marry her,within 3months you would find out these things to be true. so marry her only if you do love her and you are ready to manage whatever you with her.

Smile4mee01:
I'm a single 39yr old Nigeria guy in diaspora trying to settle down and going to Nigeria to marry is not an option.

I'm an introvert who has been through some childhood trauma in my family and really fear marriage because of what I have seen and how bad it can be sometimes.

However, an old female friend and colleague of mine who we worked together in Nigeria and now in canada recently contacted me and she is also single and not had children. She is doing well for herself and now a citizen there while I'm not. A part of me is concerned about

1. Fertility : I desire children. However, can she have me healthy children @ 39. How many can she have? I discussed us trying for a child , she appears to want a.marriage first. But what gurantees do I have to have children.


Should I be concerned? I dont want to enter one chance.



Please I use God beg you, no insults just advice. Abeg. God bless you.

Age is just a number
Women still give birth till 45

You can still have 3 kids with her

You guys can go for medical check up to clear your doubt

39 go far, many things dey to fear and fertility na like No 4 for the list.

I wish you all the best, e no go spoil for you.

In case una don forget if you're looking for work from home opportunities, read the article below.

https://prepgist.com/how-to-teach-online-and-earn-money/

There's a reason why she's been single for that long. Flee if you can or figure out bfr getting yourself into a trap.

But medically there's higher possibility of having kids with Autism or down syndrome esp coming from a lady of 39yrs without labour experiences.

The ball is in your court

Body count really matters.

If she has not been sleeping around, then you are lucky to have her. This is because she would have gone to several mountains to pray for husband, so she will treat anyone she gets like a King and will never join the bitter miserable feminists.

Some people are just not so lucky to get things easily. Someone like Funke Akindele is just unlucky meeting cursed idiots as husbands. Two useless vagabonds which she married at different times almost spoiled her life.

As per having children, some 20 years old are unable to have children, while some 50 years old are still having children

Age is just a number, but the after effect is what I don't like. avoid see finish

Yes

A 39 Year Old Pussy..

Aiye e ti bajee..

No

Abeg go and look for younger ladies who have also relocated to Canada

Them plenty for there abeg

Let the 39 year old lady know she's wasting her time with you as you have lots of concern

You are already concerned.

Hahahaha

Don't try it bro..
If you do, better come back to Nigeria and marry a younger wife.

Smile4mee01:


Thanks.

I know it looks transactional however, I have dated women outside my race here that I could have gotten papers from however we just seem not to get along. I am also starting my nursing program soon which guarantees me papers.

I appreciate your input. Woman matter Dey Taya me sometimes.

If the bolded is true, where is your desperation coming from? You need to address that first, before settling down with just anyone for God knows what. Why put yourself in a precarious situation?

There is government funded IVF in Canada . At your age why do you still want more children One or two is ok. If you had your first born at 41 years, at 55-60 can you be doing school runs, extra curricular activities etc with them Guy you funny abeg

Don't be pls, she is good to go. In fact that's d best , but pls don't listen to all these red pill guys

I will suggest you have a heart to heart discussion with her about child bearing. As an introvert, psychologically evaluate her body language and draw your inference.