Your father is a mean man, so he wants to retire to the village, and the best thing he could to you the only house he owns in the city is to sell it. When he has children he can still call on for help. Na wao

AtoningBlood:


The money is long gone.

He started asking for money months after selling the house.

Rent him a 1 bedroom flat or he should stay in the village. Don't let him manipulate you into spending money consecutively for a bigger apartment.

This is a clear example of the foolish also grow old. Grey hair Don't mean wisdom. Get that old fool a self contain.

AtoningBlood:
I need your input people.

3 years ago, my dad sold our house without informing anyone of us. Meanwhile, we all had things left at home, including my mum's items. He never told us where some of those things are till date.

He sold that house and went to the village, he immediately started having issues with the village people. Fight today, fight tomorrow. Everyone in the village I heard now disrespect him due to how he reveal his secrets to anyone who cares to listen.

My dad wants to leave the village to go rent an apartment in another state. His financial responsibility has been on me alone. My siblings abandoned him.

He's being nursing the idea of leaving the village and never informed me. Last november I spent almost 2 million naira fixing solar power and inverter for him in his house at the village and immediately after that he started saying he wants to leave the village..

I told my dad never to relocate to the village yet, that he should wait till his is older as he is still agile and all his friends are in the state where we lived or around. He also gets contracts once in a while so I don't bear much financial burden. But no, he failed to listen and sold our house and left.

My dad wants me to cough out another 1M to rent a house, he wants it big, 3 bedroom. I told him to look for a 2 bedroom but he said where would visitors stay.

I am not even comfortable seeing him in a rented apartment, what would my cousins say, they would mock us. I have some of them who are very naughty. He is bringing shame in us.

We have two properties and my husband wants him to come and stay in one, I vehemently disagreed because he will be controlling us, some of my extended family members will come visiting him and carry the news to the village, as well as discussing my own family and I don't want that. They contributed to what is happening to him now. Through him, some of them will come to stay and I can not start what I can't continue with. So I told my husband to dead that idea fast.

He wants to leave the village latest by February. How do I convince him to get a 2 bedroom flat? 3 bedroom would mean 3 mattresses, and everything triple. My dad doesn't like anything less. All the expenses will be on me alone. My siblings don't care.

I can't turn deaf ears to his needs. I don't want him in the village and I hate to see him in a rented apartment but that is what it is now.

I need contructive advice especially those of us with retired parents, how do you relate with their needs? I told him to think of a small trade so he won't be idle like he's been since retirement and he is talking about setting up electrical pole business, I laughed. Sebi he wan rek me. Same way he did not manage hid wealth.

You father should remain in the village. Why would he sell a whole house and then relocate to the village ? What did he do with the money realized from selling his house ?

The man will later sell the house

TheBillyonaire:
From the points you raised, you have a good heart and also have the resources to expand your wealth. Whenever ever you experience constriction, do the opposite - Expand!

I know you mentioned that he wants 3-Bedroom Flat and wants to move in as early as February. Do not allow yourself to be manipulated. ASk him to be patient because you have a better plan for him.

Do some research on your State Capital or your Husband's Capital and and convince your husband to help out too because this is an opportunity to own a little more real real estate. Buy cheap land at the sub-urban that could be useful for you or your kids in the future and build a 3-Bedroom bungalow which he will move him and when he translates, the house is yours.

Ignore the idea of rent if you can afford to build a simple 3-Bedroom and tell him you are building a house for him, the news will restore his pride and yours and shut the lips of the naysayers and also buy him sometime to enjoy the village.

As for his Electric Pole business, it is a good idea, but he can start with Block Making business after the house is complete, there is a chance he can get back on his feet with it.

Munzy14:

The earlier you leave him and focus on yourself, the better for you.

I tell you!!!
Once they assume you have money, they will be demanding u reasonable and unnecessary things.

Your idea is nice and I go by it, but for the op to tell her dad she want to build the house for him is wrong,.with the mans life style, once he know that they build the house for him, he might decide one day that he want to sell the house...better still is to build the house and told him its a rented apartment..

TheBillyonaire:
From the points you raised, you have a good heart and also have the resources to expand your wealth. Whenever ever you experience constriction, do the opposite - Expand!

I know you mentioned that he wants 3-Bedroom Flat and wants to move in as early as February. Do not allow yourself to be manipulated. ASk him to be patient because you have a better plan for him.

Do some research on your State Capital or your Husband's Capital and and convince your husband to help out too because this is an opportunity to own a little more real real estate. Buy cheap land at the sub-urban that could be useful for you or your kids in the future and build a 3-Bedroom bungalow which he will move him and when he translates, the house is yours.

Ignore the idea of rent if you can afford to build a simple 3-Bedroom and tell him you are building a house for him, the news will restore his pride and yours and shut the lips of the naysayers and also buy him sometime to enjoy the village.

As for his Electric Pole business, it is a good idea, but he can start with Block Making business after the house is complete, there is a chance he can get back on his feet with it.

AtoningBlood:
I need your input people.

3 years ago, my dad sold our house without informing anyone of us. Meanwhile, we all had things left at home, including my mum's items. He never told us where some of those things are till date.

He sold that house and went to the village, he immediately started having issues with the village people. Fight today, fight tomorrow. Everyone in the village I heard now disrespect him due to how he reveal his secrets to anyone who cares to listen.

My dad wants to leave the village to go rent an apartment in another state. His financial responsibility has been on me alone. My siblings abandoned him.

He's being nursing the idea of leaving the village and never informed me. Last november I spent almost 2 million naira fixing solar power and inverter for him in his house at the village and immediately after that he started saying he wants to leave the village..

I told my dad never to relocate to the village yet, that he should wait till his is older as he is still agile and all his friends are in the state where we lived or around. He also gets contracts once in a while so I don't bear much financial burden. But no, he failed to listen and sold our house and left.

My dad wants me to cough out another 1M to rent a house, he wants it big, 3 bedroom. I told him to look for a 2 bedroom but he said where would visitors stay.

I am not even comfortable seeing him in a rented apartment, what would my cousins say, they would mock us. I have some of them who are very naughty. He is bringing shame in us.

We have two properties and my husband wants him to come and stay in one, I vehemently disagreed because he will be controlling us, some of my extended family members will come visiting him and carry the news to the village, as well as discussing my own family and I don't want that. They contributed to what is happening to him now. Through him, some of them will come to stay and I can not start what I can't continue with. So I told my husband to dead that idea fast.

He wants to leave the village latest by February. How do I convince him to get a 2 bedroom flat? 3 bedroom would mean 3 mattresses, and everything triple. My dad doesn't like anything less. All the expenses will be on me alone. My siblings don't care.

I can't turn deaf ears to his needs. I don't want him in the village and I hate to see him in a rented apartment but that is what it is now.

I need contructive advice especially those of us with retired parents, how do you relate with their needs? I told him to think of a small trade so he won't be idle like he's been since retirement and he is talking about setting up electrical pole business, I laughed. Sebi he wan rek me. Same way he did not manage hid wealth.

One thing I can tell u is people like this are very stubborn and adamant. They live in a world of their own, they can't see the world have changed and not what it used to be. You LL need lot of convincing and patience cos there's just a thin line between getting him to think you don't care about him despite his previous sacrifices.

.

AtoningBlood:
My story is long, please read and advise if you experience something similar with your retired parent, or how do you create a balance.

I can't just believe this will happen to him so quickly when it was just 2020 I told him never to go to the village. Ohhh,

My sincere advice though it might sound harsh is that you also abandon him just like your siblings and then watch him come to his senses . Then it will be easy for him to listen to you nor anyone or else you LL just carry unnecessary burden that might cause you your marriage.. To you ,your husband might not be complaining but just watch with time

oluku86:
The man will later sell the house

How will he sell when the title of the property is not on his name?

.

It's like you pick calls too much.
You are too accessible.
I'm sure he calls you everyday.
Someone that you should talk to maximum of once a week.
If he asks for money, send 10k. Maximum 20k.
I hope you didn't place him on some kind of monthly salary ooo

Solofresh2:
Let him rent the apartment. Let him learn his lessons.
You don't pamper stubborn people.Am sure he still believes he is doing the right thing. Let him learn the hard way
The fact that he sold the house without telling his family shows he has no respect for his family.
If you do as he wishes, then you are obviously the foolish one among his children

I really appreciate this comment.. OP is really one of the reasons why her dad is just the way he is... Instead of her to plan for her kids or family,she is there planning for an old man that decided to be inconsiderate and stubborn at his age.. Make she continue. But one thing I know for sure is that , her husband will tell her something some day and she won't find it funny... Dem don marry her yet she is there disturbing her husband with her father's reckless lifestyle

bjbjjo:
I pity your husband! You and your dad want to send the poor man to his early grave

No bother yourself. Naaa just time .. That husband go tell her something wey go shock her to her marrows

armyofone:


I tell you!!!
Once they assume you have money, they will be demanding u reasonable and unnecessary things.

It's terrible.

YOUR FATHER HAS NO PROBLEM.
THE ONE WITH THE PROBLEM IS YOU! YES YOU!
BECAUSE HE HAS A PLACE TO PUT HIS TROUBLE AND GET RESULT.

RETURN HIS PROBLEM TO HIM AND HE WILL LEARN HOW TO BEHAVE. HE SHOULD SEND MONEY TO YOU TO RENT THE FLAT FOR HIM ELSE DEAD THE IDEA.
SOMEONE WITHOUT HOUSE THINKING OF HOSTING VISITORS. WHO DOES THAT.

Since you know his kind of person and the effect his presence will cause your own marriage (which should be your priority), coming to stay close to you should be out of the equation first. Then sit him down with the bill of each of the apartment and ask him how he intend to get the money for his choice, let him know politely the maximum amount you can support him with. If he's putting all the cost on you ask him to call your siblings I believe at least one of them will be bold enough to tell him the truth.

He sold his only property in the city, wasted the money on frivolities, leaving no inheritance for his children, AND NOW he demands his female daughter to foot his bills?
Who does that?
His enemies from his father’s and mother’s houses have done him a strong thing.
He needs Jesus Christ very very urgently.

You are trying to blame yourself for the Life your dad choose for himself? Learn to love him so much as to disagree with some things he says.

AtoningBlood:
I need your input people.

3 years ago, my dad sold our house without informing anyone of us. Meanwhile, we all had things left at home, including my mum's items. He never told us where some of those things are till date.

He sold that house and went to the village, he immediately started having issues with the village people. Fight today, fight tomorrow. Everyone in the village I heard now disrespect him due to how he reveal his secrets to anyone who cares to listen.

My dad wants to leave the village to go rent an apartment in another state. His financial responsibility has been on me alone. My siblings abandoned him.

He's being nursing the idea of leaving the village and never informed me. Last november I spent almost 2 million naira fixing solar power and inverter for him in his house at the village and immediately after that he started saying he wants to leave the village..

I told my dad never to relocate to the village yet, that he should wait till his is older as he is still agile and all his friends are in the state where we lived or around. He also gets contracts once in a while so I don't bear much financial burden. But no, he failed to listen and sold our house and left.

My dad wants me to cough out another 1M to rent a house, he wants it big, 3 bedroom. I told him to look for a 2 bedroom but he said where would visitors stay.

I am not even comfortable seeing him in a rented apartment, what would my cousins say, they would mock us. I have some of them who are very naughty. He is bringing shame in us.

We have two properties and my husband wants him to come and stay in one, I vehemently disagreed because he will be controlling us, some of my extended family members will come visiting him and carry the news to the village, as well as discussing my own family and I don't want that. They contributed to what is happening to him now. Through him, some of them will come to stay and I can not start what I can't continue with. So I told my husband to dead that idea fast.

He wants to leave the village latest by February. How do I convince him to get a 2 bedroom flat? 3 bedroom would mean 3 mattresses, and everything triple. My dad doesn't like anything less. All the expenses will be on me alone. My siblings don't care.

I can't turn deaf ears to his needs. I don't want him in the village and I hate to see him in a rented apartment but that is what it is now.

I need contructive advice especially those of us with retired parents, how do you relate with their needs? I told him to think of a small trade so he won't be idle like he's been since retirement and he is talking about setting up electrical pole business, I laughed. Sebi he wan rek me. Same way he did not manage hid wealth.

Your problem is what people will say and your cousin will laugh at you .
Who give a f**k about what people will say about your life ?

Klass99:
Tell him to sell the village house, like he did the town house and rent a 3 bedroom apartment.

You pay the piper (meaning you do the heavy financial lifting) yet you are allowing him dictate to you what kind of house to get. Can you not act like your siblings even a little to force him to adjust his attitude and expectations?

If I were you, I will not rent him a new place, he will stay in that village house where close to N2 million was spent installing solar power. You will continue to renew his rent each year if you let him leave the villa, do you have the means to sustain that? You go taya o!

Renting when he owns a house in the villa is not a wise use of money. A good father leaves an inheritance for his children's children, what is your own father doing? Financially wrecking you, like you rightly said.

Modified to add; You are too old to care and too old to be worrying about what your cousins will say or do. Screw them! Their opinions should be the least of your concerns, the preservation, wise use and multiplication of your resources should be your priority, or don't you have children of your own to take care of and plan for?

Nawaoo, you thought this up and believed that you had advice worth sharing?

Foodqueen:
Let reality hit him. Abandon him like your other siblings do.

Funny things about father's like this,, is that you aren't even his favorite. He wouldn't waste any time to talk you down before anyone that cares to listen.

She is probably the only girl. The other siblings are boys. Boys get hard heart. Dem don lock up.

EreluRoz:
Your dad is inconsiderate and thinks about himself alone, he doesn't put you into consideration and that's bad. Don't do more than you can carry.

She should stop calling him. Let him make his move with his money so he would feel it. Stop carrying a burden for someone who doesn't care about you, your family and your finances. If your grownup child ask for money to rent a 3 bedroom flat, don't give him or her money to rent more than a self contained apartment. How can she be negotiating 2 bedroom for her father? Let him stay in highest one bedroom or find his way on his own to a 3 bedroom flat. Accomodation price doubles in many places after first payment. Don't ever start what you can't finish.

AtoningBlood:
I need your input people.
I can't turn deaf ears to his needs. I don't want him in the village and I hate to see him in a rented apartment but that is what it is now.

Oh yes you can. He acts the way he does because he knows he has a cash cow who he doesn't have to be responsible to. He sold his house and didn't save a dime to take care of himself? It's time to have a come to Jesus conversation with him. He's an adult, not a 5 year old.

TheBillyonaire:
From the points you raised, you have a good heart and also have the resources to expand your wealth. Whenever ever you experience constriction, do the opposite - Expand!

I know you mentioned that he wants 3-Bedroom Flat and wants to move in as early as February. Do not allow yourself to be manipulated. ASk him to be patient because you have a better plan for him.

Do some research on your State Capital or your Husband's Capital and and convince your husband to help out too because this is an opportunity to own a little more real real estate. Buy cheap land at the sub-urban that could be useful for you or your kids in the future and build a 3-Bedroom bungalow which he will move him and when he translates, the house is yours.

Ignore the idea of rent if you can afford to build a simple 3-Bedroom and tell him you are building a house for him, the news will restore his pride and yours and shut the lips of the naysayers and also buy him sometime to enjoy the village.

As for his Electric Pole business, it is a good idea, but he can start with Block Making business after the house is complete, there is a chance he can get back on his feet with it.

I never knew we still have sound minded Nairalanders. Kudos Bro

/
Your father is inconsiderate.

However, I respect your relationship with him considering that most times all we hear about is “my mother this, my mother that”.

Sort it out with him. Much respect though.

/

AtoningBlood:
I need your input people.

3 years ago, my dad sold our house without informing anyone of us. Meanwhile, we all had things left at home, including my mum's items. He never told us where some of those things are till date.

He sold that house and went to the village, he immediately started having issues with the village people. Fight today, fight tomorrow. Everyone in the village I heard now disrespect him due to how he reveal his secrets to anyone who cares to listen.

My dad wants to leave the village to go rent an apartment in another state. His financial responsibility has been on me alone. My siblings abandoned him.

He's being nursing the idea of leaving the village and never informed me. Last november I spent almost 2 million naira fixing solar power and inverter for him in his house at the village and immediately after that he started saying he wants to leave the village..

I told my dad never to relocate to the village yet, that he should wait till his is older as he is still agile and all his friends are in the state where we lived or around. He also gets contracts once in a while so I don't bear much financial burden. But no, he failed to listen and sold our house and left.

My dad wants me to cough out another 1M to rent a house, he wants it big, 3 bedroom. I told him to look for a 2 bedroom but he said where would visitors stay.

I am not even comfortable seeing him in a rented apartment, what would my cousins say, they would mock us. I have some of them who are very naughty. He is bringing shame in us.

We have two properties and my husband wants him to come and stay in one, I vehemently disagreed because he will be controlling us, some of my extended family members will come visiting him and carry the news to the village, as well as discussing my own family and I don't want that. They contributed to what is happening to him now. Through him, some of them will come to stay and I can not start what I can't continue with. So I told my husband to dead that idea fast.

He wants to leave the village latest by February. How do I convince him to get a 2 bedroom flat? 3 bedroom would mean 3 mattresses, and everything triple. My dad doesn't like anything less. All the expenses will be on me alone. My siblings don't care.

I can't turn deaf ears to his needs. I don't want him in the village and I hate to see him in a rented apartment but that is what it is now.

I need contructive advice especially those of us with retired parents, how do you relate with their needs? I told him to think of a small trade so he won't be idle like he's been since retirement and he is talking about setting up electrical pole business, I laughed. Sebi he wan rek me. Same way he did not manage hid wealth.

You closed all options and you want constructive advice.

You don't want him in the village, you don't want him in a rented apartment, you don't want him to stay in one of your properties...

Build another house for him.

Daddy from hell
God forbid
I go just kpai you

1TrippleCee:
Stand your ground or tell him to use the profeeds from the sale of his house to get the 3Bed

thats not a nice thing to say to a father whos now vulnerable.

Let me get straight to the point:
They set your father back spiritually, and they will make him the access point into your own life too if you let him have his way. Your softspot for him is also an entry point of the wicked people into your life. Your siblings are wise. They may appear harsh and selfish, but this world is filled with wickedness you must secure yourself first (then anyone who aligns with you). But by all means, you first! I wish I could say more. But you can chat me up on WhatsApp 08062180390

AtoningBlood:
I need your input people.

3 years ago, my dad sold our house without informing anyone of us. Meanwhile, we all had things left at home, including my mum's items. He never told us where some of those things are till date...

I need contructive advice especially those of us with retired parents, how do you relate with their needs? I told him to think of a small trade so he won't be idle like he's been since retirement and he is talking about setting up electrical pole business, I laughed. Sebi he wan rek me. Same way he did not manage hid wealth.

Don't allow his pride control you or ruin you. Please, forget about what your cousins or anyone will say and do what is convenient for you. He sold his property and moved to village because he felt age was no longer on his side. Let him remain in the village. Open a business for him and get a sales girl to work for him. Whenever he is bored, he can come to city and visit you. He had too much time to gossip in the village because he was idle.
If you spend 1M to get a 3-bedroom flat for him, you will still be spending 500k monthly to feed him take care of his responsibilities but if you open a business for him, he will take care of himself.

AtoningBlood:


My siblings don't care. He can't even tell them of his plans.

Unknowingly you are becoming a victim of BLACK TAX. It's quite obvious that if you can conveniently find his request you would have done that without batting an eyelid rather than asking for advice. He knows you have a soft spot for him that's why he's placing the request on you only without involving your siblings. Coerce him to inform your siblings about his request so that you guys can jointly decide on what to else you'll be the one to bear the burden alone continually