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Is Cheating Normal For Men? / How Would You React If You Know Your Dad Is Cheating Of your Mum? / My Friend's Husband Is Cheating On Her, Do I Tell Her? (2) (3) (4)
| by Nobody: 4:31pm On Nov 08, 2011 |
| Re: by coogar: 4:37pm On Nov 08, 2011 |
i will actually say cheating is more common in the diaspora! it's just that nigerians here hate the police and will rather settle the matter in-house amicably. shouting and fighting would get the neighbours to call the police and since most nigerians are illegal - it'd be stupid to do anything to arouse the neighbours in the first place. all the married naija men in my office are serial cheats. it's their own way of destressing! |
| Re: by Nobody: 4:39pm On Nov 08, 2011 |
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| Re: by coogar: 4:48pm On Nov 08, 2011 |
chaircover: it depends on the kind of company they keep, what interests them and how often they go out. cheating is rampant here cos most times, it's the women who actually make the moves - use her resources to get the man laid. a fling here and there and all is well and dandy. it's not really in your face. it's kind of coded because of the superior technology in communication here. on the mobile phone, one can book for hotel, pay for the room to be used, send a text to the babe to wait at the hotel, drive down, take her in, do the business and disperse. it's smarter, neater and neighbours generally mind their business. unlike in nigeria where mama caro would have spotted the husband driving in to one obscure hotel. |
| Re: by BABE3: 5:50pm On Nov 08, 2011 |
chaircover: There're no Universities in Diaspora? @ Topic: I wouldn't know. However, Coogar Saying cheating is more in diaspora because most Nigerians are illegal doesn't make sense. Do you know how many people cheat without getting caught? Do you know how many of them that cheat without getting to the point of "a confrontation" to arouse the neighbors? A lot. Only a handful of people that cheat get caught. The fact that they don't want to call the polices' attention doesn't mean they are not cheating/ they've not cheated. That "illegal" factor wouldn't affect the fact that "Diasporians" cheat more or less. If atall the "illegal" factor should affect the cheating rate in Diaspora, it should lessen it, and not Increase it. |
| Re: by coogar: 5:55pm On Nov 08, 2011 |
BABE!: you have lost me here. . . . i said nigerians in diaspora cheat more but we don't get to hear about them like we do at home because nigerians tend to keep their business under wraps here. a wife that has caught her husband cheating most likely will not confront or shout the ears of her neighbours down to arouse the police if her husband is illegal. she will suck it in and deal with the matter privately! babe, you deserve to be flogged - your glasses need a pair of wipers.  |
| Re: by BABE3: 6:01pm On Nov 08, 2011 |
coogar: So you're implying that because you don't hear about them, they cheat more? ?? That don't make no sense-- |
| Re: by coogar: 6:03pm On Nov 08, 2011 |
BABE!: because it isn't in your face shouldn't rule out the fact that they do it in codes. mind, i cited an instance of the married folks in my place of work - they are all serial cheats and the excuse is de-stressing! they haven't been caught once and they probably would never be caught. to their wives and neighbours, the men are exemplary. to me, they are serial fornicators. that's the difference between knowing and not knowing. |
| Re: by BABE3: 6:10pm On Nov 08, 2011 |
^^ Right. That doesn't still mean Nigerians in Diaspora cheat more. Why would you just assume the "Diasporans" take the cake based on your observation at your place of work and "doing it in code"? My point is: we need statistics.  We need Facts and Polls. You can't just make up reasons without knowing the "truth". Reasons should come from the "truth" and not vice versa. |
| Re: by coogar: 6:18pm On Nov 08, 2011 |
BABE!: there are several reasons to form an opinion nigerian men in diaspora cheat more. --they have the resources to cheat! --wives are busy --the climate. --documents --the culture in the diaspora. --etc. |
| Re: by BABE3: 6:22pm On Nov 08, 2011 |
^^ Sweet. You agree it's just an opinion. You could be wrong. The climate? lol. Expatiate. |
| Re: by coogar: 6:24pm On Nov 08, 2011 |
BABE!: cold weather cranks up the s[i]e[/i]x hormones.  |
| Re: by ronkebp(f): 6:55pm On Nov 08, 2011 |
coogar: Coogar, i get what you are saying, but the diasporas' do not cheat more than the home based ones. Then the wives of those (diasporas) that cheat., have not caught their husbands yet, that is why you are not hearing noises coming from their homes, My aunt have friends in Newyork that have sent their hubbys' packing because they caught them cheating. |
| Re: by coogar: 7:01pm On Nov 08, 2011 |
ronkebp: illegal immigrants are allowed to roam in america as long as they have not committed a crime. quite different in the u-k. i am talking and looking at it from the uk's rearview mirror. |
| Re: by BABE3: 7:02pm On Nov 08, 2011 |
ronkebp: hehehehe. ronkebp: How do you know this? |
| Re: by ronkebp(f): 7:08pm On Nov 08, 2011 |
BABE!: My dear, The reasons CC gave above are part of the reasons that men here hardly cheat on their wives, not that some, that have time on their hands don't, infact, once you give the men breathing spaces, they are out, gallivanting. Moreso, some women who relocated back to Nigeria with their hubbys' are back, because they felt their husbands' were always outside with friends till late in the night, thay prefer to live tight here with their husbands in their arms, instead of living large in Nigeria with their husbands outside. |
| Re: by ronkebp(f): 7:10pm On Nov 08, 2011 |
coogar: Oh Coogar, did not know you were talking about U.K, that place na naija now!!! , what do you expect there, their work never plenty. |
| Re: by dayokanu(m): 7:21pm On Nov 08, 2011 |
CC I am not sure I agree with you. Nigerians cheat equally everywhere you go and cheating partners are even easier to find in diaspora. But let me give you an instance. In Lagos if you drive from Ketu to Yaba you might still find someone who knows you and would report you but you can even have 3 girldfriends in the same neighbourhood in diaspora and no one would pay attention to you. Given the variety of women available in Diaspora, I would say its easier to cheat The only difference is that in Diaspora you wont do it blatantly like in Nigeria because of the reasons you mentioned |
| Re: by ronkebp(f): 7:34pm On Nov 08, 2011 |
^^^^^^^ It is easier, does not mean they cheat more than the home based men. It is definitely easier to cheat, but where is the time to cheat, for a single man, maybe so, but for a married man with kids, for where!!! |
| Re: by Fhemmmy: 8:25pm On Nov 08, 2011 |
Cheating in western world is probably worse than in Nigeria, the only difference that i see is that the ladies dont really want more than fun, and they could be matured about it, while the ladies in Nigeria ccant let go, cos they see the man as their ATM. Also, the men in Nigeria that is cheating wanna control the woman, while the man in western world understands that the woman is free and independent. But cheating in western world is crazy, but again, i do agree with the fact that it could be easier in Nigeria cos there is time, money (Cs the ladies there are cheaper to afford) and it is like the norms in Nigeria . . . |
| Re: by Nobody: 8:26pm On Nov 08, 2011 |
Men will cheat ANYWHERE once they get the chance,its in our genes. I don't expect a woman to understand because it is a MAN thing. So home or diaspora,a man gonna cheat because hes got to cheat, simples! |
| Re: by ezzykay: 8:27pm On Nov 08, 2011 |
you are right and wrong in some ways. even here in the diaspora,men and women do cheat,but civilisation has made many people not to gossip and tell on other people's affair,beacuse they all value their right of privacy,which is not so common in NIGERIA and even in Africa.we are all humans,with a natural urge to react at the oppposite sex.is normal. |
| Re: by Wallie(m): 8:34pm On Nov 08, 2011 |
The most two common reasons are: [list] [li]You don't want to go through divorce over here especially if you have a kid. The courts can throw you out of your own house and also give about 1/3 of your paycheck for your first child to your wife. If you have more than one child, then you're royally screwed. If you don't pay, they can garnish your paycheck! [/li] [li]Like @coogar said, the last thing you want to do if you don't have your papers is to catch a court case![/li] [/list] |
| Re: by omar22(m): 8:35pm On Nov 08, 2011 |
i will actually say cheating is more common in the diaspora! What a load of rubbish!!!! Yes their is cheating but its nowhere near what happens in Nigeria! one thing is that it cost time and money to have an affair, and most relationships in Africa starts off with "has he got money or not" which is a soggy foundation! over here a woman doesnt have to jump through hoops because of a man! in Nigeria a man who has more money could entice another away from her partner, this mean that same man could sleep with Genevieve, Omotola and Nadia, |
| Re: by Fhemmmy: 8:38pm On Nov 08, 2011 |
Wallie: Would that be the reason why they all wait till they go to Nigeria to soil their royal jacket then? |
| Re: by r231(m): 8:42pm On Nov 08, 2011 |
dayokanu: I disagree sir its very easy in Nigeria. . . you can get home anytime you feel like and blame it on traffic here for example your partner knows how long it takes you to get to work and return home either driving or taking public transport. with the mentality of the people back home, even if you get caught cheating you can still fight your way out (or slap your wife to sitdown like some will say on NL) . . . . try that here you are toasted you will wake up at the nearest B&B blaming yourself |
| Re: by harrier(m): 8:47pm On Nov 08, 2011 |
Yes u right,but is more cheaper to import Dan have one in diaspora, by the time u but a Virgin ticket and shopping money u find it kk. |
| Re: by Nobody: 8:48pm On Nov 08, 2011 |
It is just as common as it is back home, if not more. Ogas and lolos around me are separating/divorcing left and right because of infidelity. |
| Re: by coogar: 9:01pm On Nov 08, 2011 |
omar22: you are the one talking out of sense because nigerians in diaspora have more time and money to stage an affair than you think! they can commute 24 hrs of the day without fear unlike back home when people can't do a lot at nights because of security.
and most relationships in the diaspora is not even based on who's got money. if the girl wants s[i]e[/i]x, she pushes for s[i]e[/i]x and she gets it. purely s[i]e[/i]xual relationship and everyone's happy - no strings attached! |
| Re: by MissEZ(f): 9:12pm On Nov 08, 2011 |
I dont think that anyone has proof to show that men in diaspora cheat less than men at home. A cheat is a cheat regardless of location, wherever there is an opportunity, a cheat will use it. This applies to more than just women. |
| Re: by MOBO999: 9:53pm On Nov 08, 2011 |
@ Poster, not at all, Black men in Europe, I will say England cheat a lot, but it is difficult for the ladies to find out, the women here in England dont need the men cash, unlike the case in Nigeria, if only you knew what goes on in the Pub, night clubs and on the street of major and small town in England, white women cant resist us and they dont even call or care if you are married, most white women prefer to text and do the blackberry pin, they dont call, so married Nigeria men wife or partner cant find out, most Nigeria men also have like two facebook account and also they are into dating site. So most time they just tell the wify they going for a seminar or securty job that will bring in extra £500 and it all a lie, they gone to a town neaby to see some white lady and spend the night at her place, you can be lovers with a white lady and she wont even bother to know your place, so long as you warm her bed once in a while, ask brother in the street of England,white women are Black men crazy,they did go as far as Jamaica, Senegal or Gambia to seek white men, so think what they did do to the few black men in their country, not now the Polish, Soviakian and Hungarian are coming in with the EU immigration, Black men are wanted everywere,but the Black man must also know the system to hook them also, it is called the Black and White law. |
| Re: by Blendy77(f): 10:12pm On Nov 08, 2011 |
I also think its because our culture permits it. for example, the kind of look you get from family and friends when you complain that your husband is cheating on you. That kind of "and so?" look. As if 'is it a new thing" kind of look. That is because no one expects you to divorce your husband because he is cheating on you. the men too know that Nigerian women are also trying to avoid being called "second handed wives" so they keep cheaping since they feel their wives will always forgive them. Abroad its not so, Infact our Naija men tend to treat their wives differently while abroad than here in Naija. |
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