in chemistry class teacher asked a girl:what r Nitrates?Girl answered shyly:nights rates r high then day

A person who surrenders when he�s WRONG, is HONEST. A person who SURRENDERS when not SURE, is WISE. A person who surrenders even if he�s RIGHT, is a HUSBAND!

A boy goes to sees a dance.
His mom angrily asks him:
Did you sees anything there that You were not supposed to see?

Boy: yea, I saw dad there!

Out of four people one is Chinese. If ur father, ur mother and ur brother are not Chinese, then it must be YOU.

Marriage is like a public toilet
Those waiting outside are desperate to get in
And
Those inside are desperate to come out,

MBBS Final Exam
Question: Fill in the blanks.
If a lady faints, we must 1st check her PU_S_
Only few intelligent students wrote PULSE

A husband was stung by a bee on his penis and it became swollen.His wife prayed, "Oh God may you remove off the pain and leave the size as it is

Which Type Of Woman Is Yours?
HARD-DISK Woman:She remembers everything, FOREVER.
RAM Woman:She forgets about you, the moment you turn her off.
WINDOWS Woman:Everyone knows that she can't do a thing right, but no one can live without her.
EXCEL Woman:They say she can do a lot of things but you mostly use for your four basic needs.
SCREENSAVER Woman:She is good for nothing but at least she is fun!
INTERNET Woman:Difficult to access.
SERVER Woman:Always busy when you need her.
MULTIMEDIA Woman:She makes horrible things look beautiful.
CD-ROM Woman:She is always faster and faster.
E-MAIL Woman:Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense.
VIRUS Woman:Also known as "WIFE"; when you are not expect

75yrz old man got married with a girl of 15 yrz old. At marriage nite they both r crying cuz Girl don't know anything and the old man have 4gotten everything.

Man:what is million years to u?
God:only a second.
Man:what is billion of Dollar.to u?
God:only a Coin.
Man:ok give me a Coin.
God:wait a second,

AT 18 a lady is like a football, 22 men behind her,
at 28 a basketball, 10 men behind her,
at 38 a golf ball, 1 man behind her,
at 48 a TABLE TENISS ball, 1 man pushing her to the other

GIRL to BOY: I am radio My left boob is tuner n right boob is volume control. Boy turns both boobs but there is No sound! Girl: Fool, U are not plugged in, !

Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense.
Student: The future tense is "You will go to jail

Not bad.

Thanks ARareGem.
More coming tommorrow. Make sure you bookmark

Nice thread

BoOOosHBoy:

Nice thread

Thanks man

Cool

nice one but ignore any critics that will surely come up soon by ******. I don't need to mention names.

Ignore all hatersz.
Your copy and paste joke are gud.
True, felly gudy indeeed.

@Agy, ignore critics coming from ajibel abi?

my rating: 2.5 stars out of 5

Ready for today package! well here we go

A woman was bragging to her neighbour about her son, a university student. "Our son is so brilliant, every time we get a letter from him we have to go to the dictionary," said a proud mom. "You are lucky, "the neighbour said. "Every time we get a letter from ours, we have to go to the bank!"

Can U name FIVE Great KINGS who have brought HAPPINESS into PEOPLES LIVES??
ANSWER: "drin-KING, smo-KING, lic-KING, suc-KING & offcourse fucKING

girls are like an internet virus, they enter ur life, scan ur pocket , transfer ur money, edit ur mind, download their problems delete ur smiles and hang u for ever

I need new jokes,

I'm tired of old rugged jokes.

Teacher teaching algebra to student
A=B=C
it means A=C
Teacher asks student to give an example of it
Student:sir i luv u, u luv ur daughter, it means i luv ur daughter

TEACHER :Name the animal which live in water & land
STUDENT :Simple 'Frog'
TEACHER :Now name such 4 animal
STUDENT :Simple "Frog's mother,Frog's father,Frog's sister"

A priest saw a girl removing her blouse. The priest prayed: God, please close my eyes. When he opened his eyes, the girl was naked, This time he prayed God please close your eyes.

A convicted rapist was sentenced to a death penalty.he was 2 choose between being hanged or being injected with a syringe with HIV/AIDS blood.he choose to be injected with AIDS, after they have finished with him he never stopped laughing and they asked why r u laughing he just whispered and say i have put on a condom

Mother to her tennage daughter:
I think it's time that we should talk abt sex,
Daughter: Sure Mom!!, What u want to know?

A 90 yr old man started making love with his 85 yr wife, he started sucking her breats and after few seconds the man expired, GUESS WHY?
Autoposy Report : death due to expired milk.

People who do lots of work.make lots of mistakes,
People who do less work.make less mistakes,
People who do no work.make no mistakes,
People who make no mistakes.get promoted.