Stevenbright:


Ok.

[b]She is expecting your friend to overlook it and go ahead with the marriage [/b]but he must ensure the issue is settled before the final conclusion of the marriage.

You get it, and the reason he talk to me for advice.

I just want them to be happy in anything they do

MrBrownJay1:


is the child's biological father still alive?

I don't ask, but I think so.

There's high probability of that

Tjra:


I know that your friend is you.

Why would you want to adopt someone's child? It's not as if his father is dead.

Your insistence on having legal authority over the boy before he can come see his mother is a dangerous red flag.

My advise to you is that you leave the lady

peacefully. Don't ruin her. Being after one is already hard enough.

I am not a single father, I am married with 2 beautiful and lovely daughter's.

To your advice, it would be reverted.

Your friend is acting selfish. The lady might be carrying the thought of what if the biological father comes for his son nko? Definitely there will be issues. If your friend loves the lady, let him marry the girl with the child and treat him good. It will be left for the boy to consider him as his father, depending on the way he treats him. Or else he can allow her go, because he can surely not have only her.

Abbeytoy:

I don't ask, but I think so.
There's high probability of that

let put ourselves in that man's shoes.... so you paid for the upkeep of your child (food/shelter/medical/school fees etc) until now, and then because some man wants to marry your babymama, he wants to adopt "your" child that you've raised til now. what man in his right mind would be okay with that?

MrBrownJay1:


let put ourselves in that man's shoes.... so you paid for the upkeep of your child (food/shelter/medical/school fees etc) until now, and then because some man wants to marry your babymama, he wants to adopt "your" child that you've raised til now. what man in his right mind would be okay with that?

Doesn't have issues with the baby daddy, can the mother accept the terms given is the deal.

4reala:
Your friend is acting selfish. The lady might be carrying the thought of what if the biological father comes for his son nko? Definitely there will be issues. If your friend loves the lady, let him marry the girl with the child and treat him good. It will be left for the boy to consider him as his father, depending on the way he treats him. Or else he can allow her go, because he can surely not have only her.

Securing the future and protest his interest is now considering childish?

Wow wow wow.

I think I have find the perfect response for him to act on

Abbeytoy:
Doesn't have issues with the baby daddy, can the mother accept the terms given is the deal.

the child biological father must be part of that discussion/deal... you cant possibly decide to adopt another man's child without talking to that man first and foremost (if he is alive), even if babymama accepts the adoption of her child.

Abbeytoy:


Securing the future and protest his interest is now considering childish?

Wow wow wow.

I think I have find the perfect response for him to act on

So you haven't seen some biological children refusing to recognize one or both parents when grown up, or even disowning some

4reala:

So you haven't seen some biological children refusing to recognize one or both parents when grown up, or even disowning some

Never seen, only heard but rate... However, it's a choice to make whether to finance someone else child or not.

Now, I believe he should not spend a penny on the boy or let her go

MrBrownJay1:


the child biological father must be part of that discussion/deal... you cant possibly decide to adopt another man's child without talking to that man first and foremost (if he is alive), even if babymama accepts the adoption of her child.

She should then agree not to finance the boy.

It's not a big deal, make the biological father do

Abbeytoy:


Never seen, only heard but rate... However, it's a choice to make whether to finance someone else child or not.

Now, I believe he should not spend a penny on the boy or let her go

No, I'm only giving u the illustration that even his own biological son can disown him, that it's not legalizing adoption that will make the boy see him as his. He just have to show love, taking into consideration that the lady is also going to show love to his own son

Abbeytoy:


Never seen, only heard but rate... However, it's a choice to make whether to finance someone else child or not.

Now, I believe he should not spend a penny on the boy or let her go

No, I'm only giving u the illustration that even his own biological son can disown him, that it's not legalizing adoption that will make the boy see him as his. He just have to show love, taking into consideration that the lady is also going to show love to his own son.

Abbeytoy:
She should then agree not to finance the boy.
It's not a big deal, make the biological father do

it IS a big deal... remember, its more than just a financial issue. but ok, lets look at it in all repercussions....
1st of all, if/when that child lives in his house, will he pay part of the rent too? if/when that child rides in his car with them, will he pay Uber fee too? if/when he uses that man's cooking gas to cook his own food, will he pay part of the gas bill? if/when that child uses light in his room or electricity to play with his Playstation or charge his phone, will he pay part of the Nepa bill too?

2nd, when that child turns a teenager and start to be rebellious IN THAT MAN'S home, who will discipline him? when that teenage child (probably bigger than his mother now) insult his mother and disrespects her. who will discipline him now? when that teenage child misses curfew and comes home at 3 in the morning drunk or high, who will discipline him and teach him respect? when that teenage child brings his yeye friends over and start to mess around with all type of girls OR any type of drugs, who will discipline him? a man with AUTHORITY must be in this child's life 24/7 to show him guidance, to teach/raise him and instill in him the proper values, care, love and upbringing. most mothers can only raise a child until 12/13yrs old, after that, the authority/strength and NO messing around attitude of daddy comes into play.

3rd, the reality is that there can only be one head in your household, and that person must be listened to by EVERYONE IN YOUR HOME, no exception whatsoever. nobody can be in your home pretending that they dont have to answer to you (the head of the household). the minute someone believes that they are only there as "tourists", then your home is about to be messed with.

Kobojunkie:
This is a no-brainer though! The adoption thing seems to be a deal breaker. Commonsense is your friend should quit the relationship and move on.

First time of reading something objective from .......

Today is a good day.

Happy 😊 Good Friday

MrBrownJay1:


it IS a big deal... remember, its more than just a financial issue. but ok, lets look at it in all repercussions....
1st of all, if/when that child lives in his house, will he pay part of the rent too? if/when that child rides in his car with them, will he pay Uber fee too? if/when he uses that man's cooking gas to cook his own food, will he pay part of the gas bill? if/when that child uses light in his room or electricity to play with his Playstation or charge his phone, will he pay part of the Nepa bill too?

2nd, when that child turns a teenager and start to be rebellious IN THAT MAN'S home, who will discipline him? when that teenage child (probably bigger than his mother now) insult his mother and disrespects her. who will discipline him now? when that teenage child misses curfew and comes home at 3 in the morning drunk or high, who will discipline him and teach him respect? when that teenage child brings his yeye friends over and start to mess around with all type of girls OR any type of drugs, who will discipline him? a man with AUTHORITY must be in this child's life 24/7 to show him guidance, to teach/raise him and instill in him the proper values, care, love and upbringing. most mothers can only raise a child until 12/13yrs old, after that, the authority/strength and NO messing around attitude of daddy comes into play.

3rd, the reality is that there can only be one head in your household, and that person must be listened to by EVERYONE IN YOUR HOME, no exception whatsoever. nobody can be in your home pretending that they dont have to answer to you (the head of the household). the minute someone believes that they are only there as "tourists", then your home is about to be messed with.

single mothers will always keep the door open for their baby daddies the friend will always be the 3rd party in the relationship

Babinski:


He can adopt the boy on the basis of abandonment by the biological father. If the biological father has not been responsible for the feeding, schooling and fending for the child in anyway, it is considered that he has abandoned the child.

It is wisdom for the man to insist on legally adopting the child before becoming financially responsible for the child. By that action no other man can come years later to start asking for his abandoned son after someone else has spent time, money and efforts raising and taking care of the child. That would also signify the woman breaking completely with the child's father instead of entertaining the possibility of the man coming back.

The adoption would also help the boy integrate with the new family because the man will now see him as his own without any discrimination and he will also see the other children in the family as his siblings. In fact the boy would be entitled to any future inheritance from the man just like his biological children.

The woman's resistance to the adoption may either be out of ignorance and misinformation or a hidden agenda to keep her options open with the father of the child.

Apt💯

Abbeytoy:


Doesn't have issues with the baby daddy, can the mother accept the terms given is the deal.

Is the baby daddy active in the child's life and living up to his responsibilities?

Why does he want to make another person’s child his?
As a single father himself, would he want another man to take legal custody of his child.

He is a red flag abeg. The lady should find her and son a better man.

He's also a single father, if his child was with the mother and she allows her husband adopt him thereby losing any right to him how would he feel.

Always dishing what you can't accept.

He should go and marry a lady with no child.

Ishilove:

Is the baby daddy active in the child's life and living up to his responsibilities?

I am not sure of that

justlovesfarmin:
Why does he want to make another person’s child his?
As a single father himself, would he want another man to take legal custody of his child.

He is a red flag abeg. The lady should find her and son a better man.

The message is clear... It's not a must but he won't allowed him in his house or take care of him.

They are cool if he take the boy to his father.

NoToPile:
He's also a single father, if his child was with the mother and she allows her husband adopt him thereby losing any right to him how would he feel.

Always dishing what you can't accept.

He should go and marry a lady with no child.

The message is clear... It's not a must but he won't allowed him in his house or take care of him.

They are cool if he take the boy to his father