a

Good compilation,i was reeking with laughter!!!!

thats very innovative. kudos.

[b]

Dave,
I don die for laughter here o!!!

I've already sent the first one on e mail to many of my friends here. Nna, you don crack old man ribs!! U sure say the elders go forgive you so?

good one by david.

Hey Folks,

This was sent to me recently via email. Thought I should share:


Senate: Presidential rubber stamp for unpopular laws and illegal constitutional ammendments.

Babacracy[/color][color=#990000][/color]: Unitary system of Governnment headed by a powerful life President. Minimum age of 60 required. See also, Nigerian "democracy".

[color=#000099]Chief: Traditional title sold by traditional rulers to the highest bidder.

Honorary degree: A "doctorate" degree confered on an individual by a higher Institution primarily as a form of political patronage.

Privatisation: Sale of public property to members of a countries' ruling political party and other sycophants.

BPE: Bureau of Private Enrichment. See also, Privatisation.

Runway: Recreation park for cattle

Democracy defenders: People who "oppose" the ruling party on the basis of their exclusion from revenue "sharing."

No-go-area: The real problem with a country that are not supposed to be discussed while trivial matters are being discussed. See also, Federalism, resource control, e.t.c

Court order: Worthless piece of paper that is not binding on the Presidential and Legislative arms of government.

Sacred cows: Members of the ruling party of a nation.

Universities: Nigerian synonym for glorified secondary schools.

Probe panel: Job opportunity for unemployed political hangers-on. See also, constitutional reform committee, Oputa panel e.t.c

Mantu (n) m-a-n-t-o-o: A tool used for illegal manipulation of constitutions.

Third term (adj) thûrd tûrm: Nigerian euphemism for life Presidency.

Public hearing (adj) pub*lic hîr ng: Secret meetings held by Politicians with the aim of feathering their own nests.

Patriotism (adv) p tr - -t z m : A word used to describe unquestionable loyalty to the President.

Election (n) -l k sh n: Selection of party loyalists by the President to political office.

Blueprint: A government paper detailing fantasy white elephant projects. Used primarily as a political tool to deceive the people.

Communique/report: worthless piece of document released at the close of lectures, seminars, probe panels and or committees. Usually contains grandiose speeches, unrealistic goals, castles in the air e.t.c See also, National political Reform committee report, Vision 2010 report.

Budget: Annual ritual by the legislative and Presidential arms of Government detailing resource meant to be "shared" amongst the three tiers of Political office holders.

Ecological fund: Money meant for electioneering campaigns, sharing among party chieftains, foreign bank accounts e.t.c See also, Dariye

Security Vote: Pocket money meant for Political office holders.

dats an old one but still funny

Awesome post. I always knew that the chemistry in the country is too easily manipulated into tyranny of the majority.

lol, very funny.

:d

Funny.

Lessons from a Nigerian politician

david,
Nna, how bodi? You don start again! Make I add one join:

Treasonable Felony: A term recently ascribed to militant youths who dare challenge the status quo in the land, by democratic tribunals. See MASSOB and MEND, also see Asari Dokubo.

@davidylan

Very impressive.

Don't forget Dividends of Democracy (or is it Democracy Dividends ?). The politicians
use this a lot.

[b]

wow, david
i like your dictionary, it couldnt be more correct. where can i buy one? LOL

what's the dictionary meaning of minimum wage?, liberalisation of downstream petroleum sector?

Hunnh, Davidylan very impressive. But what about PRIVATIZATION, CONCESSIONAIRING, RIGHT SIZING AND DOWNSIZING.

[b]

very nice
what of supplementary budgets, constituency allowances and projects, legislative retreats etc

assembly.

Familiy Affair:
A euphemism for internal party squabbles or in-fighting that might result in deaths, chaos and dire consequences. See also, PDP

EFCC:
Corrective tool for re-aligning erring politicians in a babacratic government to gain absolute loyalty

Immunity:

davidylan:

Immunity: A smokescreen used by political office holders to plunder the treasury without fear of prosecution!

Very true man, very very true!!

hi fellow nairalanders,

am new in this forum and i found this forum communicating and informative.
thanks to everyone that has been posting jobs vacancies and may God continue 2 bless every nairalanders and provieds Job for everyone.

am still serving but will be thru in january 2007 by God's grace, have started posting my cvs online thru informations gotting from this forum. Pls my email address is all4vicky2003@yahoo.com and mobile no is 08029830729. i have an HND in Statistics. Pls always keep me posted on any job vacancies. God Bless all NAIRALANDERS!